


Welcome to Supremacy High

by StrawberriedAlive



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Bazines family is rich, But no one more than myself, Dysfunctional Family, ED issues, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Everyone hates Bazine, Explicit Language, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Issues, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, I can not tell at this point, I can't even tell if this is going to have a happy ending anymore, It has to be illegal right?, Jealous Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren not dealing with his feelings, Me editing instead of sleeping, Me having a panic attack everytime i post, Minor Character Death, More sex in a school, New York City, Or porn with plot, Please Don't Hate Me, Plot With Porn, Protective Kylo Ren, Semi-Public Sex, Sensitive Material, Slow Burn, Smut, Stalker, Watch me try to write smut, anger issues, has to be, making myself sad, more drama, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 124,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24432691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberriedAlive/pseuds/StrawberriedAlive
Summary: You start your first teaching job at Supremacy High, and you make friends with a lot of the teachers there including a certain science teacher.As the school year progresses you find that taking this job changes your life, in more ways than one.____________________________________________________________AU teacher fic.I promise its better than whatever kind of summary I thought this was 🙃Or maybe it’s not, who knows
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 201
Kudos: 283





	1. Staff meeting

Running. You were running down the streets of New York City. Your lap top bag and purse bouncing over your shoulders with each step of your feet pounding on the pavement. It was the first day of your new teaching job and being late would not be a good look.  
  
Finally reaching the steps of the high school, you looked down at your watch 7:43. 2 minutes to spare. You ripped open the door and stepped into hall. Taking an immediate right you took the steps three at a time until you reached the second floor. Speed walking down the hallway you thanked whoever was watching over you that you were not assigned a homeroom for your first year.  
  
You walked into your classroom, one of two in a small hallway. Exhaling as you flipped on the light. You had been employed in July which gave you time to come in over the summer and decorate. Pretty string lights hung on the back wall. A couple of bean bags, a long couch and some chairs sat around a soft rug at the front half of the room with your desk.

Student desks sat towards the back, faced that way so your room was technically backwards, but you liked the door being in the back of the classroom. As an english teacher you felt it was important that your class room be comfortable. You had freshman this year which meant as new as this was for you, it was just as new for them. That thought made you feel better somehow.  
  
Just as you set your bags on the chair behind your desk there was a loud laugh from the doorway.  
  
“First day and we’re already late!” The voice rang through the room. Looking up you found Rose, the teacher from across the hall and so far, your only friend here. You had met Rose over the summer when you were coming in to decorate. She had a couch in her room as well which inspired yours. She even helped you carry all of your newly bought - second hand furniture all the way up to your room.  
  
“I couldn’t sleep last night, when i finally did fall asleep i slept through my alarm. Lucky for me i’ve had this outfit picked out for a month or i would still be running down the street right now.” You laughed.  
  
Rose shook her head. “You ready for your first day?”  
  
“I think so.” You smiled, looking around the classroom. “I just hope they like it.”  
  
“They will! You did such a good job! Plus, if you get nervous, I’m not too far.” Her smile relaxed you until the bell rang overhead. “Well, that’s our cue. Oh, don’t forget staff meeting with Principal Snoke after school!”  
  
You laughed. “How could I forget? That man is scary.”  
  
Waving as some students started walking in, you told them to have a seat anywhere in the room. Some choose to sit on the chairs or couches, other chose a desk. It was a smaller class, about 13 kids. Their terrified faces stared at you as you made your way to the front (back) of the room.   
  
“Hello everyone! My name is Ms. L/N. I know that this is your first class, on your first day, of your new school, but it is also mine. So, I know how you are all feeling right now. I just want to say, although it’s a corny teacher thing to say, if anyone needs anything at all my door is always open.” You smiled looking around at them. Most seemed to relax slightly and that boosted your confidence just slightly. “Okay. Let’s go over what we will be doing this quarter!”

After giving various version of that speech to 5 classes, with a single hour lunch break in the middle, you made you’re way down to the staff meeting. Despite being there a month and half Jamie was the only teacher you had met thus far. You interviewed with Principle Snoke so you had seen him, but no one else seemed to be around much before the start of the year. As you walked into the large board room you spotted Rose talking with two others in the side of the room. She smiled as you made your way towards them.

“Oh, guys!” Rose said, waving you over to put her arm around you. “This is Y/N! She’s the new freshman English teacher. She’s across the hall from me! Y/N this is Ms. Phasma, but we all call her Coach. She’s the PE and health teacher.”

Phasma reached out her hand to you. “I also am the track coach.”

Rose rolled her eyes at her but smiled before turning to the man standing with them. “This is Mr. Armitage Hux. He’s the math teacher for juniors and seniors.”

He took your still outstretched hand. “Please just Hux, and it’s Algebra and Calculus. Not just _math._ ”

“Do both of those subjects not fall under the category of math?” Rose quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Whatever. It’s just nice to finally meet the new kid. Do not let this one rub off on you to much.” Hux tilted his head towards Rose, and you thought he was trying to flirt with her. Before you could think on it to much longer the door opened. You turned slightly to see if it was Snoke here to start the meeting. Instead you were met with beautiful brown eyes. Your breath caught slightly in your chest as the man paused just inside the door, looking directly at you. His dark hair slight wavy, fell over his ears. Freckles and moles spotted his face in the most handsome way. His eyes held yours before he broke the contact to walk to the conference table.

Hux spotted the man while he took a seat. “Ah, just the man I need to go see. Excuse me ladies.”

“Earth to Y/N!” Rose snapped in front of your face. “Hello?”

“Yeah?” You squeaked.

She eyed you. “Y/N this is Mr. Dameron.”

“Poe.” He took you hand in his. “Music department.” Poe’s brown hair was pushed back, his matching brown eye looking over you.

“Oh, I loved music class in school. I was a theater kid.” You stated dropping his hand.

“Oh really? That’s great! We put on a musical every year here.”

“Really? Well I can’t wait to see it.” You smiled.

At that the door opened and Snoke walked in. “Hello everyone, sorry for the wait. If we can all have a seat.”

Everyone shuffled around the room to the long table. Rose pulled a chair out and patted the top for you to sit next to her. Snoke walked to the head of the table. Your eyes followed him as he walked, but when he passed the man from before you froze. His eyes were on you again. Staring from the other end of the table. You tried to swallow against your suddenly dry throat.

“Welcome back, I expect you all told each other about your summers already so I’ll just get started. This year we also have a new teacher joining us.” Snoke looked to you. “Ms. L/N.” You nodded to Snoke before smiling to the table. You could feel your cheeks turning red. “She is our new freshman English teacher. If she has any questions I expect you all to help her. It’s a large school and every new kid gets lost.” Snoke gave a creepy smile, and you forced yourself to smile back against his words.

He cleared his throat to continue. “As all of you know, this year we have a large number of events such as dances, and fund raiser’s scheduled throughout the year. It is required that you volunteer for 3 of these events but please feel free to do as many as you like. Mr. Ren is in charge of the event coordination. Therefore, he is who you will see about what events you wish too chaperone.” Snoke gestured to the man who was staring at you.

Ren stood from his chair and addressed the room. “I will have the list of events in my room for everyone to look over, along with the dates. Stop by anytime between classes and I’ll be there.” He sat back in his chair eyeing you again.

You had to force yourself to pull your eyes from Rens as Snoke started to speak again. “There will be an email sent out next Monday with all the information of the events you sign up for. Make sure you pick before then. That’s all I had for today. Everyone have a good start to their year.” Snoke left as the last word came out of his mouth, door shutting behind him.

Everyone started to stand to leave, some continuing earlier conversation. Some slipping out the door. You on the other hand slowly stood from you seat, giving yourself one last peak at Ren. When you did you found he was slowly making his way to the door, giving you one last look as well.

“Who was that guy?” You asked Rose once you got into the hall.

“Who? Kylo Ren? Oh, he’s the Biology-slash- Chemistry -slash- Physics -slash all around science teacher, depending on the year.”

“So, super smart then?” You laughed.

“Super smart, and super intense.” Rose said. 

You nodded. “But also, super attractive right?” You asked her opinion to see if it was just you.

Rose smiled wide at that. “If you’re into nerds, sure. I’m more of an arts girl myself.”

“Ah, so Poe then?” You winked at her.

“Well, not exactly.” She mumbled. “Hey, what are you about to go do right now?” She asked.

“Um, I was going to go home order myself some pizza and lay on my couch. Why?” You asked turning into your room.

“Come out with us! Oh please! It’ll be so fun if you come!” She slightly jumped up and down.

“Yeah, let me just lock my laptop in my desk and grab my purse.” You replied going to do just that before meeting her back in the hallway. “So, who are we going out with?”

“A couple of the teachers go out on the first day.” She opened the door for you.

“Where are we going exactly?” You asked.

And all you heard was the one word you did not want to hear. 

“Karaoke!”


	2. First impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go out with the staff and then get just a slice of one on one time with Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a tad bit of "Singing" in this chapter, sorry if you're not a fan of that but it won't be happening often this isn't that kind of fic.

Chapter 2:

Walking arm and arm with Rose through the streets of New York City, you smiled into the warm summer air. Late August meant that the heat wave was in full effect. Rose stopped in front of a small place with a neon sign, barley noticeably lite up against the late summer sun. Pulling open the door she waved for you to go in following behind you. She grabbed your hand from the side and led you through the tables and chairs of the nearly empty bar.

As you walked to the table with Rose you noticed most of the teachers from the staff meeting were already there, drinks in hand. Poe pulled out a chair for you to sit in between him and Rose. On the stage Hux was singing ‘Don’t stop believing’ loudly into the mic.

“That man can not handle his liquor.” Poe said.

“It really only takes two or three for him to break out into a full concert.” Rose laughed.

You laughed at them as you looked up to Hux on stage. When you turned back to Rose you found a familiar pair of brown eyes meet yours across the table. Kylo sat at the end of the table, arm over the back of the chair with a drink in his hand watching you. You blushed before you looked away, back to Rose.

“Okay, so what are we drinking.” You asked the pair.

“I already got it.” A man said, coming to sit next to Rose. “Hi, you must be Y/N. I’m Finn.” He held out a glass and a shot glass to you. You smiled and took it from him.

“Finn is our band instructor.” Rose explained while taking her own drink and shot from him.

“He’s also our terrible dance choreographer for the musicals.” Poe teased him.

“Yeah, yeah. Find someone better than me and I’ll pay their salary myself.” Finn said.

“Okay, hush.” Rose said holding up her shot glass. “To Y/N. Welcome to the family. I hope you enjoy being embarrassed, because with these two it’s bound to happen tonight.” She smiled before taking her shot. You laughed and took yours too.

“Oh, it’s happening we’re definitely embarrassing you tonight.” Poe said pointing to the stage.

“Oh, no. I haven’t sung in public since junior year of college. No way!” You said shaking your head with your hands up.

“Everyone does it. Well, almost everyone. So, no one cares if you can sing. There is also no way you can be worse than Hux.” Finn said, winking at you.

“Okay, Maybe after another 30 shots.” You sighed.

“Already on it.” Poe jumped up.

It wasn’t exactly 30 shots, but sometime and a hand full of drinks later you sat laughing with Rose over Finns rant about his awful college roommate his freshman year when the soft notes of a Defying Gravity rang through the small bar. All three of you turned to see Poe standing on stage big smile on his face as he stared at the three of you.

“ _Something has changed within me, something is not the same_.” Poe sang into the mic

“What is he doing?” You asked.

“Showing off.” Finn replied.

 _“To late for second guessing, to late to go back to sleep_.”

“He’s really going for it.” You stated.

“Always does!” Rose snorted.

_“It’s time to trrryyyy, deeffyyiinngg gravity.”_

“Come on guys. You know you want too!” Poe yelled into the mic.

It didn’t take any time for Rose and Finn to bolt to the stage.

“ _I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know_ “ Rose sang out.

“ _Too long I've been afraid of losing love, I guess I've lost! Well, if that's love. It comes at much too high a coooooooooooost!_ ” Finn belted. Making you laughed.

You watched the three of them sing in unison. Poe was frantically waving for you to join them while you shook your head at him. It was clear Poe was in fact not taking no for an answer as he jumped off the small stage and beelined for you, still singing perfectly word for word.

“Come on theater nerd, show us what you got.” Poe smiled but you shook your head. “Shouldn’t she sing everyone?!” Poe yelled over the mic to the table and everyone clapped and urged you on.

Rose and Finn continued in the back. “ _I hope you’re happy in the end._ ”

Poe raise his eyebrow pulling you to your feet as he sung. “ _I hope you’re happy my friend_.”

He held the mic out to you as there was a small beat in the music, and you took a deep breath in.

_“So if you care to find me. Look to the western skyyyy as someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly - And if I'm flying solo at least I'm flying freeeee - to those who'd ground me take a message back from meeee! Tell them how I am defying gravity! I’m flying high defying gravity! and soon I'll match them in renown.  
And nobody…. in all of Oz, No Wizard that there is or was- is ever gonna briiiiiiiiing me doooooooown. OHHHHHHH. ” _

The music cut, and there was complete silence as everyone stared at you. Suddenly you thought it was possible you were in fact worse than Hux. That was until Poe suddenly breathed out. “Holy shit.”

Everyone at the table cheered and clapped as Rose and Finn rushed over to you.  
  
“Are you joking? Why didn’t you tell me you could sing like that?!” Rose yelled.

“You have to help us with the musical. No that’s not a question, we need you to help us.” Finn said.

“Y/N, that was insane. You have to know how crazy that was, right?” Poe asked. You shook your head, smiling as the blush crept up your cheeks. The three continued showering you in compliments as they went to sit back down.

“Wow, I bet you need a drink after that!” Rose said.

“Yeah, I most certainly do, I’ll be right back.” You said walking towards the bar.

Walking up the bartender saw you coming and was waiting in the empty. “What can I get you beautiful?”

“Whiskey neat please.” You said and the bartender walked to the end of the bar to get a glass.

“That was quite the performance.” A deep voice sounded from directly next to you. When you turned to were met with the eyes of Kylo Ren.

“Oh, thank you.” You said meekly.

“That’s one way to make a good first impression.” He said. “This is your first teaching job, right?”

“Yes, actually. Word travels fast around here I see.” You joked.

He laughed lightly pulling out his wallet as the bartender came back over. “I got hers and close my tab out.” He gave the bartender his card.

“Oh, you really don’t need to do that.” You said shaking your head to him.

“Don’t worry about it. I like to make good first impressions too.” He winked at you before taking his card back from the bartender. “Have a good night.” He turned to leave, leaving you staring at the back of his head as he disappeared out the door.

Sitting back at the table you listen to Finn and Poe talk about there big plans for the fall show case the school puts on every year. Asking and begging for you to help them this year.  
  


“The kids would love if you helped!” Finn said.

“We start auditioning the kids next week. Tuesday actually.” Poe stated.

“You should do it!” Rose took a drink from her glass.

“Okay, yeah. I can help.” You finally agreed. Finn and Poe thanked you so many times it didn’t even seem like a real word anymore. Glancing at your watch you noted it was close to 9. “I have to get going, but I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You stood taking your purse from the back of the chair. All three waved goodbye as you slipped out the door.

Walking down the blocks to get back to your house, you thought how great your first day had been. Your mind seemed to eventually land on Kylo, and his beautiful eyes. You couldn’t seem to get your mind off him. Unlocking your front door, you walked up your stairs into your bedroom and laid on the bed to stare at the ceiling. In that moment you decided, you liked your new job.

The next day at the school was the same as before, only today you gave the kids their books they would be reading this quarter. The Great Gatsby. It was a classic so you thought it might be a good way to start out the year. You told them to read two chapters a week starting Monday. Each chapter you wanted a paper, front and back, on their personal thoughts on the chapter. Once the day was over you started to pack your bags and clean up your room for Monday.

“Hey.” Rose said, walking in to sit on the couch next to your desk.

“Hey, happy end of our first week of school.” You slid books into your bag.

“I don’t know if it counts since it was only two days.” She laughed. “Hey, did you go sign up for those field trips yet?”

“Shoot.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “It completely slipped my mind.”

“Well, you might want to run and find Ren. There’s one Monday and I know you’ll want to go.” She smiled at you.

“What is it?” You asked zipping up your bag.

“Guess you’ll have to go find out.” She stood up and winked at you.

“Or you could just tell me!” You followed her out into the hall.

“I could, but you know I won’t! See you Tuesday!” She said before walking into her classroom.

You roamed the long hallway of the science wing looking for any sign of what might be Kylo’s room. Rose had shown you around most of the school during the summer making it was easy to navigate around now. In the science hallway there are four science rooms, all looking pretty much the same. Seeing that no one was in any of them, you decided he probably had left for the day. You headed back to your classroom to get your bags and do the same, but when you came around the corner into the main hallway you nearly collided with someone. Looking up you were met with the same pair of deep brown eyes you’ve come to recognize in such a short time.

“Lost?” Kylo asked, smirking at you.

“I uh, no. I was looking for you actually.” You stammered out.

He studied you for a second. “Need to sign up for events?” You nodded, like a brainless robot at him. “Follow me.” 

He stepped around you back into the science hallway to the last door. Once inside his classroom you saw it was just that. A normal science classroom. Tall black cabinets lined the back wall. Long lab tables sat in front of them. One side wall had a long counter with sinks and an old wood desk sat on the side of the room. 

“Everyone took most of the _fun_ ones by now.” He said going to his desk and pulling out a folder to hand to you.

“That’s okay. I usual don’t find things fun the same as other people anyways.” You took the folder to one of the lab tables. He hummed in acknowledge meant while you filed through the papers. Just as you suspected most of the museum trips were still open which you gladly took on the days you could. Finding the field trip for Monday. The statue of Liberty. You smiled to yourself. Rose really was a good friend. You had mentioned to her that since moving to New York over the summer you hadn’t have a chance to see any of the iconic tourist attractions and here she was giving you the clue to do it for free.

“What if you sign up for one of the during school field trips? Would someone watch my classes?” You asked looking up to find him watching you. His eyes staying on you as you looked over the papers. 

He straightened his back slightly. “Yes, we would have other teachers come in or they would go to the library.” 

You nodded, pressing your lips into a straight line before returning your attention to the papers. Taking the pen from your hair you wrote your name in three slots before sliding them back into the folder to hand back to him. “If you come up short on any, just come let me know. I usually have a lot of free time anyways.” You half joked before realizing you were giving this man way more information than you're sure he cared to know.

“I’ll be sure to do that.” Kylo said looking over the papers you had signed up for. “Big fan of art I see.”

“You could say that.” You smiled.

He hummed and nodded in acknowledgement but said nothing else, which you took as your cue to leave. “Well, thank you Mr. Ren. I’ll let you get out of here.”

“Kylo.” He said before you got out the door. Turning back to him and you raised an eyebrow. “You can call me Kylo.” 

“Okay then. Thank you, Kylo.” You smiled at him before leaving to go back to your own room to go home for the weekend, but those brown eyes seemed to stay at the for front of your mind all weekend long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple of chapters are longer, so if long fics are your thing i am here to serve you. lol
> 
> Thank you for the wonderful kudos or for just simply reading! It's all very kind and i appreciate it!
> 
> I DO NOT OWN (Obviously) but If you need a little Mr.Ren visual, i present this GIF for you i found on someones tiktok or tumblr or somewhere it's been in my phone so long i don't even remember but google had my back so here you go :) 
> 
> (I have no idea how to link so i sure hope that works) 
> 
> https://www.google.com/search?q=Adam+driver+gif&biw=1366&bih=625&sxsrf=ALeKk02ynMVv6vzIaws_7BZJHHZDDrkoZA:1590874127778&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=05Y3Zq3sxkGOXM%253A%252Ct_zxcx7A0CCJbM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kQlULvQck1DOv11g2OauxfUVfM-8g&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiouJL6w9zpAhXYXc0KHXjjAuQQ9QEwCHoECAoQQA#imgrc=05Y3Zq3sxkGOXM


	3. First time?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a mixed signal or maybe you are just kidding yourself.

Monday morning you stood outside the school, holding a clip board with a list of student names. You decided to go a little more causal today but would still be consider teachers clothing. You thought a sundress with white Keds would keep you cool enough. Greeting each student as they came to check in with you before getting on the bus. You made sure to check and highlight every single one as they said their name then when you saw them step onto the bus, then wrote what bus they had boarded.  
  
Kylo came out the school doors walking towards you. He was in a button down, dress pants and dress shoes. That seemed to be his usual teaching outfit and didn’t seemed to be bother by the heat, or the fact the school bus transporting you would not be air conditioned. “Everyone good to go?”  
  
“Yep! Everyone’s here.” You handed him the clip board.  
  
He looked over it twice nodding. “Okay, we’re on the first bus. Two other chaperones have already been placed on the second.”  
  
You stepped onto the bus and were immediately brought back with memories of your own school field trips as a kid. The memory made you smile as you slid into one of two empty seat-benches at the front of the bus behind the driver. You sat listening to the kids sing and laugh throughout the bus, until it suddenly became quiet. Kylo stood in front of the bus with his hand in the air. Although it was not needed, every eye was on him the moment he stepped onto the bus.  
  
“I don’t need to remind you, but I will anyways. We have been gifted this trip for learning purposes. I hope you all do have fun, but please remember anyone not on their best behavior will be staying after school in my room the rest of the week.” He looked around the bus at every student. There weren’t any words share but you could tell they all understood.

Once he was sure they were all on the same page he slid into the bench-seat across from yours and stared straight ahead. You tried to push down the slight sting you felt that he didn’t sit down next you, not understand the disappoint itself. You barley knew this man. You had barley spoken to him and yet here was the disappointment bubbling up in your chest. You took out your phone to text to Rose.

**08:03: My house for wine night?**

**Rose: 08:03: Things that rough already?**

You slightly laughed to yourself at her text.

**08:04: Just need some girl talk.**

**Rose: 08:04: That means there’s a man involved. Be at your place at 6.**

You texted her back you’d see her then, locking your phone you smiled out the window at your friend. How you to got so lucky to find her you’ll never know. You had gotten closer to her in 2 months than you had with people you have known for years. You weren’t sure you’d be able to be so calm at your first job if not for her.

The bus pulled up to the harbor and Kylo stood in front of the group of excited students. “Everyone single file line and keep your ears open for instructions. Follow me.” He turned and left the bus.

You stayed to make sure everyone got off the bus, giving them high fives as they walked past. They were all just as excited as you to see the statue, some for their first time as well. Stepping off the bus you joined them in their line to the ferry when someone tapped on your shoulder. Turning you caught sight of Poe smiling behind you.

“Y/N! I didn’t realize you’d be here today.” He said walking with you as everyone loaded onto the ferry.

“Yeah, I signed up last minute.” You both walked over to the side making sure all the student stayed in one spot. You turned to watch the ferry take off from the dock and when you turned back you caught a gimps of Kylo watching you before Poe started talking again.

“First time here?” He asked.

“Yes actually.” You said looking out over the water.

“Well, it’s actually pretty boring.” Poe laughed.

“How is that?” You side eyed him.

He snorted. “Well, were going to walk through this statue and all the students are basically going to ignore the tour guide while we tell them to be quiet until Ren over there starts handing out pink slips and the entire sophomore class has detention the rest of the week.”

“Well, I’m just here because who lives in New York and has never been to the Statue of Liberty?” You joked.

“You be surprised.” He stated before walking away to pull some students off the rails the ferry.

When you arrived, it was just as Poe said it would be. You walked up and up stairs listening to the tour guide as much as you could from the back of the group. What Poe hadn’t mentioned is that he would be the reason most of the kids wouldn’t listen. He walked in the middle of the group, making jokes back and forth with the students. You stayed to the back mostly looking out various windows, and slowly realizing how high up you were. Looking out one of the windows you felt your stomach flip. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in so you didn’t vomit in front of 120 15 year olds.

“Tell me you didn’t agree to walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty knowing you had a fear of heights.” Kylo asked next to you.

You opened your eyes to turn to him. “No, I never realized I did.” Feeling too sick to try to play it off.

“Ah, well. Stepping away from the windows may be helpful.” He put his hand on your back to lead you to the center of the small room. He was right not looking out helped calm your stomach, enough that you realized he still had his hand on your back.

“Thank you.” You mumbled.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

You looked up into his eyes and your brain blanked. All you could feel was his hand on your back and his eyes on yours. You nodded, not being able to form words, hoping he would believe it was from the height sickness and not from the butterflies he gave you.

“Wait here.” He said walking towards Poe and another teacher. He said something to them before quickly turning back to you. The other teacher barley noticed but Poe turned to look at you. You didn’t have much time to signal you were fine to him before Kylo put his hand on your back again and led you to the stairs. Walking down the flights he kept his arm on you keeping you steady. Once you reached the bottom, he led you to sit on a bench before he left to get you water. He opened it handing you the bottle and watching as you drank more than half of it without a breath, your mouth feeling incredibly dry as Kylo stared down at you.

“Better?” He asked once you finally came up for air.

“Yes thank you.” You gave him a small smile.

He looked around before sitting down next to you on the small bench. Your thigh burned where it met his. He ran his hand through his hair and you took another drink. “Your boyfriend didn’t seem happy I was bringing you down here.”

You choked on the water and uncontrollably coughed. “My what?” You finally got out once you caught your breath.

“Uh, Dameron?” Kylo stated.

“Poe is not my boyfriend.” You said trying to take another drink.

“I saw you on the ferry and the other night at the bar, I just assumed.” Kylo looked away from you.

“He’s friends with Rose, and my co-worker. I was just being nice.” You tried to study the side of his face before he started to look back and you adverted your gaze.

“They should be headed back down now.” He stated.

“Okay, Thank you again.” You finally looked back to him.

He gave you a small smile. “Just happy to be embedded in your first memory of the Statue of Liberty.”

“How’d you know it was my first time?” You asked.

“You were excited.” He laughed again and it made you smile. “Did you get to learn anything?”

“Well, I know that Frederic Auguste Bartholdi designed it, and I know it was a gift from the French and there’s another in Paris” You stated.

“You learned that today?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No, I’ve watched National Treasure.” You stated.

That earned a full laugh from him, his smile split his face and crinkled his eyes as he shook his head at you. His laugh so infectious that it caused you too laugh. You knew you could never get tired of hearing it. He continued to smile and stare at you, your own laugh dying down as you looked into his eyes again. The butterflies returned and you swallowed down trying to get them to stop, even though you didn’t want them too. He continued to stare at you before you saw his eyes flick down to your lips and for a brief second you thought he was going to kiss you. You held your breath as you looked at him, both of you in your own bubble. The moment was quickly shatter by the sound of Poe yelling to you across the lobby.

Kylo’s face hardened before he stood to walk away, nodding to you before he left. You let out the breath you were holding as Poe walked over. “Are you good?” He offered you his hand to help you stand up.

“Yeah, I’m okay now.” You mumbled standing up.

“Okay, cool. You didn’t miss anything if that helps.” He joked as you both walked back to the ferry and you gave him a small smile.

You rode back on the ferry in silence, watching and listening to the students talk about how much fun they had, and how hot it was. When the ferry docked you lead the students back to the bus, grabbing the clipboard to yell out names once they were seated. Double checking everyone was on you slipped back into your seat to stare out the window. You got lost in your thoughts until you felt a warm body slip into the seat next to you.

Turning you saw Kylo studying you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good now.” You smiled at him.

“Good. Good.” He nodded pulling out his phone.

You spent the rest of the ride back to the school between looking at your phone and stealing glances at Kylo. If you had looked up at the right time you might have noticed him doing the same to you, but you didn’t and when the school bus pulled up to the school, you double checked all the students were off and went your separate ways.

Your front door opened, and Rose strolled in kicking off her shoes. “HELLOOOOO” she yelled through the house.

“In the kitchen!” You yelled back.

“Ah, there you are. Oh, you look pretty. Did you wear that to the field trip today?” She joked looking at your sweatpants and tank top.

“Oh, yeah actually. I thought going without a bra around high school kids would really just secure my job.” You laughed.

“So, would you like to start by talking about Ren or should we pretend that there’s other things you’d like to talk about for a while?” She took out a corkscrew from the kitchen drawer.

“Who said it was Ren I wanted to talk about?” You turned to grab two wine glasses from the cabinet behind you.

“Oh, please. You saw the man for maybe 20 minutes at the staff meeting and asked about him. Then I saw you two talking at the bar before he left, now you go on one field trip with him and you’re texting me 5 minutes in that you need girl talk?” She stated giving you a look.

“You should have worked for the FBI.” You took the wine bottle from her to pour into both glasses.

“I know, so what’s going on.” She took one of the glasses making her way to your kitchen table.

“Nothing. That’s the weird thing. We’ve had exactly three conversations yet whenever he’s around I turn into a complete idiot.” You sighed sinking into the seat across from her.

“Sounds like you have a crush on him to me.” She said taking a drink.

“I don’t do _crushes_.” You stated, copying her.

“Well, it would appear you do. That’s not a bad thing either.” She shrugged. “It means you’re a human with feelings.”

“Does Ren even date?” You asked.

“I’ve talk to Kylo Ren about as much as you have in my time a Supremacy. None of those conversation involved his romantic relationships.” She took another drink.

“So, he could be married already?” You asked into your drink.

“I guess he could be, but he doesn’t wear a ring.” Rose cocked her head.

“That’s true, but not all married people choose to wear rings.” You said, taking another drink. “Maybe that’s the problem, he’s to mysterious. That might be where the attraction lies. I think I even tricked myself into thinking he wanted to kiss me today just because he was being nice to me.”

“You know what, let me set you up.” Rose said suddenly.

“What?” You laughed, thinking she was joking for a second until you saw her face.

“Yeah, I have a friend who would perfect for you, and I promise he’s cute. Let me set you up next weekend.” Rose reached for her bag, which was thrown across your table. “I’ll text him now and see if he’s free.”

“Rose, I don’t know about this.” You sunk into your chair.

“No, seriously. You need to get over this little crush, or at the very least you need to get laid so let me set it up for next Saturday.” She smiled at you.

“Fine, but I want pictures first!” You stated, and Rose giggled handing you her phone to go through his pictures.

Monday morning rolled around faster than anyone would have wanted. You carried your coffee through the streets. Sleep clouding your mind as you walked up the steps of the school to the door.

“Good morning.” Kylo’s voice woke you more than your coffee did.

“Morning.” You smiled at him, walking through the door he was holding open.

“Y/N!” Rose yelled down the hallway as soon as you stepped inside, speed walking to your side. She slowed when she saw Kylo walk in behind you. Giving you a small smirk, she laced your arm in hers and pulled you a couple paces ahead of him. “So, I called my friend.” She stated a little to aloud and you know what she was doing. “Don’t even give me that look. You’re hot and _single_.” She winked. “So, he’ll pick you up Saturday at 5pm.”

You shot her a real look this time as you both turned right out of the staircase, leaving Kylo to turn left alone behind you guys. “Smooth.” You said when you were alone.

“Jealously fuels action my friend. Now you will find out either way, just let know if I should tell my friend you’re busy.” She winked you before walking into her classroom.


	4. The lights on Broadway

You didn’t see Kylo the rest of the week and seeming as you didn’t leave your classroom much that wasn’t a surprise. It didn’t stop you from believing it meant he had no interest in you and he didn’t care that you had a date at all. It wasn’t until you were hunched over your desk after school on Thursday eating the sandwich you didn’t eat for lunch and grading papers that he decided to make an appearance.  
  


“Y/N”  
  
Kylo’s voice flowed through your classroom. Your eyes shot up to see him standing in the doorway. The second you locked eyes with him your pulse quickened, and you could feel the pounding in your chest   
  
“Do you have a minute?” He asked. Cool brown eyes taking you in. You nodded, swallowing the bite of your sandwich in your mouth, surprising yourself that you didn’t choke on it. “I hate to do this, but you said that if I needed anything to let you know and we’ve come up short for an event. I was wondering if you could help me out?” He asked, walking towards you.

“Yeah, sure. I mean, of course. What event is it?” You stumbled over yourself to get out the words.

“The music department is taking a group of students to a musical.” He stopped in front of your desk. The action making you lean back to look up at him.

“What musical?” You quirked your eyebrow.

He let out a small laugh. “Wicked.”

Your eyes went wide. “Really?!”

He nodded. “I thought you might feel that way.”

“Wow, so much better than the statue of liberty.” You breathed out. “Uh, yeah. I’ll be there. What day?”

“Saturday. We’re meeting here at 6 pm.” He stated.

“Oh,” you stopped and bit your lip. “I uh.”

“You have something better to do than seeing Wicked for free?” He questioned. You paused for a second, there was no way that he had planned this because of your date. It was a school event, but yet…..

“No. I will be there. Absolutely.” You said. He looked over you for a moment before nodding and walking out.

You grabbed your phone off the desk and texted Rose. 

**03:15: Tell your friend sorry for the short notice, but I’ll actually be busy.**

**Rose: 3:15: Told you!**

**3:15: It’s just a work thing.**

**Rose: 3:16: Sure it is :)**

You smiled down at your phone. You weren’t sure if Kylo had done it on purpose, but you were hoping he did.

5 o’clock on Saturday came around slowly, between your nerves and your excitement you couldn’t sleep very well the night before. Getting ready you did more with your makeup than you usual would and slipped into one of the few nice dresses you borrowed from Rose. Never being to a Broadway show you weren’t sure if you were overdressed, but Rose assured you it was perfect. It was red and stopped just above the knee, its neckline was classy and paired with a pair of tan heals, you were feeling yourself. You made your way to the school and walked towards the bus. You could see a couple of teachers standing outside the buses all dressed up as well, making you sigh in relief.

Before you could even think to say hi to anyone you saw Kylo and almost lost your balance. He was in a black suit with nicer dress shoes than he usually wore. Seeing him outside of his usual teachers outfit made your insides jelly. He looked up from his conversation with a man you knew to be a history teacher and locked eyes with you. It only lasted a second before he looked you up and down. You prayed to whoever was listening that your foundation was covering your now red face.

Before you could think to long about it Poe came bouncing over to you. “Hey! You look great!”

“Thanks Poe.” You gave him a small smile, when you looked back to Kylo he was walking towards you. Poe seemed to notice and gave you a half smile. “I’ll see you there.” He winked before he walked away.

“Hello.” Kylo said, approaching you.

“Hey.” You smiled to him.

“Are you as excited as you were for the statue?” He asked.

“More. It’s also my first time seeing a show on Broadway.” You said.

“A lot of first this week.” He remarked, gesturing towards a bus for you both to get on.

“Well, my first two months living here were spent just getting ready for the school year. It didn’t leave me with a lot of extra free time.” You told him as you sat down on the short bench seat.

This time he sat down next to you right away as the students and other teachers filed on after you. “Well, I’m glad I could be there for so many firsts.”

You knew now there was no way that you were hiding blush that was creeping down your whole body. “Me too.”

Walking in the theater you watched as Poe looked over all the students sitting in the seats, making some adjustments as he knew certain kids from his class would be an issue next to each other. For the most part all the students were just as excited as you. You stood in the isle also making mental note of faces of the students just incase when you felt a hand on your back.

“We’re the row in front of them.” Kylo said guiding you to your seat.

“Wow, I get to sit with the scary science teacher?” You laughed.

“It would appear so.” He smiled as you both sat down. He handed you a glass you didn’t notice he had before.

“Drinking on a class trip?” You raised your eyebrows.

“Everyone deserves to enjoy there first Broadway show.” He winked at you.

“What is it?” You questioned, swirling the liquid in the glass.

“Just try it. You’ll like it.” He gestured for you to take a sip and you did. “So?”

“It’s good.” You said into the glass.

“If you think that’s good, I should take you to try some real wine sometime.” He stated.

You felt the butterflies return as the house lights dimmed and the music started.

At intermission you sat back, not noticing before you were sitting forward in the seat, memorized. When you turned to Kylo you realized he was already watching you.

“Enjoying it?” He asked

“So much.” You smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I need to go check in with the other teachers.” He said standing.

“Should I come?” You asked moving to stand but he put his hand up.

“It’s okay, I got it.” He turned and walked to where Poe had gathered with the other teachers. When he returned, he sat back down and his mood seemed less light than before.

“Does the school do this a lot.” You asked, just trying to break the silence.

“What?” Kylo shifted, looking slightly uncomfortable.

“Take classes to Broadway plays.” You folded your hands in your lap.

“We get a lot of donations and they get spread out through all departments.” He stated flatly and you made a mental note in his change in demeanor.

You were going to ask him about it when the lights started to dim again, and the announcer came on. By time the first notes of the second act started you were agian too mesmerized to even remember what you were talking about. When the show ended, and the lights came up Kylo shot to his feet to tell the students to remain together on their way to the bus. It wasn’t until you were halfway back to the school that he talked to you again. 

“Did you enjoy your first show?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, I loved it. It was great, now I just want to see more.” You said.

He nodded as if not knowing what to say. The rest of the ride remained silent, and when you arrived back at school you both stayed on the bus until all the kids were off. Once you were off, he turned back to you. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He told you, saying your name softly.

Hearing him say your name almost made you forget about his weird behavior the rest of the night. “Thanks, Kylo.”

He shifted, looking down at his feet like he wanted to say something. Instead he just looked back up to you. “I have to head out, but I’ll see you Monday.”

The sting was back in your chest as you forced a smile. “Yeah, I’ll see you.”

Turning to walk back to your car the history teacher you had seen earlier was a beat ahead of you before he turned his head slightly to see you. “Hey, you’re the new teacher right?”

“That’s me!” You chirped before offering him your name.

He stopped to wait for you. “I’m Mitaka. Everyone calls me by last name so, don’t worry about my first.” He joked and you laughed nodding to him. “You just moved here right? Was this your first show?”

“Yep!”

“Did you like it?” He asked.

“I loved it, but it seems a little pricey of a field trip, even for a school that gets so many donations.” You remarked.

“I thought so too.” Mitaka answered. “But the music department was given a donation earlier this week for the tickets.”

You stopped outside your car and turned to look at him. “That’s odd, right?”

He shrugged. “Not really. It has happened before, maybe not so last minute but it does happen.” He opened the door to his own car. “Hey, it was good to finally meet you. Hopefully I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah I’ll see you.” You turned to unlock your car. When you looked across the parking lot Kylo stood next to his car watching you, before getting in and driving away.

“Wait.” Rose said flopping down on the couch in your classroom Monday afternoon. “So, it might be possible that Kylo donated tickets to a Broadway show he knows you like so you would go with him, and not on your date.”

“We don’t know that.” You walked around to sit next to her on the couch. “We still don’t know if he even likes me. Shit, we don’t even know if the man is single.”

Rose looked at you before rolling her eyes. “Single, no we don’t know. But he definitely likes you.”

“You don’t know that.” You shook your head. “And I’m not a homewrecker.”

“No, you’re not but it sure sounds like he does.” She stood from the couch. “Let me know if anything else weird happens and I’ll do some detective work.”

You nodded as she left, sinking into your seat. It was clear whatever she found out, Kylo Ren was about to be a problem, but maybe one you didn't mind having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos i'm glad to know people enjoy it! :)
> 
> Here's an other GIF i do not own for visual purposes. 
> 
> https://www.google.com/search?q=Adam+driver+gif+black+suit&sxsrf=ALeKk01_Wmg_QCqiTdLDGoP2Qzxl4qxYhQ:1590954542236&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwinx9_C797pAhWNKs0KHQZjC28Q_AUoAXoECAsQAw&biw=1366&bih=625#imgrc=RuQcSXDDorKJ3M
> 
> Remember when i said the chapters were going to get longer? Lets all laugh together.  
> They will be getting longer just had to break a couple up just so all these field trips don't blur together. WE GOT ONE MORE FIELD TRIP BEFORE THINGS START HEATING UP SO BUCKLE UP WE'RE GOING ON A TRIP THAT WILL PROBABLY LAND US IN THE LAND OF THE SAD


	5. Hot and Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You decide Kylo needs a taste of his own medicine.

By Wednesday you realized Kylo had a pattern. Be super confusing in person, then disappear for days at a time. If he kept to his strange pattern, you knew he would show up randomly at some point, and today was that day. You sat hunched over your desk again grading papers. You were only aware someone was in your room by the sound of shifting on the couch. Looking up, Kylo sat on the couch, one leg over the other, leaning on the arm while he watched you.

“You know, some people like to make it known they’re in a room.” You joked, finally stretching out your back.

“Some people like to go home by 6pm on a school day.” He said smoothly.

You checked your watch. 6:22pm. “Why haven’t you then?”

“Guess I didn’t realize how late it was.” He smirked.

“Me either.” You muttered out, gathering your stuff.

“I’m sorry to bother you, I just wanted to see if you’re free Friday.” He said. There were the butterflies in your stomach again at his words.

“Uh, yeah. Yes. I am. Why?” You asked.  
  
“There’s a field trip to the history museum that is short chaperones.” He stood and stepped closer to your desk.  
  
You tried not to let your face show the disappointment that he was here for work purposes. “Yeah. I can do that. What time?” You asked opening your calendar on your desk.  
  
“It’s after school, at 3. They’re going to provide a dinner if that helps.” He joked dryly and you forced a small laugh as you wrote it in the small square of your calendar under Friday.  
  
“It’s really no problem. I would have just been here grading.” You said closing the calendar back up and putting it in your top desk drawer.  
  
“Well, thank you anyways.” He gave you a nod before turning to leave, this time he didn’t look back.

An hour later you paced around your apartment with Rose on speaker.  
  
“No.” She groaned through the phone. “No. This cycle has to stop. You need to get answers out of this man.”  
  
“I know! I know.” You sighed walking into the kitchen to pull chicken strips out of the oven. “But I can’t just say ‘hey did you donate the school tickets to a Broadway show just to ruin my date’ or ‘Do you keep asking be to come to these things just to have an excuse to hang out with me’ you know?”  
  
“That is a good point.” She clicked her tongue. “But you need to look at the facts. Aside from the part where he may have spent a good chunk of change to keep you from a date, he hasn’t asked you to go on any field trips short chaperones that he wouldn’t be on. That calls for at least some kind of explanation.”

“And if that’s not the case and I look like a complete idiot.” You turned back to look at the phone.

“Well, then, just ask him why he’s so hot and cold all the time. That’s a broad enough question.” She stated. You turned off the oven and stared at the phone, but she said nothing else.

“You know what.” You said putting the strips on a plate. “Two can play this game, tomorrow I’m going ignore him slyly. That way if he seeks me out it will be obvious that he had too.”  
  
“Fighting fire with fire?” She asked, eating chips loudly into the phone.  
  
“Sometimes you have too.” You shrugged to yourself.  
  
“Just don’t get yourself burned.” She stated and you sighed running a hand over your face. You weren’t sure if you were quite ready for the burn.

  
  
  
After school the next day you hurried out of your class to the same buses you’d been in to many times this month. It was still warm, but not as hot as it had been. You hurried onto one of the buses filling with kids before Kylo walked out of the school. When he came out, he stopped talking to Mitaka who stood outside with the clip board of names. While they talked Kylo looked around, trying to see into the buses. You slid down into the seat just enough that you didn’t look incredibly crazy to the students but Kylo couldn’t see you from outside the bus.  
  
The only disadvantage was that you couldn’t see the bus door and had to hold your breath you wouldn’t get caught like this. You thought you were in the clear when the bus started up, until a pair of dress shoes came into your line of vision. You let out your breath when you looked up to find Mitaka looking down at you.  
  
“Comfortable?” He joked sliding in next to you.  
  
“Can anyone be comfortable in these seats.” You joked hoping he wouldn’t ask more questions, but he just laughed.  
  
“Have you been to the history Museum before?” He asked.  
  
“No. I really haven’t been anywhere that wasn’t a field trip.” You answered, slyly peering over the seat in front of you to watch Kylo walk onto the other bus.  
  
Mitaka caught what you were doing. “Oh, don’t worry I told him you were accounted for.”  
  
 _Shit_. “Thanks.” You forced a small smile to him.  
  
You learned that Mitaka was not much of a talker during your bus ride. That was fine with you, giving you more time to over think the situation was Kylo. It wasn’t until the bus stopped in front of the Museum that you realized you had no plan of avoiding this man. You saw him staying on his bus to watch the students leaving, so you made the quick choice to get off your own bus with Mitaka and all but run inside the museum to ‘line the kids up’.  
  
You saw the last of the students trickling in before you saw Kylo walk through the door but you turned quickly so he wouldn’t catch you looking at him. You stayed to the front of the group chatting with a few students as a guide led you into the main room. Once everyone was there, the guide started the tour. Walking through the long halls you were glad that no one asked you a question about what was being said because although your eyes stayed forward you kept your ears open for the hard sound of dress shoes against the student’s soft gym shoes.

“Having fun?” Mitaka asked from next to you, causing you to jump at his sudden appearance.

“Yes, thank you.” You gave him a smile.

“Well, you could have fooled me.” He joked.

“Whys that?” You questioned, turning with the class into the hallway for the next room.

“You look like you’re not really here right now.” He held the door open for you and some students before coming to follow you again. “Listen, you don’t have to tell me anything just know, my doors always open.”

You laughed honestly at him and smiled. “Well Thank you, Mr. Mitaka.”

“Shit, that was really corny huh?” He laughed.

“It’s okay, we all do it.” You assured him before turning to listen to the tour guide again.

You kept your guard up through every room, always having a sense of where Kylo was and staying away. It wasn’t until the group made their way into the traveling Pompeii exhibit that you truly were paying attention to the artifacts and history around you. Once the tour guide gave everyone free roam of the exhibit you walked around looking at the photos on a large wall. You stared at a photo of two people, in hardened ash, holding each other forever and you let your mind wonder to what their lives were like, what their day was like that day. So much so you hadn’t realized someone had come to stand next to you.  
  
“Pompeii historian, are you?” Kylo asked. 

“It’s just so sad.” You softly before remembering your plan.

“How so?” He asked just as softly.

You shrugged without looking at him before turning to walk away.  
  
He said your name as he grabbed your wrist. “Are you okay?”  
  
“I’m fine.” You said taking your arm from his grasp.  
  
“Have I done something to upset you?” He asked taking a step closer.  
  
“How could you have done that? You’ve barley talk to me since Wicked.” You said lowly before going to turn again. Kylo grabbed you again, stopping you in your tracks.

“You are mad at me.” He stated turning you away from the groups that wondered the room.

“Duh dude.” You rolled your eyes.  
  
“I.” He started. Looking frustrated he ran a hand through his hair. “I apologize. I’m not good at this.”  
  
“Good at what?” You asked.  
  
“At having people around me, and I’m not use to wanting someone around me.” He kept his face hard as stone.  
  
“Well, you can’t want to be friends one minutes then ignore me the next. You can’t be hot and cold towards me or disappear for days at a time. That’s not fair to me.” You told him, watching the hurt look on his face that you couldn’t quiet place.  
  
“Do you want to eat dinner with me?” He asked.

His sudden question caught you off guard. “What?”

“We’re halfway through, that means they’re about to serve us dinner. It probably tastes like hospital food, but do you want to eat with me?” He looked over your face as if he could get your answer before you said it.  
  
You groaned. “Fine.”  
  
“Yeah?” A small smile played on his lips.  
  
“Yeah.” You said.  
  
“Well then, after you.” He gestured for you to follow the group.

You both walked into the small cafeteria styled room. Although you were pleasantly surprised to find 40 or so boxes of Pizza waiting for you instead of whatever Kylo had assumed they were having. Taking a couple slices you both settled in the corner of the room to stay out of ear shot of the students but still be able to watch them.

“So now what?” You asked biting into your pizza.

“Tell me about you. Friends know about each other, right?” He stated, eating his own slices.

“Well, there’s not much to tell. I was raised by my grandmother in Ohio. I lived my whole life there until a graduated high school. That was until I received a full ride to UCLA and went there. Graduated, got my master’s in Education while working through school. I found the listing for the job here online, interviewed with Snoke and here I am.” You finished taking another bite of pizza not missing the way Kylo’s eye slightly twitched at the mention of Snoke.

“You seem young to have so much under your belt.” He replied.

“Yeah, I started college early.” You adverted your gaze, knowing the look that followed when you usual said that.

Instead he smoothly replied. “Impressive.”

“Yeah?” You looked back to him.

“No one’s told you that was impressive before?” He questioned wiping his hands on his napkin.

“Well, my grandma, but most of my aunts and uncles and their kids were jealous and everyone in college didn’t care.” You shrugged.

“Well, it is very impressive.” He said and it made you smile to yourself. You sat silently for a moment, wondering if asking about him was a good idea but since he asked you to be here you decided to give it a try.

“What about you?” You asked going for the second slice on your plate.

“I went to school here. Got my master’s in Science Education as well as Psychology, which I teach on Saturdays by the way, and that’s about it.” He took his last bite of pizza.

“Your wife must miss you since you’re so busy all the time.” You slid in.

Kylo choked on his food slightly. “What?”

“Oh, sorry I just meant you’re at school late all the time and you said you teach on Saturdays so you must not be home a lot.” You clarified.

“I’m not married, I think that required dating and historically I do not do that." He replied.

At first you felt relief, but than the latter half of his sentence gave you that sting in your chest. Before you could ask anymore questions the tour guide came back into the room. “I hope everyone enjoyed the pizza! If you could all clean up your areas and follow me, we have much more to see today.”

And that’s exactly what you did. You and Kylo walked through the rest of the exhibits in comfortable silence until the tour was over and you got all the kids back on the bus. Riding back you didn’t talk much either. Once you got back to the school and all the kids got picked up it was just you two left standing on the sidewalk.

“Thanks again for doing these so last minute.” He said walking you both to your cars.

“It’s really no problem.” You unlocked your car. “I like going.”

“I like when you go.” He said, and you blushed slightly. “well,” he ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Yeah, see you Monday.” You slid into your car and watched him walk over to his own. As you drove away you felt successful about your day with Kylo, but the closer you got to your house you realized you now were more confused than before.

Saturday morning you woke up to your phone ringing loudly against your nightstand. Blindly you felt around the table until you found it. Voice groggy with sleep you didn’t bother to look who it was.  
  
“Hello?” You croaked out.  
  
“Baby girl! Did I wake you?”  
  
“Cassian?” You pulled the phone back look at the screen. “Yeah you woke me up it’s 7am on a Saturday.”  
  
“Aw. Boo-hoo.” He teased.  
  
Cassian Andor was an up and coming director, and your college ex-boyfriend. Sort of. You two had been in theater classes together in college for 3 years until you dropped that as a minor. Although you spent a lot of time together, made plans for the future and did all the boyfriend/ girlfriend things you’d never actually gotten together. Once you dropped the minor you both had slowly parted ways, but remained friends through the years.  
  
With the phone pressed tight to your ear you could hear loud traffic and people talking behind him. A very familiar sound to you by now.  
  
“Are you in New York?” You asked.  
  
“Surprise!” He yelled into the phone causing you to pull your phone from your ear again. “I’m here. Lets get dinner tonight!”  
  
“If you stop yelling!”  
  
“I will whisper.” He laughed. “I’ll send you the address, we can meet up there.”  
  
“Okay, yeah. That sounds good.” You laid back down.  
  
“I’m really excited to see you.” You could hear his smile in the phone. It made you smile too.  
  
“You too Cassian.” You said before hanging up the phone.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's stir the pot a little, shall we?


	6. Just friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of dinners, some lunches and a special wine.

7pm on the dot you slowly walked into a small Italian restaurant. Already receiving a text from Cassian that he had gotten a table, you made your way to the hostess.  
  
“Hi. I’m meeting Cassian Andor.” You said to her.  
  
“Oh yes. He said he was waiting for someone, please follow me.” She led you through the restaurant to his table.  
  
He yelled your name as you got closer and standing, earning a few glancing from others littered around you. He gave you a small kiss on the cheek before pulling out your chair. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too Cassian.” You gave him a small smile.

“Tell me, how are you?” He asked waving over a waiter, which you internally cringed. Although Cassian was your friend, sometime he was arrogant.  
  
“I’m really great. Stressed but great.” You stated as the waiter approached the table.  
  
“Teaching the leaders of tomorrow not all you thought it would be?” He laughed and the waiter took your orders.

After ordering dinner you turned back to him and smiled. “Is this for me?” You ask pointing to the wine glass.  
  
“Your favorite.” Cassian smiled.  
  
“So,” you took a long drink. “Tell me. Why are you here?”  
  
Cassian played hurt. “What? A friend can’t miss another friend and come visit her?”  
  
“Cassian, we haven’t talked in 6 months. I think you would have wanted to talk if you missed me so much.” You raised a questioning eyebrow at him.  
  
“Okay, fine. You got me. I’m filming here for the next 6 weeks, but I did want to see you.” He smirked and you ignored it.  
  
“Like an actual movie?” You questioned.  
  
“Yes! I’m directing an actual movie.” He beamed.  
  
“Wow. Cass, that’s awesome. I’m really happy for you.” And you were. You knew how hard he worked in school and he deserved it.

“Enough about me and all my success,” He smirked. “tell me about you!”

And you did. All through dinner you told him about your move here and asked how he knew where you were. Which of course was through the group of college friends you spoke to occasionally. Then you asked all about how he got to direct this movie and what it was about. One full meal and an other glass of wine later there was nothing else to be said.

“You look really happy, I’m happy for you.” He said.

“Thanks, I am too.” You smiled. “Now, can we get some cake?” You laughed and he agreed.

“I haven’t heard you mention any men.” He raised an eyebrow.

“There are none to mention.” You shrugged.  
  
As the words came out of your mouth the cake plate hit the table in between you, to your surprise so did a third glass of wine.  
  
“Oh no there’s a mistake I didn’t order this.” You tried handing it back to the waiter, but he just smiled and shook his head.  
  
“No. That gentleman over there send it over.” He pointed to a small round booth in the corner of the room. Three men sat there chatting quietly and you almost rolled your eyes until they landed on the one staring at you. It felt like an out of body experience. There sat Kylo Ren, whiskey in hand, smirking at you from across the room. He tilted the rim of his glass at you with a nod before returning to his conversation.  
  
Cassian turned to look at who you were unintentionally smiling at. “Who’s that?”  
  
“A co-worker.” You replied taking a sip of the wine. It was the wine from the Broadway show. White, tangy. It made you warm all over, even more so knowing he was here, and he sent you it.  
  
“A co-working sending you glass of wine?” Cassian looked back at Kylo.  
  
“Well, I mean. We’re friends.” You mumbled looking to Kylo. Once more finding his eyes and the butterflies in your stomach started up.  
  
“Oh. There we go.” Cassian sighed.  
  
“What?” You asked flatly, looking back to him.  
  
“I’ve been your _friend_ once too.” Cassian joked. Tilting his head back to laugh as you playful and silently slapped his hand on the table. “Hey. You know I’m right.”  
  
You took a bite of the fudge cake. “Yeah but No. It’s not like that.”  
  
“That dumb smile on your face tells me you wish it was though.” Cassian took a bite of your cake.  
  
“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m in a place to start dating right now.” You shoved another bite of cake in your mouth.  
  
“There it is.” Cassian shook his head.  
  
“What does that mean?” You asked a little too loud.  
  
“Look, I love you. You know that, But you always keep your romantic relationships at arm’s length. You did with me and you did with that poor sad guy senior year.”  
  
“Boba.” You stated.  
  
“Yeah. That poor shmuck. He never stood a chance.” Cassian tried to reach for the cake but you pulled it back.  
  
“Mean people don’t get cake.” You said.  
  
“Oh, come on. I am not being mean. I’m being truthful. Just, maybe you need to let yourself fully open up to someone. It’s not a bad thing.” He said, jabbing at the plate with his fork.

“I don’t think he feels that way.” You mumbled into the cake.

“If that’s true then he is insane.” Cassian rubbed a small circle on your arm, and you smiled at him. “But I can tell you from the way he’s shooting daggers at me for touching you, I don’t think him not liking you is the issue here.” He laughed and so did you.

After you were done and the bill was paid you both stood to leave. Walking out onto the street, you and Cassian parted way, promising to get together at least once more before he left New York. You stood on the corner debating between walking back to your house or taking a cab. You didn’t have long to decide before the deep voice you loved to hear was behind you.  
  
“Your date didn’t make sure you got home? Hope he’s not getting a second one.” Kylo came to stand next to you.  
  
You shook your head, both at his question and to get a grip on yourself. “Not a date, just catching up with a college friend.”  
  
“College ex?” Kylo stepped into the street and halting a cab.  
  
“Kind of I guess.” You mumbled.   
  
Kylo gestured for you to get into the cab, putting his hand on the small of your back. Once you were in, he slid in next to you. Putting his hand on your knee he leaned forward to give the driver your address. When he leaned back in the seat he didn’t move his hand.  
  
“So.” He cleared his throat. “How is someone kind of your ex?”  
  
“Well, we never really got together. It wasn’t like I met his family on holidays or even met them honestly. We were friends with the same friends and just were a thing on and off for about three years. But I was never in a place to put something before my work.” You explained.  
  
“Is that a big thing for you, in a relationship?” Kylo’s face was stone, not indicating any emotion. You looked at him confused. “Meeting someone’s family.” He clarified.  
  
“Oh, no. It was just an example really. I don’t have much family myself, so I understand there’s different situations.” You shrugged.  
  
Kylo nodded while he started tapping his fingers against your knee. Each tap was electric against your skin. Sending little pulses straight to your core as the heat grew in your lower belly.  
  
“What about you?” You asked, trying to distract yourself. “Any complicated relationships?”  
  
“I was never one for those. I had a lot of short-term situations like what yours sounds to be, but attachments weren’t ever for me.” Kylo stared out the cab window and you tried to swallow the sadness his words brought as you nodded to no one in understanding.  
  
The cab pulled in front of your house and Kylo opened the door to step out. Giving you his hand as to help you out. Despite everything you had just gathered from the previous conversation you turned to him before walking inside. “Do you want to come in for coffee?”  
  
Kylo looked you up and down before looking to your door. He stared out for a couple seconds before he replied. “Rain check.”  
  
You nodded to him and pulled your house key from your purse. As he got back into the cab you walked into your house alone.

Monday morning dragged on with nothing but Kylo’s mixed signals burning through your mind. Lucky for you a distraction came in the form of an email from Poe asking if you’d meet him in his room after school. So once your last class flied out you made your way down to his room, knocking on the open door.

“Hello?” You called not seeing him.

“Hey, Y/N.” He called from under his desk.

“What are you doing?” You asked, laughing as you walked to his desk.

“Oh, I jammed some papers in this damn drawer and I couldn’t get it open.” He sighed sitting in his chair.

You shook your head at him. “What can I do for you?”

“We have a mutual student I need help with.” He said walking around the desk. “James Carter.”

“Oh yeah I have him in my last bell. He seems like a quiet, nice kid. He can’t be giving you trouble.” You asked, slightly shocked.

“No, the opposite. I don’t think he’s making friends. I’ve been trying to get him to sing a solo in the show case, his voice, Y/N. His voice is unbelievable. I need you to talk to him, try to encourage him to come do the show case.” He begged.

“Okay, yeah. I’ll see what I can do.” You agree

The next day at school you waited all day until the last class. Going over in your head what you would say to James. When the bell rang for the end of the day your stomach turned slightly.

“James can you hang back a minute.” You asked before he slipped out the door.

His face whitened slightly as his eyes went round and he nodded walking back towards your desk.

Once you were sure everyone had made their way down the hall you started. “I heard Mr. Dameron asked you to sing solo in the show case.”

“Yes ma’am.” He said.

“And I heard you’ve turned that down.” You said.

“Yes ma’am.” He said again.

“Can I ask why?” You asked and he shrugged. “Well there has to be a reason.”

“People will make fun of me.” He said quietly.

“Why do you think that?” You asked him.

“Because everyone makes fun of guys that sing.” He shrunk into himself.

“I think guys that can sing are cool.” You stated. 

He perked up slightly at that. “Really?”

“Yeah! Mr. Dameron is a guy who can sing and I think he’s super cool.” You told him and he smiled.

“Yeah, Mr. Dameron is pretty cool. Would you help me? If I agree could you help me?” He asked with the biggest puppy dog eyes.

“I would be happy too.” You smiled at him. He seemed content with that and gave you a big smile before he left.

“First problem is a win for me.” You said out loud to no one .

You returned to your desk to grade the stack of papers that awaited you. After getting through 3/4th the stack you leaned your head back on your chair as you you stared at the ceiling before you closed your eyes. Staying like that as you hummed to yourself.

“This is becoming a habit for you.” Kylo’s voice rang through your room, jolting you in your chair.

“Jesus!” You yelled.

“I apologize.” He said stepping into the room. “It is late.”

You checked your watch. 6:40pm. “I guess it is.” You sighed.

“Workload already catching up?” He asked coming to lean on the edge of the couch by your desk.

“You know, it hadn’t occurred to me when you assign 5 classes of 9 to 15 kids writing assignments twice a week, that I would have to read 130 two-page papers a week and grade them.” 

“Yeah, that’s the catch.” Kylo laughed. “I came by yesterday after school, but you weren’t here.”

“Oh, Yeah. Poe needed my help. Student issue.” You stated and he pressed his lips into a thin line.

“No plans tonight?”

“You’re looking at it.” You gestured to the stack of papers before you started to put them into your bag.

Kylo shifted his feet slightly. “Are you hungry?”

You looked back up to him. He looked slightly uncomfortable even asking. “Oh, you don’t have to do that just because I have no social life.” You joked and started picking up your bags to go home.

“Come on, I know I good place right around the corner. It’s on me.” He led you both out into the hallway and down the stairs.

“Fine, but only because I can’t turn down free food.” You teased. Kylo chuckled, holding the door open for you.  
  


The two of you walked in silence until you reached the place Kylo was leading you too. It was a small burger restaurant with dim lighting. He gestured to a booth in the back and you slid into of the seats. The waitress came and took your order, surprisingly Kylo ordered you both Whiskeys and then she took your food order and left. Once she brought your drinks and food you told him about James and the fall show case you were going to help Poe and Finn with. He eventually told you about a trip he had coming up for a continued education course.

“Can I ask you a question.” Kylo asked sitting back in his seat.

“I guess.” You shrugged.

“Why do you own a car if you walk most places?” He rolled the whiskey in his glass.

“You do the same thing, do you not.” You asked.

“I suppose, but I travel outside the city quite often.” He stated.

You watched him for a second, deciding if you should give him a bit of your truth or not. “It was the first thing I could by on my own. I drove it from Ohio to La, then LA to here. I guess I keep it in case I ever feel the need to leave, plus it’s nice to drive in air conditioning in the summer most days but mostly a reminded I am capable of doing big things on my own."

He watched you for a long moment before he asked. “Do you feel like you will want to leave?”

“Not right now, no.” You shook your head and you could swear you saw a small smile on his lips.

After you both finished eating, the waitress came with the check and took Kylo’s card.

“Why did you assume I was married?” He asked looking up from his glass.

“Oh, um.” You took a drink from yours. “If I might be so blunt?” You questioned waiting for an approval. He gave you a nod, taking his own glass to his lips. “You’re smart, well educated. You’re clearly a gentleman. You’re attractive, in both ways I mean.”

“Both ways?” He asked.

“Yeah, I mean. You’re a cute guy with a good build. Also, you seem well involved. When people talk you really listen. You have a good, stable job. That’s hitting every mark on the checklist for husband material.” You took another drink to stop your ramble.

Kylo smiled. “Interesting, anything else?”

You pretended to think for a second. “Oh, and you’re tall. Woman _really_ like tall guys.”

Kylo smiled at that agreeing. “Well, like I said. That would require dating, which I have a history of not doing.”

You sip your drink to hide the frown you’re sure was on your face.

Kylo’s eyes slightly darken under the already dim room. “What about you?”

“What about me?” You asked taking another drink as you felt your chest tighten.

“Do you like tall?” He questioned and you almost spit your drink out. Luckily the waitress came back with his card. Kylo stared at your blushed face for one second before finishing his drink and standing up. “Come on, it’s dark, I’ll walk you home.”

You nodded as you got to your feet and grabbed your bags. The walk was silent again. You weren’t sure what his question even meant, but you couldn’t shake the blush from your face. You couldn’t move your mouth to even resume another conversation as you led Kylo a couple blocks away to your front door.

“Well, this is me.” You finally said reaching the steps. “Thank you again for dinner, I had a nice time.”

“I’m glad. I did too.” He agreed.

“We should do it again sometime.” You said, trying your best to sound casual.

“Maybe next time you work late again.” He said.  
  
“Oh if that’s the case, you’re going to be eating dinner with me a lot.” You joked.

Kylo smirked for a second but said nothing.

“Well.” You rocked on your feet. “Have a good night Kylo.” You stood staring up at him.

He stared back at you. Eyes intense, and for a split second you watched him look down at your lips before he turned to your eyes. Your whole body buzzed, hoping. Without another look he took a step back from you and tilted his head. “You as well.”

You watched as he walked down the street and disappeared around the corner. Maybe you had been reading that situation wrong. Kylo had plenty of options in this city and he really was just looking for a friend. You unlocked your door. Shedding your heals and coat at the door. Dropping your bags on the steps as you passed into the kitchen.

If Kylo wanted to be friends, then you’d do just that.

And so friends you were. The remainder of the week Kylo came to eat lunch in your room after realizing your breaks were the same. At the beginning of the week he came empty handed and just sat and listened to you rant about work, or students or your family which you barley spoke too. Thurday you brought him food with yours and he seemed surprised.

“What? No ones ever brought you food before?” You laughed as he stared at the bag reached out to him.

“No.” He stated flatly but took the bag anyways.

“Well, consider it selfish. I can’t keep eating everyday in front of you while you stare, so.” You smiled sinking back into your desk.

He finally did too. “If you insist.”

You ate in mostly silence for a while before he spoke up again. “Why did the picture at the museum make you sad?”

“Oh.” His question caught you off guard and you had to think back. “I just think it’s incredibly emotional in the moment they knew would be there last they reached for each other.”

“and that makes you sad?”

“What makes me sad is the end of possibility. Who knows what their life together could have been, or what it was. They had each other right there, and it was taken with no fault of their own.” You looked at your sandwich, no longer able to hold his intense gaze but he said nothing else, so you decided to change the subject.  
“Oh, shoot I forgot to tell you. I can’t eat lunch with you tomorrow. I promised James I would help him.” You said. Kylo’s face hardened immediately and you tried to understand why. “You know I just told him I’d help him with his song for the show case and he starts robotics club after school today so we can’t do it then.”

“I’m sorry, who is this.” Kylo said, but it didn’t sound like a question.

“James Carter. He’s a freshman, I told you about him the other day remember?” You asked.

Kylo’s face lightened. “Ah, okay.”

“Did you think I was having lunch date with someone?” You laughed and Kylo shot you a look. “Don’t worry, all my lunches are reserved for one cranky male as is. I don’t need any more testosterone than this.” You joked.

“I had a question for you.” He asked, staying serious. You nodded, taking a bite of your food. “Could you come to my house Saturday to help me with this project I’m working on?”

“Sure, what exactly do you need to do?” You asked.

“Paint. Three rooms exactly.”

You laughed. “Oh, so now I’m doing free manual labor?”

“I have alcohol.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Fine. I’ll be there at 11?” You asked.

“Sounds great.” He smiled, and you tried to choked down the butterflies coming up with the rest of your lunch as you reminded yourself you’re just friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Googles "What is a fancy white wine" for coming chapters and because all i buy is barefoot or whatever is under $10 lol. 
> 
> Next up! you head to Kylo's :)


	7. Home improvement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go to Kylo's house to help him paint and end up to drunk to go home.

Saturday morning at 10:55 you stared up at a house smushed between two other houses similar to yours. Standing on the front step in yoga pants and an old band tee, you knocked on the door, that was met by a yell to come in. Stepping in you realized it was much bigger inside than it looked. Walking through the house you followed the sound of hammering to the back yard. Kylo was leaned over a most built deck, and if that wasn’t impressive enough, he was in jeans. Just jeans, completely shirtless. You stopped inside the back door watching him until he turned around to meet you.

“Is it eleven already?” He asked wiping the back of his hand across his forehead.

“Just about!” You replied turning back into the house when he stood to walk in with you. “You build that deck yourself?”

“Oh, yeah. Want some water?” He opened the fridge.

“Yeah, thanks. That’s impressive! The deck I mean. I didn’t know you were so handy.” You took the bottle from him.

“Thanks.” He smiled.

“So uh, paint?” You looked around but found none.

“Oh, yeah. Let me shower and we’ll go.” He turned to walk down a hallway.

“Go?” You questioned.

“Yeah, go get the paint.” He called behind him.

“Oh, I didn’t know we were picking it out.” You replied.

“No, we aren’t. You are. I have no idea what to do with this place.” He poked his head out of what you assumed was the bathroom. “If that’s okay.”

“Yeah, no. I’ve just never picked paint for someone else house before.” You laughed. “What rooms?”

“The master, the living room and the kitchen.” He said from the bathroom.

“Let me just look around and get some ideas.” You said.

He pointed to a room at the end of the hall and nodded before shutting the door.

You roamed around the bare kitchen and living room. The only pieces of furniture being an old white kitchen table with four chairs and two tan couches. A large bookshelf lined the back wall filled with old texts books and old novels. All seemed to be read through many times, but your eyes still on the original copy of the Great Gatsby in perfect condition. A stark contrast of all the torn books. You stared at it, wanting to touch it, turn it over in your hands and breath in the old book smell but you didn’t want to ruin how beautiful it looked there. Instead you turned to go down the hall to the room Kylo had pointed too.

Walking into the master bedroom you were shocked. A massive bed sat against the far wall, with a long matching wood dresser at the foot. A tv sat alone on the wall. You saw a door on the other side left opened and you walked over to find a walk-in closet. Stepping inside you smiled at what had to be 50 different versions of his ‘teacher outfit’, then about the same number of suits. Surprising to you, you found a bunch of flannels and t-shirts folded on shelves around the top of the closet.

You heard Kylo come out of the bathroom, into the bedroom, and shut the door. You walked out of the closet.

“Hey, I really think if you did grey in the – OH MY GOD.” You stopped when Kylo entered your line of vision. He was complete naked, toweling his hair with his back to you. You must have startled him as much as he startled you because without a thought he wiped around. You couldn’t help what happened next but it a split second you looked down before realizing what you were doing. Once you did you covered your eyes. “I AM SO SORRY.” You yelled through your hands, face beat red. You had seen a hand full of naked males in your day, but none that large.

“No, no, no.” He stammered out. “I should have made sure you were in the living room, hang on just let me.” You heard the drawers opening and closing and the rustle of clothes. “Okay. There, you can look.”

When you peaked through your hands he had put on jeans and was struggling with a long sleeve tee. “I am so, so sorry.” You said again.

“I’m sure you’ve seen one before, it’s fine. It’s my fault too.” He said slipping on the shirt. “Do uh, do you want to just go get the paint and never speak of this again?”

You nodded your head frantically. “Yep, lets do that.”

But you most defiantly would not be forgetting _that._

At the paint store you tried to remain as focused as possible but neither of you had yet to look each other in the eyes. You gathered from Kylo that he was willing to put whatever furniture you thought would look nice, so paint color was easy for you to pick. A nice grey for the living room, tan for the bedroom and a nice bright yellow for the kitchen. After picking up all the supplies you thought you’d need you drove back to his house in silence. Walking in, you put the extra supplies in the corner then put the drop cloths around the floor in the living room, not wanting to start in the bedroom just yet.

Kylo walked into the living room with to heavily poured glasses of wine. “We’re making this weird, aren’t we?”

“Yes, I think we are.” You laughed.

“How do we stop doing that?” He asked.

“I think we just start drinking and painting.” You set the glass down on the covered coffee table.

He nodded handing you a Bluetooth speaker. “Here. Connect your phone, I’m going to put back on my work clothes.”

After putting your music on shuffle, you poured the paint into the pans and set to rolling it on the walls. Once Kylo came back he grabbed the other roller and joined you. You worked in silence at first, but after a glass and a half of wine and most of the living room was done you both settled between light conversation and your soft humming. It took about 6 hours of painting to finish all three rooms and almost two bottles of wine. Through your tipsy haze you leaned back against the kitchen counter, covered in paint admire the yellow kitchen. It was so out of place in Kylo Ren’s house that it made you smile.

“Proud of yourself?” Kylo ask, handing you yet another glass of wine.

“I like it.” You smiled at him.

“I never liked yellow.” He looked around before looking back to you. “But I think it’s growing on me.” He stood staring at you for a beat as you tried to will the red not to creep onto your cheeks. “I’m going to order some dinner, what do you want?”

“Tacos.” You stated in a voice that gave him no room to argue.

“Taco’s it is. Do you want to use my shower? I can grab you some clothes.” He asked already making his way to his room.

“Thanks!” You called down the hall, sipping whatever glass of wine you were on.

He placed a towel and clothes in the bathroom for you and left you to it. Stepping into his shower you noted how great his water pressure was compared to yours. You used his shampoo and conditioner noting it was not one of those 2 in 1’s. Taking his bar of soap you lathered it up when the smell hit you. Wintergreen spice you never noticed it on him before but now it would be hard not too. After you stepped out you dried off and put on the clothes he had left you and they smelled the same with a far hint of something smokey. Putting your paint covered clothes over the back deck you nodded to him taking your wine glass back from the kitchen, which he had topped off.

“I’m going to get one too.” He stated walking into the bathroom.

“I’ll make sure I stay out here this time!” You yelled and heard him laugh before the door closed.

While he showered you turned the music up on your phone. Dancing around the kitchen and living room until the food got there, the you placed it on the coffee table, continuing to dance and sing around the living room. It wasn’t until you turned to go back to the kitchen that realized Kylo was leaning on the wall outside the hallway watching you.

“Having fun?” He walked towards you.

“What? You don’t dance?” You danced ridiculously in front of him.

“Not to this.” He pointed to the speaker playing some pop song.

Without hesitation you handed him your phone, open on the music screen. “let’s see it then.”

“I don’t know.” He shifted from one foot to the other.

“Boo! Come on, who are you trying to impress? No one can see you.” You teased and his eyes flashed something you couldn’t read. Finally, he scrolled through your music landing on a song he shot you a wicked smile as he turned to speaker up louder. Without warning, and to your surprise Elvis rang through the living room and a second Kylo pulled you to him and started making you waltz around the room. If you were sober enough you might have made something of this, but your drunk brain could only giggle and follow his movements around the room.

Once the song was done, he spun you around and let go, laughing you fell to the floor and laid on your back. “See, I knew you could dance!”

“Dance? I never danced, your drunk.” He joked turning the music back down.

“You’re secrets safe with me.” You said, half crawling to the taco’s you left laid out, climbing on the couch. You chomped down on the hard shells, to tried and too much alcohol in you to care what you looked like anymore. Kylo ate, sitting next to you on the couch. He watched as you slowly sway back and forth, to the music or from alcohol, he couldn’t tell. Neither could you.

“I think you need to stay here tonight.” Kylo stated.

“I didn’t drive.” You stated, forcing your eyes to stay open. 

“You think you can walk like this?” He asked.

“Listen. I’ll sleep it off and then wake up and go home.” You said.

“Whatever you say.” He chuckled and you slowly laid down on the couch.

You laid your head on his thigh, not realizing how stiff his body got when you did. “Wake me up in an hour.”

“I’ll be sure to do that.” He said softly and the last thing you thought you felt before you drifted off was Kylo fingers running through your hair.

Bright light stirred you awake. As you stretched the sleep from your body you realized you were on silk. You smiled as you felt it rub against what skin was exposed on your body, blissfully unaware of the situation you were in. You went to turn your body when you realized you were held in place by an arm over your waist and your legs wrapped in another pair. Your eyes shot open once you realized you were in fact not in your bed. You were met with Kylo’s bare chest an inch from your nose. Slowly you looked up and realized he was still sleeping. Holding your breath, you unraveled your legs from his and slowly slid out of the bed to run into the bathroom.

Splashing water on your face you looked at yourself in the mirror. All your clothes were on and nothing felt sore or sticky so that was a start. You tried to remember anything past laying down on the couch, but you couldn’t. Once you thought you were calm enough you slipped out of the bathroom and listened. You could still hear Kylo’s soft but heavy breaths, indicating he was asleep. Against all logic in your brain you grabbed your purse, put on your shoes and slipping out the door. Speed walking towards your house you reached into your bag and pulled out your phone. Looking for Roses number to FaceTime her once you reached your door.

“Hello?” Rose’s sleepy voice came through.

“Rose, thank god!” You sighed as you stepped into your house.

“What?! Are you okay?” She asked finally looking at the screen. “Oh my god, did you spend the night at a guys house? Are you still in his clothes?!” She sat up in her bed. Looking down you realized you were still in Kylo’s t-shirt and sweatpants. “Oh, my god.” She said realizing. “Did you stay at Kylo fucking Ren’s house?!” She yelled into the phone and someone next to her groaned. You gave her a look, raising an eyebrow. “No. No.” She said leaving her bedroom. “This is about you sleeping with Kylo Ren.”

“I did not say that.” You said sinking onto your couch. “Nothing happened. We painted his house.”

“You look hung over.” She stated.

“There were some drinks involved.” You said.

“And you woke up……..” She waited for you.

“In his bed.” You mumbled.

“And he was……” She waited again.

“In his bed too.” You said.

“And you were touching or……” She stared at you and all you could do was nod. “This is amazing.” She laughed.

“Oh yeah? Should we go back into your bedroom and see who’s there?” You asked and she stopped laughing.

“What did he say when you guys woke up?” She asked.

“I kind of left before he woke up.” You said and she laughed again.

“This is better than anything I could have asked for.” She started pouring her coffee. "You walked out on Kylo Ren." 

"I." You started to argue but you realized you did do exactly that.

“You need to call this man, or at least talk to him tomorrow.” Rose stated sipping from her mug.

“I won’t be there tomorrow, Doctors appointment. Which reminds me I need to find something for the sub.” You got up to get your computer.

“Well, whenever you talk to him you need to call me.” She said. “And then I will tell you who is in my bed.” She winked before she hung up.

You sat staring at the wall, wondering if you should call Kylo now, or later, but you didn’t have long to think about it before there was a knock at your door.  
Opening the door Cassian stood on your doorstep, smiling at you with that cocky smile of his. “Hello again.” He said as he stepped past you to enter your house.

“Yeah sure, come on in.” You muttered shutting the door.

“Nice outfit.” He smirked at you.

“What are you doing here?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Oh, come on. I can’t come see my only friend in the city?” He walked over to your kitchen, taking a water from the fridge.

“How did you even find out where I lived.” You followed him into the kitchen.

“I asked around.” He sat at your kitchen table, leaning back in the chair.

“You called my grandma, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

“She always loved me.” He smirked again and you fought the urge to slap it off. You were in the mood for this right now.

“I’ll ask again. What are you doing here?” You leaned back against the wall.

“I just wanted to see if you were still up for dinner. Next Saturday is my last free night here.”

“You could’ve just called.” You stated.

“Then I wouldn’t get to see your amazing new place.” He looked around the small kitchen and living room.

“If we weren’t friends for almost 7 years, I may consider getting a restraining order for this.” You joked. “Yeah, next Saturday’s fine.”

With that out of your mouth came another knock at the door.

“Is your boyfriend going to be mad I’m here?” Cassian raised an eyebrow.

“Not my boyfriend, and I don’t know that it’s Kylo either.” You said making your way to the front door.

“$5 is it!” Cassian called.

And you would owe him that $5, because on your front step stood Kylo. Bag of your clothes in hand.

“Where’d you run off today?” He asked.

“Oh, sorry. I have a sub filling in tomorrow and I need to find something for her to have the kids do with the book.” You spat out quickly.

“You left these.” He held out the bag to you and before you could grab it Kylo’s face and hand dropped.

“You must be Kylo.” Cassian said, slipping past you out the door to stand next to Kylo on the step. “Cassian.” He held out his hand. Kylo stared at him in anger for a moment before he shook his hand. “Good grip there, bud.” Cassian laughed shaking his hand. “Listen, I’m going to get out of here, but Y/N I’ll see you. It was nice to meet you Kylo.” He walked down the steps. “Good luck with her.” He turned to call back towards you two, wicked smile across his face.

“Why was he here?” Kylo asked still staring after Cassian.

“He’s leaving New York soon, wanted to see if I wanted to do dinner again.” You stated stepping aside in the doorway.

Kylo turned to you, rage filled eyes, burning into your own. “Did you leave this morning because of him?”

“What? No.” You asked shocked. “Do you want to come in?”

“Why because your boyfriends gone?” He asked not moving from his spot on the side walk.

“Kylo. There is nothing going on with me and Cassian. Why are you so angry?” You asked. He didn’t answer, he sat staring through you for a while. “Kylo.” You barley got the his name out.

“I’ll see you at work.” He said, turning to speed walk away from you. The bag of your clothes still in his hand.

“What the fuck.” You said before slamming the door, and you hope he heard you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, i guess come say hey on Tumblr if you want too? Idk that seems to be the thing to do 🤣 
> 
> Strawberriedalive over there too 
> 
> Also, If you’re a writer and you would like to edit some smut let me know because ya girl is trying but i have no idea if its good 
> 
> Hope you’re enjoying this story so far! I have no idea if its good but I can’t get it out if my head so here we are 
> 
> Okay! See ya tomorrow- or later today :)


	8. A tipping point

You walked out of the doctor’s office trying your best not to text Kylo and ask him what his deal was yesterday. You thought he would have at least texted some half-ass apology by now, but it was radio silence. The confusion you felt outweighed any anger you could muster up from the previous day. The constant hot and cold with him was being to take its toll on you and you weren’t sure how much more I could take. Everyone had a breaking point. 

Apparently, you weren’t giving a choice to have one. The next four day you heard nothing from Kylo. His avoidance skills well intact as you didn’t even see him around school. You hadn’t realized how much he had inserted himself into your life until he wasn’t there anymore. You sat alone in your room at lunch, and after school you had to remind yourself to watch the time as you almost graded papers until 8pm the first day without Kylo popping in.

You didn’t have any field trips scheduled until after Christmas break, and if he needed someone for this week, he didn’t contact you. You tried to rack your brain for something that you could have possibly done to this man that made him so angry. He just completely cut you out it seemed. You knew you hadn’t though. Kylo had made it apparent that he just wanted to be friends, and Cassian wasn’t trying to date you so what had been his problem? You were convinced the man was dead by Wednesday as you laid on the couch in Rose’s room after school rambling to her about him.

“He’s alive alright.” She said standing from her desk. “I just saw his moody ass in the hall earlier. I tried to say hi but he didn’t even look up. Whatever’s happening with him is still going on.”

“Well, it’s good to know he isn’t just out living his life as normal I guess.” You mumbled.

“Do you want me to track him down right now and ask him what his deal is?” Rose asked pushing your feet away to sit on the end of the couch.

“Maybe.” You groaned. “I don’t know.”

“It sounds like you got it bad my friend.” She teased. You shot her a look and she laughed. “Look at you.”

“How did this even happen? It wasn’t like we were even dating. We were friends. The closes we got to even anything was unintentional cuddling.”

“So you think it was unintentional.” Rose smirked.

“Ugh.” You rolled off the couch.

“Two options.” Rose said looking up at you where you now stood in front of her. “Go in there and demand answers.”

“Or?” You questioned.

“Get over him. Move on. I’ll keep saying this, but you don’t need the hot and cold bullshit.” She crossed her arms. “You’re too hot for that.”

You smiled at her and shook your head. “I hate when you’re right.”

“I know.” She smiled back.

“Well, I guess I better go.” You sighed picking up your bags.

“Which is it going to be?” She asked before you got out the door.

“I’ll let you know when I do.” You said.

But then you heard it. The slightest squeak of a shoe in your hallway. You jumped back from the doorway as if you were doing something wrong. You and Rose shared a look before she scrambled to her feet to peek out the door. You knew what you both were expecting, but when Rose looked back at you your stomach turned as she shook her head. “Sorry.” She sighed.

“What’d you do?” Poe asked walking in making you both jump.

“Jesus Poe!” Rose yelled slapping her arm.

“What?!” He yelled back rubbing the spot she hit.

“You scared us!” You yelled at him.

“Sorry, Christ. I was just looking for you. James wants to practice tomorrow after school and he asked that you come.” Poe stated.

“Yeah. Okay. Fine.” You said shortly. “I’ll see you then.” You left then, not being able to deal with much else the rest of the day.

Thursday was the last day of school for that week, having a 3-day weekend, most of the staff was going out as usual. Rose had told you even in your grumpy state you had to come and Thurday afternoon you sat in the music room after school listening to Poe go over melody lines with James. He was singing his own solo in the school show case, but somehow the two of you had also convinced him to sing the lead for a Dear Evan Hansen medley with the whole freshman chorus group. It brought you pure joy seeing this boy break out of his quiet mold.

“Ms. L/N.” He called you across the room. “You’re going to be at the showcase, right?”

“I wouldn’t miss it!” You gave him a smile and he smiled back. You felt your heart swell with pride.

“Okay, James. Let’s do this one last time so You, Ms. Y/N and I can get out of here for the long weekend.” Poe said starting the Piano again.

Once James packed his things, he left saying bye to both of you and promising Poe he would practice all weekend.

“Hey, Y/N. A bunch of us are going out tonight if you wanted to come.” He grabbed his own bag and walked out the door with you. “You can invite your boyfriend.” He winked.

“Not my boyfriend, but yeah. Rose invited me earlier today. I’m coming.” You stated.

“My mistake, I’ll see you there then.” He waved as you both walked out the door, heading different directions.

You walked the blocks to your house. Before you made it to your front steps your phone rang.

“Not just showing up at my house anymore?” You asked when you answered.

Cassian laughed. “Listen, my schedule got rearranged and I was wondering if you could do dinner tomorrow instead.”

“Uh, yeah. That should work. Text me where to meet you and I’ll be there.” You opened your front door and dropped your bags.

“Nope. I’m picking you up. This one must be a proper date. I’ll be there at 5.” He hung up the phone without another word. ‘A date’ he said and a sinking feeling washed through you. Without a second thought you scrolled through your contacts.

“Rose.” You said before she even fully answered.

“If you’re canceling on me for tonight so you can play pretend couple with Kylo I’m going to be so pissed.” She said right away.

“What? No. I’m coming. This is about Cassian.” You ran up your stairs to your bedroom throwing possible clothing options on the bed.

“Hot ex – college guy?” She asked.

“He asked me to have dinner with him one last time before he left New York, and he just called it a date.” You sighed.

“And?” She asked.

“And, I don’t know.” You fell back on your bed.

“Listen. I like Kylo. I do. And I love you. I’ll always support you, but he’s not making any move to get past friends here and to be honest with you he hasn’t talked to you in a week, and I don’t see you making any attempt to go seek him out so you should go.” She stated simply.

“I don’t think I should have to talk to him first.” You mumbled.

“No. I agree. He owes you an apology and an explanation. He doesn’t get to act like your boyfriend when he isn’t.” She agreed.

You paused, sitting up. “You’re right.”

“I know.” You could hear her smile in her voice. “Now go get ready. I’ll See you in a little bit! ” She said hanging up.

You sat staring at the wall, feeling the little break in your heart crack more before you finally moved to get ready.

Walking into the bar you could see Finn and Rose were already seated at a table waving you over Rose stood to give you a hug

“Drinks?” Finn asked. 

“Whiskey, make it double.” You sighed and Finn gave you a wink before leaving to the bar.

“Still nothing?” Rose questioned and you shook your head.

“Here we go!” Finn said coming back with his hands full.

“This is not ‘some drinks’ Finn.” Rose said giving him a stern look.

He smiled in response. “Compare to usual?”

You realized in a split second that you hadn’t asked Rose all week about your phone call Sunday, and we’re about to open your mouth when you saw her hand on Finn’s arm. Your eyes went wide, and Rose noticed. She started to laugh but before she could her face twisted and her eyes darted to you. You didn’t need to ask her what her look was for. You heard Kylo walking behind you, but you didn’t bother to look at him or acknowledge him.

“Evening.” Kylo said to the table. Finn and Rose both said hello to him, but you kept your eyes fixed on the glass. “Y/N.” He said softly pulling the chair out next to you and your eyes shot to Rose to give her your best ‘Oh, what the hell.’ Look. She looked between you and Kylo before she decided sipping her drink and talking to Finn would be better.

“Can we talk?” Kylo asked, lips so close to your ear it made you blush.

“I don’t think right now is a great time Kylo. I’d rather not get into a bar fight with you and never be able to come here again.” You said not looking at him.

He nodded to himself. “Later then?”

“It depends, is it your apology?” You asked finally looking over to him.

“It’s involved.” He said flatly. You gave him a nod and he stood. “Grab me before you leave.” He said before he walked away.

“Uh.” Rose started but Poe walked up quickly cutting her off.

Poe smirked at you handing out the shots. “Still just friends?” He asked.

“Yes Poe.” You rolled your eyes.

“She has a date tomorrow.” Rose spoke up.

“A date?” Finn asked.

“It’s not –“ You started.

“It’s totally a date, and it should be. Someone’s had plenty of chances to make a move and he hasn’t, so.” Rose shrugged and you knew she was right, but it still slung.

“Well, to your date going well.” Poe said raising his shot glass.

“To dates!” They yelled with you and you laughed.

After hours of drinking you were feeling good, walking that fine line of tipsy and drunk knowing that you couldn’t tip over the edge in case Kylo wanted actually talk to you. When Kylo returned you were jumping around Rose singing out Mr. Brightside and almost knocked him over when you jumped into him.

“Whoa there.” He said taking your arm to steady you.

“Sorry!” You mumbled clutching his arm for support.

“You ready to go?” He asked low and you nodded.

“You leaving?!” Rose yelled looking between the two of you.

“Yeah, we’re going to head out!” You yelled back.

“Okay! I’ll be over tomorrow!” She said and you barley caught it but waved to her anyways.

When you walked out of the bar you turned to Kylo. “Where too?”

“My house.” He said, already turning in that direction.

The walk to his house was quiet and opening the door he let you in first. Without hesitation you walked into his kitchen to grab a bottle of water and he followed. Once half the water was gone you set it on the counter and stared at him. “I’m waiting.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Y/N, I’m sorry.” You continued to stare at him but he said nothing.

“You’ve been avoiding me for a week I think I deserve more than that.” You said flatly.

“You weren’t exactly knocking my door down either, sweetheart.” He retorted.

You stood shocked for a second before you turned on your heals towards his front door.

“No. wait.” He said, and you turned back around to him. “I just, I don’t like the guy.”

You rolled your eyes. “You don’t even know him.”

“I know his type.” He said flatly. “Listen, you’re my friend. I just think you deserve better than that and it upset me seeing you with him, because of that reason.”

You should have felt at least slight relief at his apology but for some reason it hurt more. You felt a slight crack at the top of your heart as he stared at you. You shook your head and went to turn away, but he caught your hand before you could get away from him. “Please. I-“ He took in a deep breath and your eyes caught his. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at having friends.”

There was a slight pause in his voice before the word friend. A pause so slight you barley caught it, but it was there. You stood, staring at each other for to long before you let out a sigh. “Fine. But you owe me.”

“Anything.” He said, thumb grazing your arm.

“You have to come with me to the Fall show case.” You stated.

“That’s in three weeks.” He raised an eyebrow at you.

You shrugged finally pulling away from him “Guess you can’t fuck up till then huh?”

“I guess so.” He said walking over to the fridge and pulled out a tub of ice cream. Setting it on the kitchen table he waved his hand in front of it.

“Did you get me an apology gift?” You stared at the tub while Kylo went to fish out two spoons. Not saying anything he handed you one and sat down.

You laughed, shaking your head at him and Kylo laughed too. Both of you sat, eating out of the tub of ice cream talking. You trained your eyes to the ice cream or the table while you talked, because in this moment you should be happy with your friend. But you knew if you looked into his eyes a little to long, your heart might just break. That was until Kylo got very quiet as he put the ice cream away.

“You want to stay here again? Or you want me too walk you home?” He asked avoiding looking at you.

“I’ll stay, it’s late. But you can't freak out when i'm gone in the morning i have busy day tomorrow.” You joked.

“I can do that.” Kylo smirked.

When Kylo woke in the morning you were gone. He slowly felt the bed where you were laying the night before and it was warm, meaning you hadn’t been gone long. He turned his head into the pillow you laid on and inhaled the traces of your perfume that was left there. Staring at the ceiling he tried to shake the pit in his stomach. He knew if he kept playing this game he would lose you completely. He was giving you nothing to hold onto to here. He laid in bed for hours, something he didn’t do before wondering through the house to the kitchen. He stared at the yellow walls while the coffee brewed. His whole home had you embedded in it, embedded in him. The more he stared at that wall the more he could picture your smile as you danced around his living room. The more he could hear you laughing at his jokes. The more he could taste the lunches you brought him and the more he could feel you tanged with him in his bed. Sound asleep as you smiled to yourself, blissful unaware he was watching your perfect face.

He could also see Cassian. Sitting with you at dinner, looking you up and down. Playfully touching your arm while Cassian mocked him from across the room with a cocky smile. Kylo could feel the jealousy and anger he had felt at seeing Cassian slip out of your door to shake his hand, making sure Kylo knew he was there. Then all Kylo felt was shame. Shame for the way he had spoken to you, shame for turning away from your hurt expression while you barley whispered his name, begging to let you explain. But mostly shame for not turning back when he heard your door slam.

No. Shame was just the tip of the iceberg for Kylo Ren when it came to you, with so many emotions just under the surface that he pushed away for weeks. As he sat on the couch you picked out drinking his coffee he decided today would be it. He couldn’t let this go on any longer. He had to tell you how he felt, even if you didn’t feel the same way. He finished his coffee and sent you a text before jumping in the shower. It was 5pm by now which meant you were usually home, but you hadn’t answered. Throwing on his jeans and t-shirt he made his way through the streets till he landed on your door step. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door and waited. When the door swung open his heart dropped seeing Rose standing there.

“Kylo? What, why are you here?” She asked.

He ran a hand through his hair. “Is Y/N here?”

Rose smirked. “No, she’s out on a date. Anything I can help you with?”

He froze, the pit in his stomach growing. “She’s where?”

“She went on a date with Cassian.” She replied.

“Where Rose.” He asked, the anger growing in his chest.

“They went to that new restaurant a couple blocks down.” She replied, still smirking.

Without another word he turned towards the restaurant and walked. He wasn’t sure what his plan was when he got there, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to lose you now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is up later than usual but I rewrote this 4 times. I hope it's good because man oh man am i NERVOUS and it's not even the big one yet.  
> Let me know? 
> 
> Or maybe don't. I don't know. hahaha.


	9. Meanwhile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose helps you get ready for your date- which doesn't go as planned.

You woke up once again on silk sheets. Stretching your body, you weren’t surprised to find Kylo’s arm around your waist again or his legs tangled in yours. Softly you detangled yourself from him and made your way to the bathroom to change and get ready to leave. When you came back out you folded his clothes you’d borrowed to sleep and stacked them on the dresser.

Kylo was still peacefully asleep. You stared at him for a moment, wondering if maybe deep down he felt the same way you did. If he knew that when you stayed here he cuddled you in his sleep. Your next thoughts were his words last night, and the fact you hadn’t told him about your date. But Rose was right, Kylo hadn’t made an effort to move past friends and his mixed signals were just that.

You grabbed your stuff and slipped out the door. The midmorning sun shone through the sky making everything reflect its brightness. As you walked you texted Rose you’d be at your house soon and to come by anytime before 5 when you were going. When you walked in your house you immediately headed for the shower. Scrubbing and shaving every part of your body you needed too. You figured if you were considering this a date, you might as well treat it like one. After you got out and dried off you lathered on lotion and towel dried your hair.

When you opened your bathroom door you screamed. On your bed Rose sat scrolling through her phone. She looked up wide eyed at your scream.

“Jesus, Don’t do that!” You yelled.

“Sorry! You said just come over!” She stated.

“I didn’t hear you come in. Scared the shit out of me.” You laughed moving to your closet to get your robe.

“Sorry.” She laughed back. “Are you still going on your date tonight?”

You nodded, avoiding eye contact with her.

“Ugh, what is wrong with that man!” She all but growled. “You sleep in his bed last night?”

“Yep.” You finally looked at her.

“And was he cuddling again when you woke up?”

“Yep!” You sat next to her on the bed.

“And nothing? He didn’t make a move? He didn’t say anything last night?” She asked.

“No he didn’t.” You mumbled.

“Well, then. Fuck him. Times up.” She stated standing. “We’re going to make you look so hot and sexy. You deserve this date.”

You smiled at her, knowing she was trying to convince you more than just acknowledge the situation.

“Come on. We need wine, and I’m doing your hair and makeup.” She reached to grab your hand.

“Yeah, also.” You said taking her hand and following her down the stairs. “Finn?”

She stopped in the kitchen to turn back to you. “Uh, about that. He’s kind of my boyfriend now?”

You’re eyes went wide. “Wow! Rose, that’s amazing. Finns a really great guy.”

She gave you a small smile. “Thanks. I’m happy.”

“You look happy.” You took two wine glasses out of the cabinite and she grabbed the wine out of the fridge.

“Now, lets go get you ready so you can be happy too.”

You gave her a forced smile then because you knew deep down Cassian was not the one that was going to make you happy, but a distraction was worth a shot.

After hours of Rose trying different makeup and hair looks on you, she threw a dress from the back of your closet to you. “That one.” It was a dress you had worn to a formal at some point. It was a short red dress with only a slight dip in the neckline, so it was on the classier side. She placed nude heals in front of you. “Those.” As you slipped them on and stood she looked you up and down. “Hot!”

“Thanks!” You laughed, checking yourself out in the mirror.

“You’re going to have so much fun.” Rose stated gathering her stuff.

“I hope so.” You muttered and Rose turned to you.

“None of that. I know it’s not exactly what you wanted but Cassian sounds nice from what you told me. Cocky, but hopefully in more ways than one.” She wiggled her eyebrows

You shook your head and laughed at her. “I don’t know about th-“

You were cut off by the doorbell and Rose looked to you. “Well, nows the time to figure it out!”

You walked down the stairs and opened the door. Cassian stood in a nice navy-blue suit. “Sorry, I’m a early.” He stepped inside before he looked up. “Wow, Y/N. You look amazing.”

“Thanks Cassian, you too.” You smiled.

“Yes, yes you both looked great.” Rose said coming down the stairs.

“Cassian, this is Rose. Rose, Cassian.” You said.

Cassian held out his hand to Rose. “Pleasure.” He kissed her knockles.

“My my.” Rose winked at you. “Well, you two getting going. I’m just going to clean up my stuff and I’ll lock up behind me.”

“You sure?” You asked her.

“Yeah! Go have fun while I finish your bottle of wine.” She laughed.

“We’ll just be at that new Italian place a block or so over.” Cassian told her.

“GO, go!” Rose said pushing you both out the door.

“I’ll call you later!” You yelled as Cassian led you down the street, and Rose gave you a little wave before shutting your door.

Once you were gone Rose went back up to your room, making good on her promise to finish what was left of the bottle. She picked up her stuff around the room, putting it back in her bag. Then she cleaned up your stuff, knowing you’d apricate it tomorrow.

When everything was cleaned up Rose grabbed her bag and the empty wine glasses and made her way to your kitchen to put them in the sink. She was on her way to the front door when she heard a knock. Rose paused for a second before a wicked smile stretched over her face. She knew exactly who was at the door, and the plan formed in her mind so fast she didn’t have time to rethink. Composing herself she set her bag behind the door and opened it.

“Kylo? What, why are you here?” She tried to sound surprised.

She watched as he ran a hand through his hair. “Is Y/N here?”

Rose smirked. “No, she’s out on a date. Anything I can help you with?”

Rose watched the look that came over him, like a deer in headlights. “She’s where?”

“She went on a date with Cassian.” She replied casually.

“Where Rose.” He asked and Rose knew she was getting the reaction that she wanted.

“They went to that new restaurant a couple blocks down.” She replied, still smirking.

She watched as Kylo turned without another word and stalked towards the restaurant. Shutting the door, she got her phone out and immediately texted you 911, hoping she could warn you of the storm that was coming.

You were done with dinner, bored out of your mind when you checked your phone. One text from Rose 15 minutes ago that only read. “911.” And a text from Kylo from one hour ago asking if you were home. It had only been about 50 minutes since you left home but Cassian had you both order as soon as you got there, and since there wasn’t much of a conversation having caught up last time you weren’t sticking around talking. Standing to leave you locked your phone and put it in your purse. You used to have so much in common with Cassian through the years, and back then sleeping with an older man was half the appeal. Now? Well, lets just say there wouldn’t have been a second date. You knew deep down it really had nothing to do with Cassian.

“It’s been really good seeing you again. I’ve missed you.” Cassian said as you slipped out the front door of the restaurant.

“You too Cassian.” You forced a smiled at him and before you knew it he turned you against the brick wall, and kissed you hard. For a split second your mind flashed pictures of Kylo. His eyes, his lips, his freckles, his smile. Then your brain told you, he doesn’t want you. Rose’s words rang in your head ‘He had a chance to make a move’. Whether it was fueled by sadness or hurt you couldn’t tell but you kissed back. You both knew why you were here, a short dinner just being a formality. Cassian wasn’t going to move to New York and Kylo had left you confused and lonely. The kiss lasted a split second longer until it was suddenly cut off by Cassian’s yelp. When you opened your eyes, Cassian was on the ground holding his bleeding nose. Kylo stood over him, seething.  
  
“Oh my god, Kylo what the fu-“ you were cut off again. This time by Kylo’s grip on your arm, dragging you down the street towards your house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter one today as the next one is going to be a book by itself it seems hahaha. 
> 
> Thank you guys for your nice comments and kudos. I don't think i'll ever be confident while posting but it really means a lot to know you're liking it so far ! 
> 
> Next chapter is ...... ;) 
> 
> See ya soon :)


	10. Can't deny this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, fluff, smut, fluff, and then it's sad

Kylo was pulling you by your wrist down the block while you half ran to keep up with him. “Kylo. Slow down. Not everyone is 6’3.” You told him but he didn’t stop until you got to your door. You stared at him expecting an explanation, but he just stared back.  
  
“Would you like to open your door?” He asked. Teeth clenched. You gave him a look before fishing out your keys and unlocking the door. He ripped open your front door and placed a hand on your back to get you inside.

“Kylo. What the fuck are you doing?!” You yelled dropping your purse and keys directly on the floor. You stared at him, but he said nothing. “Seriously? You show up and punch my date in the face then say nothing?” You yelled but still nothing from him. Turning you walked into the kitchen to grab a water then started to make your way up the stairs to your room, leaving Kylo standing by the door. 

Once you were halfway up the stairs he finally spoke. “Where are you going?”

“To bed Kylo. I’m going to shower and change then I am going to bed since you obviously can’t have a conversation like an adult, you’re free to leave and never speak to me again.” You continued walking up to your room. Once you got into your room you heard Kylo coming up, taking the steps two at a time before he busted into the room. The force from him slamming your bedroom door shut knocked the water bottle you put on the table over. You turned to him, waiting but again he said nothing. Rolling your eyes you stepped towards the bathroom when he took two large steps and blocked the doorway but he continued staring holes into you.

“Oh my god! What is your deal dude?!” You yelled at him.

“You told me nothing was going on with him!” Kylo finally yelled back.

“There wasn’t!” You took a step towards him.

“Then what the fuck did I just walk into.” His chest was heaving. His face red.

“Why do you give a shit if there is Kylo? You have made it pretty clear we are just friends.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“So there is something going on with him?” He slammed his hand into the door frame.

“Maybe! I don’t know, because my _friend_ punched him in the face!” You walked out of the bedroom, away from him back down the stairs.

“You want to fuck that guy?” Kylo yelled after you.

“Maybe! It’s not like I’m getting laid anywhere else.” You spat at him.

“Oh, that’s just fucking great.” He came down the stairs after you

“Why do you care Kylo?” You asked turning back to face him.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and stared at you again.

“Oh you’re done talking now?” You asked and he said nothing. “Ugh! Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you.” You spun and marched back into the kitchen. You heard something break behind you but you didn’t turn to look. “You have made it pretty clear you just want to be friends, so why are you showing up to punch out my date.” You yelled as he walked into the kitchen. “You don’t get to do this anymore. You don’t get to say we’re friends and then flirt with me, cuddle with me-“

“I nev-“ Kylo started but you put your hand up.

“No, I am so tired of people cutting me off. You listen to me Kylo Ren. You don’t get to cuddle me, and dance with me, and act like my boyfriend when you just want to be my friend. It’s done. I’m done.” You said, both of you staring at each other, breaths heavy. You reached for the fridge to grab another water bottle, but he slammed the door shut before you could get it all the way open.

“I don’t think I ever said that I only wanted to be your friend.” He stated, eyes dark.

You stared at him for a second but all you could get out was. “Huh?”

“Y/N.” He sighed running a hand through his hair. “Do you honestly believe all this time I’ve felt nothing? That I’m some robot of a man with no feelings?”

“Well you have shit way of showing it.” You tried to say it confidently, but it came out weak.

“Yes. I do. I can’t deny that. I’ve had a lot of fucked up shit happen in my life I can’t even beginning to explain right now, and I will one day if you want to know because you make me want to open up to someone. I didn’t care to have anyone around before you. Fuck I let you design my fucking house.” He started pacing.

“Kylo-“ You started but he cut you off.

“No just. Fuck! Just let me- My life is a mess, things you have no idea and I tried to keep you at an arms length. I tried to deny myself the happiness you brought me because you don’t deserve to have to deal with me. But you were everywhere, from the moment I saw you in that staff meeting on, you were constantly popping up. At the bar the first night when I heard you singing I thought my heart was going to bust open right there. In the statue of liberty, seeing how sick you were made ME feel physically ill, and when I saw you with Cassian at dinner. When I watched him walk out of your house as you stood in my clothes- I was so close to just breaking his hand on your front step. It was like all the air was sucked from my lungs. Like someone punched me in the chest, just from thinking you left my bed to be with him. When we didn’t talk for those 4 days, fuck it was only 4 days but I couldn’t deny it anymore.” He paused looking at you, stepping forward. “I can’t deny this anymore.”

Before you could answer his lips were on you, moving against yours. Without hesitation you kissed him back, putting your fingers into his hair as his tongue entered your mouth. You let out a small moan against his tongue causing a low growl from his chest as he pressed his hard, covered cock into you.

He lifted you from by the thighs and you wrapped your legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. He turned to carry you up the stairs as if it was nothing. You heard him step over glass before he hit the bottom step. Once you were up the stairs, he unzipped your dress. Taking the bottom, he ripped it over your head before continuing to kiss you. He laid you on your bed and you put your hands on his chest, letting them work slowly down to his belt buckle, fumbling with it for a second before it was loose. Next you worked on his pants button and zipper while he kissed down your neck. Biting and sucking as he worked his way to your chest.

You leaned forward slightly to tug down his pants then boxers. His cock sprung free and he let out a small moan against your skin. Working his hands down your body he stripped your panties off, and you worked at the claps on your bra behind your back. When you pulled it off you realized that you were completely naked in front of him.

He pulled back, drinking in your body before his eyes met yours. “So beautiful.” He breathed out. He continued his trail down your body, a moan escaping your lips as his teeth grazed over your nipple before kissing across your chest to suck on the other. His hand slowly slipped between your thighs until he reached your clit and his thumb made slow lazy circles there. You leaned your head back in response. He groaned as he dipped one finger inside you. “So fucking tight.”

He worked in another finger, coating it in your juices before he started working his way in and out of you. He curled his fingers against your walls, speeding up. You moaned louder than before. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve have been thinking about this.” He whispered into your ear. 

“Since when?” You asked as he slowly pulled out.

“Since I saw you in that staff meeting the first day of school.” He lined his cock up with between your folds. Suddenly you snapped out of your lust filled haze as you remember how big he was when you saw him, not hard. As if he could read your mind he stopped, leaning over you again to kiss you. “We can stop.” He breathed heavy into your ear.

“No just, uhh.” You stammered out.

“I’ll go slow, okay?” He whispered and you nodded in response.

Slowly he slid into you until you were completely full with him. He stilled to let you adjust as he sucked on your neck, collar bone and chest again. When you thought you were fully adjusted to him you wiggled your hips to give him the go ahead. Ever so slowly he pulled out before pushing back in. “When I walked into your classroom, late at night while we were alone I thought about bending you over your desk.” His hips picked up the slightest bit on speed. “When I walked you home, I thought about coming in and doing just this with you all night.” He reached his hand back down to rub against your clit “And when you were sleeping in my bed, pressed against me. I thought about just keeping you there until you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day.” He pulled out fully then and slammed into you. The scream that ripped from your throat was something you’d never heard come out of you before. The pleasure of him over taking you. “No one can have you but me.” He growled as he picked up the speed on your clit while pounding into you more. “No one.”

He was thrusting so hard you saw stars. You couldn’t control the noises coming out of you. Small whimpers, whines and moans he pulled out of you. The physical pleasure mixed with the emotional pleasure of his words, of knowing this whole time you weren’t imagining his feelings washing over you. “Kylo I’m-“ Was all you managed to get out before your orgasm shook you and you called out his name. Kylo released, his thrusted becoming less and less as he did until he was still, cock inside you.

Catching your breath, he kissed up and down your neck before pulling out. The sudden emptiness made you shudder slightly. He laid next to you, both of you staring at the ceiling. You didn’t know what to make of this situation. Kylo Ren had not only punched someone for taking you on a date but confessed his feelings and fucked the life out of you. Half of you was clueless while the other half expected him to leave.

“So.” You said finally breaking the silence that filled the room. “Now what?”

He looked at you for a long moment before he turned on his side with a smirk on his face. “Go on a date with me.”

“What?” You half laughed, because of everything you thought he’d say that was not it.

“Yeah, go out with me. On a real date.” He asked again, eyes searching yours.

“Okay.” You agreed.

“Yeah?” He smiled.

“You really need to stop being surprised by me.” You joked, suddenly aware you were still naked.

“Never.” He breathed out, pulling you into him to kiss the top of your head.

“Kylo.” 

“Yeah?” He backed up slightly.

“I need to go put some clothes on.” You tried to pull away from him, but he locked on.

“You never need to do that.” He said standing from the bed and offering you his hand.

“What?” You asked sitting up.

“Shower.” He smiled and you took his hand.

After you showered, with some shower time activities, you gave him the sweatpants of his you had stolen the first night you slept over and threw on a big t-shirt. You started to make your way down the stairs for a snack when Kylo stopped you.

“Glass.” He said avoided your eyes, as if he was suddenly remembering his tantrum.

“What did you break?” You followed behind him.

“Do you have a broom or something?” He asked stepping over the shards of glass scattered around the floor.

“Hall closet.” You pointed. He grabbed it and started cleaning up the broken glass as you sat at the bottom step admiring a shirtless Kylo Ren cleaning. “What was it?” You asked again.

“It was a vase.” He finally answered.

“Ah, okay.” You continued watching him as he got on his knees to feel around the floor from any leftover shards. “Don’t do that, I have a vacuum I can use, you’ll get a glass splinter.” You laughed at him.

He looked up to you from his place in front of you on the ground. “You’re not upset with me?”

“Why because of the vase?” You raised an eyebrow and he nodded. “It was from a secondhand store, it was like $2 maybe. It’s fine I’ll get another one.”

He stared at you, still on his knees he shuffled to you. Placing both his hands on the steps on either side of you he leaned in to kiss you. “I’m sorry.” He said pulling back.

“Kylo, it’s seriously fine.” You pinched his nose. “I got something much better tonight anyways.” You leaned in to kiss him again and felt him smile against your lips.

The next morning you woke up how you had the last two times with Kylo. Only it had seemed he was holding back before as you were pinned against him. One arm tightly around your waist the other under your head while both legs wrapped in yours. You smiled to yourself as you settled into him the little more you could. He groaned, rubbing his morning wood against your ass.

“You trying to start something this morning?” He grumbled still rubbing into you.

You giggled against his arm. “No, I was just getting comfortable.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” He said kissing the back of your head.

“Sorry to disappoint but I have plans today.” You said and you felt Kylo stop grinding against you.

“What’s that?” He asked pulling his arm from under your head to lean against it.

You turned so you could look up at him. “I’m pretty sure I have a date today.”

“Hmm.” He smiled. “Guess you should get ready for that then.” He gave you a small kiss before sliding out of the bed to find his jeans and shirt. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Where are we going?” You asked sitting up.

He winked at you from the doorway before heading down the stairs. You sat on your bed smiling to yourself until you heard the door shut. Grabbing your phone you went into the bathroom to start getting ready, scrolling through your recent call list before clicking on Rose’s name.

It only rang twice before she picked up, her face close to the phone. “Tell me that this game is over.”

You smiled. “Well…..”

“Ah! FINALLY!” She yelled. “Tell me everything,”

“No please leave out some details.” Finn called from behind her.

“I will spare you the mental image but let’s just say I have a date today.” You said as you started to fix your hair.

“Oh, thank god!” Rose yelled again and Finn hushed her. “When?”

“In like, 45 minutes.” You said.

“Okay, well go get ready! Call me later, or tell me Monday if, well, ya know.” She winked.

“I will be in your room first thing Monday morning.” You said and she gave you all her good luck before hanging up.

45 minutes later you heard a knock at the door. Opening it Kylo stood, violets in hand. He was wearing a grey baseball tee and jeans.

“Hi stranger.” He smirked leaning down to kiss you.

“You know, I might regret saying this, but you can just walk in.” You gave him a kiss before stepping aside to let him walk past. “Those are beautiful.”

“These are for you.” He said handing you the flowers.

“Aw, thank you.” You took them from him and went to the kitchen. Grabbing a larger cup, you filled it with water and put them in. “I will have to get a vase tomorrow to put these in.” You smiled at him, but his face dropped slightly remembering his fit last night. You walked over to him and put you hands on his arms. “Hey. It’s okay, seriously. I will get another $2 vase tomorrow after work.” You kissed his cheek before heading towards the door. “We ready?”

He gave you a slight nod before walking to the door and opening it for you. Stepping out you locked the door and threw it in your bag. You walked next to him on the sidewalk as he led you both towards his destination. He was silent as he walked and you kept stealing glances at him, deep in thought. You nudged him with your elbow. “Usually there’s a lot more talking on dates.” You teased.

“Sorry. I just.” He paused, sliding his hand through his hair. “You shouldn’t have to see me like that. I just don’t want you to ever think I would hurt you.”

“Kylo. You were upset, we were both upset. You broke a vase you didn’t throw me down the steps. It’s fine, seriously.” You squeezed his hand for reassurance, and he laced his fingers in your before you could pull away. As you continued walking you were to far in your own thoughts and butterflies from him you hadn’t realized you were on his street until he stopped in front of the door. “Forget something?” You asked. He smiled at you, opening his door and gesturing for you to walk in.

Once inside a smell of food hit you. When you walked into the kitchen the table was set and there were several plates of different food. You turned to look at Kylo confused.

“I, uh, I thought I’d make you lunch for our date.” He said looking around the room. “But now I’m starting to think this was really lame and- fuck. I’m sorry I should be taking you somewhere nice for our first date shouldn’t I? Shit. I can change and we can go back to your place and you can change and I can get us a reservation somewhere nice, I just –“

“Kylo.” You said to stop his ramble. “This is amazing, thank you no man has ever cooked for me before.”

  
“Really?” He asked smiling at you.

“Really.” You stated smiling back.

“Well, in that case. Have a seat and I’ll get everything.”

It wasn’t anything crazy, but the taste was. You’d had chicken quesadilla’s before but never this good. Kylo also had made fresh salsa with chips. He had beans and rice too. Once you had eaten more than your fair share you sat back against the chair. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“My mom was a chef.” Kylo shrugged taking your plate with his to the sink.

“Oh really?” You asked leaning your elbows on the table. Kylo never talked about his family before.

“Among other things, but yes. She taught me a lot when she was around.” He stated and it sounded like he didn’t want to talk about it further, so you decided it was best to change directions.

“The couch looks so nice in there.” You looked around the living room through the doorway.

“Thanks to you.” He started clearing the table and you stood to help. “Nope.” He said swatting your hand. “This is a date, I’m cleaning up. Just get some wine and go sit on your couch.” He smiled, nodding to the fridge.

“If you insist. You want some too?” You grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and Kylo set two glasses on the counter.

“Thanks.” He went back to cleaning up the dishes and table. As Kylo finished up you sat and sipped from your glass. When he finally came to sit down next to you your wine was half gone.  
  
“Thirsty?” He smirked.  
  
“Very.” You licked some wine off your bottom lip and watch his eyes dart down.  
  
“So.” He cleared his throat. “What’s next week look like for you?”  
  
“Um. Well. Lets see.” You curled your feet under you and turned towards him. “Nothing tomorrow. Monday and Wednesday after school i told James I’d go with him after school to help with the showcase again since these are the last three day before the break. But Wednesday my classes will be done with the Great Gatsby so we’ll watch the movie after fall break and I can have a break from grades papers.”  
  
Kylo looked over your face for a second before he stood up. You watched as he walked to his book shelf and came back to hand you a book. Your heart stopped when you saw it was the original copy of the Great Gatsby you saw when you came to paint. “What’s this for?”  
  
“It’s for you.” He took a long drink from his glass.  
  
“This is an original print. I can’t take this from your collection.” You tried to hand it back to him.  
  
He shook his head at you. “You misunderstand. That’s not part of my collection.”  
  
“What is it then?” You looked between him and the book.  
  
He looked down into his glass, wiping his hand on his jeans. “I got that for you after our... hang out, if you will, with the first field trip. I over heard you telling Rose it was your favorite one day when you didn’t notice me behind you in the hall so i got it.”  
  
You stared at him, frozen. “We. I, uh. We had barley spoken then.”  
  
He nodded. “Yes, but I knew.”  
  
“You knew what.”  
  
He looked up to you then, a look in his eyes you couldn’t place a finger on. “I knew that I’d get you one day, if I was so lucky.”  
  
You looked at him. Really looked at him. Without a second thought you kissed him hard. He kissed back harder. Tongue finding yours fast. He grabbed your leg with his free hand and pulled you against him. The same hand found your wine glass and set it on the table with his. You stayed kissing like that until you broke for air.  
  
He leaned his forehead against yours. “I know it’s still early, but do you want to stay tonight?”  
  
You nodded, kissing him again and again until finally he picked you up and carried you into his bedroom.

The next morning Kylo walked you home, giving you a kiss before he left. You spent most of the day getting all your first quarter work finished, and cleaning so you wouldn’t have to do anything over the break. Monday morning you popped into Rose room and gave her a full breakdown of the weekend.

“Wow, well. Kylo Ren sure does not how to make a scene it seems.” Rose laughed.

“Yeah, It would seem that way.” You smiled.

“Was it…… ya know.” Rose raised both her eyebrows, tilting her head.

“ROSE!” You yelped.

“What?! I’d tell you about Finn!” She giggled out.

“I don’t want to know about Finn!” You shook your head at her.

“Your non answer is all the answer I need.” She winked. “So, how does it feel? Having a boyfriend.”

“Oh, I um.” You looked to the floor.

“OH SERIOUSLY! Just when I thought this was done. After all that, now you don’t know if he’s your boyfriend?” Rose sat back in her chair, dramatically. “Did he say anything along the lines of that in your three day together?”

“Nope.” You pursed your lips.

“Well, shit. Looks like I have another job on my hands. You two are grown ass adults. What kind of bullshit is this?” Rose rolled her eyes.

“What’s bullshit?” Kylo’s voice rang from the doorway and you both jumped. “You are both easily startled.”

You stood from the couch, smiling as you walked over to him. “Hi.”

“Hi, can I see you in your room?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course. Rose I’ll catch you later.” You turned and gave her a look which she shot back.

“Yeah, I’ll see you guys.” She waved you off.

“What’s going on?” You asked stepping into the classroom.

Kylo brought you back to him in one swift movement, turning you as he did to kiss you deep. You sighed into him, pressing your body to his for a moment forgetting exactly where you were. He chuckled as he broke from you. “Now that’s a morning kiss I could get use too.”

You blushed, putting your forehead against his chest. “Sorry.”

He grabbed your chin and pulled your face to look at him. “Don’t ever apologize for that.” He pecked your lips again. “I brought you coffee, it’s on your desk. Want me to come over after my robotics club after school?”

“Yeah, you want to go get dinner?” You asked making your way to the coffee.

“Among other things.” He said and you were going to reply but the bell rang. “I have to get to my room for homeroom. I’ll see you later beautiful.” And without another word he was gone.

The rest of your day was spent in silent reading with the kids as you let them almost finish their books. During that time you put a huge dent in the essay’s and homework you had to grade. You let each class know that after fall break you’d be watching the movie when they got back and everyone seemed excited, either from seeing what they just read or just to not have to do anything for a couple of day who’s to tell. After your last class you decided you’d stay and grade for a while.

A slight knock on your door frame made you jump. Looking at the clock you realized it was now 5pm, and you’d been grading tests for 3 hours. Lucky for you, you just finished the last paper. Finally looking up to the source of the noise you let out a long breath as Kylo leaned against the frame.

“Staying late again are we?” He asked walking towards your desk.

“I hadn’t realized how late it was, again.” You closed the lid to your pen.

Nodding, Kylo agree.

“When I start working on things, I really dive in. All or nothing kind of gal, I guess.” You laughed earning a small smile from Kylo as well.

“So, I’ve learned.” He smiled sinking into the room. He came around the desk to you.

“You hungry?” You stood to get your stuff.

“Very.” We all he replied before he was pulling you to him. He kissed you hard, his tongue coming into your mouth wasting no time. You couldn’t think as you kissed him back. He turned you both to lean you back against the desk and lifted you onto it. He ran his hand up your thigh until he reached your panties under your skirt and pushed them to the side. “Always so wet for me.” He said breaking your kiss to drop to his knees.

“Kylo, we shouldn’t-“ Is all you got out before his tongue flicked over your clit. You moaned softly and he stopped to look up to you.

“Don’t make a sound or I’ll stop.” He stated before turning his attention back to your pussy. Licking slowly over your entrance before putting two fingers into his mouth. You turned towards the open classroom door trying to listen for footsteps. “Stop turning. No ones here but the janitor and he’s in the basement.” He stated and you turned back to him.

Without warning he pushed two fingers inside you, and you had to catch your moan. He slowly worked you with his fingers as his tongue circled your clit. You gripped the edge of the desk for support as your head rolled back closing your eyes. “Look at me.” He demanded and your head snapped forward. He kept his eyes on yours as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.

“Kylo.” You said, eyes pleading to him. He halted all movement as he pulled back.

“What did I say about making noise.” He stared at you and you nodded dumbly in response.

He went back to work and you put your hands in his hair. Curling his finger into you he quickly brought you close to the edge as he moved in and out. You yanked on his hair to try to give him some sort of communication “You want to cum baby?” He stood, now rocking the heal of his palm into your clit. Your hands dropped to his arms to hold onto him. ” You want me to make you come all over your desk?” You nodded quickly. “Good girl. Cum for me.” He pulled you into his chest quick holding your head to him.

You came around his fingers, biting his chest to stop any sound from coming out as he rocked you through your orgasm. “Fuck Kylo.” You said once you came back to reality.

He let out a small chuckle pulling his fingers out. You watched wide eyes as he brought his fingers to his lips and sucked your juice off them. “So sweet.” He said lowly. After a moment he steadied you on your feet. “You still hungry?” He asked like nothing had just happened here.

You cleared your throat. “I could eat.” You glanced down at the bulge that formed in his pants.

“Oh, you’re going too.” Kylo replied picking up your bags. “Come on, we can order food at my house.”

Stepping up to Kylo’s door, he unlocked it letting you walk in first. As you made your way to his couch you stopped short. There was a boxed wrapped with a bow sitting on his coffee table. He came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Surprise.” He whispered in your ear sending goosebumps down your whole body.

“What is it?” You furrowed your brows.

He chuckled against you. “Go open it.”

You nodded, making your way to the couch in front of it. Sitting down you brought the gift to your lap as Kylo stood in front of the coffee table across from you. You undid the pretty bow and slid the top off the box. You stopped, looking back up at Kylo before pulling out what was inside. It was a beautiful yellow vase, it had small etchings in it.

“Kylo. I- it’s beautiful.” You said looking between the vase in him.

“I kind of owed you one.” He said running his hand through his hair.

“Kylo, you didn’t have to do this.” You put the vase back in its box and set it on the table to make your way to him to kiss him.

“It’s not a big deal. I wanted to replace the vase anyway but when I saw the yellow one, I couldn’t help myself.” He leaned down to meet your lips.

“Well, thank you. It’s extremely sweet.” You hugged him.

He wrapped his arms around you, squeezing before he broke away. “I need to shower but order us something. I’ll be right back.” He kissed your forehead before he left. 

You grabbed your phone to put in a food order, smiling to yourself. You heart was so full you thought it might burst. After you put the order in you laid back on the couch, scrolling through your phone when a number you didn’t know popped up. You stared at it for a second before answering. “Hello?”

“Y/N?” They asked.

“Yes?”

“It’s Aunt Gene. I know we don’t speak, and me calling right now is weird but I just thought someone should inform you that Granny passed last night in her sleep.” Gene said.

“I’m sorry. What?” You almost laughed at how ridiculous what she said was.

“The funeral is Saturday if you can even make it. I’ll email you the details.” Gene replied before she abruptly hung up.

You sat with the phone to your ear, listening to nothing. Hoping that she would come through and say she was just fucking with you. Praying to whoever might be out there that this wasn’t true. You didn’t even realize you were crying until the tears pooled in your ears. Kylo came around the corner at that point not seeing you from your spot on the couch.

“Hey what did you order us?” He came around the couch smiling before he saw you. He rushed over to pull you into him. “What’s wrong? What happened.” You shook your head, unable to say the words to him as you cried into his chest. “Y/N. Baby, please tell me what’s going on.”

You pulled back slightly from him and he wiped the tears off your face. “My grandma died.”

“What?” He asked shocked.

“My aunt just called me. She died last night in her sleep and the funerals Saturday and I don’t know.” You rambled on.

“What can I do?” He asked, rubbing a hand up and down your arm.

“I don’t know, I need to book a plane ticket. I need to find somewhere to stay, I guess. I’m not sure.” You shook your head before you started to cry again.

“Shhh, no. I’ll take care of it. Okay? I got it. Just send me where it is and I’ll take care of it.” He replied pulling you back into his chest and kissing the top of your head. “I’ll take care of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL HOW DO WE FEEL? 10 chapters was a slow enough burn for me hahaha.  
> I hope this subpar smut was okay enough for everyone and I hope you like where this is going. Let me know!
> 
> Thanks again for all your comments and kudos. It's so crazy to me because I never expected anyone to read anything i wrote ever so it warms the spot where my heart should be. <3 lol. 
> 
> Next up, sad boy hours and figuring out what the heck you are with Kylo.


	11. Meeting the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn a lot of shocking things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning*
> 
> this chapter talks about the loss of a loved one and being a a funeral with a family that is not accepting of Y/N.  
> If that is something that will bother you then you should skip to the ** for the ending because that is important to the story.  
> Enjoy:)

Kylo kept his word. He booked your flight and hotel for you. He even stayed with you every night that week, trying his best to distract you. Between the death of the woman that raised you and having to see a family you weren’t exactly on great terms with your mind was running a million miles a minute. You were set to leave Friday and Thursday night after you packed you headed to his house like he said too, assuming he was driving you to the airport in the morning. Once you got there you set your bags by the door and went to find him in the kitchen.

“Hey.” He smiled when you came in. “How are you today?”

“I’m okay.” You let a breath out through your nose, finally feeling more relaxed now that you were near him. He walked over and put his arms around you pulling him into your chest. You felt your emotions taking over again and had to pull back from him after a moment so you wouldn’t start crying again. The poor man has had to deal with you crying more than he should have by now. “Listen, You’ve already done so much for me and I hate to ask you anything else but why I’m gone can you stop over my house?” You walked to where you dropped your purse to pull out the extra key you had made. “If you just go over the one day it’s fine. I’ve managed to keep those plants in the kitchen alive for two whole months and if they die now I don’t think I’m emotionally stable enough to handle it.” You joked turning to hand him the key. You saw how hard his face was, something you hadn’t seen in a long time. “You don’t have too. You’ve already done so much for me and Rose knows where my backdoor key is.”

He took the key from you and return to the kitchen say nothing else. You were about to follow him when you noticed his luggage was sitting next to the couch. “Kylo.” You walked into the kitchen. “Were you coming with me?”

“I was. But if you don’t want me too then I can stay and water your plants.” He said not making eye contact as he stirred whatever pasta he was making.

“Kylo.” You walked up putting your arms around his waist and leaning your head on his back. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t. I was offering but it’s not a big deal.” He said flatly.

You could tell it so was a big deal, but his offer of even coming was enough to push the tears over your eyes. You bit back the sob as you cleared your throat. “If you’re offering than I’d really, really love if you came with me.”

He turned himself so you were wrapped around his chest and pulled your chin up. Once he saw your tears his face softened back. “Baby. You’re breaking my heart.”

“I’m sorry. You’re just so good to me and I’ve never had anything like that before and I don’t deserve you.” You cried into him.

He huffed hard before he reached down and picked you up. Setting you on the counter he wiped the tears from your face. “Don’t even say that to me again. You deserve everything and more.” He kissed the top of your head.

After sitting on the counter for a while watching Kylo finish cooking he set the plates on the kitchen table and came back to you. You leaned down to kiss him before he could help you down. “I’m really happy you’re coming.”

He smiled as he helped you off the counter. “I’m happy you’ll have me.”

The next morning you both woke up and got ready. Kylo called a car service to take you to the airport but when you walked out a limo sat in front of his house. You turned back to him as he placed your bags by the car and the driver put them in. “What are we driving to the Oscars?”

Kylo laughed as he opened the door for you. Once you got into the airport and through security Kylo led you to the VIP lounge. “Okay seriously. What is going on.” You asked in more of a statement as you sat down on a leather couch.

“What do you mean?” Kylo eyed you.

“A limo to the airport? VIP lounge? This must have cost you a fortune.” You turned towards him.

His cheeks tinted slight red as he avoided your eyes. “I had a lot of points saved up, and my family has some connections. It’s no big deal.”

You watched him shift uncomfortably. “If you say so.”

“Tell me about your family.” He said suddenly.

“Oh, um. I don’t know. Their a normal Midwest family I guess. They always though I got special treatment living with Grandma, I’m not sure why but they were never fond of me so I never was close to them.” You shrugged.

“Hm.” Kylo hummed.

“What?” You furrowed your brows.

“No, I just didn’t know what we would be walking into.” He nodding to an attendant coming towards you.

“Well, if they talk to us at all it probably won’t be a nice memory.” You joked.

“Good to know.” He replied before ordering you both drinks. Once the waiter brought them over he raised his glass to you. “To meeting the family.” He took a drink and you smiled back to him before drinking your own.

A few hours later the plane landed in Cincinnati. Kylo had another car waiting to drive you both downtown to a hotel. Once he got you checked in and you both settled into the room he suggested you both eat. Walking into the hotel restaurant Kylo pulled out your chair for you to sit down and sat down next to you, slighting his arm over the back of the chair. You grabbed the two menus that were placed on the table handing him one. Before you could even try to make small talk about the food someone called your name. Turning you saw your Aunt Marie and Cousin Jen headed straight for you. Marie’s short brown hair bouncing when he walked and Jenn’s long brown hair swaying by her waist.  
  
“Hello Y/N.” Marie said when she got to  
you.

“Marie, Jen.” You nodded to them.

“I didn’t know you’d be staying here.” Marie stated.

“Well, we don’t talk so.” You said back flatly, not in the mood to play their games today.

“Hmmm.” She hummed before directing her attention to Kylo. “Who’s this.”

“Kylo Ren.” He stood to shake her hand then returned back to his seat.

“And you’re here with Y/N because?” Jen chimed in.

“Because i’m her boyfriend and i’m here to support her.” He replied before lacing his hand in yours.

You should have been focused on their snarky looks, or their rude judgements. But in this moment all you could think was Kylo Ren called himself your boyfriend and the fact your butterflies were back. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from smiling like an idiot in front of them but you could feel the pink on your cheeks.  
  
“Hm. Interesting.” Jen eyed you.

“How so?” You cocked your head to her.

“Oh, it just seems like you’ve really let yourself go since college.” Jen smiled.  
  
You felt your face getting hot again, this time from the anger boiling in your chest. Kylo squeezed you hand gently before he turned back to the two.  
  
“Well. It was nice meeting you ladies but if you don’t mind, we’re going to eat now.” He said to them.  
  
“Yes. We should go as well. We have lot to do before tomorrow. It would have been nice to have your help Y/N.” Marie said and before you could reply they turned and left.  
  
“Wow.” Kylo said and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.  
  
“My whole life.” You said, barley above a whisper.  
  
You watched as Kylo studied your face from the corner of you eye. He put his hand on the back of your neck and ran his face across your cheek. “I can’t sit back and watch them do that to you all day tomorrow.”  
  
You swallowed down the happiness Kylo’s concern brought you letting it move through your body. “It’s fine. I have you and it’s 4 hours.”  
  
“After tomorrow you never have to put up with anything like that ever again.” He said as if it was a demand to the world to stop throwing punches at you.  
  
You couldn’t help but kiss him. You didn’t care who watched. You lost yourself in his lips, not realizing how aggressive it was getting until your tongue hit his and he pulled back.  
  
“Sorry.” You quietly settled back into the chair.  
  
“Babygirl.” He grab your chin to look at him. “Don’t ever apologize for that. I will never mad at you for kissing me. Maybe just not with some children watching.” He teased and gave him a small smile before the waiter came to take your order. Going back into the room you suddenly felt the weight of the day on your brain. Showering quickly you climbed into the bed, only realizing you had fallen asleep when you felt Kylo crawl in behind you.  
  
In the morning you woke up alone in the bed, hearing Kylo in the shower. You stretched and got up to get ready. Once you were dressed Kylo came out of the bathroom to put his suit on. In the elevator he gave you a long deep kiss before you hit the lobby.  
  
A car took you too the funeral home. You watched as family members and some people you’d never seen before filled in. A heavy feeling pressing into your chest.

“You sure you want to do this?” Kylo asked, pulling you into him.

“I’m here for her.” You said, not needing to clarify for him.

He opened the door and slid out, reaching his hand for you to take. You walked hand and hand into the funeral home. As excepted no one talked to you except the funeral home director. As you walked through the crowd you froze when you saw the casket. Kylo stopped with you, wrapping his arm around your waist to move you to the side still in the back of the room. He watched you, unsure what to say.

“It’s just so real seeing it.” You whispered.

He nodded, kissing your temple. You turn to him and squeeze the hand not around your waist. “I think i’m ready.”  
  
Worry flashed around his face. “Are you sure?”

You nodded and he walked with you to see you. You kept your eyes trained on the wall behind the casket until you both stopped in front of it. You held your breath as you looked down. She was in her favorite dress. They had done her makeup simple as she liked it, and she looked peaceful. You sucked in a hard breath while you stared at her. After a long moment you nodded to Kylo again and he led you away. Before you could get far you saw your aunt Ann beelining for you. Without warning she pulled you into a big hug. You stood there, hands at your side, body stuff while she hugged you.  
  
“Oh sweetie. Can you believe it?” She ask pulling back.

“No. I can’t.” You muttered out.

“Me either. It’s just so sad.” She rubbed your arm. “I heard you and your.” She paused to look at Kylo who stood close to you. “friend ran into Marie and Jen last time. They said you were quite snippy with them.”

“I wouldn’t say so.” You replied and you caught Jen staring at you from the corner.  
  
“Well i don’t think they just make something like that up. They had say you were taking this hard, but i didn’t think you take it this hard.” She looked you up and down. You stared through her, blocking out her words as you felt Kylo’s body go stiff next to you. You slowly looked around and everyone in the room was staring at you, glaring.  
  
“Well.” She clicked her tongue. “Family is sitting up front. You friend can stay in the back.”

You looked at this woman you had known your whole life, a completely stranger and realized that it didn’t matter what they had to say anymore. “Actually Ann. Kylo IS my family. So i will be sitting in the back with him.”

“Not surprising you pick a boy over your family.” She rolled her eyes.

“What is your problem with me?” You asked.

She snorted back at you. “You always thought you were better than all of us. Living with Granny. She spoiled you and why? Because your mommy left you all alone? You were just like your mother, you can move cities and cut us all off but we both know deep down they’ll probably find you cold in an ally too.” She looked at Kylo and pointed to him. “Get away from her while you can.”

You went blind with rage as you snatched her wrist. “Don’t you ever speak to him again. My mother might have left me, but at least she was smart enough to leave me with the only person in this family worth a damn. And you are correct Ann, after today none of you will have to think about seeing me ever again. Now if you excuse me.” You released her brushed past her, down the isle and out the front door. You heard her yelling about how you attacked her, fake crying as other rushed to her aid. You couldn’t care less. You started walking down the sidewalk with no direction other than getting away from them.  
  
You would have walked forever if a sudden hand on your shoulder didn’t stop you. It scared you while you were lost in your own thoughts. You did a 180 only to find Kylo staring down at you. You stared back up at him for a minute before you realized he had tears in his eyes. “Kylo? Whats wrong?”  
  
He didn’t answer. Instead he pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head. He held you to him until you both calmed down enough to walk back.

“I’m sorry she brought up your mother like that. That was your business to talk about, not hers.” Kylo grabbed your hand.

“I’m I couldn’t tell you that myself and you had to see it.” You kissed his knuckles.

When Kylo was about to open the door a man walked through. He stopped seeing you and looked between you and Kylo.  
  
“Y/N?” He asked.

“Um. Yes.” You replied.

He stuck out his hand to you. “Mr. Binks. I’m in charge of your grandmothers estate. I know this is a little odd but she, your grandmother, told me you work at school in New York and i wanted to catch you before you left. Do you have a moment to talk?”  
  
You looked back at Kylo then to the man. “I guess.”  
  
He looked around before look back to you. “Here follow me.” He walked over to the line of car, stopping at a Bentley he pulled a folder out of a briefcase in the backseat.   
“This is for you. This incases all the liquidations that took place and all the closed accounts. If you sign here and put your bank number down here i can have the funds transferred over Monday morning.” He clicked a pen before trying to hand it to you.  
  
You stared at him, eyes wide. “I’m sorry what?”  
  
“You weren’t aware your grandmother left you everything she had?” Binks asked.  
  
“No.” You took the pen from him.  
  
“Well. Everything you need to know is in that folder.” He held the folder out to you. You took it and signed the paper on the back of his trunk. “My numbers on the inside of the folder if you need anything. I’m sorry for your loss.” He took his pen back before walking away.  
  
You stared down at the folder in your hands before looking back to Kylo. He looked just as shocked as you. He took your hand in his and led you back to the limo sitting on the curb. Once you were both inside you handed the folder to him immediately.  
  
“I can’t.” You shook your head.

“Okay.” Kylo took the folder from you. He opened it up, studying all the papers inside. He flipped a couple of them over and over again.

“So.” You watched him.

“She left you about half a million dollars.” He looked back up at you.

“Excuse me.” You blurted out. He turned the folder to you then, showing you the number on the paper. You couldn’t stop the laugh that ripped from you. Uncontrollable, hysterical laughter.  
  
“Well. That’s not the reaction I was expecting.” Kylo said watching you.

“I can’t stop.” You doubled over.

“Baby.” Kylo pulled you to him.

“I cannot believe this shit. Why? Why would she do this?” You asked no one.

Kylo sat and rubbed your back until you finally calmed down again. People started filling out, into there cars. “It looks like they’re going to the graveyard.

“Okay.” You said.

The limo followed in the back of all the cars. Last in line. When you got to the graveyard you stood in the back, as Jenn sang an awful version of amazing grace. None of them even turned to look at you when you came up. The pastor spoke about your grandma, stories of her younger years but all you could focus on was when started to lower her casket down. With tunnel vision you watched as the woman who stepped up to raise you was about to be gone forever. The woman who woke you up with blueberry pancakes on Saturdays and let you pick Friday night movies. The last time you spoke she seemed in such good spirits, asking all about your new job. She would never meet Kylo or Rose. She would never know of the small family you’ve created. In a split second you realized the last of your blood family you would ever have a connection with was gone.  
  
You didn’t realize it happened until you were going down, but your knees buckled. Kylo’s arm tightened around you, holding you up. The tears flowed freely from your eyes without your control. You left Kylo all but carrying you away, back to the limo. The judging eyes of family and their friends alike watching you. You cried into his chest the whole way back to the hotel and up to your room. You cried while he helped you change out of your dress and laid you in bed. He crawled in next to you with his suit still on and held you to him.

"Half those people weren't even around her. They hated me to much to come over and visit and when she went to them she was to busy defending me to have a relationship with them, but she still tried with them. Ya know? She was all had for a long time." You sobbed. 

"You have me now. I know that doesn't help the fact that she's gone but I won't let anything happen to you and you never have to see them again." He kissed the top of your head.

"Thank you." You whisper into him. His words calmed you enough that eventually you fell asleep in his arms.

****

In the morning you woke up to Kylo stroking your face.  
  
“Morning.” You said rolling to face him.

“Good morning beautiful.” He leaned in to kiss you. “How are you this morning?”

“My head hurts.” You groaned.

He laughed and shook his head. “We can fix that.” You smiled at him and you felt his body relax. “There she is.”  
  
“Sorry for yesterday.” You mumbled.  
  
“Please. Baby. I’m begging you to stop apologizing to me.” He said kissing your nose.  
  
You drove the airport hand and hand in silence. The plane ride back the same. It wasn’t until you stepped off the plane and made your way to the baggage claim that you spoke again.

“I can’t believe we were in a hotel room for two whole nights and the most we did was cuddle.” You said.

“I didn’t want to push you. It was a hard weekend.” He replied, stopping at the carousal and watching as your bags came towards you.

“Well, we better get home quick so I can thank you for being so wonderful this weekend.” You said low and Kylo whiped his head to you.

“Is that so?” He grabbed both your bags off the carousal before leading you out the door.

You slipped into the limo and waiting while Kylo followed. The whole time the driver loaded the bags and got into the car Kylo kept his eyes on you. When you got off the highway New York traffic would prove to have other plans for the both of you. You watched Kylo shift around uncomfortably in his seat for a couple of minutes before he finally reached forward and pressed a button of the ceiling. You watched as the partition slowly slid up. Kylo watched your face as you slowly realized what he wanted.

“Get on your knees.” He stated. You fumbled to the ground in front of him so fast your head spun. He leaned forward and gripped your chin, the slight sting shooting straight to your core and let out a breath against his hand. “Go girl. Now, you wanted to thank me?” He asked and you nodded to him. “Use your words.”

“Yes.” You hurried out.

“Good girl.” He patted your cheek before he undid his pants and pulled his cock out. “Start thanking.”

Slowly you grabbed onto his thighs pulling yourself to him. You licked a stripe from the base of him to the tip. He let out a small breath as you placed him in your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks out around him, and he gripped onto your hair. When you moaned against him he pulled you back to the tip of him. “You know the rule about noises. That partition stops him from seeing, but it’s not soundproof.”

You tried to nod but he slammed your head back down. You choked slightly on his length before pulling back to bob your head up and down on him. “Good girl.” He whispered and you sucked harder on him. Taking him as deep as you could until he hit the back of your throat. That brought something to life in him. He gripped your head even harder to hold it still as he slammed into your mouth. You couldn’t help the noises that left you. Small garages and sucking noises as you tried to keep up. Your lips were numb and your jaw hurt from stretching but you kept it locked open for him.

“That’s it baby. Fuck. Take it all.” He moaned out as his thrusts got sloppier. “Ready for me?” He asked and a second later he pulled out of your mouth, stroking himself as hot white ropes of cum shot all over your face. Once he worked himself through, he took two fingers and wiped up the cum. Taking it between your lips. “Suck.” He said and sucked and licked at them until there was nothing left. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned the rest of your face, stuffing it back into his pocket once he was done. “Come here.” He pulled you onto his lap and kissed you. “So fucking beautiful.” He breathed into your mouth and your tongue found his. “Stay tonight?” He asked. “I don’t want to sleep away from you.”

“Of course.” You smiled to him and he kissed you again.

When you returned to Kylo’s house you both headed straight to the bedroom, stripping off your plane clothes to put on anything more comfortable. While you both made your way to the kitchen to find something to eat you saw the extra key sitting on the counter where he left it.

You took it and held it out to him. "Here." 

He narrowed his eyes at you. "What's this for." 

"My house." You shrugged.

Kylo was about to reply when his phone rang. He looked down to see who was calling and his face hardened. “I have to take this.” He slid open the back door and stepped out.

He sat out there for almost an hour and you could hear him arguing with whoever it was but decided to let him have his space. When he finally came back in you could tell he was still angry. You stayed on the other side of the kitchen island, not sure what he needed.

“Kylo.” You said softly and he turned his gaze to you.

Crossing the room in 3 long stride he picked you and carried you to the couch, wrapping himself around you. You held him tight while he worked through whatever was wrong himself. After a while he broke away to kiss you. “Family stuff?” You asked, leaving it open if he wanted to talk about it.

“Yes.” He replied.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked.

“Not tonight, but tomorrow I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.” He sat up.

"I think we have a lot to talk about tomorrow." You teased.

He stood picking you up again and throwing you over his shoulder. “But tonight, tonight I want to fuck the anger out.” He slapped your ass and you giggled as he carried you to his bed.

In the morning you woke up, tangled in Kylo’s sheets in his big shirt that hung halfway to your knees and nothing else. Stretching you realized Kylo wasn’t in bed. Making your way into the hallway you realized the bathroom door was shut, so you assumed Kylo was in there. Walking further down the hall you stopped when you saw Kylo in the kitchen leaning against the counter. He turned to you and looked shocked to see you before a smirk came over his face. “Well, well, well.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why are you being weird?” You narrowed your eyes at him before you walked over to the coffee pot. “Who’s in the bathroom?”

“Kylo probably.” He said.

You turned back to him. “Very funny.” You rolled your eyes. He stood, staring at you while you poured your coffee. You turned to face him as he sipped it. “Are you really not going to tell me if someone’s in the bathroom? Is it Rose? She wasn’t supposed to be here for hours.” You questioned and he smirked again while he shrugged.

You heard the bathroom door open in that minute and you hid yourself slightly behind the kitchen island. But when the person appeared in the door frame you almost dropped your coffee mug. Kylo stood in the doorway, towel in hand. You knew that was Kylo because as he stood shirtless you could see all the scars and moles that ran across his body you'd burned into your brain. He didn’t even look your way as you looked between the two identical men.

“What are you doing here?” Kylo asked from the doorway.

“I came to ask you to be my best man.” The other man smiled.

“Bullshit.” Kylo spat.

“I’m serious. I want you there Kylo. I tried to tell you on the phone, but you wouldn’t listen so here I am.” He walked towards Kylo.

“Don’t.” Kylo took a step back.

“Come on big bro don’t be like this.” The other one kept stepping towards him.

You watched in shock as they went back and forth before you finally spoke. “Excuse me.” They both turned to you, Kylo looked as if he just realized you were here. “Kylo, what the fuck is going on?”

Kylo sighed, running his hand through his hair as he does. “Ben this is my girlfriend. Y/N, this is Ben. My twin brother.”

Ben walked over to you with his hand out. “Nice to meet the woman brave enough to babysit Kylo.”

You stared at his open hand then looked back to Kylo. “Your twin what now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ope :)
> 
> I keep saying it but thanks for the Kudos and comments! I love hearing your thoughts! It makes me so happy knowing there people out there who like what i'm writing! 
> 
> Okay, have a good day!


	12. Let's talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to learn a little about Kylo's past.

You stood, staring at the clones; your brain unable to process what was happening.  
  
“Baby. Why don’t we go talk in the bedroom for a second?” Kylo asked.

“Baby?” Ben raised his eyebrows at Kylo.  
  
Before you could move the front door opened and in walked a woman with long brown hair and brown eyes. She looked athletic from her build, all brought together in a cute pants suit.  
  
“She’s here too? How many people are here Ben?” Kylo asked.  
  
“Just us!” The woman smiled at Kylo.  
  
“And Dad.” Ben said walking over to grab the lady’s hand.

“Dad is here?” Kylo walked over to stand next to you.

Ben and the woman both smiled as they walked back into the kitchen. “Not here, here. But he is in New York. He thought it was better not to come.” Ben said.

The vein in Kylo’s neck started to pop slightly and he pumped his hand in and out of a fist behind the island so only you could see.

“Kylo.” The woman said getting his attention. “Ben and I are getting married and I’d really appreciate if you were there.”  
  
“You?” Kylo looked completely shocked.  
  
“It’s a really long story.” Ben interjected.  
  
“Apparently.” Kylo mumbled looking back to you finally he sighed. “Rey, this is my girlfriend Y/N. Baby this is Rey. Our childhood next door neighbor and apparently my brothers fiancé.”

“Baby?” Rey questioned, looking between You and Kylo before turning to give Ben a look you could only clock as impressed and shocked. You looked around the room. All three staring at you. You decided in that moment whatever was going on here was family drama and since Kylo would barley tell you about his family, you thought it best to get out of there.  
  
“It was really nice to meet you both. Would you all excuse me for one second.” You beelined for Kylo’s room. Shutting the door, you hurried and changed into the sweatpants laying on the floor.  
  
Kylo all but took the door off, slamming it shut when he came in after you. He stared at the closed door for a minute before he finally turned around. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know they would just show up here.”  
  
You crossed your arms over your chest and leaned back against his dresser. “You didn’t think to tell me there is two of you?”  
  
Kylo ran a hand through his hair before coming over to you. Picking you up he placed you on the dresser and he opened the drawer of his shirts between his legs. “I.” He took a deep breath. “I can tell you whatever you want to know, and I know I should have told you sooner but there just never was a good time and I....” He trailed off.  
  
“And you don’t like talking about it.” You sighed and he nodded. Wrapping his arms around your waist before carrying you over to the bed. Setting you there he sat down next to you. “When we were younger Mom and Dad were always gone. Uncle Luke was there, he babysat a lot and my Uncle Chewie, it’s a nickname long story - not important. But Ben was always the golden child. We were both always smarter than other kids, better at sports, all of that. But at home if something broke it was my fault. If someone didn’t clean up their stuff it was my fault.  
Finally, Dad wanted both of us to take over his and mom’s business so they could step back more, but I didn’t want that. I always loved Science. I knew that teaching was something I wanted to do and Dad couldn’t understand.”

He stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “One night we got into a big fight about it, Ben got involved too. Ben, he was sticking up for me but at the point I already felt alone even with someone on my side. Some punches were thrown, words exchanged and then I left. I never went back. I pulled money out of my trust fund before they could realize just in case I needed it to pay for college then I changed my name. I ended up getting full rides and every grant I could in college so I barley touched the money, hence.” He gestured around his house.   
“It wasn’t until earlier in the school year that I contact Ben again. I told him not to tell anyone but fuck, here they are.”  
  
“Wow.” You breathed out.  
  
“It’s messy.” Kylo said as he turned his head to you.

“What made you want to talk to him again? Your brother. Why’d you finally call him.” You asked.

Kylo’s eyes flashed that thing you couldn’t put your finger on. “You did.” Your stomach did a little flip. You weren’t sure how you felt about that answer, but it made you happy.

“You didn’t sign up for all this shit. If you want to walk away right now, I won’t hold it against you.” Kylo took your hand  
  
A smirk came over your face. “You’re going to look at me every day at school, see me in the hall, in staff meetings, and on field trips and not think about holding something against me?” You teased.  
  
Kylo swallowed, and his eyes darkened slightly before nodding.  
  
You shook your head at him. “Well.” You stood. “You didn’t exactly sign up to have yourself used a cry rag all weekend, so I guess after this we’re even.” You smiled pulling him up so he was sitting on the edge and you could move between his legs.

He gave you a quick kiss on the lips before standing with you. “Let’s go get this over with.” Kylo walked to the door and dragged you along.  
  
“Wait.” You whisper - yelled and he stopped abruptly. “Are you going to do it?”  
  
“Do what?” Kylo asked confused.  
  
“Be his best man!” You pushed. Kylo stared at the wall behind you. He shrugged before opening the bedroom door.

“Okay.” Kylo said walking into the living room with you following close behind. “You want to talk, talk.” You sat down on the sectional next to Kylo, sitting to face Ben and Rey. Rey watched you and Kylo the whole time with a smile on her face.  
  
Ben shifted slightly before he started talking. “Well, after you left Rey and I spent a lot of time together. At first, we looked for you. I thought you would have left the city, apparently I was wrong about that. Mom and Dad, they moved down to Texas, but Rey and I went to college at Florida state.”  
  
“I bet you too had fun there.” Kylo muttered.  
  
“It wasn’t all about the parties Kylo.” Rey interjected.  
  
“Anyways,” Ben side eyed Rey. “We were together ever since freshman year.”  
  
“And now you feel the need to get married and drag me into it.” Kylo crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
Rey’s eye shot to you before moving back to Kylo. “You know what it’s like to be in love Kylo. I love your brother. I always have and we want you there.”  
  
Kylo’s face was slightly red at her words which caused Ben to smirk. “When?” Kylo asked flatly.  
  
“New years eve! Here in New York.” Rey smiled wide again.  
  
“Okay.” Kylo replied.  
  
“Okay?” Ben smiled at him.  
  
Kylo shifted towards you slightly. “Okay. I’ll be your best man.”  
  
There was uncomfortable silence for a minute, Ben and Rey beaming with happiness as Kylo leaned further into you. “Do you guys want some wine?” You ask standing to walk to the kitchen.

“Oh, I like her.” Ben said and Rey nodded.

You went to the kitchen, getting down four glasses and a bottle of wine before making your way back into the still quiet room.

“So, how did you guys meet?” Rey ask taking two of the wine glasses from you and handing one to Ben.

“Oh, we work together.” You handed Kylo the other glass, knowing he needed it more than anyone.

“Oh really? You teach science too?” Ben asked sitting forward.

“English actually.” You sipped your glass.

“Her class just got done with Gatsby.” Kylo added.

“That was my favorite it school.” Rey smiled again.

“Yeah, mine too. Actually, Kylo got me a first addition copy of the book.” You told them, not being able to stop the smile on your face at the memory.

“Is that right?” Ben smiled, eyeing Kylo while he twisted your lose hair between his fingers.

“Do you live here too?” Rey asked you.

“Oh, um. No. I live about 7 blocks away.” You leaned back into Kylo.

Rey was watching you both like she was seeing a man walk on water. Ben’s expression not far from that either. “You’ll come too, won’t you?” Rey asked.

“To your wedding?” You furrowed your brows.

“Yes!” Rey and Ben said at the same time.

“Oh, um. Yeah of course if Kylo wants me to be there I’ll come.” You gave them a small smile.

“Kylo- Shmylo.” Ben laughed. “We want you there.”

Kylo leaned forward slightly so he was as close as he could possibly be to you. “I always want you there.”

“Well then I guess I will be there.” You blushed and Rey’s eyes shined at the two of you like she found gold.

“Y/N, you have to give me your number so we can get lunch while we’re in the city.” Rey slid you her phone before you could object.

“How long are you going to be here?” Kylo asked while you typed your number into Rey’s phone.

“All week!” She took her phone back from you.

“You should see him.” Ben looked to Kylo.

Kylo ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah maybe. We’ll see.”

“Don’t push Solo.” Rey muttered to Ben, who put his hands up in defense.

“Solo?” You asked look back at Kylo.

“That’s right!” Ben chirped. “He used to be a solo.”

“Kylo Solo.” Kylo said, wrinkling his nose at the name.

You thought it over for a second before you smiled at him. “I like Ren better anyways.”

Kylo smiled at that looking down, the tension finally sliding from his shoulders.

“Well.” Ben said standing from the couch. “We better get going but give me a call this week Kylo.”

Rey stood with him. “You too!” She pointed to you, giving you another smile.

“I will.” You smiled back and Kylo stood to walk them out.

While he did you grabbed the four wine glasses and headed to the kitchen, you heard Kylo walking in behind you. “They seemed nice.” You said cautiously.

“They are.” Kylo agreed

“What did Rey mean ‘you know what it’s like to be in love’?” You asked walking around the kitchen island putting the dishes in the sink. Kylo stopped moving by the kitchen table and turned towards you.  
  
“You’re allowed to tell me about your ex’s Kylo.” You laughed   
  
He shook his head. “No. That’s not what she meant.” He looked down to the floor.  
  
You didn’t understand what he was saying. “Then what did she mean?”  
  
He looked back to you. Staring in your eyes, reading you. “Rey has always been very good at reading me and situations.”  
  
You stared at him, confusion evident on your face. Whatever he was talking about was lost on you. You couldn’t understand what Rey was reading. Did Kylo love someone else while he was with you? You felt a pain in your chest before you asked, not wanting to know an answer.  
“Are you in love with someone Kylo  
  
Kylo gave you a small smile while he walked towards you. He put one hand on the back of your neck and one on your hip. He leaned down into you. “Yes.” he barley breathed out before he kissed you.  
  
The pain in your chest turned back to butterflies as you finally put the pieces together. You didn’t think it was possible. It hadn’t been that long with Kylo, yet it felt like you’d known him a lifetime. You just never imagined he felt the same. You put your fingers in his hair, putting him into you more. The kiss deepening with each second until you were sure you and Kylo had molded into one. He backed you up against the counter in two steps.  
  
“Kylo.” You whispered as you broke from him. He pulled back; his eyes full of fear for what you might say. What you might do. You held your own breath, watching him watch you. “I love you too.” He smiled as he attacked your lips again.

Later the next day you sat on an outdoor patio at a table with Rey. After she left yesterday, she had texted you immediately to make plans. You sat, sipping a pop while she looked over the menu. Waiter waited for her and when he was gone to put your orders in she turned to you.

“So. Kylo.” She smiled.

“What about him?” You raised an eyebrow.

“So, what’s he like? To you I mean. I know the old Kylo but not like this.” She took a drink from her glass.

“Hmmm.” You thought. “Well. To me at least, he’s sweet. He always puts my feelings first, even when I don’t. If I need him he just knows, he doesn’t have to ask. I don’t know.” You laughed. “Why do you ask?”

Rey shrugged. “Like I said, I have never seen Kylo like how he was with you yesterday. Granted I haven’t seen him in a long time but everything else about him seems the same, except you.”

“What was he like back then?” You asked her.

Her eyes dropped to the floor. “Sad. He was such a daddy’s boy when we were growing up and Han being gone really took a number on him. Eventually he just isolated himself. He would still talk to Ben and me but it wasn’t the same.” She looked back to you. “But I can promise you one thing. I’ve never seen Kylo so much as look at a girl for more than 6 hours before so you must be something pretty special.”

You blushed at her, and before you could say anything your name rang through the air. Turning you saw Rose and Finn making there way to you. “Hey!” Rose said coming up.

You stood and hugged them both. “Rose, Finn. This is Kylo’s …… future sister in law, Rey. Rey this is my best friend and her boyfriend.”

Rey’s wide smile appeared at the way you introduced her, shaking both their hands. Rose gave you a slight look while Finn talked to her.

“I’ll tell you later.” You whispered.

Rose nodded before she turned back to Rey. “What are you guys doing today?”

“Oh, well. I haven’t told your bestie here yet, but she’s coming with me to look at wedding venues today!” Rey said.

“I am?” You questioned.

“You are.” She smiled, and you smiled at that.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then.” Rose said. “Call me later?”

“Promise.” You said giving her another hug.

“She seemed nice.” Rey said once they left.

You took a drink. “She is. Rose was my first friend when I moved here.”

Rey nodded to you while the waiter set your food down. “Rey, I think it’s really nice you want me to go with you today, but wouldn’t you rather have someone you’re closer too go?” You said as you bother started to eat.

“Well, seeming how you’re going to be my sister now I think it’s perfect that you come.” She looked up to you.

“That’s really nice of you but I don’t know how true that statement is.” You laughed slightly.

“Y/N.” Rey said grabbing your attention again. “You might not see how Kylo looks at you, but I do. I’m not saying it’s going to happen tomorrow, but I think you’re here to stay.” She smiled at you again.

“Oh, uh. Thank you.” You stammered out, looking at your food.

“You have thought about that right?” Rey asked.

“Actually, no I haven’t. We haven’t talk about it, it’s still to early for it to come up really.” You knew your face was bright red.

“Would you?” She questioned and you looked back to her. “If he asked you to marry him would you?”

You sat back in your chair and thought about it. “Kylo’s only been in my life a few months now, and really we’ve only been together less than a month. But I don’t think I could ever see my life without Kylo in it.”

Rey accepted that answer as enough. “Good.”

When you were done eating Rey grabbed the check before you could even protest to pay for at least half. Walking out to the street you saw a car waiting for you. “Ready?” Rey asked as the driving opened the door.

“Are you? It’s your wedding venue!” You laughed sliding in behind her.

“Oh, I’m so ready.” She smiled, and you thought it might be nice to have a sister like Rey.

After going to three different venues with Rey you had her drop you at your house. Kylo told you in the morning he was going somewhere with Ben and probably wouldn’t be done till late but would be over in the morning. So once you got home you called Rose to explain the last 4 days of your life to her.

“That’s why I texted you not to come to Kylo’s yesterday.” You said.

“Yeah, understandable.” Rose laughed out. “That is CRAZY!”

“Tell me about it.” You mumbled.

“Well, at some point we are going to have to have a girl’s night. We only have like 8 more day’s of freedom from those kids.” She joked.

“You’re right, how about next Sunday?” You walked around your house aimlessly.

“That works. That gives me two days to recover before we go back Wednesday.” She stated and you agreed.

After you hung up the phone you looked around your house. Deciding you should probably eat you ordered food and took a shower. Spending the next 3 hours watching pointless reality reruns and letting your mind become useless as there was nothing to do for the rest of the night anyways. Finally, at some point you made your way to bed, slipping into the covers and the darkness of your room.

Looking at your clock it was only 9pm. You laid staring at the ceiling thinking about Kylo. You missed not having him in bed next to you. You thought of the night before and your core clenched instantly at the memory. Shrugging to yourself that you had nothing better to do you reached under the bed and pulled out a box. Taking out a pink vibrator you had gotten some time in college you slowly slid off your panties and pressed it against yourself. Using your own slick, you slowly guided it in until it was fully seated inside of you.

You realized quickly it wasn’t as big as Kylo, but it would have to do for now. You adjusted the settings on the bottom of it and the quick vibrating made you buck your hips against nothing. Settling back onto the pillows you grabbed the sheets in your fist and let it do it’s magic, moving a circle inside of you and a slow hum against your clit. You laid there thinking about your first night with Kylo again. It didn’t take long for the pleasure to pull you close to the edge until you were moaning out his name. So close, just a little and you were righhh-

You heard your front door close. It quickly sobered you and you pulled the toy out and off, throwing it under the pillow. You listened closely, slight fear coursing through you at the fact someone might be breaking in. Then you heard them in the kitchen moving around. It sounded like they were putting things away instead of taking them. You got up and grabbed a golf club from your closet and slowly crept to the door listening. Ever so lightly you padded down the stairs through the living room and sat backing against the wall between there and the kitchen listening to the fridge open and shut, and the water dispenser go on. You shifted your weight slightly and a creak in the floorboard stopped all noise from the kitchen.

You held your breath as you listened to the footsteps creeping towards you and you knew that this was your chance now or never. Quickly you pivoted on your left foot and brought the golf club over your head as hard and fast as you could. It stopped against something quick and was ripped out of your hands and hit the floor. Yelping you tried to jump back but an arm caught your waist.

“Hey. Hey. It’s me. Baby, it’s just me.” Kylo cooed running a hand through your hair trying to calm you down.

“Jesus, Kylo.” You leaned into him. “I forgot you have a key.”

“I’m sorry, I should have called. I know I said I probably wouldn’t be done til late-late but I was wrong. Are you okay? You’re sweating a lot.”

“Oh uh, yeah-yeah. I’m fine.” You pulled back from him to step towards the living room.

“I yelled when I came in, I thought I heard you yell back. You must not have obviously if you were so scared.” He stated looking you up and down.

Your eyes almost went wide as you realized what he meant. “Yeah, weird.” You played it off walking towards the living room.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.” He said, following behind you.

“No, I wasn’t sleeping.” You admitted before you could stop yourself and before you could hit the couch Kylo grabbed your arm.

“Look at me.” He demanded and you did. You looked into his eyes and your breath hitched, remember the job you did not get to finish. You knew your pupils had to be blown. He took two steps toward you which caused you to take two steps back. “Is someone else here?” He growled.

“What? no!” You said taking to more steps back so your back hit the wall.

Kylo studied your face for a second before a small smirk came over his face. “What were you doing that you didn’t hear me yell your name.” He asked closing the gap between you.

“Well, um. I was uh-“ You stammered out.

He leaned down towards you so close his breath on your cheeks. “Were you saying my name?” He asked.

You nodded your head, your brain too blank to form words with him so close and you already so turned on. He slid a hand between your bare thighs until he reached your slick and dipped a finger in. You moaned out against him as he went much deeper with his hands alone then the toy did. He started working slow circles with his thumb around your clit. “It would seem that I stopped you at the good part, didn’t I?” He asked and you nodded more but his hand caught your chin and gripped. “Answer me.”

“Yes.” You breathed out.

“Good girl.” He growled before he removed his hand and picked you up. Walking you both over to the couch, he wasted no time undoing his belt and zipper. He sat on the couch and pulled you over his lap, holding your waist in his hands over his hard cock. “Why don’t you show me what you were going to do to whatever you were using.” He slid you down onto to him and you moaned. Lust taking over you, you braced yourself on his biceps and used it to put yourself back up before you slammed down on him again, quickening your pace as your went.

“That’s right baby.” Kylo groaned to you and it only fueled you farther. You moved against him fast, your hips slamming down on him more and more. He finally craved after a while, flipping you onto your stomach to slam himself further into you. You cried out as he went on and on until you started to see stars again. Needing release you whined to him and he pressed your head into the couch. “You didn’t need me before.” He panted, grabbing onto your hair to pull your head back. “Why do you need me now?”

“Kylo, puh-lease!” You managed to get out and you felt him laugh.

“Tell me you love me.” He growled.

“I love you.” You said.

“Louder.” He demanded.

“I LOVE YOU!” You yelled and he reached his hand around you and rubbed over your swollen clit. It didn’t take much before you were screaming for him, orgasm slamming into you hard. Kylo wasn’t far behind you. Panting he pulled out and helped you sit back up on the couch. You felt the soreness hit you as soon as you were upright. You grimaced slightly at the pain. Kylo noticed, gently picking you off the couch to carry you up to your bed where he pulled you into his chest.

“I love you too.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head. You nodded to him, smiling as you quickly fell asleep.

When you woke up Kylo was still there. His face so relaxed while he slept. You brushed his hair back from his face and he groaned in response. You giggled when he pulled you into him. "Morning." 

"Morning baby." He replied, voice horse from sleep. He kissed your nose before he rolled onto his back. "I have a question."

"Yes?" You asked curiously. 

"Will you go with me today?" He asked, staring at the ceiling.

"Uh, what's today?" You asked. 

He sighed, pausing for a long moment before he looked back to you. "I'm going to see my dad." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hope some more subpar smut is what you needed today hahaha. 
> 
> I'm annoying at this point but your comments bring me life so thank you so much.  
> Please continue to let me know what you think !


	13. A day to remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go with Kylo to see his dad.

You and Kylo sat in your kitchen waiting for Ben and Rey. When they arrived Kylo answered the door and let them in.

“Wow, even answering her door.” Rey smiled to Kylo. He rolled his eyes and waved his hand towards the kitchen.

“Hey, good to see you’re still around.” Ben winked at you.

“He can’t get rid of me if he tried.” You smirked at Kylo.

“Yeah, yeah.” He pulled you to him to kiss the top of your head.

Ben and Rey exchanged a look before Ben turned back to the both of you. “You guys ready to go?”

“Can someone explain how this happened?” You asked as you all walked to your door.

“Yesterday when Ben and I went to dinner, and I got tricked into going tux shopping.” Kylo shot Ben a look.

You shot Rey one as well. “I know the feeling.”

They both laughed and got into the car as Kylo continued. “After we hung out for a while and Ben told me Han wanted to speak with me while he was here.”

Rey gave Ben a funny look she obviously thought you didn’t catch, but you brushed it off. You didn’t know them well enough yet to be reading into things. “Oh, well that’s a good thing. Right?”

“We shall see.” Kylo said.

Getting to the hotel the four of you took the elevator to the top floor. A single door sat in a hallway and Ben took out a keycard to open it. Stepping in you saw it was a huge suite. Ben looked around before looking down a long hallway. “I’ll be right back.” He turned down the hall to the last door knocking before walking in. You followed Kylo to a long couch in the middle of the open room, while Rey sat a table a little off to the side. Ben returned alone a second later looking nervous. Rey gave him a questioning look before he gave her a quick kiss and joined her at the table. “He’ll be out in second.”

“Are you all staying here?” You asked.

“Yeah, our rooms on the other side of the suite though.” Rey said.

“We’ll have to show you guys around later.” Ben added.

You heard the door at the end of the hall open before you heard slow footsteps. Ben and Rey turned to look down the hall. You gave Kylo’s hand a little squeeze. “Are you ready for this?”

He kissed you on the cheek before sitting back. “As long as you’re here I’m fine.”

A tall, thin man with grey hair came into the room. You could tell without a doubt it was Han the moment you saw him. His shared DNA with the boys was undeniable. He stopped seeing all of you sitting there before he looked to Kylo. When their eyes locked Han face went white like he was looking at a ghost. Ben stood walking halfway to Han before waiting, like he was ready to stand between them in a fight.

“Kylo.” Han finally said, his face softening. He looked back to Ben. “What’s going on?” Han asked him

“I thought he knew I was coming?” Kylo asked Ben.

Ben looked between Kylo and Han. “So, I may have bent the truth a little to get you to come see Dad.”

“Oh no.” Rey sitting back in her chair. You tightened your grip on Kylo’s hand, as if that could hold him back if he wanted to knock Ben out right now.

“You did fucking what.” Kylo leaned forward.

“How are you here?” Han asked walk further into the room next to Ben.

“He didn’t even know I was in New York?” Kylo asked Ben.

“No, I was here on business why they looked at wedding venues.” Han replied for him.

Ben looked terrified of the situation he had put himself in. “I had to get you to come talk to him Kylo. You’re going to be my best man I think it’s good-“

“He’s going to do what now?” Han asked.

“Don’t hold your breath now Ben, this is fucked.” Kylo spat.

“Oh, you’re one to talk.” Han spat back at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kylo stood quickly.

“Kylo.” You tried.

“You fight me then run out on your mother. Take money out of your trust fund than disappear for years. Do you know what that did to her Kylo? Do you know how many nights she stayed up crying?” Han stepped closer and Ben stepped with him.

“Did you tell her what you did the night I left?” Kylo stepped towards them.

Han stepped again. “I did Kylo, and if you had been around to talk about it-“

“Oh, we talk about it Han. If you remember, we talk about it but there weren’t many words involved at the end.” Kylo was shaking.

“Yeah, I remember the broken nose I had well.” Han retorted. “But I was more worried about your mother.”

“You think I wasn’t?” Kylo yelled.

“Funny way of showing it.” Han shook his head. “Almost 7 years you don’t call? We thought you were dead. We had to send a private investigator after you.”

“You knew where I was and you didn’t even try to come see me?” Kylo threw his hands up.

“Why so I could get a black eye to match my broken nose?” Han to him.

“You can now.” Kylo seethed taking one step forward.

Ben stepped in between them holding his hands out. “Hey. Kylo. Dad. Stop.”

“Don’t do this guys.” Rey called from the table.

You stood up taking a step to him. “Kylo.”

Kylo looked back at you, his face red, jaw clenched. His eyes found yours and you saw the tears start to form there. Han looked to you then, as if noticing you for the first time. “Who is she?”

“She is none of your fucking business.” Kylo balled his hand into a fist, his back towards the group as he pulled himself together.

“Kylo. He doesn’t know.” Ben tried.

“I don’t care.” Kylo said through clenched teeth.

“Han.” Rey said. “This is Y/N, Kylo’s girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Han questioned looking at you, all anger seeming to fizzle out of him.

“Hello.” You finally said, walking past Kylo you reached your hand out to him. He looked at it for a second and then looked back to your face while he shook your hand.

“Well. If you two are done screaming at each other. Why don’t we all sit down and talk about this.” You looked back at Kylo. “Like adults.” You looked to Han again. “Any chance there alcohol around here? I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m going to need it.”

Ben smiled at your comment. Rey laughed making her way from the table over to the bar in on the far wall and Han followed her. “I like her.” Han commented to Rey.

“Yeah, we all do.” Rey said back before they brought over 5 glasses of whiskey. You settled on the couch pulling Kylo down next to you, hoping to keep him calm. Rey sat next to Ben, both in the middle of Kylo and Han, Ben apparently with the same idea as before about the fighting. All 3 Solo men seemed to be short tempered.

“Now, who wants to go first?” Ben asked.

“I think he already did.” Kylo mumbled.

“Oh, I haven’t even started.” Han said and Kylo leaned forward towards him.

“Okay, okay.” Ben said stopping them both. “Dad, I know there’s something you wanted to say to Kylo for a long time so why don’t we start there.”

Han looked to Ben then back to Kylo. He sighed running his hand through his hair and you had to look down to stop yourself from smiling at it. “Kylo I.” Han shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Kylo said without missing a beat.

“I’m sorry.” Han said again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around more, and that when I was I pushed you so hard, but most importantly I’m sorry I couldn’t accept you for who you are, and what you wanted to do with your life. ”

Kylo stared at him, a long silence filling the room. “I’m sorry. What?” Kylo finally said.

You, Rey and Ben all sighed at the same time. Han shook his head at Kylo. “I love you Son. I know I did a lot of things wrong in my life with you boys, but you should be around. We want you around.”

Kylo swallowed hard then nodded but didn’t say anything. He laced his fingers through yours and sat back.

“Now.” Han said, sipping his glass. “Tell me how this came about.” He gestured between you and Kylo.

“They work together.” Rey wiggled his eyebrows.

Han laughed. “How long have you two been together?”

“Um, not very long.” You avoided an actual answer, not wanting to explain how long things had gone back and forth for.

“Since the beginning of the school year at least.” Kylo stated, squeezing your hand.

Han hummed at that. “Could have fooled me.” He looked at your and Kylo’s hands, intertwined on your lap. “Kylo with a girlfriend. You haven’t been around son, but I’m still assuming that’s a new one.”

“You’d be correct.” Kylo said.

“It’s going to be Kylo with a wife if they keep going at this rate.” Ben teased and you nearly choked on nothing. Kylo chuckled beside you and Rey beamed at the two of you. Kylo’s lack of reaction caught you off guard. You thought if it was brought up again by Rey, or Ben now, he’d be slightly uncomfortable, or change the subject immediately but he just smiled his big smile that you loved and the little lines around his eyes crinkled. You smiled at that, about to speak when the door to the room opened again.

“Han?” A female voice rang out from the door. All four people sitting around you face’s went ghost white, their eyes wide.

“What’s going on? Who’s that?” You asked looking around.

“Our mom.” Ben replied and Kylo went stiff next to you ask they sound of shoe’s on hardwood came closer.

“She’s here?” Kylo asked looking to Ben.

“I swear I didn’t know that.” Ben shook his head.

“She got in right after you two left earlier.” Han said looking uncomfortable.

“Shit.” Kylo said under his breath, and it was the first time you ever saw the man sweat from nerves.

“Oh no.” Rey scooted almost behind Ben.

“What is it?” You asked to the room.

“Dad might have made amends but Mom’s going to kill me.” Ben said quietly.

Kylo’s mom came out from the hall, attempting to detangle a piece of jewelry. She had long grey hair and looked much shorter than Han and her sons. “Han can you undo this stupid chain it got tangled in the luggage.” She looked up, her face breaking in a smile at Ben and Rey as they appeared to be cuddled on the couch. Then her eye’s flicked over to Kylo. Her face dropped and so did the chain in her hand. Han stood to walk to her “Leia I-“ She put her hand up to him and he stopped mid-walk.

Kylo stood, dwarfing his mother immediately. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Leia asked him.

“I uh, came to talk to Dad. I didn’t know you would be here.” Kylo admitted to her.

“I see. Is that an issue? Me being here?” She looked Kylo up and down.

“No.” Kylo said shifting uncomfortably. You watched as he some how shrunk in front of her glare, like he was a little boy in trouble again.

Leia watch him, cocking her head. “Are you sticking around?”

“I’d like too.” Kylo answered. “I’m sorry Mom. It wasn’t fair to you.” In a second you watched Leia’s face soften and she hugged her son. Kylo tensed for a second before returning the hug.

“You’re still in so much trouble. We have a lot to talk about, but it’s good to have you back Kylo.” Leia said to him. You could only picture the tears in Kylo’s eyes now, not being able to see his face, but you knew they were there. You felt the emotions swell in your own chest, watching the man you loved with his family again. _Because of you_ Kylo’s words from your previous conversation rang in your head and you smiled. You didn’t know how it was possible to love someone so much in such a short time. But you did.

Leia broke their hug and pulled back, finally making eye contact with you before she looked to Ben and Rey then back to Kylo. “Who’s your friend.” 

“This is my girlfriend Y/N. Baby, this is mom. Leia.” He said turning to you as you stood to greet her.

“Baby?” Leia questioned, half laughing.

“That seems be everyone response.” You laughed too. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well.” She hugged you. “This might be more surprising then my son suddenly turning up.”

“So, I’ve heard.” You smiled to Kylo.

“Well.” Ben stood standing. "I knew my plan would work out perfectly." 

"Oh, this was all your idea?" Leia turned to him.

"Yeah!" Ben smiled wide.

"Great, You're grounded." Leia said. 

"Mom, i'm a 26 year old engaged man you can't-"

"Grounded." She pointed a finger at him. Kylo let out a deep laugh but stopped when Leia turned back to him. "You're grounded too."

You laughed at that.

“Should we eat?” Han asked.

“Oh yes. I’m starving.” Rey groaned from the couch causing everyone to laugh.

“I’ll make a call.” Han said walking back down the hallway to his room.

The six of you sat around a large private table in the back of a Mexican restaurant while a waiter rattled out specials and you scanned the menu. Then you had gotten there Rey had ordered you a strawberry margarita insisting you needed it, which you did once you realized you were essentially at dinner with your boyfriends parents apart from all the other complications to this situation. The boys caught up with each other while Rey and Leia talked about wedding planning, making sure to let you know you were now roped into it as well. It wasn’t until the food came that Leia directed her full attention to you.

“So, tell me about you.” She smiled.

“Oh, um.” You swallowed down your taco. “Not much to tell really. I grew up in Ohio with my grandma, went to college in LA and now I’m an English teacher.”

“A teacher huh?” Leia looked at Kylo. “So, I don’t need to ask how you to met then.”

“No ma’am.” You smiled.

“Tell me, what’s my son like, as a teacher I mean.” She asked.

“He’s amazing, although most of the kids refer to him as the scary science teacher.” You joked and you saw Kylo roll his eyes. “But, yeah. Kylo’s very involved at the school. You can tell how much he likes it.”

Leia smiled, nodding her head. “Good, good.”

“What about you guys? I know there’s a family business, but I don’t exactly know what you do.” You continued eating, letting her take the conversation.

“I've had many jobs, but mainly we run a company that specializes in technology. Mainly for NASA and the military. You know the space pen? That was us.” Leia said so nonchalantly you almost missed you.

“So. The things you invent go into space?” You asked, never sounding more unintelligent in your life.

She laughed. “Yes, they do.”

“Wow. That’s, honestly that’s insane.” You remarked.

“Yes, we work with some very incredible people although soon Ben and Rey will be the one’s taking over.” Leia stated and Rey blushed.

“That’s amazing, you should be proud Rey.” You told her.

She waved her hand towards Ben. “He’s the brains, I just help where I can.”

“I couldn’t do it without you.” He smiled across the table and she blushed again at him.

“You two are really perfect for each other.” You said to them.

“That’s all her.” Ben smirked.

“Well, I’ve seen enough of that.” Han added from the end of the table and everyone laughed. You caught Kylo’s eye then, watching him smile at you. You heart fluttered at how a family he hasn’t seen in so long had brought you in as one of their own so quickly.

When dinner was over you said your goodbyes to them as Kylo told them he and you would be by tomorrow and you started your car ride back to his house. When you got in you didn’t make it further than the couch and Kylo came to lay behind you. “That went pretty great I think.” You told him.

“Much better than I ever thought.” He chuckled. “Thank you for coming with it. It was much easier with you there.”

“Always.” You gave him a kiss. “Although I think your mom likes me better than you now.”

“Oh, no questioned.” Kylo agreed before leaning down to kiss you again. You smiled into his kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“What do you want to do now?” You asked looking back to him. He raised both his eyebrows at you and cocked his head. You stood to pull him to his feet, guiding you both back to his room.

“Hey.” He said once you got into his doorway.

“Yeah?” You turned back to him.

He moved a piece of hair out of your face. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled.

“Good.” He grunted, picking you up and slamming his bedroom door shut with his foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is a day to remember and all i can think of is "If it means a lot to you" (Cool points to you if you know that song and i am showing my age i think lol. 
> 
> It took me listening to both AJR's albums The Click and Neotheater to write this so i hope you liked it. 
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYS COMMENTING ! And thanks for almost 100 Kudos! Lord. I can't even comprehend that almost 100 people thought this was at least halfway decent. 
> 
> Can't wait to hear your thoughts.


	14. Blinded by love

The rest of the break went by in a blink of an eye. You spend every night at Kylo’s house and every day with him and his family. One of the days Leia and Rey dragged you along for more wedding planning. Rey had found the baker she wanted to make their cake, so you were happy to go taste different ones with her. She seemed to have everything almost done except her dress which she had made and would pick up next time she was in town.

The only thing you never heard Rey mention was bridesmaids. You found it a little strange she was doing all of this with Leia but none of her own family or friends were around, but you quickly reminded yourself you wouldn’t have family around for your wedding one day and shook the thoughts from your head. Saturday you went with Kylo to drop his family off at the airport.

Sunday night you and Rose had pizza and wine night at your house, catching her up on Kylo’s family drama while she caught you up on her and Finn’s relationship. Monday and Tuesday you were back at Kylo’s house lounging around on his couch while he typed out emails and made phone calls. Sometimes he would walk out to the deck but you chalked it up to him not wanting to keep interrupting whatever show or movie you had on.

“Is it always this busy for you?” You asked as he walked back into the room.

“The next of the year – slash- halfway through the school year is yes. There’s three dances for the students to coordinate, twice the field trips, parent teacher conferences, and that does include the fundraisers the school will be putting in the next couple of months.” He rattled off, plopping back down.

“Sounds exciting.” You teased.

“Not even close, but it’s what needs to be done.” Kylo shrugged.

Before you knew it was Wednesday afternoon and you were packing up your stuff to go surprise Kylo in his room this time. Walking down the hall you paused getting to the science wing, seeing it was already dark and all the doors were closed. You walked to look into Kylo rooms but it was empty. You hadn’t said you were hanging out tonight but usually he’d still be here. Shrugging to yourself you decided that there were somethings you could get off your to do list today. After finishing grocery shopping you stopped to pick yourself up some dinner then headed home.  
  
When you put your key in the door you were surprised to find it was already unlocked. Opening it slowly you heard your tv on in the living room. Silently you creeped in to peer around the corner when you spotted Kylo’s long legs dangling off your couch where he laid.  
  
“Kylo?” You said fully walking in. “What are you doing here?”  
  


He smiled at you sitting up. “Hi. Sorry, I was around so I thought I’d just come here. Do you need help?”  
  
You shrugged the bags back up your shoulders before heading to the kitchen. “No i got it. How was your meeting?”  
  
He paused before following you into the kitchen. “It was.... productive. How was your day?”  
  
“Fine. We’re mostly watching the movie all week so, not much for me to do but enjoy.” You opened the fridge to put away the food you got.  
  
Kylo came up behind you, helping to hand you things. “Well lucky you. I had to start Chemistry this quarter with sophomores so someone is definitely losing their eyebrows in the next few weeks.”  
  
“Hopefully not you. That wouldn’t look very good for you in wedding photos.” You teased.  
  
“Rey would actually kill me.” Kylo shook his head.  
  
“Rey? Ben would kill you! Then he’s take me down for letting it happened.” You laughed. Kylo smiled wide at you before grabbing your wrist and pulling you to him.  
  
“We can’t let that happen.” He said bending down to kiss you.  
  
You kissed him back and it didn’t take long for his tongue to find yours. You forgot for a moment you were even suspicious of him earlier as you laced your hands into his hair. Once you did he pulled back quickly, clearing his throat. “I’m going to go use your bathroom. I’ll be back.”  
  
You watched as he disappeared down the hallway. You stared after him. Body still buzzing from your kiss. You definitely thought that was going to go further. After collecting your thoughts you finished putting the food away and made your way to the couch. Stretching out your body you flipped through the tv while Kylo made his way back into the room, sitting at the opposite end of the couch by your feet typing quickly on his phone.  
  
You watched him out of the corner of your eye and caught him glancing to you once or twice. He stood suddenly, running his hand through his hair. “I have to run, but i’ll catch you after school tomorrow okay?”  
  
“Oh, uh. Okay.” You sat up and he gave you a quick peck before grabbing his bag and hurrying out the door. You stared at the closed door, mind racing before you finally decided to shower and go to your room.  
  
  
The next day at school you didn’t see Kylo at all. Even though he told you he’d meet you after school at 4pm he still wasn’t there. You made your way to the science hallway and just as yesterday he wasn’t there. It was weird for Kylo just to leaving you hanging.  
  
Making your way back to your room you were so lost in thought you didn’t even hear Rose calling your name until she tapped your shoulder.  
  
“Hey. Are you okay?” Rose asked following you into your room.  
  
“Oh. Sorry, yeah. Just a lot of my mind.” You mumbled out.  
  
She studied your face for a second. “Kylo still being weird?”  
  
You nodded, grabbing your bag and headed out of the school with her. “Listen.” Rose stopped at the bottom of the steps outside the school. “Try not to read to much into it. Kylo Ren has always been an odd guy. Being around you is the most normal i’ve ever seen him. The guy just reconnected with his family and asked you to be apart of it. Whatever’s going on, just let him work it out so he can tell you when he’s ready.”   
  
You thought over words before you groaned at her. “Yeah. You’re right.”  
  
“Usually am.” She smiled at you. “I’ll catch you tomorrow!”  
  
“See ya!” You gave her a little wave before turning to walk towards your house.  
  
You were 5 hours into mindlessly switching between scrolling through your phone and watching tv. You’d hover over Kylo’s name in your phone every once in a while but decided he’d call you when he could.  
  
At some point you must have fallen asleep because you woke up to your phone going crazy. Checking it you had 5 missed calls from Kylo. Clicking on his name you called him back. He answered on the second ring, voice sounding panicked. “Y/N?”  
  
“Yeah.” Your voice and head groggy from your nap.  
  
“I am so sorry. I had a meeting directly after school, I thought it would only take an hour but i’m just now walking out of it.” He talked fast.  
  
“You’re fine. I figured something happened you couldn’t call me. Was your meeting okay?” You asked. He was silent for a while, so long you thought he hung up and had to check your screen. “Kylo?”  
  
“You’re not mad at me?” He asked.  
  
“Do you want me to be?” You questioned.  
  
“No.” Was all he said.  
  
“Okay........” You waited for him to say anything else but he didn’t. “Okay well if that’s all then-“  
  
“Can I come over tomorrow night?” He asked cutting you off.  
  
You softly laughed at him. “Kylo you can come over whenever you want you know that.”  
  
“Okay. I know i just-“ he paused. “I will tell you everything tomorrow. I promise.”  
  
That should have made you feel better but his tone made you anxious. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said.  
  
“Yeah. Sleep tight.” He replied before he hung up.  
  
  
The next day during school all your classes finished the movie, leaving enough time for you to pass out their book for this quarter. Pride and Prejudice.  
At the end of the day you packed up right after the bell rang, not wanting to see if Kylo would make an appearance today. Walking out of the school Poe caught you by the door.  
  
“Hey stranger.” He smiled to you.  
  
“Hey! You ready for your big show case tomorrow?” You asked.  
  
“Are you?” He teased.  
  
“I’m ready to see all the hard work you boys put in!” You both paused  
  
“You’re going to be shocked. James, he’s so talented and seeing him with the other kids is amazing.” Poe told you.  
  
“Well i can’t wait!” You added in before telling him you’d see him tomorrow. You hadn't even taken a step when your phone buzzed.  
  
**Kylo: Hey. Meeting with Snoke is running longer than i thought, I’ll be over right after.  
  
You: Going to grab some food, want anything?  
  
Kylo: Grab me whatever.**  
  
You sighed putting your phone away before making the trek down the stairs to head home. When you walked out the door to make your way down the sidewalk you stopped, someone catching your eye. You watched as Snoke got into his car, loading his things before driving away. You looked around, not seeings Kylo’s car either.   
“What the hell.” You said to yourself.  
  
You sped walked towards the subshop calling Rose on the way to tell her.  
  
“Okay, hang on.” Rose said. “They could have easily gone out for the meeting.”  
  
You clicked your tongue. “I guess that’s true. God, i need to calm down.”  
  
“You really do.” Rose laughed. "But talk to him when he comes over. He is your boyfriend, he should know you thought he was past this hot and cold phase."  
  
“Okay, I’m about to order so let me text you when i get home.”  
  
“Talk to you soon.” Rose said hanging up.

You stood in line waiting for your name to be called for the sandwiches. As soon as they were you grabbed them and stared to make your way out the door when something or rather someone caught your eye for the second time that day. Kylo sat a little table in the corner, chatting away with someone. When you looked over it was a woman you’d never seen before. You felt your heart do a flip when the woman reached her hand over to put it on his arm and Kylo smiled softly at her. You saw red as then continued like that talking, and that’s when his eyes met yours. They went wide when he saw you. You pushed open the door to the restaurant and started back to your house.

You couldn’t believe what you just saw. What had you just saw? You tried to register it. One thing was sure, this added up with Kylo’s shady behavior the last two days. Now he was lying to you to go out with another woman. You couldn’t understand. Everything was perfect with him Saturday. His family had made you apart of them so fast. Yet they were all shocked to find out Kylo had a girlfriend at all, and he did mention a couple of times all he ever had were short flings. Was this how he handled things? Just ghosting out to be with someone else after telling someone he loved them?

Had you really missed all the signs here? It kept being said Kylo was different with you, but maybe he really wasn't. Maybe you had wanted this enough that you saw him not as he was. Blinded by love, that's what people say right? As you neared your house your phone buzzed wildly in your pocket but you ignored it. You didn’t spill a single tear until the door shut and when it did you leaned against it and let a week’s worth of emotion out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, dating Kylo is a rollercoaster 
> 
> Here's my "thank you for all the love" comment again but i do love hearing your thoughts so thank you <3
> 
> Once again the next post will be a book but it might be a couple of days til i can edit and post ! Have a great weekend!


	15. Because of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and smut and family love

It didn’t take long for Kylo to walk into your house after that. You hear the front door close while sat at your kitchen table, tears running down your face. This was all too much lately and once you started you couldn’t stop, But Kylo did. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw you.

“Baby. No. that was not what it looked like.” He started walking toward you, but you put your hands up and he stopped.

“I don’t need that speech Kylo, I know how that goes. Just give me back my key and go.” You tried to walk past him, but he blocked you.

“No. I’m serious. Let me explain this to you.” He stated.

But you didn’t let him get a second. “It is what it is Kylo. We weren't even together that long, I just wish you would have told me that’s what this was before you told me you loved me. I thought we were past the hot and cold bullshit. I thought-“

“Can you please just listen to me.” He yelled over you and you stepped back waiting for whatever bullshit excuse he was going to muster up. “That woman you saw me with is from the board of Education. Snoke’s retiring, well no. They’re forcing Snoke to retire and they want me to take over.”

“What?” You took any other step back.

“That’s where I’ve been all week. In meetings and interviews with them. All the phone calls and emails.” He stepped towards you.

“Why wouldn’t you just tell me that?” You searched his face.

He sighed stepping towards you more and you didn’t step back. “I didn’t want to tell you until I got the job, but I got the job.” He smiled and it warmed your heart to see him like this. So much that you didn’t even remember you were crying 5 seconds ago.

You wrapped your arms around him. “I’m so happy for you Kylo.”

“I’m so sorry I ever made you feel that I was doing something wrong. I just couldn’t tell you then disappoint you if I didn’t get it, but I couldn’t look you in the eyes all week knowing I was keeping this from you. I was excited about it, I wanted you to know. I was going to tell you tonight I couldn’t keep this from you anymore.” He said into your shoulder and you pulled back from him.

“You could never disappoint me.” You gave him a kiss. “But please don’t ever do that again.”

“I won’t. I’m sorry, I told you I wasn’t good at this.” He hugged around your waist. “I would never cheat on you. I love you so much.” You felt the tears start at the relief of his words and he pulled back slightly when one hit his neck. “No, baby don’t cry.”

“Sorry, I’m just- I really thought-“ You tried.

“No. No. I would never. I love you.” He said it again.

You pulled back and kissed him hard. He matched your kiss, walking you backwards and lifting you sit you on the kitchen counter. You shoved your tongue past his lips, needing him. He didn’t hesitate to pull your shirt over your head before hiking your skirt up to your hips. You quickly worked at the buttons of his shirt while you sucked at his neck and collar bone.

“Someone’s missed me.” He chuckled and the vibrations against your lips made you sigh into him. You nodded your head pulling his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. Once it was off he grabbed you off the counter, setting your feet on the floor. He reached his hand down, stroking his fingers over your clit. “Now, what makes you think you deserve this after what you accused me of tonight?”

You stuck your bottom lip out at him, and he laughed lightly. “Don’t pull that. What makes you think I want my cock inside you after you thought for one second I would fuck anything except this perfect pussy.” You purred at him as he slid two fingers inside you. “So tight and wet for me.” He said leaning down to plant kisses down your neck while his fingers worked you open. “You think I need more than this? Hmm?” He asked and you moaned at him in response.

You don’t know what came over you, or if your brain was even working at that point but you moaned out to him. “Please, _principle ren_.”

He paused, all movement of his hand stopped as he stared down at you with dark eyes, his hard cock popping though the side of his pants begging for you to let it out. You went to reach for his button but he pulled his finger out of you, quickly grabbing your hand to spin you around so your back was pressed against his chest. He held your arm by your lower back behind you as he pressed himself into your ass.

“What was that?” He growled out and it send chills through you.

“I said, Please Principle Ren!” You repeated.

“Please, what?” He said slowly.

“Please, fuck me.” You barley got the words out as he slammed your chest to the counter. You yelped when your bare skin hit the cold marble. He held you against it with the arm still pinned behind your back. You squirmed slightly and he pushed hard on your back. You could hear him working to undo his pants. He lined himself up with you, pausing for a moment. You tried to scoot back onto him, but you couldn’t move from his grip. A small laugh came from him when you whined. Without hesitation he slammed into you, digging your hips into the counter. You half gasped, half moaned at the pleasure mixing with the pain.

He pulled out slowly before slamming back into you again. “You think I could ever walk away from this?” He released his grip on your arm to move to your hair, locking his fingers against your scalp, never breaking the thrust in his hips against you. “You thought I would ever let anyone else inside this pussy?” He ripped your head back towards him and you screamed out, unable to control the string of curse words that came out as moans from your mouth. “That’s right. Tell me who’s pussy this is.”

“Yours!” You managed to scream. The pleasure of his thrusts and the pain in your hips pushing you to the edge.

“Fuck. Say it.” He demanded.

“Yours Principle Ren!” You moaned. He brought his other hand around to grab your hip, somehow going deeper into you. When he found your sweet spot you yelled out an noise that you wouldn’t say was human. He zeroed in on it, pounding straight into the spot until you were right on the edge. “Kylo.” You gasped out and he brought his hand around to rub over your clit.

“Cum for me baby. Tell everyone who’s you are.” He said and you did. Screaming his name over and over until it wasn’t a clear word anymore, you came hard around him. He didn’t stop or slow down. He pounded you into the marble until you were sure your hips were cracked. Finally his thrusts became sloppy until you felt ropes of his warm cum filling you up. He stilled inside you, both of you panting hard. After a while he slowly pulled out.

You gripped the edge of the counter to try to stand, almost falling when you did. Kylo caught you, putting one hand behind your back and the other under your knees. “I got you.” He said so sweetly you’d swear you’d turn to jelly in his arms. He took you up the steps, laying you on your bed before he started pulling clothes out of your drawers. Slipping on his sweats before sitting you up to help you put on one of his many shirts you now owned. Once it was done he went to get a wash cloth helping you clean up before throwing it into the growing laundry pile on the floor before coming to lay down next to you, pulling him into you. You sighed laying your head on his chest. After a long time in silence you turned to kiss his chest before looking back up to him. He watched you, one hand playing in your hair as the other moved to hold your face.

“I’m so proud of you.” You told him.

He smiled, leaning down to kiss you softly. “I’ve never heard that after sex before.”

Rolling your eyes, you playful slapped his chest. “I’m never complimenting you again.”

He rolled you both to you were on your back and he leaned over you. “Thank you. I’m so sorry I worried you.”

“It’s okay. I’ve never been so happy to be wrong.” You smiled at him. “So, what’s the plan with Snoke when are they going to have him retire?”

“Sometime after the fundraiser in January.” He shrugged lay back down.

“Wow. Principle Kylo Ren. Wait. Doesn’t that mean I’m dating my boss?” You teased.

He hummed at you. “I guess it does.”

You yawned, trying to stretch out your body but stopping when you felt the pain in your legs and hips. “Fuck.”

“Did I hurt you?” Kylo sat up, pulling the blanket back to look over you.

“I’m okay. I just hope I can walk tomorrow.” You told him, pulling the blanket back over you. “We have the showcase tomorrow night.”

He nodded. “I will carry you if I have too.”

You laughed at him. “As nice as that is, I think it would look very odd.”

Kylo smirked before he leaned down to kiss you. “What are they going to do? I’m about to be their boss too.”

You smiled, leaning your head back onto his chest. “I guess that’s true.” You agreed, letting your eyes flutter closed.

Kylo stroked your face slowly. “Get some sleep baby.” He kissed the top of your head before laying back on the pillow.

You nodded slowly to him before you let the darkness overtake you.

In the morning when you woke up Kylo was gone. Rolling over to check your phone you noticed a black key sat on top of your phone. You picked it up, eyeing it. It didn’t look like any of yours that could have fallen off the key ring. Swiping up your phone you saw four texts, one from Rose about the showcase, one from Poe about going out after and two from Kylo.

Kylo: Baby, I forgot to tell you I had my psych class out of the city this morning. I left you the key to my house. Head over whenever you want. I’ll drive us to the showcase tonight. I should be back at my house around 4

Kylo: PS. That’s your house key.

Smiling, you leap out of bed to at it to your key ring before sending heart emoji’s to Kylo. Laying around for a while, you slowly got yourself ready before heading to Kylo’s house. You laid out on the couch with a bowl of the yogurt you had left there last weekend until you came back.

“Now this is something I could get use too.” He smiled walking in the house.

“Hi love.” You stood to give him a kiss.

“Let me change and we can head over.” He walked back to his bedroom.

“Ah yes, let me take of this suit and put on another suit.” You teased him.

“I could wear nothing.” He called.

“I’d like that better anyways.” You grumbled and then yelped when he grabbed you from behind.

“You’re going to get in trouble.” He said against your ear.

You giggled to him. “That was fast.”

“I just meant I needed to change my shoes, not the whole suit.” He laughed. “You ready?”

Nodding you opened the door and walked out to his car.

Two hours later you watched from your seat in front row as James sung out and a smile broke out over your face. You felt so much pride of him as he walked back and forth across the stage and the chorus sung behind him. Kylo squeezed your hand as a medley of songs from Dear Evan Hansen rang through the auditorium. James sung above everyone, ending the song on a slow, long note.

When the music cut you were the first one on your feet, followed by a couple in the front row middle of the stage you assumed was James’ parents. Everyone in the room followed the same, the whole place echoing cheers. James smiled and waved to the couple before he turned straight to you and did the same. You waved back, smiling so hard your face hurt.

As soon as the house lights came up Kylo pulled you into him, you hugged him back so tight you thought you might crack his ribs. “I think someone wants to talk to you.” He turned you back around. James’ parents beelined for you and without warning his mom gave you a tight hug.

She laughed pulling back. “I’m so sorry. I’m Lori, James mom. This is my husband Qui-Gon”

“I figured as much. My name is Y/N, and this is my boyfriend Kylo Ren.” You smiled to Kylo who shook both their hands.

“Mr. Ren. You run the robotics club, right?” Qui- Gon asked him.

“I do.” Kylo nodded.

“Well, then I guess this is two birds with one stone.” Lori smiled. “We wanted to thank both of you, and Mr. Dameron. The beginning of this year we were very worried about James. It didn’t seem like he was making any friends. But because of the three of you helping guide him he’s doing wonderful.”

“We really appreciate it.” Qui-Gon added in.

“James is a great kid. He did all of this on his own. He just needed a little push.” You smiled to them and they hugged you again before going to find James.

You turned back to Kylo. “What did they mean you guiding him?”

Kylo shrugged. “At the beginning of the year I saw him drawling robotic parts with prices next to them. I may have suggested he join Robotics club.”

You couldn’t help but smile more at him, leaning up to kiss him. Once you did he wrapped an arm around your waist to guide you out the door. Once out the side door you spotted Rose and Finn.

“Hey!” Finn called to both of you. “Hey guys!”

“He was so good!” Rose said as you got closer.

“I know I’m so proud of him. His parents seemed really happy too.” You commented.

“They should be! He was awesome! Poe even talked him in to auditioning for the musical.” Finn said as the four of you started walking to the bar.

“Are you still helping them with that?” Kylo asked.

“Yeah she is!” Poe said walking up behind you guys.

“Hey Poe! The showcase was amazing!” You gave him a quick hug and Kylo stiffened slightly before you shot him a look.

“Okay!” Rose once you were all inside, seated at a table. Handing out drinks and shots to everyone. “Let’s make this the last moment we remember.”

And so it was. The five of you were joined by Hux an hour or so later but you barley remember seeing him. The only two things you remember were dancing around the bar with Rose as Kylo watched you with darkened eyes from his seat. You teased him, swaying your hips and grind against Rose as you both giggled. After some time you remember Kylo leading you back to his house as you attempted to make out with him the whole way. Then you woke up, the room to bright and your head pounding.

“Ugh.” You groaned rolling off the bed to make it to the bathroom before you puked in Kylo’s bed. After you empty your stomach, you sat back on the floor.

Kylo softly knocked on the door. “You okay?” He opened it slowly.

“Fucking Poe with his damn shot of tequila.” You whined. Kylo laughed, holding out his hand to help you up before leading you to the kitchen where he had water, toast and medicine laid out for you. “I love you.” You sighed to him before taking the medicine and guzzling the water.

What do you want to do today? Go ride a roller coaster? Maybe, check out that garage band down the street who’s base is always turned up way to loud?” Kylo teased you.  
  
“Very funny.” You told him rolling your eyes. “Or, you could come lay in bed with me all day.”  
  
Kylo stared at you for a second before he raced towards you, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder he carried you back into the bedroom as you giggled at him.  
  
  
The next day your hang over was still with you so all day you gave the kids silent reading. By the end of the day your headache was gone, and you could finally eat again as you fixed your lesson plan for the rest of the week. A soft knock at your door caught your attention. Looking up Kylo leaned against the door frame smiling at you. “You’re so beautiful when you’re concentrating.” He told you, making his way to your desk.  
  
You blushed standing to meet him. “Thank you love.”  
  
He pulled you to him and gave you a soft  
“Someone’s in a good mood.” You smiled when he pulled back.  
  
“There’s no reason not to be.” He leaned back in to kiss you.  
  
“I don’t think you’re supposed to just be making out in your classroom.” A voice echoed through the room.  
  
Both of you turned abruptly to the doorway to find Rey standing there.  
  
“Rey? What are you doing here?” You asked walking over to hug her.  
  
“I’m here to steal you!” She smiled.  
  
“Where are we going?” You looked back to Kylo who shrugged.  
  
“Well. The designer for my dress called and it’s ready to be tried on early, and i need you to come tell me if it’s awful.” She grabbed your hand.  
  
“Okay. Let me pack up my stuff and we can go.” You patted the top of her hand clutching yours and made your way to your desk.  
  
“I’ll take it.” Kylo said once you zipped your bag up.  
  
“What a gentleman.” Rey teased him. “Kylo, you’ll meet us for dinner after?” Rey asked him.  
  
“Of course. Just tell me where and when.” He took your bag from you and gave you a small kiss. “You ladies have fun.”

Walking into the designer’s studio you were shocked by all the beautiful gowns hung on four or five racks. The lady greeted Rey and she introduced you, to which the woman also gave you a hung.

“Okay.” The woman clapped. “I have you set up in my dressing room, yell for me when you need me to button you up.”

Rey smiled, leading you to the chair outside the curtain of the dressing room. “No peeking” She squealed before shutting the curtain. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound rustling of fabric before she yelled through the curtain. “So, how’s it going with my future brother in law?”

You smiled to yourself at the mere thought of Kylo. “It’s going really great actually.”

“Good.” Rey peeked her head out. “Because if he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”

You laughed at her, shaking your head as she went back to changing. After another minute she called for the designer. After another minute she pulled back the curtain and stepped out. Your mouth dropped when you saw her. The dress was slim fit. It had long lace sleeves with a matching high neckline. Her back was exposed but the bottom of her back had buttons in the fabric. The fabric was long and it laid beautifully around her feet.

“So?!” She asked, spinning around for you.

“Holy. Shit.” You picked up your jaw from the floor.

“What?! Is to much? Because I can have the lace taken off, I don’t really want a strapless dress, but if you think it’s better.” She rambled.

“You look stunning. This dress is perfect. I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride.” You looked over her, eyes wide until you looked back into her.

Her smile was so large you knew her face had to hurt. “Really?”

You nodded quickly to her. “Yes. Yes. A million times yes.”

She smiled before turning to look at herself. “I love it.”

“Ben is so lucky.” You told her and she smiled to you again.

“Okay.” She stepped towards you. “Your turn.”

“My turn?” You laughed.

“Yes, there is a dress in there I had made, we may need to alter it but go, go!” She pushed you into the dressing room.

Inside you saw a navy blue, long dress. You shook your head but decided just to try it on anyways. Rey wasn’t one to take no for an answer. When you put it on you stepped out and Rey smiled from ear to ear again. “So?! What do you think?”

You turned to look in the mirror next to you. It was beautiful dress that somehow fit you perfectly. The closer you looked at the dress the more something dawned on you. “Rey.” You turned back to look at her. “This is a bridesmaids dress.”

She gave you a soft smile. “Yeah, look. I know this is a little forward and sure you and Kylo haven’t been together that long but I really see you guys being married one day so I’m not worried about the photo’s or anything so I wanted to ask you if you would be my bridesmaid. If you wanted to be.”

You stared at her in disbelief before turning to look at herself in the mirror again. “Rey.” You said before turning back around to her. She looked at you, anticipation clear on her face. “I would love to be your bridesmaid.” You said and a tear rolled down your cheek.

“Seriously?!” Rey jumped to you, throwing her arms around you. “You don’t think it’s weird I asked you? I was so nervous you thought it would be weird.”

“No!” You shook your head. “You guys have been nothing but loving and accepting me into your family as if you’ve all known me for years I just can’t figure out why.”

“You really want to know?” Rey asked stepping back.

“Please.” You swiped at your face.

Rey took a deep breath. “Honestly, you’re such an amazing person and you do fit right in, we’ve all agreed how much we love you. For me, your like a friend, or sister I always wanted. But I think for Ben, Leia and Han it’s the way Kylo is around you. We’ve never seen him like this with anyone. He and Ben were so close growing up but we’ve never seen him so….. soft. So open with anyone. For them, you brought him back to the family. I think they would give you a kidney if you asked.” She joked.

Your heart swelled so much you thought it would burst. All you could do was nod and smile at her. She smiled back, hugging you again. “Okay, lets change so we can go eat.”

After you both were back in your clothes you sent Kylo the address of wherever Rey was taking you. When you pulled up you were surprised to see both clones standing outside the restaurant. Stepping out you realized they were both wearing similar clothing, jeans and a black t-shirt. Neither of them stepped towards either of you. Rey smiled at you, crossing her arms over her chest. “Is this funny to you two? You look like all your baby pictures.”

“I want to see those.” You laughed. “Okay, so what’s this about.”

“Well.” One of them started. “One of you has been in a relationship with one of us for a while now.”

“And one of you is about to marry the other.” The other clone said. “So we just wanted to see if you both could really tell us apart.”

“But then we thought it’s a pretty unfair game because I’m assuming Rey had already figured it out.” The first one stated.

“Yeah, before I even got out of the car.” She smiled.

“So. Y/N. That leaves you.” The second said.

“This is a trap.” You laughed as you stepped closer to them. Looking at their faces it freaked you out how similar they were. Exactly copies. But as you looked closer you knew right away which one was Kylo, you’d know his eyes anywhere, the way he looked at you was unmatched to the way anyone ever looked at you in your life, even as he tried to keep his face neutral his eyes gave him away. Still you thought you’d have some fun. You walked around them so their backs were to you and shot a wink to Rey.

“Hmmmm.” You faked walking back around. You narrowed your eyes at them. “See. This would be much easier with shirts off.” You watched as Ben held his tongue and Rey laughed to you. “But,” You got up on your tippy toes in front of Ben leaning close to his ear. You saw Kylo’s shoulders straighten the closer you got to his brother. You got so close you thought Ben was going to push you away, but he remained statue still as his eyes widen to Rey. “I knew who you were the second I looked into your eyes.” You whispered loud enough for Kylo to hear. You laughed and pushed Ben away from you. Turning to Kylo you stuck your tongue out. “Nice try love.”

He jumped, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Told you Ben.” He stated before pulling you into a big, wet kiss.

“Okay. Okay. I get it.” Ben shoved you both lightly.

“She really had you guys going. You should have seen Kylo’s face.” Rey laughed.

“Kylo? I thought Ben’s eyes were going to pop out of his head.” You joked back.

“Whatever. Can we go eat now? I’m starving.” Ben begged before leading you all inside.

Kylo stopped you outside before you could follow, giving you another kiss. “Did you really know right away?”

“Kylo, I could pick you out of 100 clones.” You kissed him again.

“I love you so much.” He said opening the door for you.

“I love you too babe.” You smiled, walking to go meet Rey and Ben at the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't even try to tell me the solo boys wouldn't do something like that, because you know they were the twins in school to switch clothes and trick their teachers. lol
> 
> Hope everyone is having a happy weekend. 
> 
> Thanks for all the love! I love hearing from you :)
> 
> Next up more fluff and smut and then uhhhh not so much ;) 
> 
> thanks for reading!


	16. The start of winter break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big news for Kylo and then some family time!

The weeks flew by in a blink. 90% of the days looking like a carbon copy of the one before. During the week you’d walk back to Kylo’s after school and stay the night there. Only going to your house once a week to get mail. You had brought your plants over, along with most of your closet in that time. The weekends were spent with Rose, Finn, Poe and Kylo. Rey and Ben stopped down once as well and you both went with them for wedding things. It wasn’t long until the end of November was approaching.  
  
Thursday night before winter break you sat on Kylo’s couch flipping through movies on his TV while he made something in the kitchen that was making your stomach growl. You smiled when he brought you a bowl of chicken and dumplings, giving him a kiss as he sat next to you.

“Okay, what do you want to watch?” You flipped through the comedy section.

“Stop! That.” He pointed to the tv at an Adam Sandler movie. “Everyone’s always quoting it and I never know what they’re talking about.”

“If you insist.” You clicked the movie and waited as it loaded up.

You weren’t even past the credits when Kylo’s phone rang. He grumbled leaning forward to fish it out of his back pocket and gave the phone a surprised look when he saw the screen. “Hello?” There was a woman talking for a second on the other side. Kylo looked over before holding the phone out to you. “It’s for you.”

Slowly you took the phone, holding it to your ear. “Um, Hello?”

“Y/N!” Leia’s voice came through the phone. “Will you please go pack your and my son’s bags and come here for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh, uh.” You looked over to Kylo who staring at you, a questioning look on his face. “Have you mentioned this to him?”

She laughed. “No, that’s why I’m talking to you! My son works constantly and knowing him he’ll work through his thanksgiving break but if you tell him to come, I know he will. Even if he won’t then you just book a flight and come by yourself.”

You laughed lightly to her. “I will do my best.”

“Great! You both can stay here we have plenty of room, although knowing my son he’ll try to book a hotel.” You could hear the eyeroll in her voice. “Tell Kylo to give you my number and let us know the plans.”

“I will do that, thank you Leia.” She gave you a warm farewell before hanging up.

You handed Kylo back his phone as he continued to stare at you. “Want to tell me what that was about?”

“Oh, nothing. We’re just going to your parents’ house for Thanksgiving.” You shrugged getting off the couch to move to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry we’re what?” He followed you.

You fished his suitcase out of his closet, making your point to him. “Yeah. I figure fly out Sunday and fly back Friday. Your mom said we can stay with them but if you want, we can get a hotel.”

“I don’t think I agreed to this.” Kylo crossed his arms, leaning against the wall.

You smiled to yourself, back to him. “Well, that’s fine. She said I can come alone.”

Kylo was silent from the doorway before he stepped towards you groaning. “I’ll book the flights.” He rumbled, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You turned in his arms to face him. “Really?”

“Really.”

You leaned up to kiss him but before you could reach his lips, he threw you back onto the bed. “You’re a brat you know that?”

You bounced slightly, smiling back to him. “But I’m _your_ brat.”

He slowly made his way to the bed, leaning over you. “That you are.”

You smiled into his kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Do you want to go watch that movie now or….”

“Move in with me.” He said casually.

Being caught off guard you couldn’t stop the word coming out of your mouth. “What?”

“Move in with me.” He said again and you stared at him.

You laughed out loud, smile coming over your face. “Kylo, we’ve been dating for basically three months.”

“But I’ve been wanting you for much longer than that.” He kissed your neck.

Pushing him back you have him a pointed look. “You’re not going to seduce me into this.”

“You spend all your time here anyways. Most of your stuff is here too. Seriously I doubt there is much left at your house for you too even move in.” 

“Kylo this is a big choice. We should talk further about it.” You stood from the bed to walk back into the kitchen, trying to get a little bit of clairty.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about.” He followed you. “I love you. You basically already live here so let’s just make it official.”

You stare at him across the kitchen. “This is what you really want?”

He crossed over to you in two long strides. “Yes, but only if you want it.”

“Okay.” You agreed. He smiled, putting his arms around you, kissing across your hairline.

“But under one condition.” You teased.

He stepped back. “Name it and it’s yours.”

“We have to stay at your parents’ house when we go.” You smirked to him.

You watched him roll his eyes so far back into his head he probably saw his brain. “Fine.”

Your smile widened, leaning up to kiss him. “Well then we have a deal, roommate.”

He smiled to then before picking you up to throw you back down on the couch.  
  
Friday morning Kylo insisted on driving you to work, as he would be leaving after school to have a meeting with the board of education and then the director of the program he taught his psych class was at, having moved everything from next week to today so you both could leave Sunday afternoon. You went through the normal school day with no interruptions, and when it ended you packed up as normal until Poe came skipping into your room.  
  
“Howdy!” He yelled while plopping on your couch.  
  
“Well hello.” You slung your bag over your shoulder. “How can I help you today?”  
  
“Actually, I just wanted to stop by and remind you the Thursday we get back is musical auditions.” Poe jumped back up once he realizing you were leaving.  
  
“I remember I got it written down. January 7th.” You tapped your finger against the large calendar on your desk. “I can’t believe we’re about to have a little over a month off. I would have killed for this kind of break in school as a kid.”  
  
“I know! But they make up for it with those shorter summer breaks.” Poe laughed while he followed you to the front door of the school, pausing outside. “You headed back to Kylo’s again?”  
  
“I kind of live there now.” You started for the stairs.  
  
“You moved into his house?” Poe stopped outside the door.  
  
“Well, I mean no but officially tomorrow I will have. Why?” You narrowed your eyes at him.  
  
“No, no. Kylo just didn’t seem like the type before but. Idk with you it’s like watching a new person.” Poe gave you a small smiled which you returned. “I was going to ask how it was going but that answers that I guess.”

“I guess it does.” You couldn’t help but smile so wide your cheeks hurt.  
  


The walk to Kylo’s house, your soon house was a little longer than the walk to your house had been. The perk of that being you pasted a grocery store now. Going in you decided that you would surprise Kylo with dinner since usually he was the one to cook. You got back to his house and set to work on peeling the potatoes you’d bought while you stuck two steaks in a marinade. By the time he came home when you were almost done, just needed his help with the grill. But when you turned back to jokingly yell surprise his face was stone.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Your brows knitted together.  
  
“We need to talk.” He showed no emotion. You searched his face for a clue but got nothing from him. Then a thought hit you like a bus, bring a laugh from somewhere deep inside you. Finally Kylo’s composer broke, giving you a questioning look.

  
“You regret asking me to move in, right? It’s been not even 24 hours and you’re totally freaking out.” You started to make your way to his room, fully prepared to have to grab as much of your things as possible.

“Baby.” He grabbed your arm to stop you. “Why would I have asked you to move in only to kick you out the next day? I actually booked a moving truck to help you move Saturday since I won’t be there.” He placed a hand on your face, his other pulling you to his chest. “You have to stop waiting for me to change my mind. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”  
  
You sighed into his chest, breathing him in for a moment. “Then what’s going on?”  
  
“They want me to go observe the board of Education in Chicago. They want my input-on issues and policy changes.”  
  
“Oh. Uh, that’s great Kylo.” You smiled looking up at him as he smoothed your hair slowly.  
  
“Yes. But I have to go to Chicago.” He grumbled.

“I thought as much.” The look on his face gave you a realization. “For how long?”

He paused the hand in your hair, bringing it down to your hip. “4 months.”  
  
“When?”  
  
His hand was in a fist next to your hip. “January. They want me before I take over Supremacy. I will leave after Ben and Rey’s wedding. On the 3rd actually.” You hummed at him and he placed a finger under your chin to lift your eyes to him. “What are you thinking?” He asked.  
  
You bit the inside of your cheek. The thought of Kylo bring gone so long made your insides turn, but you knew this man. If you cried in front of him, he would cancel it all. “I think I’m really proud of you and all you’re doing lately. But that I’m really, really going to miss you for four months.” Your voice broke at the end. Really you didn’t want Kylo to go. You wanted to wrap yourself around him and make him stay forever, but you knew he worked so hard for everything that was happening to him and you felt lucky to be a part of that. “I know you have some really great idea that could help, so you should do this. I’ll be here when you get back to _our_ home.”  
  
Kylo’s eyes danced when that. “I love hearing those words from you.” He kissed the top of your head. “I will miss you more. But there’s weekends you can come see me, and a few I can come home. So really the last month is the hardest but hopefully I can get done early and be home by then.” He hugged you tight.

“Who will take over your classes and the robotics club?”

Kylo rubbed small circles with his thumb into your back. “I’ll have to interview people to take over my position, so now would be a good time to do that anyway.”  
  
You nodded into his chest. “I am really proud of you.”  
  
“I know baby, I know.” He moved you back so both of you laid on the bed.  
  
“We need to eat.” You told him, remembering the food in the kitchen.  
  
“We will.” Kylo kissed the top of your forehead. “Just, give me another minute like this, since I’ll have to be savoring every second now.”

Saturday Kylo was teaching his last psych class for the foreseeable future. You on the other hand were walking around your house stuffing things into boxes you’d picked up that morning all while directing the movers where things needed to go. It was well past dinner time and you had mostly everything done by time you heard Kylo walk through the door.

Kylo walked in, obviously having gone home to change as he stood in jeans and a t-shirt. “Wow. I came to help but it looks like you don’t need any.”

“I know, I know. But you were right.” You taped up another box.

“I like hearing that, but about what now?” He took the box you were taping and placed it on the stack of others.

“Most of my clothes and books have already made their way to your house. The smaller truck outside is all I’m taking.” You taped another box.

“Hmm. There is one thing we need to talk about, the furniture.” He looked around at the empty house

Avoiding his eyes as you cleared your throat. “Oh. I got a storage unit for anything I wanted to keep. The movers already took it over.”

“Oh.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“Listen, it’s not that I think this isn’t a forever thing or something.” You told him, walking over to put your arms around him. “I love you more than anything, but I’ve worked hard for how far I am now. I just hate to let my feelings set me back to where I started if anything ever did happen.”

Kylo wrapped his arms around you. “I understand.”

“You do?”

He nodded. “I do.”

“Thank you.” You leaned up to give him a kiss. “Okay. I need to load up some of these boxes and grab my cases from upstairs.”

“You get the cases; I’ll load the boxes.” He kissed the top of your forehead. “But don’t take too long, we don’t have a lot of time.”

“For what?” You stepped back from him.

He grabbed your face in one hand, squishing your cheeks stepping close so his face was aligned with yours. His voice low even with no one around. “I’m about to spend five day in my parents’ house, surrounded by people. That is five nights I know I won’t get to fuck you. So that is five times I’m going to make you cum tonight.”

You swallow thickly, trying your best to nod in his grip. “Good girl.” He let go of your face to slap your ass before you turned to run up the stairs.

When you came back down with the last of your things Kylo had all the boxes loaded between both of your cars. You stood in the middle of your very empty house and a small sad sigh escaped your lips.

“You okay?” Kylo asked, coming to grab the boxes out of your hands.

“Yeah, It was just. I was so excited to get this place before I came. I spent months thinking of all the ways I could redecorate it, but I never did.” You told him, still looking around.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Something distracted me.” You winked to him and he smiled.

“You ready?” He asked kissing the top of your head.

“Yeah.” You leaned into him. “Let’s go home.”

The next morning you woke up, to boxes. Half empty, half still full all scattered around Kylo’s house. You had wanted to get as much put away as possible before leaving today so you wouldn’t come home to a mess, but after 2 straight hours of unpack everything you had just packed earlier that day Kylo had forced you into the shower then into bed while he promised you’d do it the weekend you got back.

You sat and sipped coffee watching as Kylo all but ran around his house like a mad man, checking and double checking he had everything. You smiled into your cup as you watched, knowing that really he was nervous to spend the first holiday back with his family. Once he was done fussing with things, he stopped in front of you in the kitchen and you smiled at him.

“What?” He asked. You’d never heard the man winded, but he sounded completely out of breath to you.

“Baby. It’s going to be fine.”

He looked wild. “I know that. Do I not look fine to you?”

You could only laugh at him. “Come here.”

You lead him over to a box you had left on the coffee table. You pulled out the yellow vase he had given you. “Where should we put this?”

His brows knitted together as he looked between the vase and you. His face softened the more he watched your smile. “I think I know where.”

He took the vase, walking over to his bookshelf which was now overrun with your books as well as his. Placing the vase dead center, he turned back to you.

“Perfect.” You said, smiling as he walked back over to kiss you.

“Yes, you are.” He purred into your mouth before sighing and running his hand through his hair. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.” He opened the front door for you while grabbing both your bags.

“Wow, what a way to start off trip.” You teased at his pessimistic attitude.

“Oh, you just wait and see.” He told you before bending down to give you another kiss. “Just wait until you meet my whole family.”

You stopped outside the car door. “Whole family?”

Kylo studies your face before breaking out into a full smile. “Mom didn’t tell you they invite extended family to these things, did she?” You shook your head at him, and he laughed that beautiful laugh of his. “Oh, I totally got the better part of this deal.”

The plane ride and car ride to Han and Leia’s did little to calm your nerves, even after Kylo had ordered you three strong drinks, your adrenaline ate them up. You bounced your leg in the back of whatever town car Kylo had scheduled to pick the two of you up in. He placed his hand on your knee and squeezed.

“I can still get a hotel if that will help. It will give us a place to escape if this becomes to much.” He had been trying to convince you on getting a room at the hotel near by ever since he agreed to come. At the time you thought staying in the same house would give him more time with his family, but you hadn’t thought about the fact you might be overwhelmed.

Sighing, you shook your head. “No, it’s fine. I already told Rey and Leia we’d stay.”

He leaned in to give you a kiss. “You’ll let me know if you change your mind?”

“I will.” You told him and he gave you a pointed look. “I promise. I’m fine.” You said the words but you yourself didn’t believe them.

You stared in awe as you pulled up to the house. It could only be what you would describe as a mansion. The driveway seemed to go on forever and beautiful landscape went on around you endlessly. The driver pulled up to the steps leading to the massive front door. Before either of you stepped out of the car Rey, Leia and Ben were on the porch.

“Hey!” Rey half ran down the stairs to hug you before you even got out of the car. She leaned in and whispered to you. “Thank god you’re staying here too. I was about to be so mad at both of you if you caved and got a hotel.”

You laughed pulling back from her, keeping your voice low. “Nope. We’re all hear together.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Rey smirked before Leia nudged her out the of way to hug you.

“Hello dear. We’re so happy you’re here.” Leia told you pulling back from her hug.

“Happy to be here.” You smiled at her.

“Hey big bro. Long time no see!” Ben yelled to Kylo, walking up to help him with the suitcases.

“Yeah. For I while there I thought you Rey were going to move in.” Kylo joked, coming over to greet Leia. “Hi mom. Where’s dad?”

“Oh, you know him. Finishing up work, he’ll be down. Why don’t you guys go get settled and we’ll eat in a hour or so.” She gave you both a smile.

“Anyone else here?” Kylo asked Ben as the walked into the house.

“Not til Wednesday this year apparently.” Ben gave him a look.

“Wonder why.” Kylo rolled his eyes.

You on the other hand were frozen in place looking around the entry way of the house. The floors were beautiful marble. To your right a large dining room and to your left an even larger sitting room. The ceilings were so high you could barely believe there was an upstairs and a large beautiful staircase that started on the left wall outside the sitting room and wound around to the center with a large archway at the top.

Kylo stopped at the bottom of the stairs to smirk at you. “You like it?”

“I can’t believe you lived here.” You stared wide eyes at him.

He chuckled at you before nodding for you to follow him. “Let me show you our home for the next 5 days.”

Walking up the massive staircase Kylo made an immediate left into the hallway which then branched into two smaller hallways on either side. Going to the end of the hall he opened the door there and gestured for you to go in. You did, stopping again to look around. His room was as impressive to you as the rest of the house. It was large, high ceilings with two doors off to the side. “This is my teenage bedroom.”

You looked around, noticing there wasn’t very many personal things left in the room. “Were you not aloud to hang posters or something? My ‘teenage bedroom’ has like 15 panic at the disco posters covering a wall.”

“I was never one to hang things on the walls that weren’t framed.” He admitted. “Anything I wanted I took when I left.”

You looked back to him for a minute, knowing how hard it had to be for him to be here for the first time. Eventually you looked back to the two doors and pointed. “Is one of them your own bathroom?”

“On the right. Left is a closet.” He nodded.

“And Ben’s room?” You asked.

“The other hallway.”

“And your parents?” You walked around the room.

“Other end of the house.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Wow, I bet teenage Kylo had some fun in here.”

He stared at you before he laughed and shut the door behind him. “Come here.”

He led you into the bathroom, which of course was also huge. A large tub sat next to a shower stall. There was a wall separating both from the sink and the actual toilet was in a separate smaller room like a hotel. You walked up to look at the massive tub and shower, noting the shower had rain-shower heads on the ceiling.

“Oh yeah. Teenage Kylo had a lot of fun in here.” You winked at him.

He took two large strides towards you to close the distance between you two. “Actually. I never had a chance to do anything in here.” He purred in your ear.

You smiled against his cheek. “I’m guessing you want to change that?”

Kylo stood back watching your face before his lips were on you. Both of your anxieties clashing together, needed to release them on each other. Just as Kylo put his hand on the back of your neck and you slipped your tongue through his teeth there was a knock at Kylo’s door. He growled stepping back from you. “Told you it’s going to be five days.”

You laughed as you followed him back into the main room. When he opened the door, Han stood on the other side. “Hey guys. Sorry I missed you coming in, but I thought I’d show Y/N around.”

“That sounds great.” You smiled to him making your way to the door.

Kylo grabbed your hand following behind Han as you walked throughout the house. It seemed even bigger on the inside than it had the outside. More rooms and bathrooms than you could count. Even a small third floor with three rooms there as well. Once you had walked around the entire house Han lead you both back to the main floor where Leia and Rey were setting up dinner.

“How can I help?” You asked walking into the massive kitchen off the dining room while Kylo and Han went to talk to Ben in the sitting room.

“Here, put these on the table.” Leia said, gesturing to a number of platters with food sitting on the island.

After you and Rey had all the food on the table Kylo, Ben and Han came to sit. Leia and Rey soon following. Kylo kissed your cheek as he scooted his chair in next to you. Everyone stared eating, making light conversation about work and life. Rey and Ben explaining more things they had gotten done with wedding planning. You joked about awesome their month long honeymoon was going to be and Rey looked up at you from her finished plate.

“Ben and I were just talking about how after we get back, we should take a trip together. The six of us I mean.” She included Han and Leia with a smile.

“That would be fun.” Han agreed.

Kylo shifted in his seat. “It does, but it might have to wait a little longer.” All eyes around the table were on Kylo as he spoke. “I have some business in Chicago I have to attend, and I’ll be there until April at the lastest.”

Everyone seemed to be looking between the two of you. Ben was surprisingly the first to speak up. “Are you going with him?”

“Oh, no. I still have to teach.” You kept your stare at your plate pushing around the food.

“Long distance can be hard on a relationship.” Han said, and when you looked up you couldn’t quite understand the look he was giving Kylo.

Before Kylo had time to reply, or get angry with his families prying you squeezed his hand under the table and softly smiled, looking around. “Four months really isn’t long, and since we live together it would be much harder for him to get rid of me.”

“You moved in to Kylo’s?” Rey asked, her big smile plastered on her face.

“Yesterday actually.” Kylo told her.

“Yeah, so. It’s going to be fine. It he wants me out he’ll have to evict me.” You joked.

That seemed to calm the questioned down and you were thankful, not really wanting to think about Kylo leaving anymore than you had too. After dinner everyone helped clean up before Han, Ben and Kylo disappeared again. After sitting and talking with Rey and Leia for a while you hugged them goodnight, thanking Leia for letting you stay again and headed to get ready for bed.

You had been laying there for at least an hour with no sign of Kylo when there was a soft knock at the door. Slowly you crawled out of the bed, putting on some sweatpants to answer it. Rey stood fully dressed on the other side. Peeking over you she eyed around the room. “So, they’re both still gone huh?”

“It would appear so.” You laughed.

Rey clicked her tongue. “Get dressed. Meet me outside in 5.” She turned without another word and jogged back to her room. You made quick work of throwing on jeans and one of Kylo’s black hoodies before silently making your way down the stairs and out the front door. The whole house seemed asleep, yet it was only 10pm. You waited at the front steps for only a second before Rey came out behind you. “Follow me.” She half whispered as she quickly walked to the 15-car garage behind the house. You both slipped in the side door and Rey walked over to the buttons on the wall, opening one of the doors.

“Uh, are we stealing a car?” You whispered asked her, as if anyone could hear you guys.

“Borrowing.” She smiled, dangling keys in front of you. “This one.” She nodded her head to a jeep, and you climbed in the passenger side.

“Why do I feel like we’re making a jail break?” You asked her as she started up the car.

“Because if we told anyone we were leaving they’d ask questions, and I am not trying to provide answers.” She told you.

“Why? Where are we going?” You looked at her confused.

She pulled down the driveway and into the street before looking back to you smiling. “Honeymoon shopping.”

And Honeymoon shopping it was. You walked through the parking lot with Rey into what appeared to be a sex shop. It’s bright flashing neon sign blinding you as you got closer to the door. Luckily for you the parking lot was completely empty besides one other car.

“Why are you so red?” Rey asked opening the door.

“I uh- I’ve never been to one of these.” You admitted.

Rey’s wide smile broke her face. “Oh, this just got so much better.”

It was the truth, the only kind of place like this you’d been in was a Spencer’s. Rey on the other hand seemed like she knew her way around the shop easy. Showing you different toys as you both went. Nothing seemed to pique your interest until you stopped in front of a pair of handcuffs, considering for a minute. “Do we have a winner?” Rey asked coming up next to you.

“I don’t know. We don’t do things like this.” You told her.

“Well, is it something you think you’d like? That he would like?”

“I think so?” You looked at her then back to the handcuffs.

“Are you asking or are you telling?” Rey laughed lightly. “Listen, get them. If it’s not your thing, then it’s not your thing. But maybe you like it and then you ask me to bring you back here, or better. Kylo brings you back here.” She winked.

After walking through the store, Rey had picked up a few things and you did your best not to look. You weren’t very interested in knowing what Ben was into. Once at the checkout Rey handed you two more things. “Here. To go with the handcuffs.”

You eyed her and then the toy and blindfold she handed you. “Just trust me.”

“Fine.” You said. The nice woman checking you out placed everything in a box for you then a plain black bag. After paying you both skipped back to the car giggling like teenagers.

The whole ride back you and Rey sang along to the radio, finally feeling your nervousness sliding off your shoulders. Around 11 you pulled the jeep back into the garage, shut the door and snuck back into the house.

“God, I feel 17 again.” Rey said as the two of you half crept/half walked to the front door.

“You were sneaking in here at 17?” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t be dumb. We had a latter we used, and I snuck through the window.” She laughed, and so did you.

That was until you opened the front door to find Ben and Kylo standing at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed. They both looked half worried, half amused. “Where have you two been?” Ben asked.

“Mind your business, Ben.” Rey smiled at him, shaking the black bag in her hand to him. He seemed to catch on quick looking between you and Rey before down to your own bag. Your face burned red as he laughed.

“Alright well on that note. I’m going to bed.” He reached his hand out to Rey who hopped over to him, following him up the stairs. 

Once they disappeared you looked back to Kylo. He stood, staring at you. His face was stone, but you couldn’t see his eyes in the dimly lit entry way. “I feel like I’m missing something here.”

“Oh, um. We just went shopping.” You sputtered out.

“At 9:30 at night?” He asked, stepping towards you.

“Yes. But it’s for the wedding so you can’t peak.” You tried.

Kylo towered over you and you could finally see the amusement in his eyes as he nodded. He leaned down and you thought for a second he would kiss you, but instead he moved his lips gently over your cheek to your ear. “That’s fine. But I know where that bags from.”

You sucked in a breath as he pulled back. Taking your hand, he led you back to his room. Once you were there you put the bag in the bottom of your suitcase before slipping back into your big shirt and panties. “Where were you? Earlier before I left. You were gone for a while.”

You head Kylo still inside the bathroom before continuing whatever he was doing. “Ben and I were just talking to dad about some stuff outback.”

You made a noise of acknowledgement to him as you climbed into bed. You started dozing off as you felt him come in behind you, kissing a line along your neck. You hummed to him and he pulled you back against his chest. Neither of you said anything else as you slowly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. Here's the deal- or i guess the plan.  
> This chapter was supposed to be all week of thanksgiving, i spent 4 days writing and editing it only to realize it was SO LONG, i had to cut it in two, Which is why "smut" (if it can be called that, I think it's not very good still) is not in this chapter. 
> 
> Also, the next chapter was going to Christmas/wedding/Kylo leaving but that will now be pushed back obviously sooooooo.
> 
> I hope you guys are liking it so far your kudos and comments will never stop making my days better ❤️
> 
> See ya real soon :)


	17. Not so happy almost thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Family members who do not take peoples mental health seriously. 
> 
> I have a star at the part you need to stop reading at if that is an issue, so you don't miss out of the fluff, and smut and bar flights :)

In the morning you woke up to Kylo kissing your neck and shoulder, slowly coaxing you from your sleep. You smiled to him before your eyes were even fully open. “Morning.”

“Morning baby.” He said lowly into your ear. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

“No but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.” You leaned up to kiss him but his hand on your shoulder hand you pinned.

He slowly dragged the tip of his nose up your neck. “I know what I want for breakfast.” He said next to your ear before working his mouth onto yours. You flicked your tongue over his, causing his hips to jerk towards you. You could feel his erection through his boxers on you thigh. It hadn’t even been 24 hours and you could tell how desperate he was. He was starting to kiss his way down your body when a knock at the door paused him at your stomach. Kylo groaned before yelling. “Yeah?” Not bothering to get up.

“Hey guys, Leia has breakfast all set up. Come down before it gets cold.” Han said.

“Okay.” Kylo said flatly to him before turning back to lay his head on you. “It’s going to be every time.”

You giggled, flipping the covers off you to stand up to get dressed. Once you were done in the bathroom you made your way over to the drawers Kylo had put your stuff into. As you were about to throw on shorts and a t-shirt a thought crossed your mind. Looking back to make sure Kylo was still in the bathroom, you pulled out one of your favorite sundresses you had brought. It was the perfect dress. It was long enough and covered you so it was family friendly, but if you moved a certain way or crossed your legs just right when you sat it would be just short enough to drive Kylo insane, and since you figure he couldn’t do much to you for the next three day you decided to push your luck.

You left the room before he was out of the bathroom and found Rey in the hallway waiting for you. She groaned seeing you. “Tell me we weren’t the only one’s cock-blocked this morning.”

Laughing, you shook your head. “It’s like they have a sixth sense for it. Kylo said it would be a dry couple of days.”

Making your way to the steps Rey groaned again. “They were the same way in high school, and no one even knew Ben and I were anything but friends back then.” Both of you shared a knowing look when you saw Ben at the bottom of the steps, which caused you to burst out laughing.

“You too then?” Ben smirked and you nodded. “Get use to it.”

“So I’ve been told.” You playfully rolled your eyes playfully.

All three of you laughed and Han turned to look at you. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing Dad.” Ben shook his head moving into the dining room.

A few minutes later Kylo finally walked into the dining room, pulling the chair out next to you. You crossed your legs under the table as he sat, which pulled your dress up a little too far just as you wanted. As he placed a hand on your thigh out habit you saw his jaw clench when he felt bare skin. Kylo side eyed you and you hid your smile in a muffin.

“Any plans for the day?” Leia asked the table.

“I thought Ben, Kylo and I could take Y/N into town later.” Rey replied between bites of her eggs.

“That’s such a great idea. You’ll have to let them show you around, it’s such a beautiful little town.” Leia told you.

You nodded to her, taking a drink to clear your throat while giving an eye to Rey. “I feel like I’ve already seen so much already.”

Kylo squeezed your thigh and Ben choked slightly on his orange juice, covering it with a cough. “Wrong pipe.”

Rey hide her laugh while you bit your tongue. Leia and Han shot each other questioning looks, but thankful didn’t ask anymore questions. After breakfast was done, Ben and Rey beat Kylo in excusing themselves. Making up something about talking to the wedding planner and they’d be back when they were done. Rey winked at you once she was out of view of the others and you bit back your laugh. You and Kylo helped Leia and Han clean up the table before the four of you settled into the living room.

“Kylo tells me you’re an avid reader.” Han said, putting his arm around the back of the couch around Leia.

You couldn’t help but notice the way it mimicked Kylo’s around you. “Yes. Books were always a great escape for me growing up. It’s most of the reason I became an English teacher.”

“Kylo was that way as a teenager.” Leia smiled. “Also had a knew book. It seemed he could read them in a day.”

“He has a very impressive collection at home.” You said and you couldn’t not notice her smile widen a little more when you called his house home.

Kylo’s fingers brushed over your bare shoulder as he slightly turned to you. “You think I have a lot you should see Dads.”

“Big reader?” You asked Han.

Han gave you a small nod. “I was. Not much time now a days.”

“He has a whole library in his office.” Kylo said, his fingers having stilled on your shoulder.

“That’s amazing.” You smiled widened.

“You should go check it out.” Han told you.

“Is that okay?” You questioned.

“Yeah. Yeah. Go.” Han waved you off.

You looked back to Kylo and he gave you a small kiss on your cheek. “I’m right behind you.”

You didn’t hesitate to start towards the office. Han had showed you his office was the first night he showed you around with Kylo, but looking at all the doors, they all looked the same. The first one you opened was to a bathroom, the second an art room. Beautiful paintings and drawings where placed around the room on the walls, and on canvas’. You spend little time checking them out as to not get caught prying.

“Third times the charm.” You joked to no one as you opened a third door, finally finding Hans office.

Only when you stepped in you thought for a second Kylo was standing at his dad’s desk with his back to you. You brain skipped as you couldn’t imagine he beat you in here and only then you realized it looked like he was humping into something. It wasn’t until you heard a moan behind the hulking clone that you realized what was happening. You covered your eyes. “OH MY GOD!”

All noise stopped in the room. “Oh my god!” Ben yelled and Rey yelled your name.

“I AM SO SORRY!” You tried to back out of the room with your eyes closed but hit the side of the door. Feeling your way out you stepped into the hallway, shutting the door as you went. “Lock the door next time!” You yelled before slamming it shut.

You stood outside in the hall and opened your eyes staring at the shut door before laughed ripped from your throat. You doubled over trying to walk from the door as you did, barley noticing two hands on you. You looked up to see Kylo’s worried face staring down at you.

“Are you okay? I heard you yelling.” He looked you up and down as if checking for visible injures.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Sorry, I just uh.” The door behind you opened. Ben and Rey stepped out, looking mortified. You turned back to Kylo. “I saw a spider and it scared me. I was just laughing at how easily spooked I am.” You turned back to Rey and Ben in the doorway. “No big deal. It happens. Spiders are just a part of life.” You bit your lip to suppress your laugh and Rey hid behind Ben.

Kylo looked between the three of you. “If you say so.”

“I need a drink.” Ben said, practically bolting past you.

“I bet you do.” You said so only Rey could hear as she walked up next you to follow Ben and Kylo down the stairs. Once the boys were out of earshot you whispered again. “At least someone’s getting laid while we’re all here.”

Rey laughed. “Mornings are a better time most people are outside or busy downstairs.”

“Noted.” You smiled as the two of you walked into the kitchen. “So what’s the plan for later?”

“We’re going out!” Ben smiled as he poured brown liquid into four glasses.

“Out?” You questioned, taking a glass.

“Yeah. Well. There’s only one bar around here, but still.” Rey shrugged.

You looked to Kylo who also shrugged. “Sounds fun.” And You sighed, taking a drink of the whiskey.

Around 7pm you stood in the bathroom mirror tucking and untucking your shirt and messing with your makeup. Kylo stood in the doorway, smiling as he watched you. He had on one of his usual suits. You on the other hand were in a nice silk top and black skinny jeans as advised my Rey that Kylo would be overdress as always. You were thankful for her as the four of you pulled into the bar parking lot, seeing the few people there were dressed in jeans and flannels, or V-necks. Walking in the four of you sat at the last four bar stools and Rey ordered a round of drinks. Your hand found purchase high on Kylo’s thigh, remaining there through most of your night.

“So.” You started looking to Ben and Rey. “Where exactly are you guys going for your month long honeymoon?”

“Well, the first week we’re going to Europe, then we have a cruise that’s going through the Bahamas for 12 days and we’re ending it in Cancun.” Ben told you.

“Holy wow.” Your eyes widened slightly at the list.

Rey on the other hand rolled her eyes. “Ben wanted to plan everything.”

“Only the best for my baby.” He gave her a kiss.

“How was moving in?” Rey asked after Ben broke from her.

“It was fine, most of my stuff had already been at Kylo’s anyways so.” You shrugged taking a long sip of your drink.

“When do you leave for Chicago?” Ben asked Kylo.

“Right after your wedding.” Kylo’s grip on your thigh tightened slightly. You knew that he didn’t want to talk about leaving just as much as you didn’t, so you decided to change the subject by ordering 4 rounds of shots. Everyone sinking them easily over the next hour except Kylo who was driving, and Ben who tapped out after the second round.

When you ordered a fifth round for You and Rey, Kylo put his card on the bar and asked the bartender to cash out, paying for everyone’s drinks as usual. You pouted to him lightly before he pinched your thigh and leaned down to act like he was going to kiss your cheek. “Be good.” He said against your ear, and the goosebumps erupted all over your body. He straightened up still smirking at you. “I’m going to step outside, then we can go.”

“I’m coming.” Ben said, standing but hold the bar to steady himself. “Whoa.”

“You okay?” Rey laughed.

“Yep! I got it.” He said before turning to follow Kylo out the backdoor.

“Wow. Who know he could get drunk so fast!” You joked.

“Oh, Ben has never been able to hold his liquor.” Rey told you, shaking her head. “In high school he wanted to keep up with Kylo so bad he would black out every time.”

You laughed, imagining a drunk Ben passed out in the flower garden outback. Just then a hand on your back made you jump. You turned expecting to see Kylo but instead a tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes stared down at you. “Names Glen. Can I buy you a drink?”

“Oh, no sorry. I’m here with my boyfriend actually.” You said nicely, shooting Rey a look. You looked around, finding only this man and his friends were left in the bar with the both of you.

“I don’t seem him here taking care of you, doll.” Glen leaned down closer to your shoulder. “I could take care of you.”

You pushed the bar stool out from under you, standing to go. “I said no thank you.” Rey followed as both of your turned to the door but he grabbed your wrist before you were out of his reach.

He jerked you back to him. “If a man offers to buy you a drink, you say thank you and drink it. Or did no one ever teach you any manners?”

“Hey. let her go!” Rey yelled at him, but his eyes didn’t leave yours.

“I think someone should teach you manners.” Glen dragged you closer to him as you fought to get out of his grip. Rey reached over, grabbing a glass she threw it at his head. It missed, hitting his chest instead. He snapped his head to her. “You two are going to pay for that.”

Glen brought his other hand up to grab around your neck, but his arm stopped, almost midair. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Kylo’s hulking figure next you. His chest was heaving as he gripped the man’s arm in his hand, knuckles white. “You want to take your hand off my girlfriend?”

“Yeah, bout time you come to get your bitch. She and her friend here were being rude as fuck.” He spat towards Kylo. In a flash Kylo pried his other hand off your wrist and dragged Glen by his arm to the front door. You and Rey scurried behind him, watching as he threw Glen to the ground outside the bar. “What the fuck buddy?” The guy yelled.

“Call her a bitch again.” Kylo growled out.

“What’s going on here?” Another man asked as Glens 5 friends filed out the door.

“Your friend here needs to learn some respect.” Kylo said, not bothering to look at him.

“Are you going to teach us all respect?” The guy asked, all 5 of the men walking to circle around Kylo. Just when you thought things were going to get back Ben walked out the front door, pausing when seeing the scene in front of him.

He looked to Kylo, nodding to him once. “Cauliflower?”

Kylo looked back, glancing at you before back to Ben. “Cauliflower.”

Without missing a beat Kylo turned to the close of the pack and punched him square in the nose. Ben jumped off the front step, taking down the guy in front of it and knocking him to the ground in one swift motion. It was mess of punches and yelling as Kylo easily took two more of the men door before turning his full attention to Glen while Ben battled back and forth with the last guy. You watched Kylo get Glen to his knee’s with no effort, punching him again and again until he slumped against the ground. You stood wide eyed and all was silent expect for Kylo and Ben’s panting.

Looking around at the unconscious men on the ground Ben looked to Kylo then stalked over and grabbed Rey’s hand. “We have to go.”

Kylo stood frozen, watching Glen as he laid flat on his back. “Kylo.” You whispered out and that seemed to bring him back. He snapped his head to you, eyes going wide when they met your face. He brought himself to you, tucking you into his chest as he followed behind Ben and Rey. He ushered you into the passenger seat before climbing into the driver side. It was silent most of the ride back, until a laugh came from Ben in the back. Followed by Kylo. You stared at them confused.

“Don’t give me that look!” Ben laughed. “Why did I just fight a group of guys.”

“Ugh.” Rey groaned. “He was awful. That big guy Kylo knocked out, he grabbed Y/N and was yelling at both of us. He was going to choke her until Kylo popped up.”

“What the fuck?” Ben said, suddenly serious.

You watched Kylo’s hand tighten on the steering wheel. “I’m okay.” You told the car.

“Yeah, of course you are or Kylo wouldn’t have left that guy alive.” Ben half joked.

Walking up the stairs, you thanked Ben and Rey for taking you out. Once inside the bedroom you shut the door behind Kylo, you tired to wrap your arms around his waist, but he pulled back and started pacing the room. “Kylo?”

“No. No. I just need a minute.” He said, walking the length of his room.

“Okay.” You nodded, rubbing your hands on your arms. His mood making you cold. “I’m going to shower this beer off me. I’ll be back.”

Once in the bathroom you peeled off the sticky clothes, tossing them into the bathtub. It took you a minute to figure out Kylo’s shower on your own, not wanting to bother him but once you got it on and to an acceptable temperature you stepped under the rain water, letting it soak through your hair. The warm on your skin relaxing your body, that was until the shower door ripped open and the cold bathroom air hit you.

Kylo stood in only his pants, staring at your body. You also stood staring at him, a little surprised. “What are you doing?”

“Are you okay?” He asked flatly.

“What?” You were now more than surprised.

“Did he hurt you. Did he touch you from more than I saw?” He asked, eyes boring into yours.

“What? No. Kylo. That was it, the only thing you missed is Rey throwing a glass of beer at him.

He stood, saying nothing else then he took a step into the shower, the water soaking him the closer he got. “Kylo, your pants!” You looked down at his now soaked through suit pants.

Slow he undid his belt, throwing it out the of shower with his pants and boxers following. “Happy?” He asked before jumping towards you. Kylo pushed you up against the shower wall, lifting you by your thighs as he rubbed into you. “I wanted to kill him.” He growled into your ear. You moaned onto his skin in response. “I saw his hands on you and I could’ve. Without a second thought.” You bit down onto his neck and he groaned. “You think teasing me is fun?”

You stopped, freezing in place, confused by his sudden change in topics. Thinking for a second maybe he though you provoked the man to try to get some kind of reaction out of Kylo. “I wasn’t trying to-“

“Don’t try to play innocent with me, baby girl.” He slid you down onto his length. “That dress, those doe eyes you were making at me all night, siding your hand up my thigh in the bar.” He lifted you back up, rocking slowly into you, hitting your sweet spot on the first try. “I know your game. You thought because my families around I wouldn’t make you pay for it?” He rocked faster and you bit into his shoulder to try to keep quiet. “Now the whole house is going to know what a fucking slut you are for me.” He leaned back before slamming you into the wall and himself further into you.

“Kylo!” You cried out but he covered your mouth with his hand.

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t make a noise until I give you permission to understood?” He watched your eyes.

You nodded slowly to him, almost drawling blood from your bit on his palm as you tried to stay quiet, but the pain seemed to fuel him further. He moved you back under the water, gripping your hair at the scalp and pulling back hard. The water hit your face, causing you to close your eyes against it. All other senses radiating as Kylo pounded into you, gripping, and kneading your ass as he went. You were so lost in it, you barley registered the bathroom door opening until Kylo froze, spinning you out from under the water to set you down. He pinned you against the other side of the shower that was blocked by a half wall and placed a hand over your mouth.

You both waited for someone to say anything, but it was quiet for longer than a minute. Until you both heard Ben. “Kylo please tell me it’s you in there.”

“What the fuck Ben! Kinda busy in here dude. Stay where you are.” Kylo yelled at him.

“Who knew Kylo was so protective of bath time.” Ben joked. You and Kylo looked to each other. Ben didn’t know you were there, meaning he hadn’t heard you two. “Listen, this is the only time I can talk to you alone, so you just have to deal with me for a second here okay?”

“Make it fast.” Kylo said, his hand not covering your mouth resting on your sex.

“Don’t worry princess. My back is to the wall, I can’t see your precious dick. Rey and I talked about the conversation we had last night and-“ Ben started but Kylo’s eyes got wide.

“Really not a good time to talk about this.” Kylo cut him off.

“No dude serious. I need to tell you we think you should-“

“NOPE. BEN. We need to talk about this later.” Kylo tried to stop Ben again.

“DUDE! When else will I get to talk to you with out your girlfriend around?” He said, obviously frustrated.

Kylo sighed, removing the hand from your mouth. You knew whatever Kylo didn’t want you to hear about was important to him from the look on his face. You did the only think you could think to stop Ben. “Kind of around now Ben.”

All noise inside the bathroom, except the water, stopped. Kylo’s eyes went wide, looking between you and the shower curtain. After a long, long moment Ben burst out laughing.

“You know, this is honestly my fault. If I had just looked around the room and see that BOTH of your clothes were in here, I could have saved us all from this moment.” Ben barked through his laughs.

You giggled into Kylo’s chest. “Yeah yeah.” Kylo yelled. “Can you get out now?”

“Yeah, I can. Come see my tomorrow Kylo. Have fun you two.” Ben laughed shutting the bathroom door.

“I can’t believe that happened.” Kylo grumbled, slumping into your shoulder.

“He won’t say anything.” You laughed.

“Why is that?” Kylo stepped back to look into your eyes and you turned to shut off the water.

“Because I walked in on him and Rey in Hans office this morning.” You laughed.

Kylo stared you for a long while before he also bust out laughing. “Wow. All of us our losing our minds this week I guess, and it’s only day one.” 

You were about to say something when Kylo’s hands slid down between your bodies. “Now make those pretty noises for me again, sweetheart.” He rubbed hard on your clit, thrusting into you. You yelped at the suddenness, whimpering out a moan as he dragged you back to the edge. “There she is. Cum for me, baby.” He pushed you back into the wall a few more times before you clamped down around him, tightening your legs around his waist as your orgasm pulsed through you. After a few more pumps you felt him release into you with a moan.

He set you back down after a minute of holding onto you. You steadied yourself against him, and once he was sure you were okay he guided you back under the water, rising your body before he reached back to grab your shampoo. He worked the shampoo though your hair and you hummed when he rubbed your scalp. He repeated with your conditioner. When he was done you spun him so he was under the water before you reached up to work the shampoo through his hair. He kept his arms around your waist as you massaged your scalp only stepping back when you brought the soap bar to his chest, working it in small circles as you lathered up and down his body. You worked slowly around his dick under you cupped it in your hand, working his length. He groaned in protest when you stopped. Giggling, you stepped back motioning for him to turn around so you could do his back. You worked your fingers into his muscles, feeling them relax under your touch.

Once he was done, he turned to you doing the same, taking his time around your breasts and sex. His hands slowly trailed down your inner thighs and you stepped closer to him forcing you both under the water. As the water rained down over both of you Kylo leaned down, capturing your lips with his. You stayed like that under the water for you didn’t know how long. By time you both got out the exhaustion was creeping into your bone. You threw on your favorite shirt of Kylo’s and slipped into bed. Kylo followed behind in his sweatpants, pulling you into him like usual. He nuzzled your neck, leaving kisses there.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you more.” You rolled over to face him.

He pressed his lips together, obviously trying to bring something up but not finding the words. You messed with his hair, giving him time. He sighed, tucking you under his chin. “That’s what the scars on my body are from.” You thought for a moment, confused on what he meant. As if he read your mind he continued. “I used to get into fights in school. The older kids would hear about it and challenge me, push me around in the hallways, stuff like that.”

“How long did that go on for?” You asked, your voice barley above a whisper.

“The fights? I always got into them, even in college. The bullying? Not long after I started knocking out kids twice my size.”

Your heart broke for little Kylo. His parent’s barley around, then going to school only to be picked on for no reason. “I can’t imagine anyone being twice your size.”

He chuckled and the vibration in his chest rattled through your head. “I was a scrawny child. I didn’t gain any muscle until well into my teenage years.”

“Hmmmm. I want see pictures.” You relaxed into him.

“I will have Mom get them out for you tomorrow.” He kissed the top of your head, and you nodded before falling asleep.

The next day the six of you spent going through old pictures of Ben and Kylo. Rey wasn’t kidding about all the matching they did.

Leia smiled, handing you a photo of the two. “Once they turned 7 the refused to put on anything that was close to what the other was wearing.”

You looked over the photos, smiling as Kylo held you close to his side on the couch while Ben and Rey sat cross legged on the floor. Han and Leia laughed as the recalled stories of Ben and Kylo as kids. Taking them to the water park, the zoo, their family vacations. All stories seemed so happy, you almost didn’t notice how none of these stories went past the age of 8, or how Ben and Kylo were the only ones able to recall things about their school, their friends growing up, or trips with uncle Luke. But once the realization hit you, you hurt for him. Sliding back even closer to Kylo’s side. He gave you a questioning look for a split second, but you just smiled to him in response, knowing that he’d ask about it later. For now, he was making new memories with his family, memories with you etched into them, and you couldn’t ruin that for him.

*

Wednesday the rest of the family was set to arrive, and you could tell all morning Kylo was on edge. He didn’t eat breakfast and barley touched his lunch. On top of that he was clinging to your side more than usual. Every time you turned around you were running into him, or tripping over his feet. Finally, you couldn’t let it slide any longer and had to pull him outside alone.

Once you were sure you were back further enough into the garden for no one to hear you stopped and wrapped your arms around him. “Kylo. You have to talk to me.”

“About what?” You pulled back to give him a look that read ‘Seriously?’ and he sighed in response, dragging his hand through his hair. “Look. I told you about the night I left, how Dad and I fought and there were punches thrown? Well, Dad wasn’t the only one to get punched.”

“Ben?”

Kylo shook his head. “Uncle Luke.”

You searched his face for an answer, but he was stone. All except his eyes, and you could see the sadness in there from a mile away. “Your uncle Luke? The one who basically raised you and Ben? The sweet old man everyone talks about?”

Something inside Kylo snapped a little, the tip of the anger issues you’d seen before. He took something off the garden wall behind him and threw it. What it was spun through the air fast before landing inside a tree furthest from where you two stood. “That’s the thing, he wasn’t a sweet old man. He was just as bad as them, he was the one who started blaming me over Ben all the time.” Kylo began pacing back and forth in front of you, throwing his hands around. “The night dad and I got into it he pushed me more than Han did. He wouldn’t let up. Luke told him that it was stupid to let me waste anyone’s money on a degree in science. Luke told me I would never be able to do anything significant with it. He told me how I’d been acting the years before was unacceptable and that –“ Kylo paused then, stopping to look at you. He took a breath as he looked into your eyes. “Luke told me the way I was going no one would ever stick around.”

You stared at Kylo, soaking in the words as silence fell around you. You couldn’t believe anyone who helped raised him, watched him grow up in front of their very eyes, could say these things to him. Sure, you weren’t around for that time and his life, and he had told you how he acted out, rebelled against them but nothing he had or anyone had told you up until this point was worthy of such a response from his uncle. You watched Kylo watch you before you did the only thing you could think to do. You slowly walked towards where he stood, wrapped your hand around the back of his neck and brought his lips down to yours. He didn’t hesitate to meet you, his lips desperate on you. When you pulled back you looked directly into his eyes again. “None of that is true. Everything he said or thought about you was completely wrong. Look at everything you have accomplished, how hard you worked, and you did it on your own Kylo. Alone with no family to call for help.” Leaning your forehead to his you continued. “And you could throw hundred things at a hundred trees or walls. You can get as mad as you need, or freak out as much as you want, I will always stick around.”

His lips met yours again, needy and wild as his tongue slipped into your mouth and he crushed you against him. He didn’t stop or let go until you did, breaking from him to try to breath. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” He said softly against you.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want too, but If you do I’m here.” You told him.

He nodded before he fully let you go. “I love you.” 

You smiled up at him, adoring the way he looked at you. “I know.” He chuckled, throwing his arm around your shoulders before leading you back towards the house. As you pasted the tree, he had thrown something at, you noticed a pair of hedge sheers stilling out from the middle of the trunk. “Was that lucky or actually good aim?”

He walked over, pulling the sheers from the trunk and tossing them to the side before turning to wink at you. “I guess you’ll never know.”

You laughed taking his hand to walk about into the house. “Remind me to never let you garden.”

After another hour of pep talks Kylo decided he would test the waters with his family tonight. When the doorbell rang you remembered your own nerves, previously covered up by the need to take care of Kylo. First came the uncle Ben and Kylo called “Chewie.” A nickname you had yet to get a story behind, he came with his wife Maz and there two kids, Rodney Ryan and Brandon Bryan, Both seemed barely old enough to drive. They also had the nicknames R2 and BB.

“Remind me to ask you about your family’s way of nicknaming people.” You whispered to Kylo as you all made your way to the living room and he laughed under his breath.

The six of you sat in the living room with Chewie and Maz for most of the afternoon while Han and Chewie told you stories of their college days, and early years with Leia. You couldn’t help but smile, understanding why Kylo had once told you that even though he wasn’t truly related he was more family then most. All seemed to be going well until right before dinner when the doorbell rang for a second time. There was no guessing who it was as Ben and Rey’s eyes shot to Kylo, and Han’s to Leia’s. Leia sighed, standing from the couch to get the door. From your spot on the couch you could see him, Luke. He even though him and Leia were supposed to be twins he looked older than her, as if life had worn him down more over the years. She greeted him with a hug before leading him to where everyone sat.

He entered the room with a small wave as everyone but Kylo and yourself said Hello. Han and Chewie were the only ones to stand and greet him. Luke’s eyes glued to Kylo’s once he was done with his hello’s, and your grip on Kylo’s hand tighten slightly. He squeezed you back before letting go to stand. He and Luke stared at each other before Kylo took a step towards him, reaching his hand out. “Luke.” He said.

The man looked at Kylo then back to his hand, taking it for a second before letting it go and breaking his eye contact with Kylo. It was obvious who was still bitter, even if Kylo was still hurting.

“Luke, this is Y/N. Kylo’s girlfriend.” Rey said, trying to fill to silence that had covered the room.

Luke looked to you then as if he hadn’t seen you, a magic trick you seemed to have with this family when Kylo was in the room. After a moment he tilted his head to you. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well.” You told him, making no move to shake his hand. You could play nice for Leia and Han but after what Kylo told you earlier you were in no mood to do more than that.

“Well.” Leia said. “We can all sit down to eat. The foods done.”

Everyone gathers around the dining room table, made larger than before by its middle extension and Leia past around the millions of platters with food, as usual. Only tonight it was doubled. It really made you wonder how she made so much in such a short amount of time, even if she was a chef before. R2 told Luke all about his new spot on the football team, but about halfway through dinner you watched BB look between his plate and Kylo several times before he called to him.

“I, uh, I build a robot at school.” BB told him.

“Really?” Kylo asked, leaning forward on the table.

“Do you remember when I was little, you use to build them all the time and you’d always show me how you did it, or what you needed for certain things?” BB asked.

“Yes I do.” Kylo smiled to him.

“Well, I always really thought that was cool, and I think I want to do something with Science.” He told Kylo, and you saw the pride in Kylo’s eyes as he looked to his little cousin.

“Well, if you stick to that let me know. I know a lot of people in the Science community.” Kylo sat back in his chair and BB nodded quickly too him.

It warmed your heart to watch this sweet interaction. That was until you heard it, so low it almost missed your ears but there it was. Luke, who was sitting at the opposite end of the table, scoffed. You watched as he looked down the table shaking his head. Luckily Kylo was either doing well at ignoring him, or he actually didn’t hear him because there was no reaction. But from the way Ben back straightened you knew he had. Rey gave you a side eyes while placing her hand over Bens.

“So, Y/N.” Luke said, and then Kylo stiffened as well. “How did you meet Kylo?”

“We teach at the same school.” You told him, haven giving this answer so many times now.

“Interesting. Teacher – Teacher relationships aren’t an issue there?” Luke asked.

You cocked your head slightly. “No, none at all.”

“And how long have you been together?” He pushed. If not in the room, his questions would seem innocent, but the tone in his voice proved that not to be true. You could see the temper in Kylo rising.

“Basically, since the beginning of the school year so almost 5 months I believe.” You tried to give him a small smile.

“They just moved in together.” Han told him, wiggling his eyebrows at you. Clearly trying to make the situation lighter and you were thankful for that.

Luke scoffed again. “That will go well.”

You stared at Luke shocked by his words and tone being so blatant, but there wasn’t a beat before silver wear was dropped. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You heard as a chair was pushed back. You turned, ready to try to calm Kylo but it was Ben who was up. Rey’s hand on his arm as he stared down the table at Luke.

“I just mean, given Kylo’s track record, it usually doesn’t last long.” Luke said.

“That’s enough Luke.” Han told him.

“What would you know about his track record? You’ve haven’t seen him in years.” Ben yelled.

“And who’s fault is that.” Luke sat back in his chair.

“Yours.” Kylo said from next to you.

“Oh, yeah. Blame someone else for your actions, that’s very mature of you Kylo.” Luke shook his head.

“It was you!” Ben yelled at him. Knocking his chair back Ben round the table, stalking to Luke. Kylo was quick on his feet too.

“Boys.” Leia tried and Luke laughed looking between the two.

“No. I’m tired of this. Kylo was gone for how long because of Him and Dad. At least Dad had the decency to feel remorse for it.” Ben spat out.

“Ben.” Rey tried from across from you.

“Remorse? For trying to help him?” Luke laughed again and this time your own blood started to boil.

“What part of that was you trying to help?” Kylo yelled at.

“You were always a difficult kid.” Luke told him. “I just wanted you to turn out not to be a bum.”

“Difficult? He was hurting! He was fucking depressed and sad. We both were but instead of playing good son like I did Kylo acted out and you should have helped him!” Ben yelled.

“Maybe he should have told someone that.” Luke shrugged.

“I was telling you.” Kylo said through clenched teeth. “I was telling all of you all the time with my actions.”

Luke looked up at Kylo finally. “All I saw was a disrespectful teenager who didn’t listen and was going down a dark path.”

In a split-second Ben lunged at Luke, but he was quick to stand sending Ben flying towards an empty chair. Luke ran toward the entry was but Kylo was quick, cutting him off as he stood in front of him. Kylo loomed over him, glaring down at him.

You were on your feet quick, standing behind Luke. “Kylo.” He didn’t look up from Luke, and the look on his face was the same from the bar the other night. “Kylo.” You tried again and this time he did look to you. The room was pin drop silent as he stared at you, chest heaving in anger. You pointed up. “Room.”

Kylo stared at you for a second before looking around the room. Everyone’s eyes were on him and Luke, even Ben who still sat on the floor with Han’s hand on his shoulder. Kylo looked back to you before giving you one short nod and turning to make his way up the steps. Without looking back at his family you pushed your way past Luke to follow him. You only made it up three steps before you heard someone behind you. You turned fast coming face to face with Luke.

“Luke. Stop.” Han said, walking toward the steps.

“This isn’t finished.” Luke said.

He tried to walk past you, but you blocked him, pointing a finger in his face. “I don’t know who you think you are, but you have no fucking idea who I am or what I will do for him. So, before you push me anymore. I suggest you listen to your brother-in-law.”

Luke stood shocked at your words and Han walked up to pull Luke back down. Han gave you a nod and you returned to following Kylo. You quickly walked back to his room, but the state of it could only be described as hurricane damage. You look around, finding no sign of him. You were about to go look for a train in the hallway before you heard soft noises coming from the bathroom. You yanked open the door, finding Kylo sitting on the ledge on the bathtub with his face in his hands. When he heard you shut the door again he looked up to you, and you saw the tears on his face. You made your way to him in a flash, pulling his head into your chest.

“I’m so sorry.” He said softly to you.

You couldn’t help the laugh that came out. “For what?”

“For all that.”

“Kylo.” You took his face in your hands. “That was not at all your fault. How do you think that was you?”

“It was about me.”

“It was about you, but it wasn’t your fault at all.” You gave him a light kiss before pulling him to his feet and wiping his face. “Luke really needs a reality check; which Ben would happily give him I think.”

Kylo gave you a small smile. “Yeah, I think so too.” He sighed pulling you into his chest to rest his chin on your forehead.

"It's obvious Luke is still blaming your acting out as a teenager for the fact he did such a shit job. He'll learn on his own but you do not need to be around for it." You said, hoping that your words were sticking to him. "He's a grown adult, the way he acts towards you in not okay, but it is in no way your fault."

“Now what do I do.”

“Now, WE are going to go clean up hurricane Kylo. Then WE are going to pack our stuff and WE are going home.” You told him.

“What about thanksgiving?” He asked.

“I really do not care about anything other than getting you somewhere away from here.” You told him.

He pulled back, studying your face in the way that he does. “Why are you so good to me. I do not deserve it.”

You shook your head at him. “No. that’s exactly why. Because you don’t realize how much you actually do.”

He kissed you before sighing and walking to open the bathroom door. “Come on, let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for not really uploading last week. It might be the same this week so i hope this monster of a chapter is enough to get you through. I will be back to posting way to often soon!
> 
> Lots of notes on this one.  
> First and foremost my idea here is not for Luke to be irredeemable in this story, but someone who needs to learn and grow so i apologize if Luke comes off strong but sometimes that's what people have to deal with in their family and i know from personal experience that sometimes people that love you don't always get the way you need to be loved or helped.  
> I also put the * before their talk in the garden for the soul purpose that it gets mentioned and i'm not trying to upset anyone here.
> 
> On a lighter, second note- Anyone get the reference with the bar fight? :)
> 
> More sad Kylo and Reader coming your way soon so buckle up.
> 
> Also all my next chapters will be this long or a tiny bit shorter but nothing will be as short as the first couple of chapters again for a while so hope you enjoy every chapter being an individual book.
> 
> As always, let me know how you're feeling!


	18. Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, fluff, and wedding festivities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fully apologize in advance for any typo's, but my dyslexic ass has been staring my laptop for 6 hours finishing this chapter and writing the next so i couldn't bring myself to reread more than once.

The moment the two of you reached the bottom of the stairs Ben was next to you. He all but begged Kylo and You to stay. Luke was nowhere to be found but when Kylo asked no one denied he was still somewhere inside the house. Kylo told Ben and Rey he’d call, apologizing to Leia before he pulled you both into the car that waited at the stairs.  
  
It was a quiet ride to the airport but you kept your fingers laced in his hoping to send as much support to him without words. Being it was thanksgiving and the flight needed to be changed so last minute the airline put you on one of their smaller flights, with only 5 other passengers it seemed. No one else was in first class as you both settled back into your seats.  
  
“Do you want a drink?” Kylo ask and you nodded, knowing you had a semi-long flight and wanted to sleep the stress off.

Two Whiskeys later you were out cold, only waking up you didn’t know how much later to find a sleeping Kylo next to you. You watched him as he slept so peacefully his chest rising and falling softly, a few pieces if his hair resting on his forehead while his long lashed fluttered against themselves as he dreamed.  
  
Not sure if it was how exhausted you felt or the whiskey in your blood but you felt your throat tighten, tears clouding you vision as you watched him. Kylo, the sweet, caring man you’ve come to know bullied out of his own family thanksgiving but a man who supposedly loved him. You knew more than anyone family problems weren’t so black and white, but how Luke spoke to him, to you, was unacceptable and something inside you was so proud of Kylo for leaving where he didn’t feel comfortable. But the other parts of your brain cursed at yourself. You told him to leave, sure it was for that very reason, but had you ruined Kylo’s first thanksgiving back with his family? If you weren’t there had he stayed and worked it out with Luke?  
  
Standing you brushed past him to speed walk to the lone bathroom in first class while tears slowly rolled down your face. Once locked in you tried to take a breath but a chocked sob escaped instead. Biting the inside of your cheek, you willed yourself to take deep breaths through your nose. Clutching the small sink in front of you, you tried to calm your thought when a knock came from the door. You waited, hoping whoever it was would go to another bathroom, but they knocked again. Wiping your face, you opened the door to find a sleepy looking Kylo staring back at you. It took no more than two seconds of looking over your face for him to squeeze into the small bathroom with you, shutting and locking the door behind him.  
  
“Baby. What’s going on?” He asked wrapping his arms around your shoulders.  
  
You nuzzled into his chest, breathing in the scent of him. “I ruined it.” You whispered.

“What?” He questioned.

“Your first thanksgiving back with them. I ruined it. Luke wouldn’t have made a comment about me if I wasn’t there, and you and Ben wouldn’t have gotten into it with him. I should have left on my own you could have stayed with them, you just got them back.”  
  
He pulled back, looking over your face before he grabbed you by your thighs and set you on the very small bathroom counter, mostly holding you up on his own. His eyes clung to you as if you were the only thing keeping him in this world. “Listen to me. I don’t want to spend my holiday’s anywhere you’re not. The comment started with you but Luke was attacking me. Don’t you understand that you are the first person to ever stand up for me besides my brother? No one has ever done what you have for me. You are the only thing I _need_ in this life.”

Before you could respond his lips were on yours. Taking the breath from your lungs, pushing himself into you. He slid his tongue over your bottom lip, asking permission. You opened you mouth for him and without missing a beat his tongue found yours. Both of you fighting for dominance inside your mouth. His hands guided themselves up your thighs, reaching the button on your jeans. Momentarily you pulled back from him, looking into his lust filled eyes. “Kylo, someone will catch us.”

His blown-out pupils looked over your face before he brought your lips back to his for a soft kiss. “Trust me.” He whispered so delicately into your mouth. You paused, to inside your own head to know what to do, but Kylo decided for you. He picked you up off the tiny counter and turned you around. Pulling your pants down to your knees, he sunk to his own behind you while pushing you down as much as he could over the small sink. You grabbed the sides of it as he places his face between your legs. “So perfect.” He purred against your leg. Taking his tongue, he licked a stripe over your slit, tasting your slick. The friction made you buck back against him, but he placed his hands on your hips to keep you in place. “Baby. You remember my rule about making noise?” You nodded to him, not being able to see him from your position. “Good.” He replied flatly before returning to your cunt.

You bit down on the inside of your cheek as he made quick work on you. Sucking and licking every part of you, rough, fast and needy. It wasn’t long before you felt yourself relaxing against him, letting him bring the stress out of you with his tongue. “That’s it baby. Relax. Let me help you.” He told you standing up behind you. Two second after you heard his zipper, he was lined up against you. You looked up in the mirror in front of you, finally able to see him. Kylo smiled at you through the mirror, gently stroking your back as he pushed inside of you. Gripping the sink so hard your knuckles turned white, you repressed the moan begging to make its way out. “Good girl.” He told you, slowly pulling back out. He kept that pace for to long, slowly making his way in and out of your dripping pussy, keeping his hands on your hips so you couldn’t push back against him. “God, you’re so fucking tight. I love this pussy.” You tried to squeeze around him, giving him a signal to do more but kept his slow pace. “Greedy little slut, is this not enough for you?”

Shaking your head at him you tried to push against the sink to push back against him but there was no moving. One of his hands left your lip, hooking inside your cheek and turning your gaze back to the mirror. “Watch me make you cum.” He demanded before he picked up the pace of his hips. He looked down, watching himself fuck into you. His long locks coming to rest on his forehead. You came around him, barley able to keep the scream that wanted to rip from deep inside you. Kylo came with you, leaning over to bite your shoulder as he did. Once his hips slowed, you caught your breath and Kylo pulled out of you fixing himself before he helped fix you.

“Come here.” He said, turning you to face him. He planted soft kisses on your lips before he stood back up. “You are it. Forever. Don’t ever think I want to be somewhere you’re not again.” you nodded to him, sinking back into his chest, letting his words soak into you, wondering how on earth you got so blessed with him.

You woke up the next morning, still surrounded by boxes and tangled with Kylo. You rolled over to face him, brushing his hair off his forehead and he rumbled in response. It was still early, to early for someone to be up who didn’t need too. None the less you got up and shower, knowing you needed to make it to the store early if there was any chance of saving today for Kylo, and yourself.

Hopping into your car you headed straight to the supermarket. Thankful your plan of being way to early worked, you got most of the things you’d need for a semi-okay thanksgiving dinner and raced back to the house to start before Kylo would be up. Getting the oven on, you started on the casseroles and pie. 2 hours later you heard Kylo walking into the bathroom and you held your breath when he walked towards the kitchen.

He smiled at you as he came in before pausing when he saw you surrounded by all the food. “What’s going on?”

“Hi!” You smiled, walking over to him. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

He stared at you, then he was back to looking around the kitchen. “When did you get all this?”

You couldn’t tell how he was taking his by the tone in his voice and started to think maybe he wasn’t happy it so you started rambling. “I went this morning. I already started making some stuff, but if this is to much for you, we don’t have too. You just haven’t had a thanksgiving meal in 7 years and since this week got so messy I thought maybe it could make you one but if I over stepped-“

You stopped talking when Kylo leaned down to kiss you, rapping his arms around you and hoisting you up to him. “You are too good for me.” He breathed into your kiss.

You swiped your nose over his. “Not even close, but I love you.”

“I love you too. What can I do to help?”

You turned your torso as much as you could, pointed to the bag of potatoes on the island. “Any good at peeling?”

“Good enough.” He replied, walking you both over to the island. Kylo set you down, giving you a quick peck before you both got back to work.

10 hours of going back and forth between cooking and fucking, both of you sat at the kitchen table, a plethora of food spread before you. You sat on your legs, Kylo’s long t-shirt barley covering you, and Kylo sat next to you in only his gray sweatpants, his chair pulled close to yours.

“This looks as amazing as you do.” He said, kissing your forehead.

You smiled up at him as he reached over to start dishing food onto your plate when a loud knock came from the front door. Both of you looked in the direction of the front door before looking back to each other. Kylo stood, slowly making his way over. Before he was halfway there, the nob turned and the door swung open, softly hitting the wall as it did. Kylo jumped towards whoever was walking in as you yelped getting to your feet.

“Whoa! Whoa! Punching me in the face is not a very nice thing to do on thanksgiving.” Ben yelled to Kylo.

“Ben?!” You yelled from the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” Kylo asked him, clearly still in fight mode.

“We wanted to be with you guys on Thanksgiving!” Rey chimed in, walking in behind Ben.

Ben looked between Kylo and yourself. “Please tell me you didn’t fuck on the table we’re about to eat from.”

Rey burst out laughing behind him. “OH MY GOD I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU WEREN’T WEARING PANTS.”

You looked down, just now remembering you were only in Kylo’s shirt and your panties. Dashing back to the room you slipped out some sweats and grabbed Kylo a shirt. When you came back they were seated around the table as Kylo poured them each a glass of wine.

“So.” You said, throwing Kylo his shirt. “How was it after we left?”

Ben shrugged, already digging into the food around him. “Mom was upset, Dad was understanding but mostly everyone was yelling at Luke.”

“Everyone?” Kylo questioned as he sat down.

“Yep!” Rey said, taking the glasses Kylo held out to them. “Even Leia.”

“Leia yelled at Luke?” You asked in disbelief.

“Then he apologized to me, but I told him if he wanted to come to the wedding, he needed to apologize to you.” Ben said through a full mouth, nodding to Kylo.

“What.” Kylo’s fist clenched on the table.

“It’s only right.” Ben told him.

“I don’t want to speak to him, Ben.”

“We know that, but he needs to at least apologize.” Rey said, her eyes begging Kylo not to start a fight over it.

Kylo stared at her before he finally sighed, relaxing an inch. “Fine.” He mumbled.

You relaxed next to him, not realizing how tense you had been. As the four of you fell into a pleasant conversation, you watched Kylo from time to time, smiling as you watched him enjoy his first Thanksgiving in 7 years.

Friday morning Ben and Rey left to catch their flight and you didn’t hear much from them except texts until one day as you and Kylo laid tangled on the couch, watching a movie when his phone rang. A name you didn’t recognize flashed across the screen as he brought his phone to his ear.

“Hello……. Yeah…….. Friday night?...... Sounds good.” He hung up, placing the phone back on the coffee table before returning his arm around your waist. “Ben’s friend is setting up a bachelor party for him Friday.”

You hummed and amusement at him and he turned you to him, giving you a questioning look. “Kylo Ren in a strip club is something I’d love to see.” You laughed.

“Who said anything about strip clubs?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“It’s a bachelor party Ky, you’re going to a strip club.” You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I wonder if Rey’s friends are doing something for her.”

Kylo cleared his throat, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. “You kind of are Rey’s friends.”

“Oh.” You breathed out. You hadn’t really thought about it, but now that you did you were the only person on her side of the wedding party. She only went out without Ben if it was with you and you never saw her texting or talking to anyone on her phone. “Oh.” You said again sitting up. “I should do something for her then, right?”

“I think that’s a great idea baby.” Kylo rubbed circles into your back.

You reached to grab your phone from next to Kylo’s, scrolling to find Rey’s contact and calling. “Rey.” You said as soon as she picked up.

“Whats wrong?” She asked, not missing a beat.  
  
“Friday. Can you be here? In New York?”

“Um,” She paused. “I mean, I was going to come down with Ben so yeah why what’s going on?”

“I am throwing you a bachelorette party.” You told her, looking over to Kylo who gave you a thumbs up.

There was a long pause over the line before Rey squeaked out. “Really?”

You softly laughed. “Yeah!”

“Okay! I’ll see you Friday then!” She agreed happily before hanging up.

Once your phone was done you heard Kylo softly laugh next to you. “You know, I didn’t take you as the party throwing type.”

You stared down at your phone before scrolling through it again. “I’m not, but I know who is.” You wink to him as the ringing in your ear stopped. “Rose. I need your help.”

Friday night you sat in the back of a limo watching Rose force a “bride” sash around Rey.

“It’s tradition!” Rose yelled, pulling it over her head.

“Everyone is going to stare at me!” Rey yelled back trying to push her away.

“Wear the sash or I’m going to make you wear the crown of penis’ I got.” Rose warned her.

“You did not.” Rey challenged and Rose started reaching towards her bag. “Okay! Fine!” Rey finally agree, fixing the sash around her.

You laughed at the two of them before handing them each a shot glass. “Okay, Okay! A toast.” The three of you held up your shots. “TO REY!” You yelled, throwing back your shot.  
  
“To Rey!” Rose joined.

Rey followed behind you both, blush as she took hers. “Okay, what’s first?”

“First, we go dancing and we all look so hot we’re totally getting in for free.” Rose smiled, and she wasn’t wrong. Both you and Rose wore short black dresses with matching high heals. While Rey was in a short white dress with white heals Rose had picked out for her. None of the dresses were family friendly per say and the bouncer at the club confirmed Rose’s statement by letting you in the ropes with a wink. When the three of you entered the club, you had to let your eyes adjust to the room. Flashing lights and music over took your senses as Rose led you and Rey to the bar, handing you each a drink before gesturing to the dance floor. The bride sash Rose had forced Rey to wear had earned her a couple of free drinks. Resulting in Reys carefree dancing for the next hour. When it was close to time to leave you tapped them both of the shoulders.  
  
“I have to pee, I’ll be back!” You yelled over the music.  
  
“Me too! Rey lets go pee!” Rose gestured for her to come.  
  
“I’m okay! Come get me before we need to leave.” Rey returned to dancing.  
  
You and Rose exchanged a look, usually you wouldn’t agree to leave someone behind but Rey had managed to make friends with a group of girls she was dancing with and one of them gave you a thumbs up saying she’d keep an eye on her so you and Rose made you way to find a bathroom.  
  
Coming back out, after waiting in a line that felt like an hour, you walked behind Rose, watching through strobe lighting as she took her phone out of her back pocket. When she did something fell out, small. Before it hit the ground, you reached forward, yelling out to her. When you caught it, you froze. You felt it in your palm, small, round with something chunky attached. Rose stared at you wide eyes as you opened your hand to look at it.  
  
It was a ring, an engagement ring, you stared down at it before looking back to her with your mouth agape. “Rose....”  
  
“No. No. Its not what it- well, okay. Yes it is, But i was going to tell you after Reys night was done.” Rose stammered out quickly.  
  
You looked back at it then to her before you embraced her. “I’m so happy for you! When?!”  
  
“Last night!” Rose she smiled. “But can we talk about it later? I don’t want to take away from Rey.”  
  
“Yes, yes. Of course but i need EVERY detail later.” You giggled handing it to her. She was about to pocket it again when you stopped her. “Wear it! It won’t take away from anything, but i think she’s to tipsy to really notice.”  
  
Rose smiled wider, slipping the ring on her hand. “Okay, lets go find our girl.”

“Now what?” Rey asked as you three were back into the back of the limo.  
  
“Now, we take you were every bachelor or bachelorette party should go.” You wiggled your brows.  
  
“A strip club!” Rose yelled  
  
Rey looked at both of you, eyes wide. “I’ve never gone to a strip club.”  
  
“You go to a sex store regularly!” You laughed out.  
  
“Regularly?” Rose asked.  
  
Rey laughed then too. “Not THAT often.”  
  
“Seemed pretty comfortable to me.” You shrugged  
  
“Okay. Okay! Lets just go!” Rey shouted, trying to shut you two up.  
  
The three of you pulled up outside the club as neon lights and music took over your senses once again, this time not as harsh. Rose pulled the three of you to the seats right by the male stage, reaching into her bag and handing you some singles before handing most of the stack to Rey. “Here ya go.” Rose winked.

Rey looked between her and the money. “What do I do?”

“If you see something you like, throw some singles!” Rose told her.

With that none other than Pony by Ginuwine started playing over the stage and a man who could only compare to Chris Hemsworth stepped onto the stage. Rey’s eyes almost popped out of her head when he pointed to her before his dance started.

“I think we have a winner.” You joked to Rose.

“Excuse me.” A man walked up to you. “Sorry to interrupt but a gentleman wanted me to give this too you.” He handed you a drink, and before you could start to hand it to Rey he stopped you. “Oh, no. that’s for you. And this is for them.” He placed to shots into Roses hand. “But those are on the house.”

Before either you or Rose could question, he walked away. Rose shrugged. “Welp.” She took one of the shots before handing the other to Rey. Rey barley broke from her trance with the Chris look alike to take her shot. You shook your head, laughing to yourself as you sipped your free drink. Rose and yourself had planned to take Rey back to the house for a girls night type of ending, but seeing how much she enjoyed herself you decided just to hang out at the club. Several dancers went on and off, and whoever was sending drinks kept drinking them. Every time a new one was sent to you you’d look around, but found no creepy man making eyes at you, and definitely didn’t see any attractive men looking your way.

“Hey, I have an idea.” Rose told you. “They have a private room for dances over there, we should buy her one from that hunk before we go.” You agreed and Rose set off to talk to the bouncer outside the room, giving him money before walking back over to Rey. “Okay girly! Your last single gift is waiting!”

“What?” Rey looked slightly scared. “What is it?” 

Without answering Rose grabbed her hand, leading her to the private room. Once at the door the bouncer opened it and Rey looked back to you. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Nope!” You smiled to her. “This one is all you!”

“And no arguing!” Rose added with a laugh.

Rey turned back to the door wide eyed and walked in. You and Rose laughed once the door shut. “Okay.” Rose said. “I’m going to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

You nodded, turning to find a lone booth close enough you could see the door for when Rey was done. Sitting down you pulled out your phone scrolling through it for missed notifications. Only 2 texts from two people. Ben and Kylo.

Ben Solo: 11:08pm: Take cre if my gurl.

Ben Solo: 11:12pm: care*

Ben Solo: 11:15pm: Is seh hvng fun?

You laughed, shaking your head before moving to Kylo’s messages.

Kylo: 11:15pm: Ignore him. I find it sweet he only talks about Rey, but it’s worse when he’s drunk.

Kylo: 11:16pm: Also, Rose sent me a photo of you, hope you’re ready for me when I get home. ;)

You smiled at his last text, and pushed your thighs together at the thought. You sipped what was left of your drink, trying to think of a response equally as teasing for him as you watched the stage as a guy and a girl circled poles, swaying to the music. Sudden movement behind you in the booth froze you in place, knowing it was probably whoever had been sending the drinks all night. A hand on your hip made you yelp before you were jerked back into a board chest. Whoever it was brought their chin to rest on your shoulder, making you squirm as their lips brushed your ear.  
  
“Something to say love?” Kylo whispered low, snaking his hands around you.  
  
“KYLO!” You gasped out. “You almost got kicked in the balls!”  
  
He chuckled. “Good to know you’re not just letting random men cuddle up on you.”  
  
“Why are you here?” You giggled, leaning your weight on him.  
  
“Ben’s friends brought us here, we got here long before you did. They’re just upstairs in a private room.” He sighed into your hair when you relaxed into him. “I’ve just been sitting at the bar upstairs that overlooks the main floor, that’s how I kept sending drinks without you noticing.”  
  


You smiled to him. “You little shit.”

Before Kylo could reply yelling came from the bottom of the stairs to the top floor. “HEY!” Ben yelled, stumbling over to you.

“Hey big shot, how you feeling?” You asked him, laughing into Kylo’s shoulder.

“Where’s my wife?” He slurred out.

Without warning Rey ran and jumped to him. “BABY!” She yelled when he caught her. Ben held her head, slipping his tongue into her mouth.

“Okay. Okay.” Rose said walking over. “That is where I drawl my line.” She joked pointing to Ben and Rey.

“Me too.” Kylo agreed. “Let’s get out of here.”

You nodded and grabbed Ben as he carried Rey out to the boy’s private car. “Thank you girls! I love you!” Rey called before slipping into the car.

“You’re welcome!” You and Rose yelled in unison. 

“See you next Friday for the rehearsal!” Ben yelled.

“Rose, let us get you home.” Kylo said, opening the door to the limo.

“Yeah.” You agreed. “You also have a story for us.” You smiled at Rose and she laughed, slipping into the car.

“What’s happening?” Kylo asked after giving the driver Rose’s address, which seemed to not be far from where you were.

“Rose and Finn got engaged last night.” You told him, smiling at her.

Rose blushed, looking away from you but you felt Kylo’s body stiffen slightly next to you. You leaned into him but continued. “So? How’d he do it?”

“It was really sweet and simple. He cook us my favorite, Italian food.”

“Of course.” You agreed.

“And then he brought out those little chocolate domes, you know the ones I like from the bakery in long island? Well, he went and got them. Then after we were done he gave me a speech about how much I mean and asked, and I obviously said yes.” Rose smiled wide.

“Aw! That is very sweet I’m really happy for you!” You moved to hug her again.

“Yes, congratulations.” Kylo told her.

Rose smiled to him. “Thank you Kylo.”

“Miss.” The drive yelled back. “We’re here.”

“That was fast.” You told her.

“I know, anyways. I will see you guys next week at the wedding!” She waved as she got out the of car.

Once she was at her doorstep, and the car pulled off you turned to Kylo. “What gives?”

He looked at you, before draping his arm over the back of your shoulders and pulling you into him. He shrugged. “Ours will just be better.”

“Our what?” You asked, not understanding what he was saying.

“Our engagement.”

Your breath caught, and you could only nod in response as you looked out the window and smiled. You leaned onto Kylo, and even though his sweet confession should have warmed you all night a slow thought crept into you mind. Kylo was leaving in 10 days for 4 months, with no promise of when you could see each other, and in that moment you just hoped he felt the same when he got back.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up rehearsal dinner, Ben and Rey's wedding, and then i hurt my own feelings (and maybe yours.) 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR KUDOS AND COMMENTS AND BOOKMARKS AND LOVE! I hope this is living up to your expectations or at least providing enough entertainment for you :) 
> 
> I will have the next chapter up sooner than the last two have gone out, being back to work full time is KILLER and i am so drained by the end of the day i don't want to write this story on fumes. 
> 
> As always, i love to hear your thoughts <3


	19. Wedding bells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey's wedding and seeing Kylo off, with a new... friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the spelling errors in advance as usual . Enjoy :)

You woke up to soft finger tips gliding up your body. The warm midmorning light reminding you of the long next two day you had ahead. You turned from Kylo, making sure to slightly pop your ass into him. When you did you could feel how hard he already was, and it brought on a smile. His fingers grazed over your hip, coming around to the front of your body. Before he could get to his destination you light grabbed his hand, placing soft kisses across his knuckles then taking your intertwined fingers and cuddling them against your face. Feeling his cock twitch against your ass, you had to bite down on your lip to keep the giggle from surfacing.  
  
“What do you think you’re doing?” Kylo asked flatly behind you.  
  
Turning slightly, you batted innocent eyes at him. “I don’t think i know what you mean.”  
  
He growled lowly from deep in his chest as he took his hand out of your to find your tit through your shirt. “Don’t try to play games with me love.” He took your nipple between his fingers, pulling hard and causing a yelp to escape you. “I’ll always win baby girl.”  
  
He threw himself over you, placing himself between your legs so fast your head spun.

“I won’t get to have this pussy for who knows how long.” He slapped against your mound before dipping two fingers into you. “So, to make up for that I’m going to make you cum 3 times minimum today.” His eyes pierced into yours, the seriousness in his voice making you clench. “I felt that.” Kylo smirked. He curled his fingers against your sweet spot, and you squirmed under him. “So wet for me.” He said, voice dripping with lust as he pulled his fingers out. He waisted no time flipping you onto your hands and knees before rubbing the head of his cock at your entrance. “You ready sweet girl?” He asked and you whined under him.

He pushed in slowly, causing you to cry out in pain pleasure. “Fuck. I’m going to miss this.” He breathed out behind you, picking up his pace. “You’re going to miss my cock, aren’t you?” He pushed you slightly up the bed with his thrusts and you moaned back to him. His hand came down on your ass hard, causing you to yelp. “Answer me.”

“Yes!” You screamed.

“Good girl.” Kylo told you, pushing your head onto the pillow. You couldn’t control the sounds coming from you as he hit your cervix and it wasn’t long before you felt yourself on the edge.

“Kylo I’m-“ Was all you could get out before he picked your head up by your hair, bringing it back to him.

“Do it.” He grunted out, his own thrusts slowing slightly. You clenched around him as you came, bringing him to his own peak before the two of you collapsed back onto the bed. Giggling you cuddled into his chest, and he placed soft kisses into your hair. “That’s one.”

Pulling up to the venue you felt the excitement in you. Leia and Han had dropped quiet a pretty penny on this wedding, pulling up to the event space that much was obvious. Midtown loft was a beautifully high building, and the space for the reception was stunning. A large ballroom inside the building perfectly decorated for the 300 people that would be in attendance but the rooftop space where Ben and Rey’s ceremony would be held was breath taking. The look over New York was truly to die for. Brick walls lined the path of chairs, split down the middle to create a long isle.

“HI!” Rey yelled as you and Kylo walked out onto the roof top.

“Hi!” You chirped back, bringing her in for a tight hug. “This is beautiful Rey.”

“I know! I can’t take all the credit though, Ben found this place.” Rey smiled.

“You?” Kylo asked Ben as he walked up to join the conversation.

“Hey, what can I say? I’m a visionary.” Ben joked, doing a little walk spin before coming up next to Rey.

Leia and Han came over to greet both of you and with that a lady came up to the group. “Okay, everyone’s here so we should start, is your officiant here to practice?”

“I’m here!” Someone called and turning to see ‘chewie’ running towards the group. “I’m here.” He repeated, smiling.

“Okay then, this will be fast. Ben and Leia, you will walk down first. Then Mr. Ren will walk followed by Ms. Y/L/N, lastly Han will be walking with Rey. Let’s line up and do that. Chewie? Chewie is it? You will wait up there.” The lady pointed to the edge of the building where the alter of sorts was. After you all walked up, she directed you how to walk back down. Rey and Ben, Kylo and yourself then Han and Leia followed by Chewie. After you walked up and down a handful of times, she seemed satisfied. “Okay! Rey, Ben, any questions?”

“I don’t think so!” Ben replied.

“Okay, then I will see everyone tomorrow.” The lady clapped before leading everyone back inside and down the stairs.

“Okay.” Ben said coming up to you and Kylo. “Mom and Dad booked a private room for a rehearsal dinner. I texted you the address.” 

“Got it.” Kylo replied stiffly, but if Ben seemed to notice he said nothing.

“See ya there!” Rey called, waving as she slipped into the back of their car.

“That place is beautiful.” You said, slipping into the back of the car. Kylo agreed as he slipped in behind you, wasting no time to lean forward and hit the button for the patrician. “Kylo.” You whispered. “What are you doing?”  
  
He moved you sideways in the seat, his hand making a lazy, slow trail from your knees, up your thighs to rest to your hips. He looked to you, his eyes hungry. “Three times love, remember? And I’ve only had you once.”  
  
You clenched around nothing, getting aroused purely from how much he wanted you. “Kylo it’s not that far of a drive to dinner.” You tried, but he pulled a soft moan from you when his mouth met your neck.  
  
“You think I give a fuck?” His hand light pulled your dress up around your waist, and pulled your panties to the side before dragging a finger from your clit to your entrance. “It appears you don’t care either.”   
  
He plugged two fingers into your core, and you grabbed his shoulders to keep yourself up right as he pumped in and out of you. Biting the inside of your cheek you tried to keep quiet but it only seemed to urge him on more. Taking his thumb to trace small circles around your clit, never touching it. You bucked yourself into his hand and he chuckled. “See baby. See how great i can make you feel if you don’t put up such a fight.”  
  
He pulled his hand from you and you whined at him. “Shh.” He said, working at his pants to pull his cock free. He picked you up, placing you onto his lap. “Show me how much you’re going to miss me.” He told you.  
  
The way he said it, and the reminder that you didn’t know how many more times you’d get with him fueled a fire inside you. Grabbing the base of his length you placed the tip at your wet hole and slowly slid onto him with a moan.  
Giving it no time you placed your hands on the back of the seat and lifted yourself almost all the way off of him before slamming back down.  
  
He let you ride him on your own as a string of curses poured from his mouth before he grabbed your hips and held you up, fucking himself into you. Even from this position it was euphoria. The way he handled you, the way he hit the sweet spot inside you, soon you were seeing stars.  
  
“Cum for me baby. Cum on my cock.” Kylo growled out, and you did. Cumming hard as you gripped the back of the seat and yelled out for him. He followed close behind, cursing your name as he did.  
  
He sat back in the seat, bringing you with him, still inside you. “I love you.” He breathed out.

You giggled, climbing off him. “I love you. Now, can we go to dinner? I’m starving.”

Kylo laughed, readjusting himself. “Anything for you.”

  
  
The dinner was long. It always amazed you how much you and the solo’s could find to talk about. When all was said and done Leia and Han grabbed the check before anyone could even blink and everyone stood for hugs goodbye while making there way out.

“I just wanted to tell you.” Liea stopped you just outside the door. “It means so much to everyone how much you’ve been there for Rey. I know you didn’t know any of us that well when this started.”

You blushed, giving her a hug. “Of course.”

“And about my brother.” She sighed. “I know he has yet to contact Kylo, and he will be there tomorrow, but he wouldn’t do anything, not at Ben and Rey’s wedding. Han and Ben have had a long talk with him and although I think he understands his faults now or at least as come to accept them but it might take a while for him to come to Kylo.”

Not exactly sure what to say in this situation, or how Kylo would feel about what you have to say about Luke to his sister right now, you simply nodded and gave her another hug bye as she and Han walked to their car. Making your way back over to Rey, Ben and Kylo you stopped at Rey was telling him bye, giving Kylo a questioning look.  
  
“Ben’s going to stay with us tonight.” Kylo cleared up.  
  
“Ya know, can’t see the bride kind of thing!” Ben smiled at Rey before kissing her hand.

“And that’s the only tradition we’ll be upholding.” Rey laughed.  
  
Guilt dripped through you, although you knew you should offer to stay with Rey your nights with Kylo were on a count down. Still you forced a smile on your face and faced Rey. “I should stay with you.”  
  
Rey gave you a warm smile. “I love you. But I know you and Kylo only have a couple of nights left so no. You should go home with him.” Rey turned to point at her car. “Plus, Rose is staying since she’s doing my hair early anyways. Everything is being taken over for us to get ready, so you just need to bring your bag and your lovely self. I’ll send a car over for you!”  
  
Rose waved to you from Rey’s car, and Rey laughed. You had to clamp your mouth shut to keep your jaw off the floor. “Go! I’ll see you bright and early.” She turned, giving Ben a kiss. “And I’ll see you at the end of the isle.”

The three of you made your way back to the house in mostly silence, tiredness from the day seeping into your bone and anxiety for tomorrow nipping at the back of your neck. Then, as always, there was a slow stretch of sadness that made its way into the pit of your stomach just as it did every night, knowing there were only a few nights left with Kylo in the same bed. Inching closer to him, he seemed to understand as he pulled you as close as he could get you. Once you got home Ben took to the couch, knocking out almost immediately. Once you changed and crawled into Kylo’s arms you weren’t far behind him.

You woke up, groaning as Kylo pulled you into him. “You ready to get up?” He nuzzled into your neck.  
  
“No.” You pouted.  
  
“I know love, but we have to go for Rey and Ben.” He pushed some hair out of your face. “I promise the next 3 days will be stay in this bed, and you will be wearing much less than this.” He pulled on the old t-shirt of his you had slipped on last night.  
  
“Okay.” You nodded. “Kylo.” You stopped. “Can we- Let’s just pretend this is a normal wedding, and that you’re not going to be gone shortly after.” You bit the inside of your cheek as you did. Still not wanting to cry over this in front of him.  
  
“Deal.” He whispered, softly pressing his lips to yours before throwing the covers off you both. “But first, shower.” He held his hand out to you and you smiled happily going with him. When you were done you found Ben already in the kitchen.  
  
“Good morning you two.” He said, handing you a cup of coffee. “Rey has a car coming for you in 20.”  
  
“Shit.” You took a sip of coffee before setting it on the table. “I have to get everything together.”   
  
Running into the bedroom you threw everything you would need into a bag at the center of the bed. Nude bra and panties going in last on the list before you started to zip up the bag but stopped. “Shit. Make up bag.” You said out loud, running to the bathroom. When you came back Kylo was standing near the bed, one hand in his pocket.  
  
“Cars almost here. You sure you have everything?” He told you.  
  
“Thanks and yeah, pretty sure.” You smiled to him grabbing your bag to shove the makeup bag in before zipping it all the way up. “I love you. I guess I’ll see you before we walk down the aisle.”  
  
“I like the sound of that.” Kylo smiled, giving you another kiss.  
  
You jumped into the car and it to you to the venue where Rey was getting ready in the bridal suite. When you walked into room you heard Rey and Rose chatting somewhere in the back.  
  
“Hello!” You yelled through the room.  
  
“In the bathroom!” Rose and Rey yelled in unison.  
  
You walked back to them, stopping short when you saw Rey sitting in front of the mirror. Her hair was pulled back into three buns with a small tiara on her head, her light makeup highlighting her features perfectly. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop from crying at the site of her.  
  
“Rey. You look beautiful.” You told her. She stood to hug you and you felt the tears coming stronger.  
  
“No. None of that.” Rose slapped your hand. “If you make her cry and run down her makeup already, I’ll kill you.” She laughed.  
  
“I don’t even have my dress on yet.” Rey stated and the three of you laughed.  
  
“Okay. Sit.” Rose told you and you looked at her confused. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m doing you too.”  
  
You laughed lightly but did as Rose said. She went to work fixing your hair into a loose look and keeping your makeup light as well, after she was done the three of you spent the remaining 4 hours drinking and listening to music as different people came in to confirm different things with Rey.  
  
“Okay.” Rose clapped her hands together. “It’s almost dress time.”  
  
“Oh!” Rey looked over to you. “You have to wait in the hall so you can see me when I come down the aisle. I want your honest reaction seeing me all put together, so you go change first.”  
  
“You sure you don’t need my help?” You asked grabbing your bag.  
  
“No! Go Go!” Rey smiled and you set off to the bathroom.  
  
You stepped back into the large bathroom, unzipping the garment bag to look at the dress, you smiled to yourself. Placing your own bag, pulling out the rest of your clothes only to find no underwear in the bag. You searched through the empty bag, checking if you’d missed them. Then around the bathroom as if they’d somehow fallen out.  
  
Panicking you picked up the phone and called Kylo.  
  
“Hey love, everything okay?” He asked picking up.  
  
“Actually i need you to bring something up for me when you guys head-“  
  
Kylo cut you off. “Oh, i’m sorry. We’re already here and greeting people babe. Is it really important?”  
  
You paused. Unsure of how to tell Kylo you were about to be completely commando in front of his family. Clearing your throat, you shook your head. “Nope. Not at all. I’ll see ya soon.” You hung up before he could ask any more questions and stared at the dress. It wasn’t see through by any means, but the thought of being bare underneath made you slightly nervous. Nevertheless, you slipped the dress on and gave your makeup and hair a second look before slipping out of the bathroom. Rose gave you a thumbs up before you walked out into the hall.

“Wait!” Rey yelled coming around the corner in nothing but spandex and a bra. “This is for you.” She handed you a small white box. You glanced up at her before you opened it, it was a necklace with a small diamond dangled from the chain. “It’s just a little thank you to my future sister in law.” Rey smiled. You couldn’t talk, knowing that if you did you would cry. You nodded quickly, pulling her in for a tight, long hug. Rey laughed pulling back. “Let me put it on!”

“Yes, please!” You squeaked causing Rose and Rey to both giggle as Rey slipped the necklace on you. “It’s beautiful Rey, thank you. Seriously.”

“No! Thank you. Now go, before we all start crying.” Rey smiled.  
  
Once you were out you walked straight to the end of the hall where a large floor to ceiling mirror was. Checking and rechecking that no one would be able to see anything. You smoothed your dress so many times you were surprised it didn’t have holes in it by now.  
  
“You know, I don’t think you’re supposed to look better than the bride on her wedding day. ” Kylo velvet voice rang out from somewhere next to you, causing you to turn to him. “Wow.” He breathed out and you blushed. He made his way down the small hallway, eyes drinking you in. He quickly wrapped one hand around your waist and the other on the side of your face. “You are truly the most beautiful woman i have ever laid my eyes on.”   
  
“You’re not so bad yourself.” You told him as he leaned towards you.  
  
He kissed you so softly, so deeply and you sighed into him. He pulled back from the kiss, bringing his lips right next to your ear and his breath swept through your hair. “It’s even better being the only one knowing you don’t have any panties on under that dress.”  
  
You eyes shot wide, almost checking yourself for the 10th time when you remembered. Before you left in the car this morning, Kylo was in the bedroom by your bag, with his hand in his pocket. You stepped back, looking up at his smirk. “You.”  
  
He smiled wider before he looked into your embarrassment filled eyes. He patted his chest where the pocket inside his coat was. “I’m sorry, Don’t worry baby. I would never take it that far, i brought them so you can put them on. I was just trying to have some fun.”  
  
You stared at him in disbelief as he took them from his coat pocket and balled them into your hand. You held your hand closed, fist clenching around them as you looked at the concern on Kylo’s face. His eyes searched yours and suddenly a laugh erupted from you.  
  
Kylo looked shocked and you bit your lip to keep your voice down. A thought crossed your mind in a split second. Taking the fabric in your hand, you pulled back his suit jacket to uncover the pocket he’d had stored them in and shoved them back. “Hope it’s not windy.” You winked at him.  
  
It was Kylo’s go wide eyed before his own laugh took over your ears. Before he could reply Ben and Liea walked into the small hall. “Its time to start.” Ben said.  
  
“Okay. We’ll see you up there.” You smiled to him, Liea hugging you before the music started up.   
  
You went to follow down the hall but Kylo caught your arm, pulling you back to kiss you. “I love you.” He whispered.  
  
“I love you.” You said back with a smile.  
  
Once the two of you saw Ben and Leia walking, Kylo waited his turn then shot you a wink before he walked up. Taking a deep breath, you stepped around the small wall hiding you before you headed up the aisle behind Kylo. You gripped the flowers in your hands as you shook slightly, hoping no one would notice, But the fact 300 pairs of eye were on you had yet to cross your mind until the exact moment they were. You kept your eyes glued to Chewie in front of you mostly, but when you side glanced at Kylo he was staring directly at you too. A small smile on his lips, as his eyes danced after you.  
  
You could have melted into a giant puddle just from his look but you kept you pace steady until you took your place next to where Rey would be. Once you turned around the music switched slightly and everyone stood, blocking some of your vision of the back door. But once Rey came into view your breath caught in your throat.  
  
Tears stung your eyes as you watched Rey and Han walk towards the alter. It was the closest you’d think you’d come to watching a model walk a runway. She was stunning, her dress flowing around her as she slowly stepped. The smile plastered to her face had to be hurting her cheeks, but her eyes were locked on Ben. Turning, you also looked to Ben. He was wiping a few lose tears from his face, and that made your heart swell.  
  
Looking past him you caught Kylo who was again looking at you. The familiar feel of butterflies hit you when you looked into his eyes. You stayed like that until Rey got close enough for you to take her flowers as she grabbed Bens hand. Their ceremony was short but sweet. Causing more tears from you and after they kissed the whole place erupted in cheers.  
  
Ben and Rey held hands, heading back down the aisle. Once they were halfway Kylo walked to you, offering his arm as the two of you followed them, with Han and Liea following you. The six of you hid on the bridal suite until everyone was downstairs in the reception hall and the wedding coordinator took you back out to take pictures. You were in every photo with them. Even when you tried to hang back, making sure they get a family photo just in case they would have one or two photo’s they wouldn’t have to crop you out of but Rey and Liea immediately yelled at you, pulling you back in the photos.  
  
Your heart swelled again, in a few short months these people had excepted you in as if you and Kylo had been married for years. Which still surprised you knowing they hadn’t had him back long themselves. Either way, the love poured into moments like this were your favorite. The photographer snapped photos as Rey pulled you in and Kylo held you close. Once that was said and done everyone walked down to wait to be announced into the reception hall. Walking into the hall, as your name was announced with Kylo, you silently thanked Rey and Ben they had decided on no traditional events at the reception such as first dances, the Bouquet toss, the garter toss or speeches.  
  
Those 300 pairs of eyes were on you like glue all night. Although it wasn’t all that surprising. Surely the gossip of Kylo Ren, the estranged son and brother, had returned with a serious girlfriend on his hip had gotten around to everyone here. You tried to ignore those exact eyes and the looks you received most of the night while Liea introduced you to relative after relatively, business partner after business partner, family friend after family friend. Until thankful Kylo could see your growing stress across the room and came to your rescue.  
  
“Excuse me.” Kylo said, stepping up to the circle of names you couldn’t remember if you wanted too and took your hand. “Sorry mom, i need to steal her for a while.”  
  
“Of course.” Liea smiled. “Go have fun.”  
  
Kylo turned then, guiding you back to your chairs at a small separate table off to the side of Ben and Rey’s head table. “Thank you.” You sighed to him when you sat down.  
  
“300 people is a lot of people to meet but i think mom got you through most of them.” He joked, pulling his chair to face you.  
  
“And i can’t remember a single one.” You told him with half sarcasm.  
  
“I don’t even remember half these people.”  
  
“That’s actually very reassuring.” You laughed.  
  
Kylo leaned in and gave you a quick kiss before pulling back. His body was still facing you, but his eyes were locked onto something behind you. Turning you saw Luke approaching the two of you and you stood before Kylo could, knowing you were likely to make less of a scene.  
  
“I don’t think now is the time.” You said before Luke was even fully standing in front of you.  
  
He stopped feet from the two of you, smirking slightly. “A guard dog, this one.”  
  
You crossed your arms over your chest. “And i bite.”  
  
“I come in peace.” Luke said pulling his hands up.  
  
Before you could reply Kylo was by your side. “Are you here to apologize to her?” He asked Luke flatly.  
  
“Yes, and you.”  
  
“Really?” Kylo scoffed.  
  
“Kylo.” Luke sighed. “I’m an asshole.”  
  
“Good start.” Kylo stated.  
  
“I am, honestly. Growing up when you acted out, I thought it was against me. I never took the time to think maybe it had nothing to do with me at all, and you were hurting. After what Ben said, it got me thinking. I also couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t join the family business with your brother, for you father and I but now I understand it wasn’t about hurting us, it was about doing what you loved to do. I talked to your dad, and Ben, and I realize I am the asshole in this situation. I am sorry. It doesn’t make up for shit, but I am.” Luke turned to you next. “And you. The comments I said to Kylo about his relationships was not okay. I wasn’t trying to imply anything about you. But I see where my faults are none the less.”  
  
You said nothing as Kylo’s arm on your waist tightened. You knew he wasn’t sure what to do, and neither did you honestly but the thought of this relationship with his uncle keeping him from interacting with the rest of his family hurt your heart. “Thank you for apologizing.” The words creeped out of your mouth before you could think them through. “I appreciate it, as i’m sure Kylo does but with that being said i think it’s best we table it for now.”  
  
Luke stared at you before looking back to Kylo. “I agree but thank you for the apology. I’m just not there yet.” Kylo told him and you held him tighter this time.  
  
“Okay then. Thanks for hearing me out I guess.” Luke said before heading back to his table.  
  
Once he was gone, Kylo let out a long breath. “That was fun.” You joked.

Kylo laughed, looking around the room. A few pairs of eyes were on the two of you, causing him to shake his head. “You want to dance with me?” He asked, and before you could answer Kylo grabbed your hand, helping you stand before leading you to the dance floor. He pulled you in close to him, swaying you both back and forth.

“This wedding is so beautiful.” You said to him leaning your head on his chest.

He hummed in agreement. “Yes, but I want ours to be smaller.”

You tried to keep your rhythm with him, but your eyes almost popped out of your head as you stared at the floor, brain altered by his statement. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, I understand Ben will be taking over the company, so he had to invite everyone and their cousins here. But I don’t want that for us. Just us, my parents, Ben and Rey. Rose, Finn and Poe too.” He said, his voice so sure.

“That sounds perfect.” You smiled into his chest.

He put his hand under your chin, making you look up to him. “Is that what you want?”

You couldn’t breath under his stare. “More than anything.” You breathed out.

He leaned down, capturing your lips with his for a moment before pulling back. “You want to get out of here?” He asked.

“Can we go? Do we need to do anything else?” You looked around. Most people had started to file out.

“Yeah, there’s nothing left. The staff will clean up.” He took your hand.

“Okay, we should at least tell them bye.” You tugged him towards Ben and Rey.

“If you insist.” He grumbled.

“Leaving?” Ben asked as both of approached him and Rey.

“We’re out of here! Congrats again you guys. Thank you for letting me apart of all this. It was a beautiful day.” You smiled to them. 

“Thank you for everything!” Rey pulled you into a big hug. “Have fun tonight.” She whispered and suddenly you remembered the box under your bed.

You nodded to her before hugging Ben goodbye..

The drive home was to quick for your liking, giving what you were about to do. But Kylo’s mind seemed not to be far off. You hadn’t taken two steps inside the house when Kylo’s hands were on you. He shoved you back against the wall by the door and started kissing down your neck. “You look fucking amazing in that dress.” He said against your skin before he bit down on your neck.

You moaned out when he did, and he wasted no time gliding his hands down to your thighs and hoisting you up around his waist. You locked your legs and gripped onto his shoulders to support yourself as he walked you both through the house to the bedroom. Once there he threw you onto the bed and you bounced slightly, giggling as you did. Kylo smiled at you as he worked on the buttons on his dress shirt. You pulled the dress over your head. Kylo stopped, taking in a sharp breath. He scanned over your body; his eyes hungry. You grew more nervous as he watched you, and he must have caught on because his stare softened as he looked into your eyes. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, um. Nothing is wrong. I just um.” You took a deep breath, wanting to be smoother than you were currently being. “I got you a going away gift.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Did you now?” You nodded, sliding off the mattress to grab the box you had put under the bed earlier in the week. Kylo watched your every move as you brought box and placed it next to him. "Ah, i remember the bag." He winked before he looked down at the box then back to you. “Do I open this or you?”

“I, uh, I think you should.” You said, unable to look at him.

He eyed you carefully before pulling the box to his lap. He opened it slowly and your face felt hot with blush. He stared inside it for a too long before looking back to you, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You gave him a small nervous smile.

“Why did you get these?” He asked.

“Oh, um.” You hadn’t expected to give an explanation. Maybe this was turning him off, maybe you’d had read the situation wrong. “I think- I think you liked being in control, and I know I like it when you are. I just thought with all the ‘don’t make a noise’ and ‘don’t move’ or holding my hands behind my back or holding me down that maybe you’d enjoy- if it’s too far we can forget I did this. I wasn’t trying to step over any lines here I just thought it would be fun.”

Kylo started at you in silence before he placed the box on the bed and walked to you. Pushing your hair behind your ear he leaned in. “You want to play?”

You shuddered slightly, goosebumps raising across your body. “Yes.”

His eyes met yours, the hunger back in them as the darkened deeper than you’d ever seen. “Sit on the bed.”

Slowly you walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge. He came over, pulling the blindfold out of the box and slipping it over your head. Your breath hitched when the darkness took over, you blinked against the blind fold, but you couldn’t make out anything behind it. You heard Kylo in front of you still, and you reached out towards him needing to feel him there. He grabbed your hand, kissing your knuckles before moving to unclasp your bra behind your back. “Did you pick this out too?” He was close to your ear.

“Yes.” You said lowly.

“You are so beautiful.” Kylo kept a knee in between your legs so you knew where he was. Once your bra was off, he brought your hands in front of you together. Taking the handcuffs he secured them there. “Lay back.” He said and you slowly did. He grabbed the middle of the handcuffs and placed your hands over your head. Slowly he slid his hands down your body, hooking his fingers into your thong to pull it off you. Once the were off he stood over you again, pulling your thighs apart. “This is an amazing gift, watching you like this.” He stepped back

You couldn’t feel him anymore, you laid there in the darkness waiting for what he was going to do but nothing came. Your breath was labored when you called out to him. “Kylo?”

All at once his mouth was on your sex, licking at your clit. You moaned out at the sensation. Not being able to see him caused a new reaction from you all together, making you wetter and wetter. “You like this baby?” Kylo said into you. You moaned in response, thrusting your hips into his face and he chuckled as he pulled away. Unable to feel him again, you waited. Anticipation killing you. You tried to listen, but you couldn’t even hear his footsteps.

His hands came down on your arms from the opposite side of the bed making you yelp. He dragged and turned your body like a rage doll propping you up on your elbows and knees, throwing your face down into the mattress. You used your cuffed hands and forearms to steady yourself. He braced himself behind you, hands on your hips to keep you up. You also braced yourself, blinking more against the darkness as he pushed inside you.

You let out a sigh once he was all the way in. He grunted pulling back out then slamming back in. The force of him would have sent you flying forward had he not been ripping your hips is tight. “Is this what you wanted?” He growled out. “Not knowing what I’m going to do? Or when I’m going to do it?” He rocked hard, his grip on your hips cutting into you. You let a cursed – moaned, feeling your orgasm building. “You do like it.” He stated before pulling out of you. You whined at him when he did, but he pulled you to sit on the edge by your forearm before leaning close to your ear again. “Be a good girl, and you’ll get what you want.”

You nodded to him, still not being able to see him. “Open.” He demanded, and you opened your mouth already knowing what he wanted. The tip of his cock slid between your lips and you ran your tongue over him. He thrust further into your mouth and moaned lightly. You straightened your back slightly taking him full before hollowing your cheeks around him and sucking him so he hit the back of your throat. “Fuck baby. You’re so good.” He smoothed down your hair with his hand before locking his fingers in. He thrust hard into your mouth and you gagged. Trying to breath through your nose as he moaned out again. He pulled out of you with a pop before he pushed you back down. Hiking one of your legs over his shoulder he pushed back inside you with one hard thrust.

“So fucking tight.” He grunted and you scream out as his thumb ran small circles over your clit. “I’ve been thinking about this since I took your panties out of your bag.” He grunted. You were seeing stars again behind the blind fold. Not being able to make out the sounds coming out of your own mouth as he melted you into a puddle like usual. You felt the build coming back quicker this time.

“Baby.” You moaned. Kylo ripped of the blind fold and you blinked against the light of the room. Finally focusing on his face. “Look at me.” He growled out. He was dripping sweat, his face red as he held back his own release. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”

You released, walls clutching around him, your body coming off the bed as you did. He came with you, cursing and grunting as he did. You laid back on the bed trying to catch your breath as he flopped down beside you. “Fuck baby.” He laughed out.

You giggled back to him, waving your still cuffed hands in front of his face. “Little help here.”

“Here I come.” He jumped up walking over to the dresser to grab the keys, he unlached them and you rubbed the red marks on your wrists. When you looked up Kylo was standing near his dresser, staring at you.

“What?” You laughed to him. “What’s wrong?”

Kylo continued to stare for a while, before shutting his drawer and walking over to stand in front of you. “I love you.” He told you, so intensely any seed of doubt in your mind evaporated.

“I love you.” You said back to him, pulling him towards you into the bed.

He kissed you everywhere he could, then there was a long moment of silence. “I don’t want to leave you.” He said barley above a whisper.

You bit back tears for the millionth time. “I know, but you’re going to do such amazing things and I’ll be right here waiting.”

“Promise?” He asked, so softly you thought he might be the first to cry.

“Promise.”

Day’s later you stood in front of the airport, watching as Kylo unloaded his suitcases onto the street next to the drop off. “Got everything?” You asked him. It had been a mostly silent morning, neither of you knowing what else to say as the time for him to get on the plane got closer.

“Shit. My wallets in your glove box, one second.” Kylo said, walking to the passenger seat and leaning in.

There was the sound of heals coming closer to you and you turned slightly. A shorter girl, with makeup to dark stood staring at you. “You’re her?” She snorted.

“Excuse me?” You asked, caught off guard.

Kylo stepped up beside you, stopping whatever this woman was about to say in her tracks. “Baby. This is Bazine. She’s going to be my assistant for the next 4 months.”  
  
Your stomach twisted in knots at his words, but you plastered your best fake smile. “Pleasure.”  
  
“Bazine is going to be flying back and forth for me since I won’t be able too. Helping with my scheduling, keeping an eye out here with my replacement. Everything else.” Kylo put his arm around your shoulders. “Excuse us for a moment Bazine.”  
  
“Of course Mr. Ren.” She said, sticky sweet venom in her voice. “It was so nice to meet you Y/N.” She turned then, heading inside the airport.  
  
You turned to Kylo, the dropping feeling in your stomach worsening as the words came out thick on your tongue. “I wasn’t aware you hired an assistant.”  
  
“Oh.” Kylo looked slightly confused at your tone. “In all the craziness I forgot to mention it. I’m sorry love, if it helps it was not my idea. It was the boards. They want me to keep one foot at Supremacy while I’m gone.” He shifted slightly. “She’s also Snoke’s granddaughter.”  
  
You nodded, more shocked but trying to accept the words he said and not wanting your last known moments with Kylo to be ruined anymore.  
  
“Hey.” He said softly, cupping your cheek. “I love you. I’ll be home to visit as soon as I can, or I’ll have you fly up my first free weekend.”  
  
“I know.” You swallowed back tears. “I love you too.”  
  
Kylo pulled you into him, kissing you hard not seeming to care who was around. He held you there, kissing you for forever and when he pulled back, he cradled you into his chest. Placing two kisses to the crown of your head he pulled back, placing one to your lips before reaching down for his laptop bag. “I’ll call as soon as I’m at the hotel.” He said, kissing you again.  
  
“I love you.” You squeaked out.  
  
“I love you.” He returned, before turning and walking to the door. He turned back one last time, giving you a long look before he kept walking.  
  
You walked around to the driver seat and started the car back up, and just as you promised yourself weeks ago, you didn’t let a single tear fall until the airport was far out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THERE FRIENDS!
> 
> To answer any question about her, Yeah Bazine is going to be a problem. A big problem. Of course, she is. hahaha. 
> 
> I hope this was a good length for you, I know I said last week "It won't take me long to post" But, personally I had a pretty shit week so, here we are. 
> 
> Your comments and Kudos really did make me smile though so thank you for being a light in my life, and as always i look forward to hearing your thoughts on this as well. 
> 
> I really hope this is going well and you like it, I'm sure I'll never be confident in my writing but with everything going on personally this week I'm extra anxious. 
> 
> Love you all regardless for the support <3


	20. Start of the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first 6 weeks with out Kylo prove to be made harder by his assistant. 
> 
> AKA: Some fluff, Some smut, some BS and a whole lot of Bazine just putting salt in the wound.

The first day back to work after break was hard, even harder as the night before had been. Your first night alone in the house Kylo’s presence was everywhere. His clothes, his smell, the fact that it was quite literally his house. All these things making it harder that the only thing missing from that presence was he himself. Even so the first day came and with it the realization of your promise to help with the upcoming musical. So here you sat, third cup of coffee of the day, in the auditorium with Poe and Finn watching kid after kid sing and act out different monologues to all different musicals. Even though Hamilton seemed to be the most popular choice lately. Jotting down notes as they went. The three of you sat there for 2 hours as it seemed half the school wanted to be involved in some way. You were beginning to lose interest quickly, thankful that the final student was next and after you could back to your room to sulk.

“Hi guys.” The student said as he stepped on stage.

You looked up to find James standing there and you gave him a warm smile.

“Hey James.” Poe said. “Go ahead when you’re ready.”

James sang beautiful and although you knew it wasn’t possible that he knew it was your favorite musical, he sang “Dancing through life” from Wicked. You don’t think that anything could turn your day around. Not even the several ‘Miss you’, ‘Love you’ and update texts from Kylo did but watching James you couldn’t help but feel happiness surge through you. When he was done the three of you thanked him and once he left you stood to pack your stuff.

“Well, we have our lead.” Finn laughed.

“Tell me about it.” Poe nodded.

“What happens to all the students that don’t get cast?” You asked them, throwing your bags over your shoulder.

“Everyone gets cast. If they don’t get a lead or supporting role, they’ll get into chorus, but no one gets left out.” Poe told you.

You nodded. “I like that.”

“We do too.” Finn smiled.

“So how are you?” Poe asked.

“Me?” You questioned him.

“Yeah, with Kylo being gone.”

“Oh. I’m fine! It’s only been a day.” You pushed a light laugh with it, trying to reassure him or yourself you weren’t sure. “Hey, I have to get going but I’ll see you guys next week same time?”

“You know it!” Finn replied before both men offered you goodbyes.

You sat in your classroom, reading over more essays and trying your best to stop yourself from calling Kylo, knowing that in a few hours he’d facetime you. When grading papers wasn’t working anymore you turned to reading and rereading the paragraphs of I love you texts he had send between meetings. You smiled to yourself as you read over them, laughing at the slightly sexual ones. It had only been technically two days and that man was proving how hard this was on him. You were so involved in reading that you didn’t even notice Rose enter your room.

“Is that Kylo texting again?” Rose giggled. When you looked up you were surprised to find she was with an other woman, both of them strangely similar. “He left two days ago and they both act like they’ve lost a limb.”

“Thanks for that.” You joked to her, standing.

“Oh, it’s cute. Speaking of your husband.”

“Boyfriend.” You giggled at her.

“Boyfriend. Fine. This is his replacement.” Rose gestured to the woman.

“Paige Tico.” She smiled.

You turned to Rose with a confused look, but Rose simply smiled. “My sister!”  
  
You smiled at that too. Partly because you were happy the new teacher wouldn’t also be a concern but that Kylo would hire her. “It’s nice to meet you! Rose has told me a lot of stories.”  
  
“That could either be really good, or very very bad.” Paige laughed.  
  
“All good!” You smiled to her.

“Hey, so Kylo left a box of things in my room and I thought I’d just bring them down to you to take home.” She handed you a box filled with some of Kylo’s books and weird skulls he had kept in the room.

“Yeah of course.” You said putting the box with your bags. “No problem, thanks for bringing them down.”

“Of course.”

“So.” You gestured for them both to sit on the couch. “How’s your first week going?”

“It’s really good.” Paige lowered her voice. “But why is Snoke so creepy.”

You and Rose laughed out at the same time. “We have no idea!” Rose told her.

“Ms. Tico.” A voice came from your doorway. All three of you turned to see Bazine and your blood turned to ice seeing her.  
  
“Ms. Netal.” Paige nodded to her.  
  
“Good to see the three of you use your time so wisely.” Bazine said smirking. Although she tried to make it seem like a joke, all three of you could see past her tone.  
  
“Can I help you, Bazine?” Paige asked flatly.  
  
Her smirked faded. “I’m supposed to grab that box out of your room for Kylo but it’s locked.”  
  
Hearing her say his name so casually twisted your stomach, but you pushed it down. “I have it.” You told her. Her dark eyes finally came back to you as you walked the box over to her.  
  
“I’m perfectly capable of grabbing his things for him.” She stated grabbing the box from your hands.  
  
“I gave it too her. Since she is his girlfriend.” Paige smirked at you.  
  
Rose laughed. “More like basically his wife.”  
  
You blushed slightly but smiled at them. Your happy feeling cut short when Bazine hummed in amusement. “Well. I better get going. I have a flight back to him in a few hours.”  
  
“Okay.” All three of you replied to her shortly. Bazine glared at you before turning on her heals and marching out the door.  
  
“I really dislike that woman.” Paige said when she gone.

“Yeah me too.” You sighed.

  
The ride home was quick, and once you got there you found something quick to eat and opened a bottle of wine hoping that it would sooth your anxiety and help you sleep. At some point it did its job and you dozed off on the couch only to be startled awake by the ringing of your phone. You reached over to pull it off the coffee table, bringing it to your face and hitting accept to squeak out a hello.

“Hey baby!” Kylo’s voice cut directly to your heart. But you forced your best smile forward.

“What’s wrong?” He furrowed his brows.  
  
“Nothing!” You pushed out, trying to sound cheerful as you could.  
  
“Love.” He said flatly.  
  
Sighing you looked to the wall, avoiding his stare which was intense even through a screen. “I just didn’t sleep well last night. I miss you already but I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. I’m really proud of you and I don’t want to ruin it.”  
  
There was a slight pause before Kylo let out a soft sigh with a light laugh. “I swore I wouldn’t do this either. I didn’t want to make things any harder on us.”  
  
You looked back to the phone. “What do you mean?”  
  
“I haven’t slept a minute. I couldn’t without you here and i miss you terribly.” Kylo ran a hand through his hair. “I almost feel like this was a mistake. I don’t know if it’s worth it if it’s going to be this hard for the next four months.”  
  
You felt the tears stinging your eyes but you held them back as you shook your head. “No. It’s not a mistake. It sucks but we’ll get through it.”  
  
“How do you know that?”  
  
“I just do.” You gave him a weak smile. “Now. Tell me all about your fun first day.”  
  
He laughed a little louder this time. “I don’t know if fun was what you would call it. Tell me about you!”  
  
“Well. I saw your assistant today.” You told him, not making eye contact again. “She was picking up that box from Paige.”  
  
“Ah. Yeah I asked her to get that before she few back tomorrow night. It’s good to hear she’s being prompt.”  
  
“Yeah.” You muttered, picking at the blanket next to you. “That’s what it was.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Kylo lifted a brow.  
  
“I don’t want to snitch on your assistant or something.”  
  
“Tell me.” Kylo stated, his voice low.  
  
“Well.” You paused. “She came to my room and she was awfully short with Rose, Paige and I.”  
  
“She came to your classroom?” He asked and you only nodded in response. “For what?”  
  
“I’m not sure, once she saw Paige and Rose she turned the conversation to the box.” You stood, making your way to clean up your room.  
  
“So perhaps she was looking for Paige then?”   
  
You set your glass and plate in the sink. “Maybe.” You shrugged, starting to clean the dishes. “She was weird to me at the airport too, I just don’t get a good feeling around her.” Kylo was silent for a long moment, enough time that you to looked back to the phone to see if he’d hung up. He hadn’t, instead he watched you doing dishes, leaning forward. You could read all over his face he wanted to say something. Sighing you dried your hands on a towel and turned you full body to the phone. “Say it.”  
  
Kylo ran a hand through his hair. “I just.” He stopped, watching you again. “This isn’t a ‘you think I’m fucking my assistant’ thing is it?”  
  
You stood, staring at him. Thinking to yourself you weren’t sure, Was it? “No. I don’t think you are fucking your assistant.”

“Good.” He nodded.

“But I definitely think she wants to fuck you.” You added.  
  
Kylo sat back in his chair, nodding. “Well as long as you know I wouldn’t do that. She’s an employee.”  
  
“So. You don’t care that she wants to fuck you?” You asked, your shoulders relaxing slightly.  
  
Kylo laughed, shaking his head. “No. I don’t actually think she does. She keeps herself professional around me and has never made any passes or indicated anything. Plus.” He breathed out leaning towards the phone again. “You’re the only person i want my cock anywhere near.”  
  
You blushed slightly, thighs pressing together and Kylo chuckled watching you squirm. “But, baby. If it will make you feel better I’ll hire someone else.”  
  
You sighed, leaning on the counter. “No. It’s fine, plus it’s Snoke’s granddaughter so it would probably cause some trouble on the home front.”  
  
“You are correct there.” Kylo laughed again before being serious again. “I need to be better at this, I want to call you on your breaks and I promise to call you every night. Okay?”

“Okay” You smiled to him.

  
  
And try more he did, but after a month went by Kylo’s phone calls during the day became less and less. You didn’t mind though as your workload also increased too. Still every morning you woke up to a text from him and every night he Face timed you while you both worked. You had to admit to yourself at some point you were letting your sadness over take you. Although you couldn't pinpoint the exact cause, the signs were all there. The house was a wreck, you hadn't bothered or cared to cook anything in at least three weeks. The papers you needed to grade were piling up on you, and worst of all you had barley gone out on the weekends, or even during the week with anyone. Rose asked you to go with her and Paige, or her and Finn a couple of times. Even Poe called to ask you to come out, but really you couldn't bring yourself to want too. You worked, you helped with musical, you ordered food, you ate, and you talked to Kylo on the phone until you fell asleep.

One night you sat cross legged on the floor of the living room floor with script and dance numbers spread around you, little notes scribbled all across the papers. You groaned, looking up to watch Kylo on the phone screen you had propped against some books. You watched him, completely lost in his own work as he tapped a pen to his lips. You smiled at the frown on his face. He was so focused, his shoulders hunched as he wrote on whatever documents he had laid around the desk. If you were with him you’d walk up behind him, pull his shoulders back and make him relax. Since you weren’t there though, you would know his back would be hurting in the morning. “Baby.” You tried, but he didn’t hear you. Signing you rolled your head back on the couch, feeling the tension in your own shoulders. Standing you stretched out your back, letting the blanket you had wrapped around you fall to the floor revealing that you only had Kylo’s t-shirt and a pair of your panties on. You peaked at the screen but still he didn’t look.  
  
Watching him, you had a sudden urge to see just how far this could go. Taking your phone into the kitchen with you, you got down a wine glass and a bottle from fridge. Standing directly in front of the phone you pulled the cork out with a pop, and still no reaction from Kylo. You poured yourself a full glass. Sipping the wine, you made your way to the bathroom. Slowly you opened the shower door, placing the phone on a small shelf in the corner you knew wouldn’t get wet. You started the shower up and stripped out of your clothes. You peaked against at the phone but still Kylo sat reading a paper in front of him.  
  
Sighing you dipped your head under the water, giving up on your short lived game. Knowing Kylo would probably not notice a thing until you fell asleep on the phone later. You slowly worked the shampoo and conditioner into your hair before grabbing your wash cloth hanging the hook. You were about halfway done with washing when you took another peak at the phone. To your surprise Kylo wasn’t reading anymore. Instead he was sitting back in his office chair, watching you intensely. You giggled when you saw him.  
  
“What do you think you’re doing?” He straightened slightly.  
  
“Just showering.” You smirked.  
  
“Well then. Proceed.” He told you and you did. Only this time amping it up, knowing he was watching. You made slowly circles up and down your legs, going slowly on your thighs. Coming up to your stomach and breast letting the soap slide down your body before stepping back to rinse off again. You heard Kylo’s belt buckle before you looked to see him, slowly stroking himself to you.  
  
“So fucking perfect.” He said lowly.  
  
You smiled before turning around, bending over to drag the cloth around your ankles giving him full view of you from behind.  
  
He picked up his pace on himself, a low moan escaping him. “Fuck baby. God i miss that tight little pussy.” He groaned out. “Once I’m back in that house, you’re not going be able to walk for a week.”  
  
You hummed at him. “Promises. Promises.”  
  
“Are you challenging me?” He growled and you shrugged in response before dipping yourself back under the water.  
  
He gritted his teeth and you could tell he was ready to cum. “I’m going to ruin you.”  
  
“Show me baby.” You pulled at your nipples. “Show me how much you could fill me up.”  
  
He came hard, leaning forward in his chair as he worked himself through. It wasn’t until he sat back in the chair again that you turned the water off and wrapped a towel around you.  
  
“Fuck I miss you.” He whispered through the phone.  
  
“I miss you too love.” You said walking into the bedroom to put some clothes on and slide into bed.  
  
“You want to- um, did you need me too......” Kylo trailed off unsure of what to do.  
  
You smiled at him. “Nope, you can repay me when you come visit.”  
  
“I can’t wait.” He told you.  
  
You stayed on the phone watching him get back to work until you fell asleep.

The next week dragged on. As the musical started to take off more and more, Kylo’s meetings got later and later. You still woke up to a text every morning, but they had become shorter and repetitive. He only called you twice that week at night because of the bizarre schedule. Still you tried to be understanding and knew how worked up he was lately, not wanting to further aggravate him, you let him do what he needed to. Part of the fact that it had already been 6 weeks helped sooth the anxiety that there were other reasons Kylo became more distant but as you walked into the meeting room for the all staff meeting that very anxiety was staring you directly in the face.

“Bazine?” You questioned.  
  
“I’m just here to keep Kylo updated on what’s going on.” She typed into her phone, not bothering to look at you.  
  
“Ah. Well, Enjoy the show.” You tried to joke lightly.  
  
Bazine looked up, cocking her head slightly. “Do you think that meetings about your job are a joke of some sort?”  
  
You stared at her, shocked. “No of course-“  
  
“It sure appears that way.” She cut you off.  
  
“Hey.” Poe said sliding up to the two of you. “I saved you a spot lets go.”  
  
You nodded to him, Not bothering to give Bazine another look as you walked to two chairs at the center of the table.  
  
“Paige wasn’t joking, she seems like a bitch.” Poe whispered to you.  
  
“Yeah.” You agreed.  
  
Bazine stood along the back wall and you could feel her eyes on you from across the room but you kept yours on Snoke as he went on about the second half of the school year. At the end he introduced Paige to everyone and then dismissed the room. Poe walked with you out of the room until you reached the split for his hallway.  
  
“Well. This is my stop.” He paused. “He, if you need anything at all, you know you can call me right?”  
  
“I know Poe. Thank you.” You told him, giving him a smile.  
  
“Okay. Okay. Good.” He nodded, giving your shoulder a light squeeze. “I’ll see you at the call backs.”  
  
You turned, making your way up the stairs wanting to get back to finish grading the stack of papers so you could head home and crawl into a warm bath, but once you reached the top step the sound of heals stops you. Turning the corner Bazine sat outside your classroom, arms crossed, waiting.  
  
“Can I help you?” You asked her. Not bothering with fake friendly conversation and beelining towards your door.  
  
“Does Kylo know you have a boyfriend here?”  
  
You stopped dead. “Excuse me?”  
  
Bazine smirked. “Ya know, that guy that was flirting with you for the last hour?”  
  
“Flirting? You think Poe was flirting with me?” You laughed. “Kylo is aware that Poe and I are friends.”  
  
Bazine face fell as you laughed at her, only to recover back to a smug smile. “Well. I was just thinking it’s really great that your making it work like that. Both moving on I mean. Long distance is too hard.”  
  
You brain misfired as you listened to her. Was Kylo seeing someone in Chicago? No, he wouldn’t do that. Would he? You stood, your mind spinning.  
  
“If you excuse me.” You walked past her. Shutting your door as you did. Your head still spun, nothing was making sense, yet all of your worry was coming to the surface. You knew there was only one person who could help. Calling Kylo immediately, it rang for a while before he hung up.  
  
“What is it?” Kylo sounded annoyed. You stopped, wondering if it was worth bothering him over. “Well?” He urged  
  
Taking a breath you started. “Well. Bazine came in-“  
  
Kylo huffed. “Seriously?”  
  
“Excuse me?” You asked him shocked.  
  
“This again?” He all but growled. “Listen. I’m busy. I don’t have the time to be dealing with these childish games.”  
  
You stood shocked leaning against your desk, pressing the phone so hard against your hear you could hear his hard breathing.  
  
“We can talk about this tonight, okay?” He stated after a long pause.  
  
You were fuming, so many thoughts raced through your mind at one. “Actually, Mr. Ren.” You finally spoke. “You’re a busy man. Clearly my feelings and concerns aren’t on your to do list this week so you have a great rest of your day.”  
  
Before hanging up you caught the beginning of him saying your name, but you cut him off ending the call. You watched the screen as it rang immediately after, but you didn’t answer. Opting instead to turn off your phone for the night as you returned home.  
  
The two of you didn’t speak for the next two days, ever minute a little dig in your heart.. Kylo tried to call once more and had left 2 voicemails when your phone was off, but you didn’t listen to them. Honestly, you were hurt. This was hard enough being away from him, but lashing out at you when you needed him? He promised he would always be there but you were beginning to think otherwise. When the last bell rang you checked your phone again and your heart stilled.  
  
Only one text from Kylo earlier that read.

  
  
**KR: 10:20 am :** Bazine is stopping by the house to grab some things for me.  
My brown dress shoes. Some papers I left in my desk and my extra charger.  
Just wanted you to know incase things were moved so you wouldn’t freak. I love you, please call me.

  
  
You huffed, throwing the phone back into your purse. It hurt not to hear his voice for the last two days, but you were holding your ground. Against what exactly? You weren’t sure but way he spoke to you was not okay and you were going to make sure he knew that. You walked home, over thinking more and more as you came into the house. Throwing your purse and bag onto the couch you stalked to the bedroom and paused when you entered. You looked onto the bed, sure you had left two of Kylo’s hoodies there for when you got home. You crossed your arms as a weird feeling came over you. The sudden urge to search through your things came over you so you did. The only other thing missing was your grandmothers’ necklace, but you could easily have misplaced that, right?  
  
Looking around the rest of the house nothing else seemed out of place. The only other things gone were what Kylo had said in the text. Giving up on looking you plopped down on the couch, staring at the bookshelf across the room. The yellow vase Kylo had given to replace your sat full off fake violets like the ones he’d once given you. Something next to it caught your eye. Standing you walked to the bookcase, noticing a slanted book. It was odd a book would be slanted seeing you and Kylo had to donate so many books just to fit your favorites on the shelves. That’s when you realized, a book was missing. The Great Gatsby. The copy Kylo had given you was no longer there; you checked and double checked every shelf. Vanished, completely.  
  
It was like the air was knocked from your lungs when the next thought crossed your mind. Bazine. Walking back to the kitchen, you grabbed your phone off the counter to call Kylo but you froze before did. Thinking back to Monday, you wondered if he’d defend her, or just fight with you again. On top of that not speaking since put a wedge in your want to share your suspicions. Setting your phone back down you jumped when it rang. Kylo’s name popping up to video call. You stared at it until the screen went black again, but when it went off a second time you groaned and answered.  
  
“What.”  
  
“I know you’re upset but you weren’t even going to call me after my apology flowers?” Kylo sounded hurt, angry even.  
  
“What are you talking about?” You questioned, propping the phone up on the island so you could walk freely around the kitchen.  
  
“The flowers I sent for being an asshole.” He was holding back, you could tell.  
  
“Kylo. I did not get any flowers, or I would’ve said something. I’m mad, but I’m not rude.” You spat.  
  
“What do you mean you didn’t get any flowers? They sent a message they’d been delivered.” He was half yelling now.  
  
“Well, they’re wrong or they have the wrong address.” You yelled back.  
  
“No. No. It’s the same address as on my credit card and they had no problem charging me for their overpriced flowers!” He was fully yelling now.  
  
“Why are you fucking yelling at me? I don’t work for the damn flower stop bud.” You told him.  
  
He huffed but said nothing for a minute. You stared at your phone screen, jumping when he finally did speak. “I’m an asshole.”  
  
“Good start.”  
  
He laughed slightly. “I’m such a dick, baby. Please. Listen to me, okay? I’m stressed and Monday was a very bad day but I should not have taken it out on you. I should have listened. You were upset and you needed me. I wasn’t there for you and for that I am also so, so sorry. Your concerns are valid. So please, I am begging you. I love you, please talk to me.”

All your anger suddenly flooded out of you, all of your sadness and anxiety finally taking form as tears started to form in your eyes.

“No, baby. Please don’t cry.” Kylo tried to comfort you.

“I miss you.” You managed to squeak out. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to hard to make this be okay, but it’s been 6 weeks Ky. I hate this, I need you. It’s so hard.” You finally broke to him, months of your worry coming forward. Worry that started since the moment he told you he was leaving. It was like the two days of not speaking had built up the water and now the floodgates were open and there was no stopping it.

“I know. I know.” Kylo said, and you could tell he was holding back his own tears. You couldn’t look at him now, it would only make you sob. “Okay. Okay. Hey. Baby.” Kylo cooed at you. “I’m going to work this out? Okay. I need to see you too, in person. So I’m going to make it happen okay?”

You finally looked back to the phone, only to prove what you thought was correct as a single tear slid down his cheek. “Promise?”

“I swear. I’ve been so distracted lately but I promise I miss you more than anyone has ever missed anyone. I love you.”

“I love you too.”  
  
  
The next afternoon after school was out Rose and Paige dragged you to a coffee shop close by so you could give them every detail of what had happened. The listened, shocked at Bazine and Kylo’s behavior, then melting and giving you an “Awwww” as you told them you’d finally talk to him and he apologized. You smiled; your heart a little less heavy than it had been for the last 6 weeks. After crying it out with Kylo and spilling your guts to Rose and Paige you felt a lot better. Kylo’s promise to come only furthering that.

That was until Paige’s face dropped, watching behind you as she elbowed Rose. Rose’s face didn’t drop though, she almost looked pissed. Turning you saw what, or rather who they were both staring at. Bazine.

“How the fuck is she everywhere?” Rose spat out.

You rolled your eyes, turning back around. “Don’t look, hopefully she won’t notice us.”

Paige laughed. “To late, she sniffed you out the moment she walked in. It’s almost as if she’s stalking you.”

The three of you stifled laughs as you heard her heals grow closer. “Ladies.”

“Lady.” Rose all but spat at her, you on the other hand kept your back to her.

“Can we help you Bazine?” Paige asked.

“Just wanted to check in, I was grabbing Kylo some of his favorite coffee before I left to go back to Chicago.” You could feel her eyes on you, but you still didn’t look up. You did furrow your brow as you looked down, knowing for a fact Kylo did not like coffee from here.

“Does he know you call him that?” Rose asked, causing you and Bazine to look at her. “Kylo. Your boss. Does he know you don’t call him Mr. Ren?”

“Well I-“

“I’ll be happy to tell him know.” Paige said, standing and grabbing your hand. “Have a nice flight.”

Rose and Paige pulled you out of the café, laughing about the look on her face. It wasn’t until the three of you got to Rose’s house that you joined the conversation again.

“That girl has it out for you.” Paige said.  
  
“You don’t know the half of it.” You told her, sighing to sit down in the couch with a plop.  
  
“Tell me about it?” She asked, sitting next to you.  
  
“Where to even start.” Rose snorted, and Paige raised her eyebrows at the two of you.  
  
“Well. You obviously know she’s Kylo’s assistant.” You looked to Paige who nodded. “Well, i think she has a weird obsession with him, she constantly is rude towards me for no reason other than we’re together.” You pause, wondering if you should say what you want too. Sighing you continued. “I’m also 90% sure she took some things from our house.”  
  
“What?!” Rose and Paige leaning forward.  
  
“Yeah. So, Kylo gave her a key to stop by and get a couple of things he needed, which isn’t weird. She his assistant, this is her job.” You looked to them for conformation, but they only stared wide eyed in response. “Anyways that night I noticed a couple of my things were missing, and his.”  
  
“What was missing?” Rose asked.  
  
“The copy of The Great Gatsby Kylo gave me. A necklace my grandma had left for me, and a couple of Kylo’s sweatshirts. Which, at first the sweatshirts didn’t seem odd, but they were the ones I wear and he didn’t have it on the list of things she was grabbing.”

“Didn’t you say earlier that Kylo sent you flowers you never got?” Rose asked and you nodded. “Well, I can place a bet were those went.” Rose sarcastically laughed.  
  
“Have you told him?” Paige asked.  
  
You shook your head. “I don’t want to accuse something to him I’m not sure of and look like more of a jealous girlfriend then I already do, or we’ll fight again.”  
  
They exchanged a look before Rose leaned forward more to grab your hand. “You should talk to him.”  
  
You sat back on the couch with a huff. “Fine I’ll ask him about it tonight.”  
  


  
Your phone rang, telling your nightly call with Kylo would be starting. You accepted it, grabbing your wine glass from the island and your takeout box. “Hello!” You sang out.  
  
“Hi my girl.” Kylo smiled into the phone.  
  
“Hi.” You smiled back to him.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
You plopped down on the couch, setting the phone so it was propped up on the table. “Oh, you know, just practicing for the circus.”  
  
“Ah, I wondered when you would be getting around to that.” Kylo joked. You noticed for the first time he was sitting on his bed in the hotel room and not in his usually place at the desk. Giving you his undivided attention, making now just as good time as any to voice your concerns.  
  
“Listen, I need to talk to you-“  
  
“I have something to tell you-“  
  
Both of you spoke at once, Kylo chuckled raising his hand to you. “Go on.”  
  
“No, no. You got first.” You gave him a small smile.  
  
“I’m coming home this weekend.” He beamed at you.  
  
You almost thought you heard him wrong. “I’m sorry, come again.”  
  
“I’m coming home. Tomorrow night until Monday morning.” He told you.  
  
You stood up on the couch. “Don’t play with my emotions Ren.”  
  
“I wouldn’t joke about this.” He laughed.  
  
You jumped up and down yelling things into the phone to him about your excitement while he laughed at you. “oh my god.” You stopped suddenly.  
  
“What?” Kylo looked concern.  
  
“I should probably go grocery shopping.” You laughed and Kylo did too, shaking his head at you. You couldn’t feel anything but excitement, finally being able to hold him in your arms would be an unmatched feeling.  
  
“What was it you wanted you to talk about?” He asked.  
  
“We can talk about it when you get here, it’s nothing we need to talk about now.” You forced a smile to him.  
  
“You sure?” He questioned.  
  
“Totally and completely sure.” You nodded.  
  
“Well then. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kylo smiled wide after he said it. “A car will drop me off, I take off around 2, I have some meetings in the morning.”  
  
“Perfect i can go to the store after school and I’ll make us dinner so it’s ready when you get here.”  
  
He laughed. “Baby. You are dinner.”  
  
You shook your head at him but smiled wide. “See you tomorrow, horn dog.”  
  
“I love you.” He told you before hanging up, and for the first in weeks you felt true happiness.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 150 kudos? What is going on! hahaha
> 
> thank you all for your love <3 
> 
> I really do work hard on these so i hope that it's still good! As always tell me in the comments how you like it ! 
> 
> Also, ummmm, don't get to comfortable :)


	21. Miss me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadness followed by Fluffy Kylo...... and then more sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you need a sadness warning? 
> 
> This is your sadness warning.

The next morning you woke up feeling weightless. Checking your phone, you saw you had not just one but five texts from Kylo telling you have happy he also was this morning. Practically skipping to school, you walked into Rose’s classroom skipping your own.  
  
“Goooood morning!” You sang as you walked through her door.  
  
“Well someone’s in a good mood. I’m guessing your talk with Kylo ended with that bitch losing her job?” Rose smiled, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“Well.” You paused. “Actually, we didn’t get to talk about Bazine last night.” Rose started to say your name in disappointment, but you put your hand up. “But we will talk about it, tonight.” You paused smiling. “When he’s home.”  
  
“Wait!” Rose brightened up. “Are you serious?!”  
  
You nodded, your smile widening so much it hurt your cheeks. “Yep! He’ll be here around 5!”  
  
“I’m so happy for you!” Rose clapped. “And I can’t wait to hear about Kylo’s personal reaction to Bazine’s bullshit.”  
  
“I cannot wait to see it. Although I have to admit after our fight, I’m a little nervous about what he’ll say.” You looked at your feet, slightly ashamed to admit you were scared to talk to Kylo about something so important to you.  
  
“No.” Rose shook her head. “Kylo loves you, and if he sees how stressed she’s been making you, face to face that is, he’ll know somethings up.”  
  
“I guess that’s true.” You sighed, looking back to her.  
  
“No. You know that’s true.” Rose smiled again. “Now go spend the day being happy! You deserve too!”  
  
  
The school day went by quickly. After stopping at the store, you hurried home, dropping the bag of food on the island, and starting up with copping vegetables. The excitement had you buzzing, and you grabbed yourself a glass of wine in an attempt to keep your nerves down. You laughed at yourself, feeling like a little schoolgirl going on a first date with her crush. You were moving around the house, cleaning to fill the time until you could finish cooking. When your phone rang from the kitchen you knew it was Kylo saying he was getting on his plane, so as you answered you turned to place the manicotti in the oven. “Hi baby! Are you getting on now?”  
  
“Love. I’m.” He paused. That caused you to finally look at the phone screen. He was still at his hotel.  
  
“Is your flight delayed?” You asked, but the sinking feeling in your stomach told you otherwise.  
  
“Baby. I am so sorry. The meetings today got pushed which means mine got moved up to tomorrow.” Kylo stared at you through the phone screen and you stared back, bile rising in your throat. “I’m not going to be able to come home this weekend.”  
  
You stared more, not sure if you could talk. “Love.” Kylo said and you nodded at him. Your hands were shaking, every butterfly that was once dancing through your stomach was crushed, wings crumbling as they died.  
  
“Okay.” Was all you could get out through the thick disappointment.  
  
“I promise I will be there as soon I can.” He swore, and you could hear the distress in his voice.  
  
“I understand.” You told him, your voice far away from your ears. In your shocked state you turned back to the oven, switching it off but not bothering to put anything away.  
  
“No. No. You don’t.” Kylo was angry, you could tell but you could not wave through your own sadness enough to comfort him this time. You had been doing it for so long for him and you couldn’t keep up the show right now. “Love. Please talk to me.” He begged.  
  
“I’m just going to shower and go to bed Kylo.” You told him, and before he could say anything else you ended the call. You didn’t bother listening to phone continuously ring in the kitchen for the next hour as you laid in bed. Tears stained the pillow on either side of your head as you thought back to last six weeks and all of Kylo’s on and offs during. Maybe he was starting to feel different.

Thankfully, you had Rose in your life. You had called her the next day and when you broke down at her questioned of “How was seeing Kylo for the first time in so long.” She ran to your house. Bringing wine and food, letting you sob and be miserable for 48 hours before you finally told her you felt better, but the truth was you felt numb. Now it was Friday again, marking one week since you had answered or talked to Kylo. Not from his lack of trying, you could give the man that but from your lack of knowing what you needed right now.

Rose sat in your classroom, talking about something to do with the dance rehearsal Finn was having after school next week. You scrolled through your phone, rereading the thousands of messages Kylo had sent. In some he was sweet, the sweetest words filling your brain and heart with happiness, but others you could tell the anger and hurt he was holding back from your lack of response. Deep, deep down you knew Kylo wasn’t at fault for this, that he couldn’t control what or when they moved things too, but every time you reread those texts with the intent of replying your heart hurt too much to try.  
  
Rose’s soft call of your name brought you back to reality, causing you to break from your phone to look at her. “Still haven’t texted him back?”  
  
“No.” You sighed. “What do I even say at this point?”  
  
Rose shrugged. “I can’t answer that for you but you’re going to have to talk to him sometime.”  
  
“Or, hear me out. I can just wait until he comes home and then I can deal with.” You joked to her.  
  
Rose shook her head, lightly laughing. “6 more weeks? Neither of you would last that long not speaking. I’m actually surprised Kylo hasn’t already stepped down and flew home by now.”  
  
You sat back in your chair. “You don’t think he’d actually do that?”  
  
“Yeah.” Rose laughed. “I do.” You stared at your phone again until Rose stood from the couch. “Get up.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Get up. We’re going to drink.” Rose smiled, walking over to pull you from your desk. “You cannot hide from this forever. So, we’re going to go get a couple of drinks of liquid courage then you’re going to call him.”  
  
Sighing you nodded, packing up your bags to follow her to the bar down the street. Slowly two drinks turned to too many and you realized just how long you and Rose had been there. She listened to you go on about Kylo, only commenting when Bazine was brought up. Things like ‘fuck her’ and ‘I’ll kill her’. After hours of sitting in the bar drinking Rose was the first of the two of you to stand from the table.

“Bathroom!” Rose told you over the loud music, nodding towards to hallway with the bathroom before heading there.

You smiled to yourself as your friend bumped her way through the crowd. You wondered how on earth you were given such amazing friends. Lost in thought you barley registered that someone else sat down across from you in the booth, until a drink slid in front of you. You stared down at the drink for a second before looking up.

“Cassian?” You questioned him.

“Miss me?” He smirked.

“How.” You shook your head. “Why are you here?”

He paused, looking into his glass. “A friend emailed me saying they missed me, and I should come see them.” He smiled up at you.

You stared at him, trying to understand what he was saying. “Are you talking about me?”

“Why else would I be here?” He gave you a confused look.

“Cassian, I didn’t email you.” You told him.

He laughed before he looked at your face. “Are you playing hard to get or something?”

“I think you need to leave.” Rose told him, coming back up to the table.

“Is your friend on it?” Cassian smirked.

Rose stepped closer to your side of the booth. “I said leave.”

Cassian looked at her then back to you before standing to leave. He turned back to stare at you one more time. “This is really fucked up, even for you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You yelled after him as he stormed out the door.

“Why was he here?” Rose questioned.

You shook your head, feeling slightly dizzy. “I have no idea, he said I emailed him but there’s no way in hell I would do that.”

“Wasn’t the last time he saw you he was being punched by your boyfriend? Why would he even come?” Rose questioned leaning onto the table. “I have to go back to the bathroom.” She told you before taking off again.

Realizing that you might be a little too drunk to get either of you home you grabbed Rose’s phone as soon as she left for the bathroom, scrolling through her contacts and finding Finns number. It rang only a second before he answered.  
  
“Hey beautiful. You headed home?” Finn asked.  
  
“Finn.”  
  
He paused. “Y/N?”  
  
“Finn. I think you’re going to need to come get us.” You slurred to him.  
  
“I cannot understand you. Where, are you guys at the place by the school still?” Finn asked quickly.  
  
You nodded for too long before realizing he couldn’t see you. “Yes.” You managed out.  
  
“Okay. I’m coming. Hang tight.”  
  
Laying your head on your arms on the table, you wanted badly to get up and check on Rose in the bathroom but when you tried to stand the room spun and you sat right back down, placing your head back on your arm. You weren’t sure how long you were like that, but the sudden movement of someone sitting next you and moving your hair from your face jolted you upright.  
  
“Whoa. Whoa. It’s just me.” Poe said from next to you.  
  
“Poe?” You questioned.  
  
“Hey, Finn called me. I’m going to get you home.”  
  
Nodding you let him pull you up. “Where’s Rose?”  
  
“With Finn in the bathroom puking.” He laughed and so did you.  
  
The walk home was mostly silent, Poe helping keep you upright and you were thankful for the chilly air that seemed to help focus you, just a little. There was a weird vibration coming from somewhere you couldn’t quiet place, so you choose to ignore it. The two of you stayed quiet until you reached your block.  
  
“Well, I would ask how things are going but it seems I have that answer.” Poe joked.  
  
“Things are a mess Poe.” You said flatly.  
  
He nodded. “Yeah, Rose and Paige told me a little bit.”  
  
The vibration can again, and you realized it was your phone. Pulling it from your pocket you pressed the screen to ignore whoever was calling you and placed it back into your pocket.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Poe asked.  
  
You paused, wondering if you should be spilling your guts for the millionth time that night. Your drunk brain decided it was best to give him the short version. “I just miss him Poe. This shit hard and I’m really starting to think he’s changing his mind.”  
  
Poe paused at your door. “About you?”  
  
You nodded and looked to the door behind Poe. The vibration started again, and you swiped at your screen to stop it. He grabbed your keys from you and opened the front door, gesturing for you to go in.  
  
“I cannot be here.” You told him, turning to walk back down the street. Not wanting to be in the house without Kylo there. The was something that sounded like muffled talking but you ignored it.  
  
“Hey, hey. Whoa.” Poe grabbed your arm. “Where are you going?”  
  
“Anywhere but here. I can’t just be in his house anymore. This is all too much.” You told him, trying to walk but he stepped in front of you.  
  
“Okay. Hold on. You’re too drunk for this right now. Let’s get you inside and sleep it off then we can figure it out tomorrow.” Poe calmly told you. He to obviously heard something because he started looking around.  
  
“No. I can’t!” You yelled, yanking your arm from him. Your phone dropped from your pocket as you stumbled back.  
  
“We need to get you inside.” Poe said as he stopped you from falling on your ass.  
  
The sudden sound of Kylo calling your name stopped both you and Poe in your tracks. Spinning you looked everywhere. “Kylo?”  
  
He said your name again.  
  
Poe sighed picking up your phone. “Hey. Kylo it’s Poe.  
  
“Poe? What the fuck is going on? Where is she?” Kylo was angry, and in dropping your phone you had set it on speaker. His furry echoing of the buildings and down the street.  
  
“Whoa, listen. She’s right here. Say hello.” Poe told you, holding the phone in your direction.  
  
“No.” You huffed.  
  
Poe sighed. “She and Rose got themselves plastered. Finn went to get them, but Rose was getting so sick he called me to get her home.”  
  
“Why is she yelling then?” Kylo demanded.  
  
“Because your drunk ass girlfriend doesn’t want to go into the house without you.” Poe told him, starting to become slightly annoyed at dealing with two children.  
  
Kylo paused a long moment. “Baby.” His voice finally broke the silence. Although your insides melted at the sound of his voice calling you that you didn’t speak.  
  
“Baby. Get in the fucking house.” He said again. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked away from Poe and the phone. “I can already tell you’re being a brat, get in the house.”  
  
Maybe it was the warmth inside you haven’t felt in weeks springing forward, or Poe’s desperate face but you finally turned and walked inside. Heading straight for the bathroom to puke. Through the door you heard Poe still on the phone with him. Poe obviously taken Kylo off speaker as you only heard one half of the conversation.

  
“The first time in a week? Yikes.” Pause.  
  
“No I understand.” Pause.  
  
“I’m going to stay on the couch for the night.” Pause.  
  
“Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”  
  
Poe stayed on the phone in the living room, and after some time you made your way to your room to pass out, leaving Poe on the phone in the living room. You weren’t sure how long it was you tried to listen to Poe’s half of the conversation but eventually sleep took over.

There was a loud ringing piercing through the silence of you room bring you back to the land of the living. You peeled your eyes open, staring at the ceiling willing the ringing to stop. Finally, it did, but only for a short time before it started again. Groaning you rolled over to tap the screen

“Hello?” You croaked out.

“Well good morning.” Cassian’s voice rang in your ear.

Your stomach lurched. “I though it was made pretty clear last night I want nothing to do with you.”

“Then stop contacting me.” Cassian stated.

“You called me?” You questioned him in disbelief.

“You know what I mean. Listen, I know that hard to get was our thing, but you don’t need to do that right now. We both know why you wanted me to come. I get it, I’m just a rebound but hey, I came, didn’t I?”

“I have never been more confused in my life, but do not contact me again.” You hung up before he could respond. What the hell was he talking about? You never contacted him so how would he know anything about Kylo? How did he know where you were last night? Before you could think any more on it your cell went off again and you answered with a harsh “What?!”

“Oh no. No! You do not get to be like that towards me today. Not after I’ve been worried sick about you.” Kylo said surprising you.

“Kylo.” You breathed out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know- I. I didn’t look at my phone before I answered.”

Kylo hummed, getting quiet from a moment. “How are you feeling today?”

“Like shit.” You half laughed.

So did he. “Yeah, you sounded very drunk last night.”

“Did we talk last night?” You asked him. Everything after Poe pulling you from the booth was a little blurry.

“I called you, I had been calling for hours and finally you accidently picked up. Poe thankful had you but I was very worried.” He told you.

You sat silent for a moment, realizing this was the first time you’d talked to him in a week. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“You’ve been worrying me all week. Why haven’t you answered any of my calls or texts?” He sounded hurt, and a little irritated.

“I wasn’t sure what to say.” You paused. “But I’m sorry. I’ve missed you. It’s just been-“

“Hard. Yeah, no I get it.” Kylo finished with a sigh. There was a long pause, neither of you saying anything before Kylo spoke again. “I have to ask you something though.”

“Anything.” You swallowed, nervousness clouding your mind.

“Are we going to work this out?” He asked so quietly you weren’t sure you heard him right at first.

“Kylo.” You sighed.

“Because I love you. I need you in my life, okay? I don’t think you understand that. I don’t think you get it.” He pleaded.

You paused, the realization of what Kylo was saying coming over you. He thought you didn’t want to be with him anymore. “Of course, we are. I love you.” You told him.

“Okay.” He said, sounding as if the world was lifted from him. “Okay, good. God. Don’t do that again okay?”

“Okay.” You agreed meekly.

“I mean it, I almost quit and flew home.” He urged. You laughed lightly not meaning to. “Is that funny?” He asked.

“No, not at all. It’s just something Rose said to me.” You sat up in bed. “Listen, don’t quit you’re halfway done now.”

“Don’t ignore me for a week and I won’t. You are more important than any job. You know that, right? I would give up everything in my life if it meant I got to keep you.” He sounded so desperate for you to understand.

“Okay Kylo.” You smiled to yourself.

“Okay.” He breathed out again. “I wish I was with you right now. This making up doesn’t feel right without it being in person.”

“I know, but soon.” You reassured him.

“Very soon.” He agreed.

When you finally hung up with Kylo you made your way to the kitchen in search of headache medicine and coffee, maybe some something to try to put in your stomach. The sound of snoring on the couch stopped you. Slowly and quietly you crept over to the couch to find a sleeping Poe curled up with a light blanket and a decorative pillow. He had to be freezing. Going back to you room you grab the extra comforter from the closet and threw it over him before starting the coffee pot and taking those meds. It wasn’t until you were halfway through cooking some eggs that you heard Poe stirring.

“Morning.” You said softly walking over to the couch.

“Hey, she’s alive!” Poe joked, rolling onto his back.

“And she’s making breakfast, want some?”

“Sure.” He smiled and nodded.

After you whipped up two plates of eggs and toast you joined Poe on the couch handing him his plate with some OJ. “Here you go.” You gave him a half smile.

“Thanks!” He sat up and took the plate and glass, moving over for you to sit and not wasting a moment to start eating.

“No, thank you for making sure I got home last night. I can’t believe I got that drunk.” You bit into your food, your embarrassment fully starting to settle in.

Poe turned slightly towards you, taking another mouthful of egg and swallowing before he set his plate down. “Can I say something that might be a little forward?”

“I think we’re past forward with you sleeping on my couch and attempting to fix my relationship as I heard last night.” You joked.

“Well, that’s what I want to be forward about.” Poe said, watching you to make sure you were still on board with his truth talk before continuing. “I just wanted to say, I know you’ve been down about Kylo being gone and I understand. But I saw what you two had before he left and.” He paused. “That man loves you. I’ve told you I’ve never seen him like that before and with you it was seeing a completely new man. I talked to him a little last night after you fell asleep and just.” Poe smoothed his hair back. “Don’t give up on the man. He really is doing his best.”

“I know.” You agreed.

“Good, good.” Poe nodded, grabbing his plate again. “Also, he doesn’t seem to know much about the things with Bazine.”

You froze, fork halfway to your mouth. “You talked about Bazine?”

“Was I not supposed too?” Poe furrowed his brow.

“No. I mean, he and I haven’t talked about it yet is all.” You set your plate down, the thought of the wicked witch making you feel sick again. If Poe had told Kylo how you felt why hadn't he said anything about her on the phone? Maybe he didn't know how to bring it up either.

“Oh. I’m sorry, but if it helps. He told me that she’s just an assistant and he doesn’t care much for her either but she’s good at her job.”

“And she’s Snokes family. Yeah.” You nodded. “Still, I’m glad he doesn’t like her personally though. Thank you for that.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Poe laughed, standing to walk his plate and cup in the sink. “Listen I have to head out but if you need me please call, and I’m not just saying that.”

“I will.” You got up to walk him out.

“Chin up.” He told you stepping out onto the front step. “I think it’s all going to turn around very soon.”

You smiled to him, giving him a small wave as he headed down the street. Shutting the door, you finally looked around at the messy state of the house.

“Okay.” You said to yourself. “Time to get it together.”

After spending the day cleaning, doing laundry and getting yourself together you settled on the couch to work on all the papers you had let pile up. A renew sense determination settling into your bones, pushing you forward. Rose called sometime in there to tell you how awful she felt today, spending most of the day nursing her hang over and jokingly blaming you for it. You let her know about your also eventful morning.

No long after that you had a text from Kylo.

**My phone is going to die before this next meeting ends. If you can’t get ahold of me that’s why. I love you.**

You shrugged, texting back that you’d talk to him later and you loved him too.

It was hours you were sitting there grading when you decided you need to enter the grades of the first two to stacks online. Walking to your bedroom you dropped your phone on the bed and started looking for your laptop. Oddly it wasn’t in any of the places you had left it, so you walked through the kitchen and living room looking there too. Nothing. It was nowhere to be found.

Feeling like you were starting to go slightly crazy you went back to your room. Could you have placed it somewhere weird while you were cleaning? With that thought you started going through all your drawers and closet, sometimes throwing clothes onto the bed to try to get through the drawers faster. Still nowhere. You started at the now clothes pile while you tried to think. Could you have left it at school? You stood there, lost in thought when a knock at the door startled you. Looking at the time it was half past Ten at night. You checked your phone, no new messages from Rose warning you of her stopping by and it was too late for anyone else to come. You set the phone down and slowly you walked out of the room and over to the door. Peering through the sheer curtains, your heart stopped. Yanking open the door you saw him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked before the door was even all the way open.  
  
“I missed you too.” Cassian smiled.  
  
“How did you know I lived here?” You pressed, ignoring his try to charm you.  
  
He laughed out. “You sent me your address!”  
  
You looked closer at him. He was clearly drunk, and you looked around to see if anyone was around. “I don’t know what sick game you’re playing but you need to go.”  
  
“Aw. Come on. Don’t be like this.” He stepped closer.  
  
Your first reaction was to step back but didn’t want him to step closer again and into the house. “Kylo will be home soon. You need to go.” You lied, hoping that would get him to back off, to leave you alone.  
  
Cassian stopped, as if remembering for the first time Kylo existed. "Why are you still living with your ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex? Cassian, I don’t know what your doing but Kylo and I are very much together, and I have not contacted you. You need to leave.” You half yelled at him.

"Why do you keep emailing me if you don't want me here?" He narrowed his eyes at you. 

"Seriously? How many times do i need to tell you I have no emailed you!" You were fully yelling now.

Cassian looked surprised by your outburst at first, but then he smirked. Putting his hands up as he turned to walk down the street. “Fine, i'll go." He paused, turning back to you. "but I’ll see you around.” He winked before continuing walking.  
  
You quickly retreated into the house. Slamming the door and locking it behind you. First you made your way to the kitchen grabbing a glass of water before going into the bedroom to find your phone. Without hesitation you called Kylo.  
  
It rang twice before you jumped and yelped at the sound of a phone ringing in the living room. Your heart hammered in your ears. Taking a deep breath, you decided quickly you were going down without a fight. Stomping into the living room you started screaming before you even looked.

“I told you to stay the fuck away-“ your breath caught. Both your phone and water glass hit the floor at the same time, but you barley registered the crash or the water soaking your feet. In the living room did not stand a skinny, mid-height drunk Cassian. No. In the living room stood tall and broad Kylo Ren. He was here, in the flesh. Your mind skipped several beats as a smile spread across your face, but before it could reach a full split you stop, realizing the most important thing. He was _pissed._  
  
“Was that Cassian just leaving our house?” He asked flatly.  
  
You stared at him, not comprehending what he was saying for a moment. “Yes but it’s-“  
  
“It’s not what I think?” Kylo laughed out a sickening laugh that made your blood boil. “Really? That’s what we’re going with?”  
  
“No. Kylo. Listen to me!” You begged, your happiness of seeing him crashing around you with the glass and phone.  
  
He made two long strides to the door, picking up his bag with one hand. “I thought we were going to get through this, huh? I thought you loved me.”  
  
“Kylo. I love you more than anything, please listen to me.” You cried, tears spilling from your eyes hot and fast.  
  
Kylo opened the front door. “Save it. You have the next month to find somewhere else to live. Have a nice life.”  
  
He slammed the door behind him. The bang ringing through the whole house making you unsure how he didn’t split the door in half and with that he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To quote a very fitting vine: "ah fuck, i can't believe you've done this." Oof, don't hate me.
> 
> I know this is probably a little shorter than most chapters recently but, this chapter and the next chapter were one and it was waaaay to long so i had to split them up (along with splitting up my heart, but maybe that's just me.)
> 
> I LOVED HEARING FROM YOU GUYS! I laughed at all the Bazine hate because, me too guys, me tf too. What is this bitches problem? 
> 
> Let me know how you're feeling about this!  
> because the next chapter is already written i will have it up before the end of the week, and yes i know i've said that before but it is actually completely written this time and ready to go.
> 
> ALSO ALSO: Thank you for accepting my typos, i was editing last weeks chapter and my GODS. I am dyslexic as hell but lord. hahaha. Love you guys! See ya soon!


	22. A lot to talk about

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo chat.  
> and everyone's least favorite assistant stops by.
> 
> Trigger warning in the beginning of chapter notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A TRIGGER WARNING FOR DRUGS:  
> Y/N does get her drink *messed with* and some things almost happen but i have put a * there.
> 
> The situation is talked about after and that is also * marked. SO look for the third * to have just some plot.  
> Please make sure not to push your triggers for an online story. As much as i love doing this and people reading it, you are more important. :) 
> 
> As for everyone else, HERE WE GO. Let me add fuel to the Bazine fire, shall I?

You stood staring at the closed door for only a moment before you stormed towards it. Throwing it open so hard you were sure the handle put a hole in the wall. You looked around and saw Kylo storming down the street. His bag jumping as his hand as he feet assaulted the pavement.

“Oh no you don’t.” You yelled as you ran towards him.

Kylo turned at the sound of your voice from behind him. He stopped in the middle of the empty sidewalk and you could tell he was still fuming.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” You said when you finally reached him.

He snorted at you. “You cheat on me and somehow you think that I’m just trying to push you away?”

“Excuse me? Cassian is basically _stalking_ me, which you would know if you weren’t so fucking stubborn and stopped to listen for a second." You yelled at him, not caring who was around to hear, if anyone was at all. "Why are you so adamant that I cheated on you? Why would you even think that?” You stepped towards him again and Kylo’s eyes dropped to the sidewalk. You watched his face as a realization came over you. “It’s Bazine isn’t it?”

He didn’t answer, running a hand through his hair instead. That was all the answer you needed. Turning away from him you started back to the still open front door but Kylo caught your arm. “Wait.”

“Are you fucking her?” You asked bluntly, spinning back to him.

“What?!” Kylo yelled. “How many times do I have to tell you no?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Well, clearly you don’t care when everyone around you tells you she’s a bitch, or that she makes me uncomfortable.” 

“What? What are you talking about?” He looked confused.

You stopped a beat, lowering your voice. “What did Poe say about her to you?” 

He paused, thinking. “That she was rude when she was here. That you didn’t like her. Nothing that you hadn’t said before.”

You stared at him, watching his eyes search you for answers. Finally with a sigh you ran a hand over your face. “You trusted what she said before you even had a chance to ask me about it. You told me I was the one thing in life that you needed and you were going to leave me 5 minutes ago without a conversation.”

“No, wait. I never was going to make you move out I was just upse-“

“Regardless.” You put your hand up to stop him. “This isn’t okay, and we need to talk about a lot.” You paused. “Tomorrow. Because today has just been too long.”

Kylo nodded. “I think it’s best I still say at a hotel until we both talk and calm down.”

It hurt hearing him say that. He was finally so close, even with everything going on you wanted to tell him no. Tell him to come inside and into bed and hold you. “You could sleep on the couch.” You offered him.

He looked at you, then at the open door. “If I walk into that house, we both know what’s going to happen.” He half smirked. “I don’t think that’s what we need right now.”

You nodded, looking away but agreeing with him. “Okay.”

“Hey.” He said, putting his finger under your chin to get you to look at him again. “I love you. No matter what.”

“I love you.” You whispered; his skin hot on your face. “But that outburst was not okay.” You stared into his eyes, and for a moment you thought he would lean down and kiss you. Before you let it happen you cleared your throat and Kylo stepped back.

“The only reason they let me come here was that if I go have the meeting with Snoke on some policy changes so that what I’m doing tomorrow afternoon but after I’ll call you. We can meet and talk?” He asked.

“Sounds good.” You agreed again.

Kylo walked you back to the steps before turning to walk back to find a hotel. You watched him walk down the street and every step he took crushed you. Here he was, finally here in front of you and everything was so messed up you couldn’t even have him. At least not right now.

In the morning, after making breakfast you called Rose to update her on everything that had happened.

“I called you yesterday.” She joked. “How did so much happen so fast?”

“I wish I could tell you.” You laughed.

“Well, I was going to invite you out tonight but it seems like you have other things to attend to at the moment.” She said.

“I know, I still have to talk to Kylo.” You told her.

“Well, call him and let me know. Maybe if you guys work stuff out and are okay, you can come out. We miss his grumpy ass too.” She said laughing again.

“I will tell him you said so. Let me call him and I’ll text you.”

“Okay” She agreed hanging up.

You called Kylo then, and just you thought you might get his voicemail, he answered. “Hello?” He sounded like you had woken him up.

“Sleeping in?” You asked.

Kylo moaned, the sound of sheets rustling telling you he was rolling over. “What time is it?” 

“Almost noon.” You told him.

“Shit. Yeah.” He laughed, and even with everything going on that sound made you smile. “I haven’t slept in since I left. I barley sleep at all really and last night was no exception I guess once I finally did fall asleep my body decided it needed more.”

“I understand what you mean.” You agreed. You haven’t slept well since he left, and he had told you in the beginning he wasn’t sleeping either. “Um, what times your meeting?”

“In about 2 hours. I need to get ready. It might take a while but I can text you when I’m done and we can talk.”

“Yeah, actually Rose wanted us to come out so I might go with them until your done. You could pick me up and say Hi then we could go-“ You trailed off, not sure where to even talk at.

“We can go eat, I think it’s better than the house for now still.” He told you.

You agreed. “Yeah okay.”

“Just text me the address and I’ll see you there, just don’t get so drunk I have to carry you home.” He joked. Even his light joke made you smile.

“I promise.” You told him before hanging up.

So that’s what you did, a little later Poe came by and you two walked to the bar in between your house and Rose and Finn’s. You sent Kylo the address for the bar just in case you missed a call or text from him. When you entered Rose and Finn were nowhere to be found.

“They might be a little late, Finn said they were out doing wedding stuff.” Poe told you.

You nodded, now feeling bad you hadn’t asked Rose about any of their wedding planning. “Should we get a drink?” You asked him.

“Sounds good.”

One drink later you and Poe sat in comfortable silence, people watching around the bar.

“Hey, I’m going to go use the rest room.” You told him.

“I’ll get another round.” He nodded, standing to head to the bar.

*

You returned from the bathroom to find Poe had left you a shot on the table, thankful he wanted to calm your nerves. You took it, checking your phone to see if Kylo was close or not, but there was no message from him yet. Looking over you saw Poe had found Finn and Rose. Making your way over to greet them you started to feel dizzy. As you hugged Rose you felt slightly weak, as if your knee's might give out. You only had the one drink and shot that was left for you, you’d been here just under an hour.

“What was in that shot?” You asked Poe.

“What shot?” He questioned.

“The one you left by my seat at the table?” You asked.

Poe shook his head. “I didn’t leave you any shot. I didn’t even get our drinks yet, they walked in as soon as you went to the bathroom.”

“Are you okay?” Rose questioned.

You stared at them, the room slightly spinning. “I need some air.”

Before they could respond you walked out the door, turning to the side between the two bars as you tried to take deep breaths. Slowly you started to feel more tired, the sun had barley started to set. What the hell was that shot? You knew you needed to go get Poe, tell him to take you home but when you turned to make your way to the door you were met with a familiar face.

“Cassian?” You questioned.

“Feeling okay?” He smirked, taking a step towards you.

You felt the brick wall behind you. Head meeting it first. “Please.” You breathed out.  
  
“Kylo fucking Ren? Really? That’s who you choose over me?” Cassian laughed. “I fucking loved you.”  
  
“No you didn’t Cassian. Please stop.” You cried, the fuzziness around your eyes getting worse.

“You know.” He walked closer to you. “Your friend Bazine told me you guys had split up when I saw her, and then you emailed me, and it felt like everything was slowly coming together for us.” He stopped so close to you, if you took to deep of a breath your chests would touch. “But then you started acting weird, and I thought maybe it was some cat and mouse game. There was no way you could be so crazy as to bring me here with the promise of love and a life together only to send me off every time I saw you. But then I got it, it was Ren. He was keeping us apart.”

He brought his hand to your face, collecting your tears as his thumb skimmed across your cheek. “Sh. Don’t worry sweets. I’m here now, we don’t have to worry about him.” You saw his face getting closer and you tried to turn your head, but he drug his nails into you like claws keeping you in pace. You couldn’t hear your own voice saying no over and over as your heart beat picked up in your ears.  
  
One moment Cassian was closing in on your lips, the next he was gone. All the pressure on your face released as you heard several voices yelling, one screaming in pain. The sound of grunting overtook your ears as you fell to the ground. Bracing yourself on your hands and knees you dry heaved until a hand back on your face brought you back.  
  
Quickly you snapped backwards, and felt your back hit the wall but the hand stopped you from cracking your head. “Love.” A deep voice said to you. You tried to look up. To find him. It had to be him but the haze over your mind brought you into the blackness.  
  


*

You woke up, groggy as you tried to remember what happened. _The shot_. You jolted, feeling a body move next to you. You didn’t think, just punching into the darkness toward the figure.

“Jesus Christ” Kylo said followed by your name. “It’s me.” 

“Kylo?” You questioned, not believing it was real. The pain in your knuckles telling you it very much was.

He sat up, moving to turn on the light. “Yes. God.” He held a hand up to his cheek. “You shouldn’t be able to hit that hard, that’s not right.” He half laughed.

“Why are you here? What’s going on?” You asked sitting up more.

Kylo sighed, turning you and himself so you were facing each other. He held your hand in his own, completely covering them. “Cassian, he put something in a shot Poe assumed, then left it at the table. I guess you thought it was Poe who left it, so you didn’t even think about taking it.”

You nodded, half remembering but not clearly.

“There is-“ Kylo sighed, shaking his hair out of his face. “There’s more. But I could tell you in the morning we don’t have to do this now.”

You peer around him at the clock. 3:55 A.M. “Did he……” You trailed off.

“No.” Kylo said urgently. “No, I saw you when I walked around the corner to go into the bar. I grabbed him. I would have killed him too if Poe didn’t come to find you right after.”

*

“Okay, then. What else?” You asked, looking to your intertwined hands.

He took a deep breath. “Bazine.” Her very name made you scrunch your nose in disgust. “Poe told me everything, I guess you thought he told me on the phone the night he brought you home, but he didn’t. I had no idea, why didn’t you tell me your suspicions?”

“I did, well I tried but….”

“But I snapped at you.” He said, understanding.

“After that I was scared if I brought it up again, I’d lose you.” You told him, not meeting his eyes.

He lifted your chin to him. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Please. I want to hear everything from you.”

“Well, for starters she call’s you Kylo.” You told him.

“She’s never called me by my name to my face.” He replied.

“Well she does to everyone else. And the day she came to grab your box from Paige she was very rude and then when she stopped by the house your sweatshirts that I always wear were gone, the necklace my grandma gave me and…..” You stopped, looking away then back to him. “The original copy of the great Gatsby you gave me.”

Kylo nodded, grabbing his phone from the nightstand, and showing you his lock screen. It was a picture of the two of you on the couch. You were in one of his missing sweatshirts, your grandmothers necklace visible on your neck and in your lap was the book. “I told one of the directors the story of how I gave you the book when she had mentioned that she also collected originals. Bazine was with us.”

You stared at the photo, then back to him. “I’m sure she’s seen my lock screen many times as I open my phone to send her documents, lists, things I will need for her to get.”

You couldn’t believe after all this time you were right. “You said you had more on her too?” you asked him.

“Cassian. When Poe got me off of him, he told me Bazine had told him we broke up, and that you had emailed him talking about how you always loved him but couldn’t tell him.” Kylo ended, giving you a questioning look.

“I never emailed him. I can’t even find my…..” You shot of the bed. “Kylo, have you sent Bazine here since that time you told me about?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Okay.” You nodded as you started pacing. “Did you get your key back from her?”

“Yes, the day she gave me the things she picked up.” He stood and walked towards you.

“But she could have had it copied?” You gave him a look. It wasn’t a really a question.

Kylo pressed his lips into a flat line. “It’s possible.”

“Oh my god. Kylo. That means who knows how many times she’s been here.” You started pacing.

“Who knows what else is missing.” You stopped then, looking at him before running into the living room.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, following you.

“The vase.” You pointed to the bookshelf. “Did you talk about it with her around?”

Kylo thought for a minute. “Yes, I told the director about it. She also collects antiques.”

“Lots in common.” You muttered.

“I’m stuck with these people almost 24/7. Our personal lives do come up here and there and you’re my favorite subject.” He stated.

That would have made you smile if you weren’t so terrified. “As much as I love that, that means who knows what else she knows about.”

“You’re right.” He nodded.

“I think she brought Cassian here.” You told him.

“I think you’re right.”

“I also think she took the flowers you send me.” You admitted.

Kylo nodded. “I think it’s safe to say that you didn’t receive my gift then?”

“What gift?” You questioned.

Kylo shook his head. “A bracelet I sent with her to leave in your room.”

You paused. Thinking. “What are we going to do? Do we call the police?”

“No. Not without proof.” Kylo started back to the bedroom. “I’m going to make some phone calls in the morning, she’s still at the hotel in Chicago to my knowledge, she doesn’t know I’m here. I think it’s best we keep it that way. If she thinks she broke us up who knows what she’ll do if she knows she hasn’t.”

You followed him, stopping to lean on the door. “She hasn’t?”

He turned back to you, shaking his head. “No. Of course not. I’m sorry I doubted you and didn’t listen to you. I should have known better, I should have….”

You walked over to him, finally wrapping your arms around him. “Me too. I should have known you wouldn’t do that to me.”

He wrapped you up, bringing you down onto the bed with him and pulling you onto his chest. You lifted your head to look at him. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

“You have no idea.” He laughed, as he looked into your eyes. Slowly his lips came towards you and you wiggled up to meet him halfway. When your lips finally connected it was like your first kiss all over again, the butterflies making their full return. Kylo was the first to pull away, cupping your cheek with his free hand. “I promise, I will never let anything happen to you and I promise that I will never handle a situation so poorly ever again.”

At some point the two of you fell back asleep, and when you woke up Kylo wasn’t in bed. You laid there, staring at the ceiling wondering if it had all just been a dream until a sound in the kitchen made you jump. Slowly you got out of bed and crept down the hallway, breathing out a sigh of relief when you saw Kylo cooking breakfast while quietly talking on his phone. He turned to grab another egg off the counter when he saw you. He gave you a small smile and held up one finger to you, indicating he was almost done talking.

“Yes, we’ll be in soon. Thank you.” Kylo muttered into the phone before he ended the call.

“Work stuff?” You asked as he set a plate down in front of you.

“That was the private investigator. We have a meeting with him this afternoon.” He told you, sitting down across the table. You nodded, starting in on your food as he continued. “Until they find what they are looking for it’s best we let Bazine believe that we haven’t figured her out.”

“Understandable.” You agreed.

“But, with that being sad. I called the director in Chicago-“

“You’re new best friend.” You joked.

Kylo rolled his eyes playfully before continuing. “I told her I have a personal situation, and I won’t be back until tomorrow night, and not to tell anyone where I was.”

“So, you’re staying another day?” You stared at him.

“I am.” Without hesitation you leaped out of your chair to hug him. He pulled you into his lap, hugging you back. After awhile of you both sitting like that Kylo let out a light laugh. “We should probably get ready to go.”

As you walked out of house Kylo paused next to his car. “Have you driven my car at all since I’ve been gone?”

“No.”

“Best we take yours then incase Bazine chooses to stop by.” He mumbled.

The thought of Bazine coming back made you want to puke your breakfast out, but you nodded throwing Kylo your car keys. “I’ll still let you drive.” You tried to joke.

30 minutes later the two of you sat in a small office as you reexplained all the things that had been going on since Kylo left to the PI. She nodded, taking notes as you talked. Kylo then told her his side.

“Is there any way to get in touch with this Cassian guy?” The PI asked.

You nodded. “I have a number he called me from.”

Kylo’s brow furrowed, and you realized you might have never mentioned that part.

“That would be good if I can get a statement from him, but we need to make sure he doesn’t have any ties to Bazine.” The PI told you both. “Well, I will start my drigging tonight. I might have to call either of you for further questions, but this shouldn’t take more than a couple of days.”

“Thank you.” Kylo said, standing to shake her hand and you followed.

Neither of you spoke until you were back in the car and driving away from the building. Kylo was the first to break the silence. “How is the musical coming along.”

You looked over to him, studying to see if he was joking before you laughed out. “The musical. God. You know, I almost forgot I was even a part of that with everything going on.”

“Well, your life is still there.” He stated.

“It’s coming along, I’ve been helping with casting and the start of rehearsals, but we still have awhile until they perform.” You told him.

He nodded. “End of the school year, correct?”

“Yeah, right before we let out for summer break.”

“What the hell.” Kylo said suddenly, pulling your car over.  
  
“What’s wrong?” You asked him.  
  
“Your cars overheating.” He said, annoyance coming through.

“What? How? It was perfectly fine Wednesday.” You questioned.

“Hang on.” Kylo stepped out of the car, popping the hood. You watch him as he lifted the hood and some smoke came out. Once it cleared, he looked around, pulling out several things and replacing them before coming around to the passenger window. “Come on, I’ll call the tow company to take it to a shop. We’re only about 7 blocks from the house anyways.”

You slowly grabbed your and Kylo’s things from the car, making sure your glove box with also cleared out. When you turned back to him you could tell he was lost in thought. “Kylo.” You said, bringing him back. He reached out a hand to grab your bags from you and started walking once he was sure you were ready. You walked in silence, letting him think over whatever he needed to until you walked through the front door. Once he was in, he set your stuff down and started making his way to the bedroom. “Hang on a second.” You told him, and he stopped.

“Kylo. What was wrong with my car.” You urged.

He looked out the back door then back to you. “It looks like someone took a baseball bat to your engine. You have a cracked radiator; your oil is completely drained and there’s little chips missing all over.”

“Oh.” You thought it over. “You think Bazine did this?”

“I do. But that means she has been here since I have been. Which means we have no idea if she saw us together.” He looked so concerned.

You couldn’t help but go to him and wrap your arms around him, but before you could fully get there he stepped back. “Stop.”

You stared at him. “What?”

“Stop comforting me. Stop loving me so much. I did this, don’t you see? I let this go on and I put you in danger. That engine could have caught fire, the whole car could have gone up. Do you know what I would do if something had happened to you?” He was breathing so heavy.

“No. You stop.” You told him, and he looked at you confused. “I didn’t speak up, okay? This is my fault too. We both handled this like shit. How were you going to fix something you knew nothing about?”

He stood, his fists balled at his side for longer than you would have liked before his shoulders relaxed. Again you stepped towards him but this time he met you halfway, pulling you into him. “I think someone should stay until I get back.”

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed. “But can I use your car while mines getting fixed?”  
  
Kylo sighed, stepping around you. “I was actually going to drive myself to the airport this time.” Kylo said casually. “Seeming as I’ll be back next week.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “You’ll be home again next week?”  
  
He nodded, a smile finally coming over him. “I’ll have to go back for a few days for board review but yes. I’m coming home.” Without hesitation you jumped into his arms, pulling him into a deep kiss as you locked your legs around his waist. “I hoped you’d be happy.” He breathed, breaking your kiss.  
  
“So happy.” You beamed at him.  
  
“But, I guess you can use my car for a week instead.” He shrugged.  
  
“No. I can walk to work. It’s getting warmer outside anyways.” You smiled. “Plus if you’re cars sitting there racking up money by the day I know for a fact that you’ll come home.” You joked.  
  
Kylo laughed. “Did you just call me cheap?”  
  
“Me?” You pretended to be offended. “I would never.”  
  
“You’re going to pay for that one.” Kylo said, voice low, sexual.  
  
You giggled as you tried to escape from his arms. “Oh no.” He told you, walking you back to the bedroom. “Let me show you what you have to look forward to next week.”

  
  
The next day, even though Kylo was sound asleep peacefully in bed you were sitting behind your desk in your classroom. When the day was over you took the time to let Rose in on everything going on.

“Do you need to stay with us? Or I can come stay there.” She offered.

“No that’s okay. Rey’s coming.” You told her.

“Good.” Rose replied, before going on a rant of all the things she’d loved to do to Bazine. You were half listening, tapping your foot against the desk when a small sharp pain hit the top of your foot.  
  
“Ow, what the hell?” You pulled your foot back. Luckily it had only gone through your shoe.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Rose asked coming around to look where you were.  
  
“I don’t know, something sharp was on the bottom of my desk.” You rubbed the top of your shoe where there was a small slit now.  
  
“Let me look.” Rose moved you out of the way to crawl under your desk. “This is weird.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Well.” She paused. “It looks like someone literally bent the metal on the edge here. Almost looks to be on purpose, someone had to have used tools to do this.”   
  
You crossed your arms over your chest about to reply when the sound of heals coming towards you took over your ears. You turned to the door just in time to see Bazine walking in.  
  
“Can I help you.” You said flatly, not bothering to fake nice with her today.  
  
“I was just checking in.” She gave you a fake smile. “I know last weekend didn’t go as planned. Shame really that Kylo couldn’t come home.”  
  
“I’m sure it is Bazine. I’m fine. You can go.” You turned from her but before you could acknowledge Rose under your desk Bazine spoke again.  
  
“I’m sure he told you his meetings got switched right?” Bazine walked closer to your desk, putting her hands down on the top.  
  
“Because they were.” You replied flatly. Every part of you was trying not to show that you knew exactly what she was doing.  
  
She laughed. “Hmm. I’m sure. Has it ever crossed your mind to think he didn’t come home because he doesn’t need too?”  
  
You looked down, catching the bracelet she was wearing for the first time and your stomach dropped. Engraved in it was “forever - KR” in Kylo’s handwriting. When you looked back up to her, she smirked. “I’m taking very good care of him in Chicago.”  
  
You stopped, the world spinning. But what came out of your mouth didn’t process until the words were already out. “I’m sure whoring yourself out to men who will never love you is quiet fulfilling.”  
  
One minute you were standing the next Bazine was on top of you as you crashed to the ground. “He doesn’t love you anymore!” She yelled. “Let it go!”  
  
And as suddenly as she was on you, she was gone. You looked up and Rose held her up by one arm. “You can get the fuck out.” Rose growled out to her.  
  
“It’s true you know.” Bazine said to you, ignoring Rose.  
  
“You are delusional sweetheart.” Rose said.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Pagie’s voice rang from the doorway. Looking over you saw Paige and Poe standing there.

Bazine ripped her arm from Rose. “I was just explaining to these ladies that Kylo is very happy in Chicago.”

“That’s not what I’ve been told.” Poe laughed at her.

Paige stayed straight faced. “Mr. Ren will he hearing about this.”  
  
Bazine huffed, crossing her arms before turning back to you. “This isn’t over.”

“Actually, it very much is.” Rose growled, grabbing her arm again and dragging her from the room.  
  
Once she was out the door and down the hall Poe pulled you back to your feet. “You okay?”  
  
“No.” You shook your head.

“Is Kylo actually fucking her?” Paige asked concerned.

You shook your head. “No. He’s at our house, But I need to get there now and talk to him. Can one of you drive me?” All three nodded. “Great, I’ll explain in the car.”

Once in the car Poe called Kylo to warn him of the incoming, and to give him a short version of what Bazine did. Once Rose’s car pulled up outside your house Kylo open the front door and you bolted to him. Crashing into him as he held you. It wasn’t until then that you cried.

“Sh, love. It’s okay, you’re safe. I’m here.” Kylo tried to comfort you, pulling you further into the house as Rose, Paige and Poe came in. Kylo gestured for them to sit as you continued to cry into his shirt. “Baby.” He cooed at you. “Please take a deep breath.”

You did as he asked, trying to calm yourself down. “She had the bracelet.” Was all you could get out, but Kylo knew as much as you did that was enough proof for the both of you.

“I’m really sorry to interrupt but Kylo, can you tell us that we can go ape shit on this woman?” Paige stated.

“I wish I could.” Kylo told her, bringing the both of you over to the couch. “Unfortunately, with the police and private investigator involved we can’t touch her, or it would ruin the case.”

“Private investigator?” Poe questioned and Kylo nodded. “Shit. How rich are you two.” He muttered. 

Paige shot Poe a look before turning back to you and Kylo. “Okay so what can we do in the meantime?”

Kylo looked around at everyone. They all stared at him waiting for answer. “Right now, we just need to protect her. Make sure she’s not alone and that Bazine can’t get to her.”

“Okay.” Rose nodded. “So, Fin and l can stop by in the mornings and drive you to work.”

“And I can bring you home.” Poe added.

“And if she comes back to the school for some reason, I can keep her busy with ‘tasks Kylo sent me’” Paige agreed.

“And Rey and Ben are coming to stay at the house, so she won’t be here alone either.” Kylo told them.

Everyone then looked to you and you looked each of them in the eyes. All of your friends gathered to come to your rescue, and you couldn’t help the fresh tears that came to your eyes. “Guys. I can’t ask you to do this.” 

“You’re not.” Poe said.

“We care about you. We don’t want anything to happen to you.” Rose grabbed your hand. All you could do was nod at them to keep yourself together.

“Okay. This is sensitive timing so we need to make sure this looks as natural as possible.” Kylo told them. “Once I return tomorrow to Chicago the PI will be there, I’m going to send Bazine somewhere to get documents for me so they can search her room.”

Everyone nodded that they understood and after more talking over the plan and a few more thank you’s from yourself and Kylo everyone left. Once they were all out the door, Kylo rejoined you on the couch, bring you into his arms.

“It’s all going to be okay love.” He whispered to you.

“My whole life is going to be on watch now.” You mumbled to him, the realization of how bad this could get sinking into you.

“I know.” He rocked you lightly in his arms. “And I am so sorry, but I feel so much better knowing that someone will always be with you.”

“I guess it helps.” You sighed.

You started to relax into him, the weight of the world slipping off you while you did. Kylo rubbed slow small circles into your shoulders as he hummed. You were starting to fall asleep in his arms when a knock at the door startled you both. Kylo stood from the couch and slowly walked to see who it was. You followed closely behind him, using him a human hiding place as you got closer to door. Kylo’s large body blocked the door, keeping you from seeing just who it was. Kylo only peeked for a second before sighing. Stepping back he pulled the door open to reveal who it was.

“Rey!” You yelled, smiling as you saw her.

“Miss me?” She asked with a smile, walking to wrap you in her arms.

“I sure did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can i offer you more drama in this trying time? lol.
> 
> Uh, Hey guys so. I posted it earlier than i thought i would hahaha.  
> Reading all the comments i couldn't help myself of make you wait! I'm not great at secrets and clearly this is no different. lol. 
> 
> I say this every time and i will continue to because YOUR COMMENTS MAKE ME SO HAPPY! I love that you guys are still loving it and i really do hope this chapter is no different.
> 
> I will say, we are about halfway through! And with that being said i maaaaay have started writing some chapters of a Kylo Ren/ Reader FBI agent AU ..... If anyone would read it please let me know and i'll post it. Idk if it sounds good or not but i have a lot of drama-smutty- fluffy ideas for it.  
> BUT not to worry there is WAY more to come with this story, including our least favorite character.  
> (For anyone wondering about my other story that is just sitting in my works unfinished, idk. I'm stuck on it so. who know's with that one.) 
> 
> As always please let know your thoughts! Love you guys.


	23. Not the best move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a week.

Rey, Kylo and yourself stood outside while Kylo packed his bags into his car to head to the airport.

“Who knew me coming would make my brother-in-law scatter so fast.” Rey joked.

“Aw, come on.” Kylo smiled. “You know it’s Ben I’m really running from.”

Rey laughed back at him, shaking her head before giving him a quick hug and making her way back into the house leaving you and Kylo alone.

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Kylo asked, shutting the trunk of his car, and walking towards you.

You nodded, stepping into his open arms and wrapping your own around his body. “I think with all my new bodyguards I should be okay.” You lightly joked.

Kylo chuckled before pulling back slightly to kiss you. “I love you. I’ll call you when I land.”

“I love you.” You told him, keeping your arms around him for just a second longer before finally letting go.

Kylo stood still for a second, watching you. “Hey. I promise I am going to get this taken care of.”

“I know.” You clenched your back teeth to keep from crying. “It’s not even Bazine or Cassian honestly. Seeing you leaving feels like the first time all over again.”

Kylo brought his hand to your chin, lifting your face to him so he could kiss you again. “One week. Just one more week. Less than actually and we can go back to being us before all this shit. I swear to it.”

“Okay.” You whispered and he give you a soft kiss before stepping around to his driver door.

Stepping back into the house you didn’t watch him drive away, just wanting to leave things as they were. Rey was waiting for you on the couch, smiling with a glass of wine. “So! What do you want to do first?”

“Well.” You took the wine glass from her. “We should get you set up in the bedroom, I figured that you and Ben could stay in there and I’ll sleep on the pull out.”

Rey pouted for a second. “Isn’t this pull out a king-sized, foam bed?”

You smiled to her. “Yes, it is.”

“Then no I will not be sleeping where you and Kylo have fucked, thank you very much.” She laughed and it made you laugh.

“So, tell me how is the rest of the family? How was your honeymoon? I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.” You asked, settling back onto the couch.

“It has been a while.” She agreed, sipping her wine. “Well. Han and Leia are great as always, worried about you though.”

You gave her a look. “I know.” She sighed. “But Ben must tell them everything, all the time. Don’t worry I think Kylo already spoke to them about everything, so you won’t have to repeat it again.”

Sipping your wine, you nodded. “I can’t say I’m surprised; they were going to find out everything eventually.”

“As far as our honeymoon it was amazing! We had so much fun, I have so many pictures to show you. When you guys go on yours you have to stop in Saint Martin! It was beautiful.” Rey smiled widely as she spoke, but you froze when she mentioned your own honeymoon and she must have caught on because she stopped as well. “Sorry.” Rey mumbled. “I know with everything going on you guys must not be thinking about anything like that right now.”

“No, it’s okay. I just-“ You stopped, adverting your eyes from her. “I don’t know if Kylo is even close to that point, we haven’t really been together in four months.”

“Stop that.” Rey set her glass down, causing you to look at her. “That man is crazy in love with you. I’ve seen it since I’ve met you. Both of you in that kitchen, eating breakfast half naked.”

You smiled at the memory of her and Ben showing up in Kylo’s kitchen. “That seems like a lifetime ago.”

“It does.” Rey agreed. “But, it wasn’t that long ago and I know that Kylo still feels the exact same way today as he did that morning.”

You smiled, turned your eyes back to the floor. “I do too.”

“Good.” Rey told you. “Now back to me.”

You laughed and nodded as Rey went on to tell you all about their traveling. You sat their talking until you decided it was time for bed. The next morning Rose and Finn were outside your house just as they said they would be, and Rose came to check on you three of four times during the day. It was the same blurred day as the last, as the last four months really. At the end of the day Poe drove you home, offering Paige a ride as well and when you walked into the house Rey was laying across the couch, pointing to pizza boxes on the counter.

“I made dinner.” She smiled to you.

You walked to them, grabbing a couple slices before joining her. “I’ve had so much take out recently I may turn into a takeout box.”

After a couple more slices of pizza and two movies you retired to your room, telling Rey you’d see her tomorrow. You had missed Rey, but with her staying in your house you felt the need to entertain her and it was tiring.

“Don’t forget Ben will be here too! Just so you don’t try to tackle my husband thinking it’s yours.” Rey giggled.

Rolling your eyes, you smiled at her. “I haven’t seen either of them that much lately but I’m sure I can still tell them apart.”

“You never know.” She joked.

You shook your head at her, making your way to your room. Once you stripped into your PJ’s and sunk into bed your phone rang. Seeing it was Kylo you accepted and sat up in bed.

“HI!” You exclaimed.

“Hi.” He replied. Something was wrong.

“What’s going on?” You questioned.

“Nothing.”

You wrinkled your nose at his shortness. “How’s the investigation?”

“They’re making progress.” Kylo told you flatly.

“Okay…” You said slowly, questioning why he was being so short. “Is there something wrong Kylo?”

“Is there anything right?” He asked you.

Although his statement was true, his tone sent a knife to your stomach. “Have I done something wrong?”

Kylo sighed, shaking his head. “No. I’m sorry. It’s just.” He trailed off. “I’m not supposed to talk about this investigation with you anymore, given your involvement.”

You stood from the bed. “What?”

“I want too. I didn’t make this call, but it has to be done.” He stated.

You paced the room, suddenly feeling helpless. “You’re gone 24 hours and already our promise of communication is out the window?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“But you can’t tell me anything?” You asked pointedly.

“Not by choice.” He replied, voice dropping.

You exhaled harshly through your nose. “This is insane.”

“Look. I know it’s not ideal but you have to-“

You cut off his sentence. “Trust you. I got it. I know.”

Kylo was silent again as he watched your face. “Please sit down.”

“What?” You bit at him.

“Sit. Down. You are going to burn a hole in our floor.” He demanded.

You stared back at him, lightly grunting as you turned to the bed and plopped down.

“Happy?” You asked him sarcastically.

“Very.” He said back.

Groaning you laid back on the bed after a minute you looked back to the phone. “Sorry.” You mumbled.

“Don’t apologize. This can’t be easy for you. I know how hard it is for me and the crazy bitch isn’t even after me.” He stated.

You couldn’t help but laugh at Kylo using the term ‘crazy bitch’. You laugh echoed through your bedroom, soon joined by his. Rolling on your side you watched his smile and how his eyes creased as he laughed. “Tell me this will be done soon.”

Kylo pressed his lips together in a tight line but nodded his head to you. “But that’s all I can say for now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You sighed. “Okay.” You told him, crawling into bed. “Tell me about your day so I can fall asleep.”

Kylo laughed again. “You’re so sweet to me.”

“Only for you babe.”

The next school day was the same as the last. Rose and Finn drove you to school, Rose checked on you, Poe and Paige stopped in twice to make sure you were okay. You smiled each time one of them stopped by, but you were slowly becoming over stimulated by the constant human interaction and were never more thankful that you could have your students work on their reading. At lunch you were finally alone for the first time that week for a short amount of time before Rose popped in.

So.” Rose said plopping down on the couch with her chip bag. “Hows the whole investigation going?”  
  
You chewed the inside of your cheek. “Well. Actually, Kylo’s not aloud to tell me anything because i’m apart of it.”  
  
Rose gave you a puzzled look before pity flashed over her face. You clenched your fist under the table. “I’m sorry.” She told you. “That must make it harder.”  
  
You nodded, biting into your sandwich and chewing slowly. “I just hope it’s quick and painless.”  
  
“I hope so too, for your sake.” Rose agreed. “Do you need a ride after school? I know Finn has play practice.”  
  
“I do too.” You told her.  
  
She looked slightly shocked. “With everything going on i didn’t think you’d want to go.”  
  
You set your food down, taking a drink before explaining. “I know, but I have to have some sense of normalcy going on. Sometimes this whole thing seems like I’m in some crazy dramatic made up story.”   
  
Rose nodded. “Like one of those TV shows on the CW?” She laughed.  
  
“Yeah, but maybe just with shittier writing.” You joked.  
  
“Okay. Well at least let Finn drive you home.” She stated, standing to leave.  
  
You agreed, if only to make Rose happy and finished your sandwich before your next after she left. Later in the afternoon you were in the auditorium, changing into dance shoes so you could help with the first dance practice.

“Hey.” Finn said, coming up behind you.

“Hey Finn.” You greeted him.

“Listen, I never got the chance to apologize for not being there the day Bazine attacked you.” He told you.

You stared at him, slightly shocked. “Finn. You let me kidnap your fiancé, you drive me to work every morning, and you’ve been nothing but kind while I’ve been a complete mess. I was lucky anyone was there, let alone everyone else. Please don’t apologize.”

Finn looked down half smiled. “That’s what rose told me too.”

“Because Rose is brilliant.” You laughed.

“She’s amazing.” His smile widened, reaching his eyes now.

You smiled wider too, seeing how happy they made each other. “She is.”

Finn sat there for a moment longer before clearing his throat and turning to the stage. “Okay guys!” Finn yelled, clapping his hands to get everyone’s attention. “This is a whole cast dance practice. For everyone who is new this year that means we will be learning the big dance numbers in the show. Our leads will be going with Ms. Y/L/N to practice their parts then at the end of practice we will run through everything with the leads!”

A couple of the kids looked worried, so you quickly stepped up next to Finn. “Don’t worry guys it’s the first practice so if you don’t get everything down right away it’s okay.”

Finn gave you a light shoulder push but smiled. “Okay! Let’s get started.”

The practice went quicker than you thought it would, and even though most of the kids did not have most of the steps down it was good to have practices start. Finn dropped you off at your house and walking in the smell of fresh bread hit you.

“Something smells amazing.” You stated walking into the kitchen. You stopped short at the tall 6’3 man standing there.

Turning to smile at you, Ben waved the spatula in his hand. “Hey!”

“Hi!” You forced a smile.

“Hey, looks who’s home! How was work?” Rey asked, coming to stand next to Ben.

“It was great, what are you guys cooking?”

“Spaghetti, and fresh garlic bread.” Ben told you, pointing to the oven.

“Amazing. I’m just going to go change and then I’ll be out.” You turned, walking into your bedroom, and shutting the door. Slowly you sat down on the bed. You really had to admit to yourself you were beyond grateful for Ben and Rey, looking at the face that cloned your boyfriends when he couldn’t be here was not helping your mental state. Slowly you slid out of your work clothes and into one of Kylo’s t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants laying on the bed. You sat back down, enjoying the quiet that came from being alone for a second when your phone rang from the other room. You made your way back, only to hear two identical voices yipping at each other.

“Just give her the phone.” Kylo sighed at Ben.

“We need to talk about it Kylo, it’s been months.” Ben told him.

“Talk about what?” You asked reentering the kitchen.

Rey shot up, grabbing the phone from Ben who looked a little shocked that you were somehow in your own kitchen. “Look here she is.” Rey said, handing you your phone.

“Love. Are they being nice to you?” Kylo jokingly asked once he saw you.

“Of course, they’re only ever not nice to you.” You laughed as you opened the back door, stepping onto the deck in hope that it gave you some privacy. “What do you guys need to talk about?”

“Oh, nothing. Ben’s just being Ben.” Kylo brushed off. “How are you? How’s it going?” You huffed slightly, looking into the space behind the deck. “Love.” Kylo urged you.

“I don’t want to sound like an awful person.” You said so low you weren’t sure he’d hear you.

“You could never sound like an awful person.” He encouraged you.

You looked back to him before continuing. “I love everyone, they’re been so amazing. It’s just even when I lived with my grandmother, I was never babied like this. I feel so useless. You can’t tell me anything going on. I can’t help the situation. I’m a sitting duck.”

Kylo was silent for a moment before he nodded. “I can understand. But I need you to trust I am keeping you safe.”

“I do.” You assured him.

He lowered his voice before he continued. “And that in two day’s I will be the only one allowed to baby you.”

Little butterflies returned to your stomach and you couldn’t stop the small smile that came across your face.

“There she is.” Kylo smiled to you and the butterflies grew.

“I miss you, I’m so excited you’ll be home.” You told him, standing to walk back inside.

“Me too, Love. More than you know. I’ll see you soon.” He said before hanging up.

Thursday afternoon you sat in your classroom waiting for your last class to come in when your phone rang from your purse, making you jump slightly. Picking it up you furrowed your brow at the Chicago area code, but then decided to answer, figuring it must be Kylo.

“Hey, are you calling me from the hotel?” You asked as you answered.

“Wrong boyfriend.” Cassian’s voice came from the other end.

“Cassian?” You questioned in disbelief. You brain skipped as you almost brought the phone down to hang up.

“Don’t end the call!” Cassian all but yelled into the phone.

Slowly you pressed it back to your ear, listening for a moment. “What do you want.”

“You need to let me explain myself.” Cassian stated.

“I think drugging my drink did plenty of explaining.” You hissed.

“Don’t you want to see the emails?” He asked. You could hear the smile on his face.

“No.” You stated, but your voice wavered.

“Yes, you do.” He laughed. “I know you. I know this is eating you up inside and I know you have questions.”

You stayed silent on the other end of the line, not knowing how to answer this.

“If you want to know, come to the sub shop by your house after you get off, and come alone. No one needs to know; I don’t want the cops showing up for me or something.” Cassian ended the call before you could respond.

You quickly made your way down the steps with your bags before you picked up your phone to text Poe you didn’t need a ride today. Half jogging down the block you waited until the school was far enough away to slow down to a light speed walk, wanting to put as much space between yourself and your friends as possible. It wasn’t until you were on the same block as the sub shop that you started to actually panic. Halting your steps you turned and stood between two building, taking deep breaths to calm your nerves. Could you really do this? Could you go against everything just to have a blimp of information on what was going on in the part of your life you couldn’t know about? Slowly you took your phone back out of your purse, realizing in a short time all the texts and calls you had, mostly from Rose. You went through you call list, finding Kylo’s number and praying he didn’t pick up. The world seemed to be on your side today as you got his voicemail.  
  
With a shaky voice you quickly decided what you were going to tell him. “It’s me. Cassian called me, he said he has information for me. I know this is probably a horrible, awful idea but what if it helps? What if this is the key to getting rid of Bazine?” You paused. “Or maybe this is how I get myself killed. I can’t know anything, so I have no idea.” You started to hang up before bringing the phone back up to your ear. “I love you Kylo.”  
  
Ending the call you stood back against the wall. After a moment you finally pushed yourself forward, finishing the walk to the shop. Right before you walked in your phone buzzed in your hand. _Kylo._ You stared at it for a moment but decided it was better to call him back later. Opening the door, you saw it was mostly empty except one other customer and the two employees. Silently you walked to a booth in the back and sat. Five minutes you waited, the longest five minutes of your life maybe. The sound of footsteps brought you out of your thoughts. Looking up there stood Cassian, and you immediately knew this was a mistake.  
  
“Hello.” He said, sliding into the booth across from you.  
  
“You have something for me?” You asked.  
  
“Right to business then.” He scoffed.  
  
You cocked a brow at him. “Well, you did try to drug me so.”  
  
Cassian looked annoyed at that comment “Here.” He slammed a stack of papers onto the table.  
  
“What is this?” You looked at the pile.  
  
“That is every email exchange between us, i guess not us, but whoever had your computer.” He told you calmly.  
  
You sat staring at the stack. “This has to be over 200 emails.”  
  
“Yeah. Just about.” He replied flatly.

Crossing your arms, you sat back. “Why.”

“Why?” Cassian questioned.

You gestured to the stack of papers. “Yeah, why are you giving me this.”

“Because you need to know.” He told you.

“Know what exactly?” You asked, confused.

Cassian sighed. “Just take them, read it. Then you’ll know.”

“You know I’m really tired of everyone being so fucking cryptic.” You replied dryly and Cassian didn’t comment back.

You stared and stared at the stack wanting to take it, but something was stopping you. Suddenly the bell on the shop door rang, startling you slightly. You looked back to Cassian who’s face had gone ghost white. Turning you wanted to see what had scared him so much. There stood a very pissed of Ben Solo.

“Let’s go.” Ben told you, standing with his back to Cassian. You looked down at the stack, wanting to grab it. “Don’t.” Ben told you, and you looked back to him. Slowly you stood, not sparing Cassian and other glance. Once you were outside Ben dragged you out by your arm as Rey yelled at him from behind you. You hadn’t even noticed her standing there, and if you didn’t know any better you would have thought he was Kylo from his anger, you’d never seen this side of Ben.

“Are you stupid?” Ben yelled, turning around to face you.

“Ben, stop.” Rey tried to calm him down.

“Everything my brother is doing for you. Everything your friends are doing. Is that useless to you?” Ben growled out.

“Ben.” Rey tried again.

“No! She’s ungrateful. ” Ben yelled at her, causing her to freeze. “That could have ruined everything. If a PI was following him and saw you meeting with him, that would be it and this nightmare would never be over.”

You stared at him but said nothing.

“Let’s go.” Ben said, pulling you forwards again.

You stood frozen for only a second before you snapped your arm back from him. “Do you know what’s it’s like to have no control over your own life? To be a rat caught in a trap waiting for someone to come get you out, knowing that you could die before that?!” You screamed at him.

Ben stood, staring at you for a long moment before exhaling through his nose. “Rats only get caught in traps when they get curious about the cheese.”

Your jaw dropped at his words. “Are you implying that this is all somehow my fault?”

Ben stared but said nothing. Everything was silent even on the busy street as you waited for him to confirm what he’d said, but instead he turned and stomped down the street. You felt like you were watching Kylo. Rey grabbed your hand, bringing you back to the present. “I am so sorry, he did not mean that. He was just scared for your safety.” She was pleading for you to understand with her eyes.

You looked back to where he was walking away, still visible. “Him and Kylo are more alike than I thought.” You told her.

Rey nodded softly, turning from you to watch Ben walk. You sighed, running your hand through your hair. “You should go after him.” You told her.

“What? No! I can’t just leave you.” She looked to you wide eyed.

“I’m a block from my house, and I will call if I need anything. I think everyone just needs a second to breathe.” You told her.

She stared at you before looking back to watch Ben, who was getting harder to see now. “We won’t be more than an hour.” She told you before running to get Ben.

You watched her slowly disappearing into the crowds behind him before you turned to walk home. On your walk one thing crossed your mind, Rose. You shot her a text to let her know you were okay and were sorry for scaring her but you needed some alone time and we’re overwhelmed. She replied she understood and she’d see you in the morning. You were feeling slightly better at that before a name popped on your phone you hadn’t thought about. Kylo.

You hit accept with shaky hands, bringing the phone to your face. “Hello.” You said, but it came out as a whisper.

“Did he put his fucking hands on you?” Kylo growled.

“What?!” You were shocked he wasn’t screaming at you like Ben.

“Did Ben put his fucking hands on you.” He asked again.

“No. I mean yes, but it was my fault Kylo.” You tried to explain.

“I’ll kill him.” He stated.

“No, Kylo. Please stop.” You begged him, walking into the house, and locking it behind you.

He was breathing so heavy into the phone you thought he might blow out your speaker. “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t.” You admitted to him. “I was just tried of sitting around, not doing anything. Not knowing anything.”

Kylo sighed. “Baby. I told you, you can’t know anything yet because you’re apart of it.”

“And that sucks Kylo.” You told him.

“I know.” He said softly. “I know this is hard, it’s been hard but it’s almost over.”

“When.” You asked, trying not to cry again.

“I don’t know baby, but I’ll see you in tomorrow.” He reminded you, trying to lighten your mood.

It only helped a little. Sighing, you shook your head at no one. “I know.” You paused, seeing if there was anything else he wanted to say. “Listen, I need to clean and get a shower so I will call you later okay?”

“Okay.” Kylo agreed before hanging up.

You quickly did the dishes, sweeping and mopping the floors and dusting the tables while you ran laundry. An hour later you finally stood under the spray of the shower, letting the water jets work themselves on your back and neck. You stood under the water, taking your time with your hair and body not wanting to end the last task that could keep your mind busy. It had to have been an hour when the water finally got to cold for you stand and you stepped out to wrap a towel around yourself. You stared at your reflection in the mirror. The stress of the last couple of months had clearly aged you. The circles under your eyes were darker and your skin slightly paling. After brushing your teeth, you heard the front door open, you were about to yell to Ben and Rey when you heard it. Heals clicking.

You heard her voice before you saw her. Chatting on the phone. Silently you slipped back into the shower, closing the curtain as you sank against the wall.  
  
“No.” Bazine’s voice got closer. “I head back tonight. Kylo was out of town for meetings and asked me to stay in Chicago while he was gone.”  
  
A voice on the other end of her phone spoke, but you couldn’t hear who it was.  
  
“Well. I’m the only one he trusts, and after this perfect little princess is gone there will be nothing standing between us.” You could hear the smile in her voice as she walked through your room and stopped at the open bathroom door.  
  
She paused, and you held your breath. How was she here? Did she know you were here? And then it hit you. Both cars were gone. She thought you were gone.  
After a moment, you heard her turn and walk out of the bedroom. You listened as she rummaged through something in the kitchen before leaving. Once the door slammed shut you shot from the shower. Grabbing your phone.  
  
It only rang twice. “That was a really fast call bac-”  
  
“Kylo. She was here. She was in the house. She didn’t know I was hiding in the shower, but she was here.” You were talking so fast you made your own head spin.  
  
“Rey is on her way back to the house. Pack your suitcase.” Kylo told you flatly.

“What?” You questioned, still in shock.  
  
Kylo paused, his next words weighing heavy in the air. “You need to get on the next flight to Chicago. The investigator found _everything_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize GREATLY because if you read my notes under the new fic i said i would post two chapters this week because this chapter is only half of what i wrote, but then as always life said HAHAHA NO.  
> So please forgive me, once i edit the second half it will be up. 
> 
> Also, yes the FBI AU is up and going. 
> 
> I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH I KNOW THAT IS SO CHEESE BALLZ TO SAY BUT SERIOUSLY YOUR COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND LOVE GIVE ME SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARDS TOO. Life has not been great lately (For anyone really) i've been going through it so your love is amazing to my cold heart <3
> 
> Some of you are saying this is your favorite fic or one of your favorites and that makes me smile and SCARED i hope i don't ruin it.
> 
> as always tell me what you think! and i'll see you so soon !!!


	24. A board room full of fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go to Chicago and face Bazine with a little help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS FOR ALL MY BAZINE HATING LOVES. 
> 
> Trigger warning: Giving a bitch what she deserves AKA Fighting****

The sound of pounding on the door brought you back. It was only then you realized Kylo was practically screaming your name through the phone. “I’m here. I’m here.” You told him. 

He sighed. “You weren’t answering me for the last 3 minutes.”

“I think I’m having a minor panic attack.” You told him, walking from your bedroom towards the front door. You opened it, but instead of Rey standing there it was Ben. 

“Jesus Christ. Rey can you help her?” Ben cursed slightly under his breath. 

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asked on the phone, apparently loud enough for Ben to hear. 

Rey came out from her spot behind Ben as they came into the house. He took your phone from you as Rey ushered you back into the bedroom. 

“Hello?” You heard Kylo say. 

“Yeah, it’s me. Nothing’s wrong except your girlfriend answering the door in her towel.” Ben told him. 

“You. I have a fucking bone to pick with you too.” Kylo yelled at him. 

Rey pushed you into the bedroom and shut the door behind you, leaving the guys to fight on the phone. “Are you okay?” Rey asked, walking to your closet, and pulling your overnight bag out. 

Shaking your head, you finally snapped out of it and made your way to the dresser to change. “I think I’m a little in shock. Do you know what they found? Do you know what’s going to happen?” 

“Throw me some clothes, enough for two or three days.” Rey told you throwing your bag on the bed. “Kylo said that the PI found what the needed. I guess Bazine slipped up.”

“Do I need just casual clothes or am I going to court?” You slipped a t-shirt over your head after clipping on a bra. “What do you mean she slipped up?” 

Rey threw in some toiletries into the bag for you. “No, I don’t think you need anything fancy just some jeans, t-shirts, maybe one nice shirt and some stuff to sleep in. Also, I have no idea but she never knew Kylo was back earlier this week. They’ve been sending her all over to get papers signed from different schools.”

You jumped into a pair of jeans, turning to throw an extra pair at Rey and grabbing random t-shirts for her to put in as well. “She was here Rey. She came into our place while I hid on the shower.” 

“Holy shit.” She paused to look at you. 

You stared back at her for a moment before both of you continued to your previous tasks. You put on your shoes as Rey threw some panties into your bag from your clean laundry. “God. I should have beat her ass when I had the chance. In my own house? Who does she think she is?!” You growled out then turned back to Rey. “Throw me that sweatshirt, please.”

Rey tossed the sweatshirt over to you and you slipped it on, opening the bedroom door again as Rey zipped up your bag. “Well, you were at a disadvantage.” Rey jokes, pointing to your towel on the floor. 

“I could take her naked.” You told her. 

“That’s a show I’d pay to see.” Rey laughed as you both made your way to the livingroom. 

“How are you two laughing?” Ben asked, handing you back your phone. 

“Copping mechanism.” You shrugged. “What’s the plan?” 

“We’re going to Chicago. Right now. The flight leaves in 2 hours.” Ben told you both, grabbing his and Rey’s bags. 

“And when we get there?” 

Ben shook his head slightly. “Sorry, all I know is a car will pick us up and bring us to the hotel.” 

“Okay.” You agreed. “Let’s go.”

The waiting at the airport was just as awkward between Ben and yourself as the flight that followed. You’d barley spoken since you left the house, and Rey made sure to stay between the two of you the whole time. Deep down you knew that you should talk to Ben about what happened, but you were hurt by what he had said. It was a side of Ben you had yet to see until now, and although it was shocking coming from him you had to admit the family genes were strong. Pushing Ben to the back of your brain only caused Bazine to move forward, and pushing her back only caused Kylo to pop in. Something inside your head wouldn’t turn off as you silently sat in the back of the town car Kylo had sent for the three of you. You loved Kylo, you did trust him but what if something came out that you didn’t want to know? Something that officially ended everything you’d fought so hard to keep.

“Excuse me?” Rey asked the driver who had stopped on the side of the street. “The hotel is still up two blocks. 

“Sorry miss. I was told to drop you off here.” The driver told her. 

“By who?” Ben asked. 

As if on cue the door next to you flew open, and before you had time to react you were pulled out and into Kylo’s chest. Your brain short circuited for a moment before you realized it was him. 

“Hi.” You squeaked out, trying to crane your neck to see his face. 

“Hi.” He breathed, coming down to kiss you hard. 

“Hey we’re still here.” Ben said, grabbing your bags from the trunk. 

“Douche, I still need to beat your ass.” Kylo said to him.

“Do it then.” Ben puffed his chest slightly.

“Boys.” Rey rolled her eyes at them.

Kylo turned to her then. “Hi Rey, thank you. It’s good to see you.”

“Hi Kylo.” Rey laughed, handing him your bag from where Ben set it down. 

“Mind telling us why we’re so far away from the hotel?” Ben asked. 

Kylo slung your bag over his shoulder and tucked you into his side, using his free hand not around you to grab his phone from his pocket. “I have security in the lobby making sure Bazine doesn’t see her walk in.” 

“Mom and dad’s team?” Ben asked 

Kylo gave him a slight nod before checking his phone. “We can go.” Kylo lead the three of you down the block and into the lobby. By passing the clerk he got into an open elevator and pressed for one of the top floors. “Here.” He said, finishing a key card out of his back pocket and handing it to Rey. 

“Thanks.” She gave him a smile. 

“Yeah thanks.” Ben added. 

“That’s Rey’s room. If she chooses to have a guest that’s on her. You can sleep in the back ally for all I care.” Kylo snipped at him. 

“Kylo.” You whispered a warning to him that this wasn’t the time. 

He looked back to you. Sighing before pulling you into his again. Once you guys reached the floor Kylo pointed down the hallway. “Your rooms that way.” 

“Bye guys.” You barley got out as Kylo pushed you down another hallway. He walked past several doors until he reached the end of the hallway and he slide his key into the last door. When he opened it, you stepped inside slowly and Kylo stepped in behind you. As soon as the door shut, your back was on the wall next to it and Kylo’s mouth was on yours. You moaned into him, and he took the invitation of your parted lips. His tongue slammed into your mouth, over taking your own. 

“Kylo.” You managed to get out after a moment. Kylo pulled back to look at you. You didn’t realize tears had fallen from your eyes until he brushed them off your face. 

Hushing you, Kylo stroked your hair. “It’s okay. It’s all okay, I’m here.” He walked you over to the bed and pulled back the covers while you stripped off your pants and unhooked your bra under your shirt to slide it off. Sliding into the bed Kylo pulled you into him. 

“Now what happens?” You asked him, hoping he knew you meant tomorrow and not in bed.

He stiffened slightly. “We have a meeting in the morning.” 

You nodded, feeling exhausted as you seemed to feel most nights. Slowly you drifted off to Kylo playing with your hair and you finally had hope that all of this would be over soon. 

Kylo huffed next to you before slipping out of the bed. Slowly you opened your eyes only to realize there was knocking at the door. You held your breath as Kylo made his way over to the door. He looked through the peep hole before unlocking in.

“You’re not going to believe this.” Ben laughed walking into the room. 

“Now what?” Kylo gumbled, shutting the door behind Rey. 

“Bazine made a move on Ben in the lobby this morning.” Rey told you both. 

“What?” You and Kylo yelled at the same time. 

“Listen. Listen.” Ben said, waving his hands. “So, I went down the lobby to get coffee for Rey and Myself and Bazine was there. Well she said Good morning, calling me Mr. Ren, so I just said good morning. As I was standing there stirring in cream, she reached around me to grab her own creamers and when her hand came back around, she slid it across my chest. Then she winked at me and said, ‘I’ll see you in our meeting.’” Ben laughed at the end, but you could only stare at Kylo as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“She’s ballsy.” Rey commented. 

“So it seems.” Kylo agreed, checking the time. “We have about an hour; we should get ready.” 

“We’ll see you there.” Ben told him, as they left. 

“Well. Just one more thing to add to the list.” Kylo sighed, grabbing his clothes. 

“There’s a list?” You asked. 

Kylo nodded, stepping into his pants. “A long one.” After you were dressed Kylo walked you both to a hallway filled with board rooms. He led you into an empty one and shut the door. “They’ll be in for me in a second, then someone will come to get you. Rey and Ben will come in last. The PI may ask you some questions but this is mostly about Bazine so she’ll get the grilling.” You nodded, listening intently to him. “You’re going to hear a lot of things you might not want too.”

“What do you think she’ll say?” You whispered to him, suddenly not able to find your voice.

“She’s going to lie. She’ll probably say we had something going on, her and I. Maybe she’ll say I gave her the things she stole before she knows that we know she made herself a key, or she’ll admit to wanting to hurt you.” Kylo clenched his fist at the last sentence.

With your own shaking hands, you grabbed his fist. “It’s okay.” You nodded. “After this it’s done, and we’ll never have to see her again.”

Kylo relaxed slightly and agreed. Just then a lady came to get him, and he gave you a quick kiss before disappearing down the hall. Minutes felt like hours as you waited, but finally someone different came to get you. A tall man, brown straight hair that was gelled back. “Mrs. Ren?” He asked. You swallowed hard at the name but nodded anyways. “Follow me.” He said.

You walked with him further down the hallway to another board room with the door shut. When you walked into the board room you froze slightly. On one side of the table sat Kylo with 4 other people. On the other sat Bazine, looking surprised to see you. Around the room stood several men, and the PI was in the corner watching. Kylo nodded to a chair on the other side of him. You sat, not being able to bring yourself to look at him but feeling his eyes on you.  
  
“Now that everyone is here we can begin.” His voice rang through the room. “Ms. Netal, do you know who this is?” He asked her, gesturing to the lady standing in the corner.  
  
“No.” Bazine stated, looking like a deer caught in headlights at the fact Kylo was speaking directly to her.  
  
“This is Cara. She’s a private investor. After I was informed about your actions, I took it upon myself for the board to hire her and given your father’s reputation I didn’t want to make assumptions on here say.” Kylo stated flatly, keeping his tone professional. “This.” Kylo gestured to two men sitting at the end of the table. “This is Mr. Maul, and Mr. Grievous. Mr. Maul here is a lawyer for the board, and Mr. Grievous is mine and Ms. Y/L/N’s personal lawyer.”

You looked over to both, but they just stared down Bazine. “And last by not least this is officer Kenobi, not only the head of the police department but a great friend of my grandfathers.”

Bazine look scared, and you couldn’t help but feel happiness at that fact. “Now. It’s come to my attention that you attacked Ms. Y/L/N on Monday in her classroom, correct?” Mr. Grievous asked her, looking at a report in front of him.  
  
Bazine shifted slightly in her chair but kept her composer. “No.”  
  
“No?” Mr. Maul questioned. “Then why do I have several witnesses to this action?”

Bazine shrugged. “Because her and her friends are liars.”

She smirked slightly at you, and you wanted nothing more than to slap it right off her face. “Ms. Tico.” Kylo’s voice echoed slightly through the room, and you looked around confused. “Can you account for the actions of Bazine on Monday?”  
  
“Yes, I can.” Rose’s voice rang through a speaker at the middle of the table as she recalled everything that had happened monday afternoon.

“Mr. Dameron?” Kylo asked.

“Yes.” Poe confirmed.

“Paige?”

“Yup.” Paige clicked her tongue.

“That’s clearly a lie.” Bazine stated cooly.  
  
“Is it?” Mr. Grievous asked. “Is it also a lie that on the dated that Mr. Ren set you to his home to collect a list of items, the same day Ms. Y/N found several other items missing?”  
  
“I don’t know what you people are talking about.” Bazine told him, keeping her poker face.   
  
You gut reaction was to run out of this room, get as far away from them as you could. She was to good of a liar, and you had no idea what evidence they could even have on her at this point.  
  
“I thought you might say that.” Mr. Maul sighed. “Unfortunately for you Cara has been watching you this week. After you gained knowledge that Kylo and the board would be meeting with you today you took a bag to the dumpster out the hotel, correct?” He asked, sitting back in his chair.  
  
“So I’m in trouble for taking out trash now?” Bazine replied in a snarky voice.  
  
“Yes.” Mr. Grievous told her. “Since it would seem the items in that bag belong to Mr. Ren and Ms. Y/N.”  
  
“Two sweatshirts of mine, a bracelet I had told you to give her, her grandmothers necklace, her laptop, the pieces of a yellow vase that was in our home.” As Kylo listed the things they’d found Cara placed each item on the table in front of everyone. Kylo paused slightly, shifting before he continued. “And the box containing my mother’s engagement ring you knew I was going to propose to her with the last time you were in my house, which was last night.”  
  
Your eyes snapped to Kylo at the mention of the engagement ring. He was staring holes into you, his face stone. But when your eyes met his they seemed to soften slightly. As stressful and exhausting as this moment was you felt a renewed energy. Kylo wanted to propose to you. Kylo had the ring he was going to use to propose to you with. You weren’t sure how long you stared at each other but a light knock at the door got everyone’s attention.

“Ah, please come in.” Kylo told Ben and Rey. The look on Bazine’s face in this moment was unmatched. You could have fell to the floor laughing as her skin turned bright red, then white in half a second. “Bazine, this is my twin brother Ben.”

“Also known as the man you tried to grope this morning.” Ben stated.

“What?!” Rose’s voice came back through the speaker, reminding you she was listening and also she had made no shocking noise at the mention of the ring.

“I don’t-“ Bazine tried to say but Rey put her hand up.

“Save it.” Rey spoke harshly.  
  
“Now Bazine, It is believed that your intention was to make Y/N believe you and I were sleeping together in an attempt to have her, how did you say it ‘let it go.’ ?” Kylo quoted her.  
  
“That was it.” Rose said through the phone and you couldn’t help but smile at your friend.  
  
Bazine said nothing as she crossed her arms and sat back in her chair. “You’re going to act like we didn’t?” She looked to him.  
  
“Bazine.” The older woman at the table spoke for the first time. “Mr. Ren’s room is next to mine. Not to mention he and I were together almost all hours a day for the last 30 days and he was in contact with her at nights when we weren’t working late.” The woman gestured to you at her statement of your nightly phone calls. “Anytime you were with him, I was with him. So yes. We are aware you did not sleep together.”

“That proves nothing.” Bazine sneared at her.

“The security footage from the hallway never shows you there at the same time do.” Cara told her.

“Just to add insult to injury.” Mr. Maul stated, sliding a stack of papers across the table to Bazine. “There is a list of emails send from Ms. Y/N’s computer on the dates in which it was in your possession. Emails with a man who later attacked her and judging by the context your emails were the reason she was attacked.”

Bazine said nothing as she stared at Kylo then you. “Now.” Mr. Greivous said. “All of this, with the evidence present is enough for jail time. Is that correct Officer Kenobi?”

“I’d say.” Kenobi agreed.  
  
You felt a weight come off your chest they spoke, you could cry from the relief. Kylo looked to finally relax as you did, but it was short lived as Bazine jumped from her chair. “HE LOVES ME NOT HER.” She screamed.  
  
“Bazine. Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be.” Officer Kenobi told her.

She stared you down, like you were prey. “You’re not even going to make a noise?”

You stared back at her, slowly standing to match her stance from across the table. “Good try.”

In slow motion she lunged towards you, crawling over the table like a rabbit animal. She grabbed you, wrapping her hands around your neck as she jumped off the table, pushing you backwards. Before anyone could react, you brought your arm back then snapped it forward fast, slamming your fist into Bazine’s face hard. There was a loud pop in the air. Next you felt your own knuckles shift under your skin. Your back hit the floor and knocked your breath from your lungs, as Bazine rolled off of you grabbing at her face and crying in pain. Kylo yanked you from the floor and you sucked down air, trying to right the pain that radiated from your back to your chest.

Baizne’s screams were a blur as the PI and one of the security guards grabbed her off the floor. She was still grabbing her face as they dragged her out. Pain radiated through your hand, and you grasped it close to your chest. “Fuck.”

“Fuck is right. I think you broke her jaw.” Ben told you.

Kylo pressed his lips into a thin line. “I think you broke your hand.”

“I should have done that weeks ago.” You said through gritted teeth. 

“Damn straight.” Rey agreed. "What happens to her now?" 

"Kenobi books her in." Kylo told Rey.

“That was self-defense.” Kenobi said pointing to your hand before turning to the other men. “Mr. Grievous.”

“Officer Kenobi.” He nodded curtly.

“Mr. Maul.”

“Kenobi.” Maul said flatly before they all turned to leave.

“What was that about?” Rey asked.

“They don’t like each other.” Ben told her.

“Come on.” Kylo said, gently reaching for your hand. “I need to see if its broken.” You hesitated but finally let him see, wincing as he turned it over even as soft as he was being. “We need to go get an x-ray.” 

“We’ll come.” Rey said, opening the door for Kylo to take you out. 

Kylo picked you up like you were a baby, and despite the pain you laughed. “Ky. It’s just my hand.” 

“I know that.” He smiled to you. “But any excuse for me to take care of you i’m going to milk.”

“You take care of me a lot.” You told him, resting your head on his chest. 

“It’s my favorite hobby.” Kylo joked.

“It’s going to need a cast.” The doctor told you, staring at the x-ray of your broken right hand. “I’ll send someone in to that and get you a prescription so you can be on your way.” Kylo thanked the doctor as she left and closed the door behind her. 

“Oh amazing.” You half laughed. “That’s going to make grading papers fun.” 

“I’ll help you.” Kylo told you softly, stroking your hair. 

“Are you still coming home?” You asked him. 

“I start as principal next Monday. I’ll leave with you tomorrow night.” He smiled to you. 

You furrowed your brows in confusion. “Tomorrow night? We’re not leaving with Rey and Ben tonight?” 

“Nope.” He shook his head. “I have a surprise tomorrow.” 

You smiled at him. “Well i hope it doesn’t require both of my hands.”

Kylo bent down putting one hand on your face and pressing his lips next to your ear. “For you, no hands are required.” 

You smiled but relaxed into his hand as the heat flushed over your cheeks. You knew in the back of your mind you and Kylo had a lot to talk about, but tomorrow you could enjoy a day without stress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was as good as you wanted it to be, i was nervous as always, but for this one? BOY hahaha. I really hope it's good.  
> but uh... don't think she's gone forever :)
> 
> I know last week i said double chapters and then didn't so this week i will deliver on that promise!  
> NEXT TIME: Fluffy, Smutty and more drama :) 
> 
> If this was play or something i'd call this chapter the end of act one i think. 
> 
> Again i hope that this is as great as you want it, and as always you can comment here or message me on tumblr, tiktok and twitter all of them under Strawberriedalive (look for the trashcan) with your thoughts ! (Yeah the twitters new). I love hearing from you guys.
> 
> I love you all and i can not wait to read your reactions to this !!!!!


	25. Just for today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy and smutty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the incredible love you've shown me. Here's some cute Y/N and Kylo time before we dive right back into the ups and down with these two.

You woke up to a dull pain in your hand that only grew the more conscious you became. Groaning you fully opened your eyes, blinking as you remembered where you were. Kylo’s hotel room. Looking next to you, you saw the bed was empty but warm. Meaning he couldn’t have gotten that far. That fact was only confirmed when he stepped out of the bathroom, pausing when he saw you were awake.  
  
“Morning beautiful.” He smiled, crawling back into the bed with you.  
  
“Morning.” You said to him.   
  
Kylo furrowed his brow. “Your hand is hurting.” It wasn’t really a question but you nodded and Kylo reached over to his side table. “Sit up.” He told you, handing you a glass of water and a pill when you did. “That should help. I have food on the way too.”  
  
“Breakfast in bed? How did I get so lucky?” You smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek as you both laid back down.  
  
He smiled back to you, bringing you close to him. “I told you I’m fully of surprises. We are going to be a normal couple, on a normal date. Even if it's just for today.”

A few moments later there was a knock at the door. Kylo got up to answer it, letting a gentleman with a cart full of food in. The man left the cart by the small table, and Kylo handed him a little more than a tip as he left. Smiling, you crawled to the end of the bed to look what he had order, and your mouth dropped at the sight. Coffee, and juices caught your eye first followed by a buffet of breakfast foods. You couldn’t think of one breakfast food that wasn’t on the double shelved chart. You looked at Kylo in slight shock. “Why?”

Kylo shrugged but grabbed two plates, some forks and knives from the bottom shelf of the cart. “Coffee?”

“Yes please.” You smiled, taking a plate from him and beginning to pile on your food before settling back against the headboard.

Once Kylo handed you your mug of coffee, made the way you loved, he handed you the remote. “We don’t have anywhere to go until 2, and it’s only 10 so you can pick a movie if you want.”

“Any movie I want?” You grinned.

“I’m going to regret saying that.” He chuckled.

You smiled wider, immediately finding the rom-coms. “Yes, you are.”

After making Kylo to watch 50 first dates and Definitely maybe he forced the two of you out of bed and into the shower. After spending a little more time in there than necessary Kylo left the bathroom and you got ready for wherever Kylo was taking you. When you finally emerged back into the bedroom he was standing in his t-shirt and black skinny jeans, packing both of your suitcases.

“Are we moving hotels?” You asked, bouncing on the bed next to the luggage.

It bounced with you and Kylo put his hands on both to stop them from falling off. He shot you an slightly annoyed look before answering. “You could say that.”

You huffed at him, crossing your arms. “You really won’t tell me anything?”

He laughed lightly at you but shook his head no, as he grabbed the bags off the bed. “Come on, lets get this date started.”

Walking down to the lobby Kylo took your bags over to a man standing by the door and spoke to him before giving him a tip and heading back to get you. “Ready?” He smiled.

“I guess I have to be huh?” You joked. He led you out to a town car and opened your door. You slid in with him behind you. In the car Kylo pulled you against his side, and for the first time you could feel his heart racing. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He nodded.

The car stopped a few blocks from the hotel and Kylo got out, offering his hand to you. When you stepped out you saw a bakery in front of you. Giving Kylo a questioning look he just smiled, gesturing for you to follow him. He opened the door and as you walked in the most wonderful smells filled your nose and you smiled. “Find us a seat.” Kylo told you. You walked over to a table near the front of the shop and waited for him. A few moments later he returned with a plate of baked goods and some coffee’s and water. “Dessert first.”

“This looks amazing.” You told him, eyeing the single serving cake and different types of cookies he had brought over.

“Try this first.” He pointed to the cake, handing you a fork. “I came here once a week, and once I tried this I knew it would be your new favorite thing.”

You took the fork, trying your best not to let a big, dumb smile consume your face at the thought of Kylo thinking of you over something as small as dessert. You took a piece of the cake with your fork and slid it into your mouth. Kylo watched with anticipation for your reaction. As soon as the sweetness hit your tongue your brain exploded. “Wow.” Was all you could get out, almost closing your eyes at how amazing it tasted. “You were right.”

Kylo smiled wide at that comment. “I knew it.”

“Now we’re going to have to come to Chicago all the time to get this.” You winked at him.

Kylo nodded, slipping his own fork into the cake. “Worth the trip to see the look on your face right now.”

Once the two of you were done, Kylo ushered you back into the car again. This drive was longer but was starting to look familiar. You watched out the window before turning back to Kylo. “The airport?” You questioned.

Kylo nodded slightly, but you could tell he was keeping his emotions under wraps. The car went passed the gates, and through a private back lot. Pulling up next to a smaller plane. You watched in awe as Kylo got out and helped you again. “What is this?” You questioned, more confused then ever.

“This is ‘The falcon’.” Kylo told you, only to see even more confusion wash over you. “It’s mom and dad’s private jet. They’re letting us take it home.”

“Home?” You questioned but smiled.

“Home.” Kylo replied. Kylo was really coming home.

The driver took care of your bags as you followed Kylo up the stairs and onto the plane. You greeted the two pilots and nodded to two servers that stood in the flight attendants’ area. “Do you guys always have two flight attendants?”

“No.” Kylo shook his head, showing you to two seats facing each across the table. “Tonight’s just special.” He took his seat across from you just as one of the servers came up.

“Good evening Mr and Mrs. Ren.” He nodded to the two of you. “Once we are in the air we will have your meals out to you, starting with your appetizers. Until then can I offer you some wine?"

“Yes, thank you.” Kylo told him. The server nodded to him again, then turned to go back to where he came from.

“Are we having dinner on a private jet right now?” You were in shock.

“We are.” Kylo smiled to you.

“How are we having dinner on a private jet right now?” You asked. The server came back, handing you both a glass of wine before leaving again.

Kylo sipped his and sat back in his chair. “Sometimes I think you forget I’m a trust fund kid.”

You nodded, sipping your own glass. “I do. Because you don’t act like one.”

“You know.” Kylo paused, gaging your mood before continuing. “You actually have quiet a bit of money yourself now.”

You sipped your wine glass again. “I do.”

“Have you thought about what you are going to do with that money?” He questioned, slowly. As if you would suddenly jump out of the plane at the thought of how much cash sat untouched in your bank account for months now.

“I’ve used some of it you know?” You told him, avoiding his eyes.

“Have you?” He sounded so serious.

You looked back to him. “No.”

Kylo laughed. “That’s what I thought.”

“It’s a lot of money.” You told him, as if he didn’t know that.

“Okay, but it is your money.”

“I know.” You mumbled.

“Do you?” Kylo asked.

You stared at him for a second before letting out a long sigh. “What would I even do with it?”

Kylo shugged. “Whatever you want. Maybe it’s time for a new-“

You cut him off. “Don’t you dare say-“

“Car.” He finished his thought anyways.

“I can’t!” You said, a little to loud.

“Why?” Kylo raised an eyebrow. You were about to answer when the server came with your appetizer. _Fried cheese sticks_.

“We’re taking off now.” The server said.

“Thank you.” Kylo answered, and you shoved a cheese stick in your mouth to avoid Kylo’s eyes when you were alone again. “So?” He pushed.

You shrugged. “You know how I feel about my car.”

Kylo nodded, taking his own cheese stick. “And I am not saying you need to get rid of it. But maybe buying a second car that works is a good idea.”

You hummed in response but slowly thought it over. “We could move.” You told him.

Kylo nearly choked, halfway through the fried cheese. “Move?”

“Yes move. Into somewhere a bit bigger.” You shrugged. “Somewhere that we can build together.”

Kylo stared at you for too long before a small smile came over his face. “You want to build a house together?”

“I guess.” You smiled back to him. “But maybe we should table that for right now.”

The plane slow rocked as it started its climb into the sky, and Kylo nodded in agreement. Once the plane had reached it’s peak and leveled the serve came out. “Your main course will be right out.”

“What is it?” You asked Kylo.

“So nosey.” He teased.

The server brought back two covered dishes, and when he lifted them up your eyes went wide. Your favorite dish sat before you, with several other smaller dishes of potatoes and smoked vegetables. “Enjoy.” He said before leaving.

“I’m so hungry I’m going to eat through the plate I think.” You laughed.

“Dig in.” Kylo said and you did. After a few moments of silence Kylo started up again. “So, I think there are other things we need to talk about.” You stopped half chew. This was it, you hadn’t brought up the meeting to him since it happened and you didn’t expect him to today either. “Ben.”

“Ben?” You questioned, that had not what you’d been expecting him to bring up.

“My brother.” Kylo clarified.

“Yeah, no. I know who Ben is obviously. Why Ben?” You asked, confusion evident in your voice. 

“He put his hands on you.” Kylo tightened his jaw.

“I mean, yes but it was my own fault.” You stated.

Kylo furrowed his bow at you. “Are you victim blaming yourself?”

“What? No? Kylo look.” You sighed. “Yes. Ben should not have grabbed me like that, it wasn’t okay. But I think he was just worried and upset. For not just me, but you too.” You tried to calm Kylo’s anger towards him, but it was obviously not working.

“I don’t care if he had all the right intentions. He hurt you.” Kylo’s jaw was fully clenched now.

You rested your hand on his arm to try to lighten the mood slightly again. “You’re right.”

“I know.” He stated flatly. Clearly the mood was not going to lighten.

“So, he should apologize to me.” You said, more suggested, to him.

Kylo worked his jaw a few times. “I agree.”

“But after he does, and he means it, we’re putting it behind us.” You stated. Kylo narrowed his eyes at you slightly. “He’s your bother Kylo. What he did and said was wrong, but he loves us both and it was very out of character for Ben.” Kylo opened his mouth but you put up your hand. “It’s between Ben and I and I think that if I choose to forgive him, you should too.”

Kylo looked away from you and out the window. You held your breath as you waited for him to work past whatever emotion he had now, not wanting the night to be ruined. But he slid his hand to yours that was on his arm. “Okay.” He stated, looking back to you.

“Okay.” You smiled for a second before your face fell again. “What about Cassian?”

“What about him?”

You crossed your legs, sitting back slightly. “What are we going to do about him?”

Kylo’s eye twitched slightly. “If the cops find him, which they’ve been looking, then we’ll press charges against him. If I find him first we’ll be hiding a body.”

“Kylo.” You gasped lightly.

“I’m serious, I’ll kill that fucker.” Kylo’s fist balled on the table.

“Okay. Okay.” You soothed him, bringing your hand over his fist for him to hold. The two of you continued to eat in silence before you couldn’t take it anymore. “Are we going to talk about the ring?”

He stopped moving, the fork halfway to his mouth before he finished his bite and set it down. “I was wondering how long you’d last before this got brought up.”

“Well.” You chewed on your bottom lip, trying to read him this time. “Don’t you think it’s something we need to talk about?”

Kylo looked at you for a long, drawn out moment before he lowered his voice. “Do you want to marry me?”

You stared at him, wondering if he was technically proposing right now. “Yes.” You nodded.

“And I want to marry you. It was going to happen eventually.” He shrugged

You waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. “Okay?” You said as a question.

“Okay.” He repeated. “It just has to wait now that the surprise was ruined.” He stated before continuing to eat.

“You’re waiting because you want me to be surprised?” You raised a brow at him.

Kylo grinned, slowly chewing his steak before replying. “Yes.”

“Well that’s not going to work.” You joked.

He gave you a questioning but amused look. “Why not?”

“Because whenever you do something nice now, I’m going to think it’s a proposal.” You laughed lightly.

“So, what you’re telling me.” Kylo pointed his fork at you. “Is that I now need to do more romantic things to keep you on your toes?”

“Exactly.” You agreed, smiling wildly. “Or it will wear me down so much I’ll never expect it.”

Kylo laughed back to you. “Okay, that seems like something I can do.”

“Can’t wait.” You smiled, returning to your food again.

“Are you excited to go back to work on the musical?”

You clicked your tongue. “It seems silly, with everything that’s gone on. But yeah I am. I think it will be nice to go back to normal for a while.” Kylo nodded, but said nothing in reply “Are you excited to start as principle Monday?” You asked him, loving that you can hold a normal conversation face to face again.

“I am.” He nodded.

“I’m excited for you.” You told him. Then a thought popped into your head and out of your mouth before you stop it. “Do you know how Snoke took the news?”

Kylo pressed his lips into a flat line, his mood shifting again. “Not well I’ve heard.”

There goes normal conversation. “Oh?”

He shifted in his chair. “The director went to him herself and told him that the board was giving him the option to retire or be fired as it was time to replace him. He told her where she could shove it and destroyed his- my office in a rampage before he left. They had to replace all the furniture in there plus the door and the doors to the front of the building.”

“Snoke did all that? Creepy, old man Snoke? Are you sure?” You were dumbfounded.

“Snoke is extraordinarily strong for his age. I know he looks like he could snap at any second, but he still trains with his MMA club.” Kylo told you.

You hummed a response, taking another bite of food. Looking up you could tell Kylo was lost in thought, and you knew once again you would need to lighten the mood. “Well.” You said, lowering your voice. “Kind of hot I’m fucking my boss, huh?”

Kylo eyes flicked up to you from the table and you could see the lust burning through them. “Are you now?” You nodded to him, grinning. “Well, I don’t think that’s allowed.”

“Oh?” You questioned.

“Yes. I think once we return, I’ll have to reprimand you in my office.” His voice was so low, you could feel the vibrations from him in your toes. Wetness began to pool in your jeans until the server interrupted.

“We will be landing in one minute. Please remember to fasten your seatbelts.” He smiled, leaving with your dishes.

You got off the plane and directly into another private car. The drive was short, and the driver offered you your bags once out of the car. Kylo was outside a moment longer but you could feel sleep tugging at your brain so decided to go inside ahead of him. When you walked into the house you kicked off your shoes and immediately left your bag in the hallway to make your way to the kitchen. You heard Kylo shut the door behind you and stop, you assumed he was following you in kicking off his own shoes and tossing his bag, but when you walked into the kitchen you froze. There sitting on the kitchen island was a yellow vase. Close but slightly different to the one Kylo had previously gotten you, and as you got closer you could see what was engraved in the vase. _The Ren’s._

“Like it?” He asked from behind you.

“Kylo.” You breathed out, turning around to look at him. Your eyes met nothing as his face wasn’t where your brain had automatically made you look at. Instead Kylo was down on the floor on one knee.

“I was going to do this so many times, but with everything going on it didn’t feel like the time, and I knew that I wanted to do this here.” He paused, watching your face. “You came into this house and made it a home, something I hadn’t had in a long time. You came into my life and made me feel like there was reason for everything, like I had a reason again. You have stuck by me through so much, even when shit was so bad. Even when things were so dark it didn’t seem like there was a way out. You want to build a house together? I’m here for that, to continue to build our lives together. I don’t care what I need to do to make you happy. I just want you with me forever, I need you with me forever. And I hope more than anything you want that too. Will you marry me?”

You couldn’t breathe. There was nothing around you except him. You didn’t think as you sank to the floor in front of him. Taking his face in your hand you kissed him hard. Without hesitation Kylo pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you impossibly close to him. Your tongue slid across his lip, and he opened his mouth to you. Your tongues fought against each other and without breaking the kiss you slid your hands down his chest until you reached his belt. Your hands fumbled with his buckle and jeans until you could feel his hard cock under your hands. Leaning back slightly Kylo pulled his pants and boxers down to his length sprang free. You shifted onto your knees and pulled your jeans down. Leaning to one side guided them off your leg then placed your knee back onto the cold floor. You were about to do the same with the other side when Kylo’s lips were back on you. In one swift motion he sank you onto him and a moan ripped from both of you.

He laid back onto the floor, grabbing your hips with both his hands he slowly started bouncing you on him. After a minute you took over, bouncing yourself up and down. “Beautiful.” Kylo moaned out. “But there’s something wrong.” He growled. You were about to ask him what he meant, but before you could he bought both hands off your hips and to the top of your shirt. In one shift motion he tore the shirt from your body and right in half. You would have stopped if it wasn’t for Kylo’s hip thrusting up into you, keeping you in motion. You should have been a little upset he ripped your clothes, but you were turned on more, letting out a loud moan at the action only to see Kylo smirk.

You bounced on top of him, not in control of the pace he set. In a single second Kylo rocked back onto his heals and flipped you onto your back. The cold floor tingled you all over, and you clenched around him. “Fuck.” Kylo growled. He took the leg that was still covered by your pants and ripped them off, then he took the other one lifting it over his shoulder to continuing thrusting, this time deeper. “God. I’ve missed fucking you in this house.” You could only moan back to him, your vision become hazy at the power of him. He pounded into you, hitting that spot inside you that made your toes curl. “Tell me how you missed me.” He grunted.

“I missed you- ah. I missed you so much!” You yelled out, fisting your hand into his shirt.

His stroke was rough, slamming you up across the floor as your skin caught slightly every time. “Tell me how much you missed this cock.”

You moaned out, arching yourself into him. “I missed your thick cock so much!”

“Yeah you did.” He moaned.

“Kylo I’m-“ You tried to tell him.

“Not yet.” He told you.

“I can’t.” You cried out, tears starting in your eyes at the intense pleasure.

“Yes, you can baby, just hold on a little long for me.”

You tried to keep your grip, pulled on his shirt to keep your grounded. The tears spilled over your lids. After more powerful thrusts Kylo leaned further into you, pressing his lips to his ear. “Cum for me.” You exploded at his words. Blackness and stars danced across your vision while you peaked. The noises coming from your mouth were unrecognizable to your own ears. Kylo grunted, his thrusts slowly in pace but not in pressure as he came with you. Moaning out your name as you did. When you both finally came back to earth, he gave you a quick peck before he rolled off next to you on the floor. Your breathing was labored as you tried to slow your heart rate, forehead sticky with sweat.

“So.” Kylo breathed out. “Can I take that as a yes?”

You laughed, rolling on your side and into his arms. “Yes.” Kylo sat both of you up and reached over to the box that a slid across the kitchen during your frantic fucking. Opening it he showed you the ring, and it was the first time you actually looked. “It’s beautiful.” You told him.

He took out the ring and grabbed your hand. “It was my grandmothers and then my mothers.”

“Thank you for giving it to me.” You whispered, feeling so grateful to walk around wearing Kylo’s family’s ring.

“It could never go to anyone else.” He smiled. “Come on.” He stood slowly, picking you up as he did.

“Where are we going?” You giggled.

“Shower.” He grinned, taking you into the bathroom. Kylo set you down on the sink before turning to start the shower. Once it was warm, he nodded his head for you to get in while he took off the remainder of his clothes. “You ruined this shirt I think.” He laughed, showing you a small rip in the chest from your nails.

“Oh, you want to talk about ruined clothes?” You raised your eyebrows to him.

He chuckled and slid in behind you. “Don’t worry, I’ll buy my fiancé all the shirts she wants.”

You smiled, stepping under the water. “I like the sound of that.”

After the much-needed shower, you and Kylo finally returned to the bedroom. After changing he went to grab your suitcases so you could start on the mountain of clothes he needed washed. “There seems to be more bags than when you left.” You questioned.

“Yeah, after about six weeks going to the laundry room wasn’t really as appealing, so anything I couldn’t have dry cleaned, I just shoved in this bag.” He held up his new duffle bag. “And I bought more.”

You laughed but shook your head at him. “Such a guy. I’m surprised you even had clean underwear.”

“I bought those too.” He chuckled. “Oh, and I have somethings for you. It’s in the blue suitcase I think, I’m not sure I haven’t been in that one in a while.”

You picked up the blue suitcase and set it on the bed. “Oh, so my new things got thrown into the oldest laundry bag now did it?” You joked.

“Hey, I do what I can.”

You unzipped the suitcase and immediately a smell hit you in the face. “Kylo, Christ. How long has it been since you washed this stuff?”

Kylo gave you a puzzled looked but walked over to you. “Whoa.” He said once he was in smelling rang. “There’s no way that can be from unwashed clothes. It’s just jeans and t-shirts.”

You inspected the suitcase for only a second longer before you realized. “It’s pee.”

“What?!” Kylo yelled, stepping back.

“That smell, that’s piss.” You told him, covering your nose with your shirt.

Kylo shook his head. “I did not piss my pants or something.”

You looked between him and the bag. “No. I’m sure I know who pissed in your suitcase though.”

The confusion on Kylo’s face only lasted for a moment longer before he too realized. “No fucking way.”

“It seems so, yes.”

“Why would she do that?” He asked.

You shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe marking her territory like the dog she is.”

“Fuck me.” Kylo groaned. “Well. Let me take this to the back yard and burn it.”

You frowned slightly. “What did you get me that was in here?”

“A couple of new sweatshirts from Chicago.” He mumbled, rezipping the bag.

You nodded, letting him take the bag with him to the backyard. “What a crazy bitch.”

“At least you got one good hit on her.” He smirked.

“Guess that’s true.” You chuckled. “I’m going to change the bedding since that suitcase was on it.

“Right.” Kylo agreed.

You were only in the bedroom about five minutes when you heard his phone go off from the other room. “Babe!” You yelled to him.

“I got it.” He huffed. “Hello.”

There was a long silence. Kylo was quiet, way too quiet and you had to go check to see what was wrong. When you walked into the kitchen, he started at you, but had the phone pressed to his ear. “Are you sure?” Long pause. “And there’s nothing else we can do at this point?” His eye twitched. “Thank you for letting me know.” He ended the call.

“What’s wrong.” You were nervous at how mad Kylo looked.

“That was Kenobi. It’s about Bazine.” He looked past you, trying to avoid your eyes as fear spiked through you.

"What about her?" You asked, voice shakey.

Kylo's eyes came back to you, anger pouring out of them. "She's been released on bail."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said two chapters this week, and i meant it this time dammit! hahaha. 
> 
> 25 chapters and 100,000 words later and you all never fail to amaze me. I can not thank you enough for your comments and kudos. Everytime i post it's shocking to me everyone just doesn't unsub or unbookmark and delete this story from their brains, truly. I hope this is still amazing for you.
> 
> Also, i always put something emotional connected to what's happen, or something significant in italics, but if fried cheese sticks aren't an emotion i don't know what is! hahaha. 
> 
> HOW WAS IT? Did we like the proposal? Are we nervous about Bazine getting out on bail? Snoke being pissed off? There's so much to come i'm so excited! There will be chapter next week but then i will be a week off, so just prepare for a cliffhanger i'm not even going to try to hide it lol.
> 
> Also my other AU will have a new chapter Monday / Tuesday if you’re reading that! :)  
> As always please let me know your thoughts here, twitter, tumblr and tiktok all Strawberriedalive :)


	26. The principles office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rose come over and Principle Ren starts off with a bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take this smut as an apology for a break i didn't intend to be two weeks.
> 
> This is unedited right now, will edit tomorrow.

The world stopped spinning. It felt as if all the air was knocked out of your lungs. “What do you mean she made bail? Who the hell got her out?! That was a large bail.”  
  
Kylo ran a hand through his hair. “We can’t stay here.”  
  
“What?!” You yelled to him.  
  
“If she’s out that mean’s she could come here.” Kylo started pacing, his long legs only getting him across the kitchen in a few steps only to turn around and go back.  
  
“We can’t go hiding from our home Kylo.” Your voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
He stopped pacing to look at you. Seeing the tears starting in your eyes. He came over, wrapping you in his arms. “I need to keep you safe.”  
  
“I know.” You nodded into his chest. You stood, softly crying against Kylo as he held you tight against him. A couple of minutes later Kylo stepped back, walking over to his phone. “What are you doing?”  
  
“You’re right, we can’t go running.” He tapped his screen a couple of times before putting it back to his ear. “Finn. It’s Kylo. I need a favor.”  
  
An hour later Finn and Rose were standing in your kitchen, listening to the aftermath of the meeting they had listened on.  
  
“That’s why I called you.” Kylo looked to Finn.  
  
“I figured. I brought everything you need.” Finn nodded to the box on the table. “Let get started.”  
  
“Can someone explain what’s happening?” You questioned.  
  
“Come on.” Rose stood, holding out her hand. “You look like you need a drink.”  
  
You took her hand, letting her drag you to the kitchen. “Top shelf of the fridge.” You pointed. “So, what’s in the box?”  
  
“Finn use to work for a security company.” Rose told you, grabbing the bottle and two glasses. “He brought over security camera’s for inside and outside the house. As well as new locks plus some more locks for both doors.”  
  
You breathed out a sigh of relief. “So, we can stay in our house?”  
  
“We can stay in our house.” Kylo said, coming up behind you. “Finns setting it up now. And I’m going to change the locks. This.” He said handing you a key. “And this.” He held up another key that was his. “Are the only ways to get into the house. If anyone comes in or out I’ll get an alert on my phone.”  
  
“Okay.” You nodded.  
  
“Okay.” Kylo gave you a small smile and kissed your forehead before going to the front door.  
  
Once he was out of the kitchen you turned back to Rose who gave you a weird look. “What?” You asked her.  
  
She clicked her tongue. “So you want to tell me about that ring on your finger?”  
  
You looked at her confused for a second, before looking down to Kylo’s grandmothers ring, your ring. “I kind of forgot.” You laughed lightly, holding it up to her. “It happened about an hour before he called Finn.”  
  
“And i can tell there was a celebration already.” Rose smirked, nodding her head to the clothes that had been kicked under the table.  
  
“Oh my god.” You buried your face into your hands and Rose busted out laughing.  
  
“I’m really happy for you.” Rose said once her laugher died down.  
  
“Thank you.” You smiled softly to her.  
  
Rose bent down, picking up your ripped shirt. “Maybe just not as happy as Kylo.” She giggled.  
  
You laughed, snatching the ripped fabric from her hands. “What about you? In all the craziness I haven’t heard anything about your wedding.”  
  
Rose’s face dropped slightly. “Well. Um.”  
  
You narrowed your eyes to her. “What?”  
  
“Finn!” Rose yelled.  
  
“What’s happening?” You asked her.  
  
“Yes?” Finn asked walking in the room.  
  
“You guys okay?” Kylo came in after him.  
  
Finn walked over to Rose, giving her a questioning look and she turned back to you. “So. Finn and I got married.”  
  
“What?” You said, shocked.  
  
“Yes. We decided we didn’t want to have a big wedding because we wanted to save money for the baby.” Rose smiled to you.  
  
“WHAT?!” You jumped to hug her.  
  
“Congratulations guys.” Kylo told them, giving Finn a fist bump.  
  
“I’m so excited!” You squealed, squeezing Rose.  
  
“Thank you.” She hugged you back. “Good, now I didn’t have to fake drink this wine.”  
  
Finn and Kylo finished putting up the camera’s and changing the locks before he and Rose left.

“Walk out with me.” Rose whispered, waving to Kylo over her shoulder.

You gave her a questioning look but followed her out anyways. Once at Finn’s car she popped the trunk and handed you a photo packet. “What’s this?”

“Look at them!” Rose smiled. You opened the packet, inside was five photos. One of you and Rose, one of you, Rose, Poe, and Finn. Next was a photo of you Rose and Rey. The last two were photo’s of you and Kylo.

You smiled at the photos. “These are awesome thank you.”

“This one.” Rose pointed to the last photo of you and Kylo. “This is my favorite.” It was a nice photo of the two of you, dancing at Rey and Ben’s wedding, looking completely lost and in love in your own little world.

“Thank you Rose, I actually have just the frame for this.” You waved the photo.

Once back inside you made sure Kylo was in bed before you pulled out a box of empty frames you had. While placing that photo of the two of you in it, you got an idea. You went to a drawer filled with gift bags and slipped it in there. Once you hid the bag, you slipped into bed with Kylo to fall asleep peacefully in your own bed. Sunday Kylo and yourself spent laying around on the couch, going between watching movies and fucking. It wasn’t until after you ordered take out for dinner that you remembered the photo Rose had brought.

“Oh.” You shot off of the couch. “I have something for you.”

Kylo smirked, sitting up “Oh really? Is it like the last one?”

“Shut up!” You smiled, handing him the bag. “Here you go, for your office.”  
  
Kylo quirked a brow to you. “What’s this?”  
  
“Just open it!” You giggled, urging him on.  
  
Kylo removed the tissue paper, pulling the picture frame from the bag. “It’s us.” His smile split his face, looking down at a photo of the two of you.  
  
“Rose took it before Rey’s wedding, but I didn’t know until yesterday and when I saw it I thought it’d look great on your desk.”  
  
Kylo looked back to you, his brown eyes filled with adoration. “I love you.”

The next day at school was dragging on, but the class before lunch you texted Kylo asking if he had any lunch meetings. He told you no, and to come see him on your break. You made you way to his office after your last morning class, trying your hardest to keep a goofy grin off your face. You waved to the front desk as you walked back to his door a little further down the hall. Knocking twice you held your breath and waited for the deep voice you loved so much to call you in, but nothing came. Slowly you opened the door to his office, and peered in. There was a large wood desk by one wall, with two bookshelves behind it. A large, rectangular window overlook the city neighboring the school. Smiling to yourself you stepped inside, leaving the door open behind you to see what books Kylo choose to bring from the house here. Stopping in front of the picture you gave him the night before.  
  
Without warning two hands locked around your waist, breath against your ear caught you off guard. “Is there something you needed, Mrs. Ren?” Kylo’s voice was low. The vibrations in his chest making your hair stand on end in all the right ways.  
  
Slowly you turned in his hands. “Actually, it’s not Mrs. Ren yet.”  
  
He smirked. “Oh yes, how could i forget we need to discuss changing that.”  
  
You held your engagement ring up to him and smiled. “I think we had that talk.”  
  
Kylo spun you walking you backwards. “I want it now.”  
  
You laughed, trying to keep up with his steps. “Kylo, we’ve been engaged two days, we can’t just get married now.”  
  
Your ass hit his desk before he lifted you onto it by your thighs. “We could if we wanted too.” He licked his lips. “But that’s not what I was referring too.”

You felt the heat growing within you, but put you hand on his chest to stop him. “Kylo, it’s the middle of the day.”

“And I have already informed the front desk I am not to be disrupted on my lunch today.” His voice was low, filled with need and it only turned you on more. Before you could protest more Kylo pushed you back on his desk and unbuttoned your pants. You giggled lightly at him, causing his eyes to grow dark. “You find this funny?”

“No.” You chewed on your bottom lip.

“No?” He asked.

“No sir.” You corrected yourself.

Kylo leaned over you, bringing your panties down in a swift motion. “Good girl.” He grabbed your thighs and pulled you off the desk while he stood straight again. The air was knocked from your lungs as he turned you and pushed you onto it. “Don’t make a noise.” He growled. You caught your breath as he undid his pants quickly. You were waiting to feel him against you, but instead you felt him lower himself behind you, licking a stripe from your clit to your second hole.

“Whoa.” You said, attempting to scoot forward. “Kylo, I’ve never-“

Kylo’s large hands held you in place. “Trust me.”

You inhaled sharply waiting for him to do something else, but he didn’t. You looked behind you to see him watching you, waiting for your permission. You gave him a slight nod and he returned back to what he started. Ever so slowly he began licking at you again. Moving between your pussy and your ass. You let him go, waiting for a weird feeling to come so you could stop him, but it never did. Much to your own surprise it felt good, and you realized you liked it. Relaxing as much as you could onto the desk under you, you let him continue. Feeling your own slick starting to drip down your legs, onto where his hand was keeping you in place by your thigh. “So wet for me.” He said, standing behind you again. “Remember what I said, no noise.” Kylo lined his cock up with your sex but stop there. He brought two fingers around to your mouth and placed them at your lips. “Suck.” He commanded, and you did as he said.

Once he was satisfied that you had made his fingers wet enough, he pulled out and brought his hand back to your ass. It one movement he pushed his cock inside of your pussy, while pushing one finger into your ass. He stilled again, letting you adjust to him. The feeling was different but not unwelcomed. You breathed out a long breath and nodded again. Once he knew you were okay, he started to move. His hips fasted than his hand. “God, you’re fucking tight everywhere.” Kylo grunted out, his finger working you open to add another. It was the fullest you had ever felt.

“More.” You huffed out.

“Needy.” Kylo said, smirk evident in his voice. He added a third finger into you and started thrusting fast. He pounded your hips into his desk, scooting it little by little with each powerful thrust. You had to bit the inside of your cheek to keep the moans down. Your climax was building fast, the new sensation only making you want more and more.

“Please.” Was all you could manage to get out quietly.

“Sh.” Kylo cooed at you. “Not yet.” You weren’t sure how much more you could take. Your clit crying out to be touched, to get your release as Kylo hit that sweet spot inside you. Intensified by his fingers moving to meet his thrusts. You wanted to scream, moan, shout, something. It was one of the most intimate and intense feelings you’ve felt to date. You weren’t sure how long Kylo stayed there, pounding into both of your openings before his other hand snaked around to rub your nerves. “Okay.” Was all Kylo said before you nearly blacked out. You felt your orgasm hit and your knees gave out, the desk and Kylo’s body weight the only things keeping you from hitting the floor. You couldn’t tell if you were quiet because your vision and hearing stopped all together while it happened. Kylo pumped into you once more before his spilled inside of you. “Fuck.” You heard him moan quietly as you came back too. He leaned on you, catching his breath before he pulled out, and fixed himself. “Talk to me.” Kylo told you as he readjusted your panties and pants. He pulled you up and turned you around. “Baby.”

“I’m okay.” You nodded.

“Sit.” Kylo said, pulling his chair up behind you. “Carefully.” He warned you. You did as he said, slowly sitting in the chair. Finding it wasn’t as uncomfortable to sit as you would have thought. Kylo walked over to a mini fridge in the corner of his office and grabbed two waters. Walking back over, he opened one and handed you it. “Drink please.”

You took the water from him. “This seems familiar.” You smiled.

Kylo chucked, shaking his head at you. “Finish the water please.” He watched you as you finished it, before handing you the next bottle. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You told him, sipping the second bottle slowly. “That was…” Kylo watched your face, waiting for an answer. “I’ve never done anything like….. that.”

“Was it okay?” He was being so serious and concerned, you couldn’t help but smile.

“Better than okay.”

Kylo’s body relaxed when you finally answered, and he leaned down to kiss your forehead. “Good.”

“I have to go back to class now.” You stood slow, Kylo keeping his hand on you to make sure you were steady on your feet. “I have rehearsal after school.”

“I’ll see you at home then?” He walked you to his door.

“Of course.” You nodded, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Take my car home.” He pulled his key out of your pocket. “Just make sure someone walks to your car with you.” He said sternly.

“Yes sir.” You winked before turning to walk out of the office.  
  
Once school was over you made your way to rehearsals. Poe put you in charge of group dancing. You snapped your fingers on beat, and step counted so many times in two hours you were sick of your own voice. Every once in a while, your thoughts would return to Kylo, causing you to unknowingly smile to yourself. Poe would subtly point it out by clearing his throat. Thankfully the students seemed to be understanding the dance numbers more, so you just had them go through them a couple times before dismissing them.

Once they were all gone, Poe made his way over to you. “I parked by Kylo’s car today. I assume that’s what you’re taking home?”

You dangled Kylo’s keys by your finger. “You assume correct.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you.” Poe nodded his head to the door.

The two of you walked in silence, until you reacted Poe’s car. “Thanks.” You nodded to him.

“I’m going to wait until you get in to leave.” He told you, opening his door. You walked the few steps to the spot Kylo was in and stopped to put your stuff in the trunk.  
  
“Y/N?” A man walked up from behind you.  
  
“Yes?” You questioned, inching back from him.  
  
He pulled a large manilla envelope from behind him. “You’ve been served.”  
  
“Excuse me?” You asked, taking the envelope being shoved at you. The man turned once you had it and promptly got back into his car.  
  
You stared at the large envelope, slowly opening the top of it. You started to pull the stack of papers out when one name stopped you dead.  
  
Bazine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeyy guys... I am sorry! I really didn't mean to take a two week break (From everything in my life) but it just kind of happened. If you follow my tumblr you were warned, if not i just disappeared, Or you saw me commenting on the internet so you knew i wasn't dead. lol
> 
> I will be back to regular updates of once or twice a week again now. (The chapter i never posted for the FBI AU will also be up, again, i apologize.)
> 
> We have a lot of drama coming to both stories so buckle up. 
> 
> As always tell me your thoughts! I missed hearing from you guys but that break defiantly put me in a better place mentally so hopefully you're still on board with this story <3 
> 
> Love you guys and thanks for the love.


	27. That's the deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this after a 16 hour work day, spare me, i beg of you.

You stood, leaning against the kitchen counter listening to Kylo go over your case with the lawyers for the 3rd time that week. It’s been days since you were handed the court summons stating Bazine was suing you for physically attacking her. The disbelief was still as present as it was that day. Kylo had done nothing but reassure you that Bazine wouldn’t get away with it, having both Maul and Grievous fly to New York to work on the case.  
  
Regardless of all his reassurance, something in your gut told you this was far from the end. You were exhausted by this, emotionally, and mentally. Days were a blur of lawyer meetings and work. Kylo drove you to work and from work, and the days you had rehearsal Poe would drive you home. Even in the safest settings you felt like Bazine might strike again.  
  
Kylo glanced up at you and you must have had your emotions written all over your face. He excused himself from the table and motioned for you to follow him back to the bedroom.  
  
Once you were both in he shut the door and brought you into his arm. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head and Kylo pulled back slowly. He looked at you as if you might break at any second. “We will get through this together.” His words settled you and you nodded, pushing your face into his chest. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you.” You said taking a step back from him. He caught your waist before you could get any further bring his face to yours and crushing your lips. He walked you backwards towards the bed and spun you so when you landed you were on his lap. It was so easy to get lost in him. To stay here forever and forget about everything else, but a single thought sobered you and caused you to pull back. “Kylo, there’s still people in our house.”  
  
He growled lightly, pulling back. “I’ll get them out then.” He said as he stood with you still in his arms. He dropped you on the bed before leaving the room. You heard him talking with Maul and Grievous but couldn’t make out words. A few moments later you heard the front door close, followed by sound of Kylo’s slow footsteps. The door creaked open, and he stood leaning against the doorway staring at you. He looked at you as if you were the sun, and he the earth.

He came in, shutting the door, and walked to you. He brought you back into his chest as he slowly sat on the bed. “You are so beautiful.” He told you, peppering kisses down your neck. “I love you more than I thought I could ever love anything on this earth.” Kylo slowly lifted your shirt as he talked, pulling it off of you and tossing it on the floor. “I keep telling you everything is going to be fine, but you don’t believe me.” He tossed your bra next. “So I think, I have to show just how fine we’re going to be, don’t you think?” He asked.

He gave you no time to answer as he jammed his tongue into your mouth, locking your lips and holding your head to keep you from moving. Not that you would, you melted to him, letting him control the kiss completely. He stood you both slowly, taking a few steps from the bed before prying his lips off your as if it pained him. “Knees.” He said. You blinked at him, dizzy from your kiss before you fell to your knees in front of him. “Good.” He purred at you. Peeking up at him through your lashes as he undid his belt buckle you watched his every move as if this was the first time again. Needing this, needing him, to distract you from your own racing mind. Slowly he pulled himself free, stroking himself as he took a half step towards you. You sat back on your feet as he got closer, waiting to see what he would do. “Open.” He demanded, and you do it for him, opening as wide as your jaw will allow. “Such a good girl.” He smirks. “Now, babygirl, here’s what’s going to happen. First, I’m going to fuck your pretty face until that mouth of yours is numb. Then we’re goin-“  
  
A knock at the front door stopped you both. You turn your head to the closed bedroom door and wait. After a few seconds the knocking stops, leaving you both in silence again. You listen, breath heavy, to see if they’ll knock again. Before either of you can try to go back to the previous activity your phone rings from the bedside table, causing both of you to jump.  
  
“Fucking hell.” Kylo mumbled, walking to get your phone. He looks at it and almost growls, handing it over.  
  
After taking a second to read the name you answer. “Rey, can I call you back? It’s not-“  
  
“Can you open your front door?” She interrupts, and you can hear the awkwardness in her voice, knowing that means she probably drug Ben over here to talk.  
  
“Oh. Uh.” You bite your lip and look at Kylo, then glanced down at little Kylo and sighed. “Yeah. One second.”  
  
Getting to your feet, you tugged your shirt back over your head and threw your phone on the bed.  
  
“Rey’s here?” Kylo quirked a brow.  
  
“And I assume she is not alone.” You warn him, making your way to the front door. Once you open it you see your suspicions were correct. Rey bounces in, and behind her is a big, moody clone.  
  
“Why is my new key not working?” Rey asks.  
  
“We had to change the locks.” Kylo answers, appearing from the hallway fully put back together.

“You guys just gave me this not to long ago?” Rey questioned.  
  
“Ah. Come on. We got into a fight! You didn’t need to lock us out.” Ben whined.  
  
Kylo’s mood flipped like a switch. Pointing a finger at Ben, he crossed the room towards him in two long strides, placing himself between Ben and Rey. “We did not ‘get into a fight’. YOU put your hands on my fiancé.”

Ben stepped away from him. “Why didn’t we do this last time?!”

“Because that time wasn’t about you Ben, and secondly, the lock change was not because of you. It was for her safety.” Kylo barked at him.  
  
“Safety?” Ben questioned, looking over to you.  
  
“Fiancé?” Rey raised an eyebrow, following Ben’s eyes in your direction. You smile at her, holding up your hand. Rey turns to slap Kylo’s arm. “ABOUT DAMN TIME!” She yelled at him. Kylo turned his face to her while still pointing his finger angerly in Ben’s face. Kylo continued to stare at Rey, his anger towards Ben slipping, so you decide to take your chance while you had it.

  
“With that being said, I want you to be my maid of honor.” You tell Rey before you turn to both men. “And Ben I know Kylo wants you to be his best man. So! Let’s get this over with.” Kylo stares at you emotionless as you step closer to Ben. Ben opens his mouth, but you put your hand up. “What you said was not okay.”  
  
“I know.” Ben agrees.  
  
“And what you did, grabbing me, was not okay.”  
  
“Yes. You’re right.” He nods.  
  
You kept your eyes away from Kylo’s glare. “With that being said. I know you were scared and trying to protect me.”  
  
“Hey. I don’t get scar-“Ben starts, but quickly stops when he sees Rey’s warning look to him. Sighing, he nods again. “You’re right.”  
  
“Okay.” You say, waiting for him to take the lead now.  
  
Ben stares at you for a second before finally speaking. “I’m not good at this stuff, but I was completely out of line. It’s just after everything we’ve been through with Kylo I may be a little protective over him. But either way, I’m an ass and I apologize.” Before you could say anything, he turned to Kylo. “You get one free punch, at any point between now and the rest of our lives.”  
  
Kylo looked between Ben and yourself before you realized that he was waiting for your lead. You turned back to Ben. “Ben. I forgive you.”  
  
“Thank you.” He smiled, then turned back to Kylo. Kylo stared at you, not glancing back at Ben.

“Come on Ky. One free punch is a pretty sweet deal.” Rey said.

Ben cracked a smile. “And finding another best man might be hard if you murder me.”

Kylo continued to only stare at you until you gave him a small smile and Kylo breathed heavy through his nose. “Fine.”  
  
“Yay!” Rey cheered. “Now, can we talk about if you were going to tell any of us about this little engagement before Leia and Han’s fundraiser?”  
  
“The fundraiser!” Kylo groaned.  
  
“You forgot?” Ben laughed.  
  
You looked around at them. “What’s happening?”  
  
Rey let out a small laugh. “Han and Leia put on a fundraiser every year. It’s mostly good press for the company but free booze and food for us.”  
  
“Yeah. It will be like our wedding, but with an auction.” Ben told you.  
  
“That sounds fun.” You said, smiling at Kylo who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “What gets auctioned?”  
  
Ben and Rey looked at each other before they burst out laughing. “KYLO!” They yelled at the same time.  
  
“No. No.” Kylo wagged his finger.  
  
“Yes. Yes.” Ben laughed. “I’m married now.”  
  
“Can someone please explain what you all are talking about?” You asked again.  
  
“Every year there’s a couple of guys that get auctioned for a date. It raises the most money for the charities! But since Ben’s out now, they’re short someone.” Rey explained.  
  
“Which will not be me.” Kylo said flatly.  
  
“Oh yes it will!” Ben chuckled, the smile on his face wide as ever. “I hope you don’t get jealous easy.”  
  
“Never.” You laughed.  
  
“Don’t be so sure.” Rey warned you jokingly. “Now, let’s get the wine so we can hear about how you’re going to tell everyone else!”  
  
Ben and Rey made their way to the fridge, as you slowly followed behind Kylo pulled you into his chest and leaned down. “Any chance you want to get married before the fundraiser?”  
  
You giggled. “When is it?”  
  
“Saturday.” He laughed.  
  
“That’s in two day!” You exclaimed.  
  
“We could go tomorrow.” He shrugged, and you got the impression he was no longer joking.  
  
“No! No!” Rey yelled. “You have to tell them before you get married! No easy way out!”  
  
“I was out of their lives for years, Rey. I think this wouldn’t be that big for them.” Kylo said, guiding you both to the island.  
  
“Okay, now. We all know that’s bullshit.” Ben rolled his eyes.  
  
“So. What color is my dress?” Rey smiled.  
  
  
The rest of the night was spent telling them about the events of the week and convincing them you were not having a big wedding. It was the first time that week you felt truly happy and that happiness continued into your workday. Friday classes were easy and once the school day was done you were ready to pack up and head home.  
  
As you did a quick clean of your desk something caught your attention. The sound of heals on the school floor froze you in your place. You stared at the door hoping you were losing it and it was someone else. Anyone else. But no such luck. Bazine appeared in the doorway and you stood from your chair.  
  
“Get out.” You barked at her.  
  
“Miss me?” She asked, sounding almost serious.  
  
“I’m calling the cops.” You tried to keep your voice steady, trying to think where your phone was.  
  
“Save it. I have something you might want to hear about and a deal.” She smirked. You stared at her, trying to read what she was thinking. “So. I have acquired some information about your boyfriends family, something that would destroy the Solo’s from the inside out.”  
  
You felt as if all the air left your lungs at once. “What information?”  
  
Bazine laughed. “Oh no. I’m not telling you that, but i will offer you a deal.”  
  
“What could you possibly offer me?”  
  
“Leave Kylo and I won’t go after them, or stay with him and watch them crumble.” She smiled wider. “Oh, and I’ll drop the charges.”  
  
You couldn’t move, couldn’t respond. Your head spun. Leave Kylo? Of course that was her price. Leaving Kylo would mean ending your own life. But would you do it to keep a secret you didn’t know about from an entire family? A family you loved as your own. Even if it meant never seeing them again either. You had to think fast.  
  
“Well?” Bazine pushed.

“How would you know this ‘dirty little secret’. How do I know it’s real?”

Bazine shook her head and laughed. “Do you forget who my family is? Snoke has more power than just here.”  
  
She had to be telling the truth, there were to many factors for this to be a lie. You swallowed hard. “If I do this, if I leave him. Leave New York and all of it you swear that you will never day anything about whatever it is you know?”  
  
“That’s the deal. Leave your boyfriend and I go away.” She all but purred at you.  
  
You crossed your arms over your chest the best you could with your cast, trying to hold your body together physically. You were about to correct her as she kept calling Kylo your boyfriend but it felt like defusing a bomb. Any wrong wire in this situation and she’d blow. “Fine.”  
  
“That was easy.” Bazine laughed again.  
  
“They are good people and they’ve already been through enough, Kylo included. They don’t deserve anything else to happen to them.” You stated flatly. “But. There is one thing I need in order to do this.”  
  
“I don’t think you can make deman-“  
  
“I want to know why.” You cut her off. “I want to know why you’ve done all of this. With Kylo, with me. Everything.”  
  
Bazine stared at you, as if she was shocked you would want to know, or maybe she was shocked it wasn’t obvious information. “I love him.” She paused. “And if I can’t have the man I love, at least I know he’ll be as miserable as me.”  
  
“That’s not love, Bazine.” You were holding back all emotion in your voice, or at least you hoped you were.  
  
She shrugged. “Call it what you want. You have 3 days.”  
  
“3 days? I can’t go that fast! I need to find somewhere to go. A job somewhere. Get my life packed.” You were starting to lose it now.  
  
“Figure it out, you’re a smart girl. Three days and if you breathe a word to Kylo I’ll leak the information on the spot when I find out.” Bazine added before turning and leaving without another word.  
  
As soon as you heard the door shut at the stairs your crumbled to the ground, Sobs ripping from your chest that echoed off the walls mixing with the fresh groans from your lips. You gasped for air between cries. Think. You had to think. You crawled around your desk on your hands and knee’s to your purse. You dumped it out, searching for your phone. Once you found it in the scatter items on the ground you opened your contacts, not knowing who else could possibly help you right now.  
  
It rang twice. “Hello?”  
  
“Ben.” You cried.  
  
“Holy shit.” Ben cursed your name. “What’s going on? Where’s Kylo?”  
  
“Ben i need you and Rey to meet me, and I need you to not tell Kylo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do i even apologize anymore, or do i just buy everyone bats and you can all beat me with them in the village square?  
> I am sorry for the less and less updates, i swear i write a little everyday but your girl is official working two (actually 3) jobs so, you know how that goes. I've also been trying my hand at making a tiktok for this story like a said i was going to months ago and i just... i don't understand ahahaha. So, sorry for the no visuals on this. 
> 
> i did update the other AU last week so, if you want some hot FBI Kylo that's your spot. Other than that i have nothing else for you guys. 
> 
> As always let me know if you still are here for the drama or if you just want to beat me with a bat. 
> 
> Thank you guys for sticking with me <3 Keep my sanity in your thoughts this week.


	28. For that I am most sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I truly am so sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as always, unedited so far. So i apologize for that. My brain has recently turned into a fried egg.  
> Love you all <3

Sitting in Ben and Rey’s hotel room, recalling for the fourth time to them, well Ben specifically this last two times, what had gone on inside your classroom with Bazine you felt like time was frozen.  
  
“This is insane.” Rey laughed dryly. “What could she possibly have?”  
  
Ben paced back in forth across their hotel room. “I don’t know. I can’t even think of anything that could ruin us.”  
  
“So she has nothing then!” Rey told him, scooting herself off the bed you both sat on.  
  
“But what if she does.” You said, voice so low you weren’t sure they had even heard you.  
  
Rey’s head whipped back to you, a sad look in her eyes. “Honey, I am so sorry.”  
  
“No.” Ben said flatly, stopping in his tracks to look to both of you. “No one gets to be sorry because it is no one’s fault and you” ben waved a finger at you. “You can’t leave my brother. It will destroy him.”  
  
“You think it won’t destroy her!” Rey yelled at him. “What choice does she have here?!”  
  
“You know how bad it was with Kylo before her, Rey! You know how broken he was. Think of how it was when he lost us, then times that 100.” Ben finally lowered his voice, the worry for his brother apparent on his face.

"How do you know how he was after he changed his name?" You asked. 

Rey gave Ben a look but Ben waved her off. "It doesn't matter now Rey." Ben turned back to you. "We kept tabs on him. I can't tell you what happened inside of his house, but I can tell you he didn't leave it for two weeks, and when he finally did he looked homeless." Ben waved his waved his hand towards you.  
So this can’t happen. Not the same way”  
  
“Do you have a plan?” You asked. You voice gave you away more.  
  
Ben and Rey looked back to you, tears soaking your face, and Ben nodded. “I do.”

“What is it then?” Rey urged.

Ben paused, taking a deep breath to run his hands through his hair. “The day after our parents benefit, I’ll take Kylo out. Rey you go over to their house and help her pack what she will need. When I bring him back.” Ben stopped, as if he didn’t want to say what he needed too. “You break up with him.” You stared at Ben, hoping there was more to his plan than this. “Do what you have to do but get out quick. Rey and I will be waiting down the street in a car. Once you’re in we’ll go to the airport and fly us to my parents. They can figure this out with us.”

“So, your plan to keep her from leaving Kylo is to leave Kylo?” Rey asked him sarcastically.

“I don’t want it to be but we have to make him believe that she’s really gone.” Ben paced again.

“He won’t give up that easy, Ben. He’ll go looking for her.” Rey told him.

“You think he would look for her at our parents house?” Ben questioned.

“No.” You answered for Rey. “He knows I love all of you, but to leave him and then go to his family is something he knows I wouldn’t do.” 

Ben nodded. “Good.”  
  
“How am I supposed to just go through tomorrow smiling?” You asked. “I can’t just be with him knowing that I’m hours away from breaking his heart, breaking my own heart.”

You thought it would be Rey to comfort you, but to your surprise Ben came and sat down next to you. “We’ll be there if you need us. But you know that there is nothing else to do here. At the very least Bazine will release the information Sunday night if you’re still there so because you love him you have to do this and he can’t see it coming or he’ll get involved. Bazine told you what would happen if he did.”

You swiped a tear off your cheek, nodding to Ben. The three of you sat in silence for a moment before Ben’s phone rang, causing the three of you to jump. Ben stood, walking to the phone but stopping when he read his screen. “It’s Kylo.” Slowly he brought the phone up and answered. “Hello?”

You could hear Kylo on the other side of the phone and Ben turned to you. You realized then none of you had told Kylo that he didn’t need to drive you home, and he was probably freaking out inside of your empty classroom. “Yeah, no she’s here. I told her I’d text you that Rey picked her up I forgot, that’s on me.” Ben nodded to himself. “Okay see you in a second.”

“He’s coming here?” Rey asked.

“Yes.” Ben nodded.

“Great. So now we’re all in trouble.” Rey groaned.

“Let’s just tell him it was my fault and agree. He’s about to have the worse few weeks of his life. Let’s just let him have this one.” Ben seemed to be telling himself more than the both of you.

Only ten minutes later there was pounding on the hotel door. Slowly Ben walked over and opened it. When there was a crack in the door Kylo pushed past it, nearly knocking Ben over while doing so. His eyes locked with yours and he marched towards you, all but picking you up off the bed in the process. “Why did you do that?” He half yelled. “Why wouldn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

“I uh-“

“I was so worried about you. You left your school bag in your room.” He told you, pulling you into his chest. “Don’t do that again.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered into his skin.

“It was my fault.” Ben told him.

Kylo released you, turning back to Ben. “Yes it was. How could you be so stupid? You told her you’d let me know and you didn’t. You know our situation, what’s wrong with you?”

“You’re right.” Ben said, and Kylo immediately stopped.

“Excuse me?” Kylo asked him.

“No, I mean it. You’re right Ky. I told her I text you and I forgot too. You had every right to be worried, and upset with me.”

Kylo stared at Ben for a long moment, and no one else spoke. “Just…” Kylo sighed, looking back to you. “Just don’t let it happen again Ben.”

“Keep, you have my word.” Ben put his hand up in a scout’s honor position, but Kylo was to busy watching you.

“Are you ready?” He asked.

You nodded, squeaking out a “Yes.”

Kylo held out his hand for you to take and you did. “See you guys tomorrow.” You said, shooting one last glance at them for some kind of help you knew you couldn’t get. You followed Kylo down to his car on the street and he kept his hand in yours the whole ride home. “You want to get some dinner?” You finally asked him.

“Let’s order in.” He said, voice even.

He was still upset, and you weren’t in the mood to try to convince him not to be. After tomorrow everything was going to be very different.

  
The next day was a blur of getting ready for the benefit, to meeting people, to drinking way to much with Ben, Rey and even Kylo. None of it was worth remember as tomorrow played on your brain. Only when Kylo would touch you or kiss you did you stop worrying and really take him in. You held his hand a little tighter, and kissed him a little longer. Towards the end of the night you and Rey were sitting at a table watching Kylo and Ben argue points of the movie Jumanji to each other while they played pool. Smiling to yourself, you watched in a haze as he moved, knowing these small moments may be the last. Kylo may never forgive you for what you have to do, not just for his family that has been nothing but loving, but for him. Who knows what information Bazine has and how it could hurt Kylo and his career and the rest of his family.   
  
“Stop.” Reys voice cut through your thoughts.  
  
“What?” You jumped, a little surprised.  
  
She sighed, putting her glass down. “Tonight is your last night with him and you don’t know how long for. He doesn’t have that information. So, do both of you a favor and enjoy it, because who knows how long it will be before you get to fee happiness like this again.”  
  
You sighed. “You’re right, but it’s hard.”  
  
“I can not even imagine.” Rey sipped her wine.  
  
“Promise me one thing Rey.” You looked to her.  
  
“Anything.”  
  
You slipped your own wine. “Promise not to pitty me when I crumble in your arms tomorrow night, and after all of this is over promise that we’ll never mention it again.”  
  
“Never.” Rey agreed. “I’m going to distract Ben so you can go have your fun. Remember, try to soak it up while you can.” She smiled before walking to where Ben and Kylo were.  
  
Kylo was still towering over the table, leaning down and reading something Ben had laid in front of him. Kylo smiled at it, laughed and teased his brother before his eyes started searching the room for you. Once they locked on you he stood straight, and beelined for you.  
  
“Hello beautiful.” He said, pulling you into him.  
  
“Hi.” You whispered back.

"Dance with me." 

You giggled as he swayed you both. "People are watching." 

"Let them." He shrugged. “Do you know how much I love you?”   
  
“Yes.” You smiled up at him. “Because I feel the same way.”  
  
Kylo tilted your head back, looking deep into your eyes. “You saved me, and you save me again every day. Over and over.”  
  
Your heart fluttered at his words, and he bent down to kiss you. “You saved me too.” You told him when he finally broke your kiss. “Life with you has been like finally taking a deep breath of air after being under water just a couple seconds too long." You told him. "and I'm so proud of everything you've done."

"Marrying you will be the greatest accomplishment I've had thus far." He smiled down to you and ran his fingertips down the side of your face. “You want to get out of here?”  
  
“Yes.” You nodded, downing your wine glass, and taking his hand.

Leaving the hall and walking down the street you curled yourself into Kylo as much as you could. He tightened his grip on you, as if he was trying to mush the two of you into one person. The two of you walked alone on the street. It was odd for the busy city, to be so alone in the middle of it. Ben words rang in your head from yesterday. Nibbling at the edge of your brain. A questioned you had to know the answer too. “Kylo?” You said, standing at the cross walk waiting for the signal. “Do you think that losing me would be worse than losing your family?”

Kylo stepped back from you, almost off the curb. “What kind of question is that?”

You shrugged, trying to play if off a silly girlfriend question. “Oh, nothing. Ben just said something earlier and I just think he’s wrong is all. You know how much I love to be right over Ben.”

Kylo stared at you for too long, his eyes intense. “Yes.”

“What?” You questioned, with a half laugh.

“Losing you would be worse than when I lost my family.” He stated.

You felt the blood drain from your face. The buzz you had long gone at his sobering words. You swallowed hard, not knowing how to respond. Now you had the answer you wanted to hear, but it wasn’t the response you expected. You’d had hope that Ben would be enough to keep him from going overboard tomorrow. But with this truth came the realization that no one had any idea how bad this was going to get. You nodded, before taking his arm and continuing to walk. Millions of thoughts now danced in your head. You needed to tell Kylo, you needed to some how tell him that no matter what you will always love him, and only him. Buildings were a blur as you walked past. “I wouldn’t.”

“What?” Kylo asked.

“I would never go away from you. Not from my own doing.” You told him, knowing it was the only thing you could tell him. “It would shatter me.”

Kylo said nothing else as you walked home. It was cold, the warmth from Kylo’s body made you smile to yourself. Once home you both got ready for bed, climbing in Kylo pulled you close to his chest. You started drifting to sleep easily, feeling safe and warm as you inhale his sent. Memorizing the way his breathed and how it felt to be here with him. You pushed all thoughts of leaving away until it was just him and you. Right when you were on the brink of fully slipping into unconsciousness, Kylo kissed your forehead.

“I would find you, if you left. I would never let you go.” He whispered. You sat, listening to his words, letting the silence after them soak through you. You said nothing back him, knowing there was nothing more to say. But as you finally let the darkness take over you, you prayed to whoever was listening that Kylo would stick to that.

The next day when you woke up Kylo was gone. You had a message from Rey telling you to text her when you were ready to pack and Ben had Kylo out. After texting her you were awake, she was there in 15 minutes. You moved in a cloud of heavy thought as you grabbed enough clothes for a month, knowing if it was any longer than that you could buy new clothes or have Rey get the rest of yours here. Rey shuffled around you, grabbing things you might need while you were gone, although you weren’t so sure you would ever get to come back. You caught Kylo’s sweatshirt sitting on your side of the bed. You debated taking it. It was the one you always wore, so he may not notice it’s absence.

“I’m going to start taking this stuff to the car.” Rey told you, taking two suitcases with her.

You waited until she was gone before grabbing the sweatshirt, you soaked it in Kylo’s cologne and shoved it in your last bag before following behind her. After placing them in the trunk you walked back in, not speaking to Rey still, and poured yourself a glass of wine. After pouring half the bottle in, you drank it in 4 galps. Rey waited patiently for you to finish.

“Are you ready? I need to text Ben it’s time. The car went to get them.” Rey asked softly.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You told her.

Rey nodded and pulled out her phone to text Ben. After another minute she looked back to you, starting on your second glass. “He’s bringing him back now. I’ll be two blocks down in the car.”

“Okay.” You nodded.

Rey left, and left you staring a hole in the kitchen wall. As you sat there, thinking of what to say to Kylo the anger towards Bazine boiled inside you. “AGH!” You screamed, kicking at the side of the kitchen island. “FUCKING BULLSHIT!” You cried. Stepping back from the island, you pulled a chair out from the table and sat. Drying your face and sipping from your glass. It wasn’t much longer before you heard the front door open. Trying to take a deep breath that stuck in your chest you waited for him. His foot steps were louder than usual on the floor, it felt like the longest walk to the kitchen anyone has ever taken. To make matters worse when he saw you, he lit up.

“Hi.” He smiled, coming towards you.

Before he reached for you, you put your hand out to stop him. “Kylo we need to talk.”

He stopped, stiffening where he stood. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m leaving.” You told him. He said nothing, but continued to stare at you. “I- I’ve read the case with Bazine and I just don’t think it’s going to work. I think that’s just best if I go.”

Kylo stood taller. “What are you talking about? The case is solid, you’re going to win. She’ll have to stay away.”  
  
“You think that will keep her away?” You forced a fake sarcastic laugh through the vice grip you felt in your own throat. “She will never leave me alone.”  
  
“We can leave. We can run away!” Kylo yelled now, throwing his hands around.  
  
“Kylo. You just got this job.” You looked away from him. “You’ve worked for this long before you had me around I can’t make you leave that.”  
  
Kylo stepped closer, turning your chair towards him in one motion and dropping to his knee’s between your legs. “You think I give a fuck about this job? Compared to you, I could burn down all of New York. My life could be floating through my fingers in ashes and I wouldn’t give a single fuck about it if I have you with me. Let’s just go. Please.”  
  
“I am going Kylo.” It took everything in you not to get down on the floor next to him.  
  
Thankfully he was back up on his feet in a second. “Let me go. You can stay in the house until we figure this out.”  
  
“No. Kylo.” You sighed. “I’m leaving New York.”  
  
He froze. Unmoving as he stared. “Where are you going?” You shook your head. Kylo scoffed. “What you won’t even tell me?”  
  
Taking in a dee breath you shook your head again. “You can’t come running after me.” You looked back to him. “I don’t want you too.”  
  
He stared at you with a blank expression, and nodded once before looking to the ground. His face twisted as the tears fell from his eyes while he avoided yours. You bit the inside of your cheek, forcing your own sobs down. The pain tore through your chest. Every cell in your body wanted to stop this, to tell him the truth but instead you gathered every piece of strength you had and stood from the table. You reached for his hand, bringing it from his body and turning his palm up. For the smallest moment you just felt his hand. Knowing this might be the last time you ever touch him, then you slipped the engagement ring onto his palm and closed his hand around it.  
  
“Goodbye Kylo.” Slowly you turned and walked towards the door, trying your hardest not to turn around and look at the one person in this world you needed the most right now.  
  
“I will never stop loving you.” Kylo said, and his voice cracked.  
  
Your own tears were escaping now and you had to choice but to keep your head forward, staring through blurry eyes at the door that will take you away from him. “That’s what I am the most sorry for.”  
  
Before he could say anything else you tore open the door and slammed it behind you. You weren’t halfway down the block when you heard the sound of yelling and glass shattering. Letting your feet carry you two more blocks you waited for the black car to pull up. Once you were in Rey immediately threw her arms around you as you finally broke down. You thought you heard screaming, and your mouth tasted like blood from the soreness in your throat, but Rey continued trying to sooth you through it. After a minute you registered Ben and Rey were talking to each other.  
  
“I have to answer. He’s going to hurt himself or someone if I don’t go over there.” Ben told her  
  
“We can’t we have to get on the plane now.” Rey argued. “Look at her.”  
  
“Is it him?” You squeaked out.  
  
They both got very quiet before Ben answered. “The second you got in the car he started blowing up my phone. Texts, calls and a voicemail. He doesn’t sound good.”  
  
“Go.” You said without hesitation. Ben gave you a confused look. “Go. I’ll get on the plane and the car can take me to where your parents are waiting. Just go make sure he’s okay.”  
  
“I’ll go with her.” Rey told Ben.  
  
Ben looked back to Rey, nodding once after a moment. “Driver, pull over.”  
  
“We can take you back.” You told Ben.  
  
“No. If he sees you with me this is all over. He’ll know somethings going on or worse he’ll think we actually helped you leave him and then we all lose him and he’s alone.” Ben told you.  
  
“What are you going to say?” Rey asked. “You can’t tell him.”  
  
“I won’t. I’ll just say you called Rey and you’re safe, he’ll want to know that.” Ben said, climbing out of the car. “I’ll be right behind you guys as soon as he calms down. I love you.” Ben kissed Rey then turned to you. “I love you too Y/N. You’re family. We’re going to work this out.”  
  
“Thanks Ben.” You nodded.  
  
Ben kissed Rey again before he ran back towards the house. Kylo’s house. Your house. A house you may very well might not be able to walk into again. That thought made the tears reappear, and you cried into Rey again all the way to the airport, onto the private jet, and until you passed out on the plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. I hurt myself there.  
> Can you imagine having to break up with that man? My heart can't handle that. 
> 
> I HOPE YOU'RE STILL LIKING THIS! I know my updates are crazy still timing wise but I promise I will not stop updating! 
> 
> As always tell me how you feel about this and thank you for the love and kudos and comments always. You guys make my day <3


	29. The two weeks between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You camp out at Han and Leia's with Ben and Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ED WARNING! : There are some self care issues in this chapter and eating is one of them. It is talked about a lot so please proceed with cation and be safe.

_Kylo stared at you. The love and admiration in his eyes as a man spoke softly next to you. At first you were confused, not sure what was happening, but you didn’t dare look away from Kylo. You focused on him. You wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull him to you.  
  
“I do.” Kylo suddenly said, causing you to realize the scene going on around you.  
  
You were in a small room, a court room you realized. Your soft white dress dusting just below your knee’s sent a shiver up your spine. Kylo was is a suit, looking dashing as always. There was something on your head that you couldn’t see, but when you reached up you realized it was some kind of flower crown. The lighting from the court room ceiling was harsh, but you could only focus on Kylo not truly believing he was really standing here in front of you, smiling. As if all of your fears didn’t matter because here he was happy. You relaxed, not paying attention to who was talking. _

_Ben smiled behind Kylo, and somehow you knew Rey was behind you smiling just as big. Kylo smiled even wider at you as the man began to speak again next you. Slowly, something pulled at your mind. It was as if you were pulled somewhere else. Kylo’s face was getting closer to your as if he were leaning down to kiss you, but he was fading. You could hear the claps of Ben and Rey on either side of you. But you couldn’t enjoy it, not when Kylo was so close but you were losing him. You reached out, trying to make him kiss you faster liked you’d done so many times before but your hand slipped through him like a ghost.  
  
“Please.” Kylo begged. “Don’t do this.”  
  
Kylo! I don’t want to do this. I need you.  
_  
You tried to say but nothing came out. You pushed your voice and suddenly a scream tore from your throat. You sat up in bed, sobbing and screaming. At first there was nothing as your mind struggled to rewake with the rest of your body. Once it did you heard him. Saying your name over and over. You looked at him through tear filled eyes. Not Kylo. Its Ben. You reminded yourself.  
  
“Hey. You’re okay. You’re in Kylo’s room at my parents’ house.” Ben said, rubbing your back as you hiccupped out sobs. “I know. I know.” Ben stayed like that until your cries stopped and your breathing evened out.  
  
“I had the dream again.” You told him once you’d calmed down.  
  
“The same one from the last two weeks?” He asked, shifting from next to you to face you. You only nodded, wiping the remainder of tears from your face. Ben didn’t say anything else. There was nothing else to say. Every night for the last two weeks you’d woken up screaming for Kylo. Rey or Ben would come in, soothing you until it stopped and after they left you’d lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of what Kylo was doing right now.  
  
“Okay.” Ben said, patting your leg on the bed. “I’ll see you when it’s not 3 AM.”  
  
“Ben.” You whispered, stopping him in his tracks. “Promise me this isn’t forever. Promise he won’t hate me.”  
  
Ben looked back to you, sighing. “Listen, I didn’t want to do this but I think it might help.” He told you as he pulled out his phone. “This is the voicemail I got after you left his house. I have to warn you I think it’s a little intense, but you should hear what he says.” Ben stood, waiting for you approval, and you gave him a nod to start playing it.  
  
There was rustling sound, and a loud crash like glass break. “Ben. I need you.” Kylo yelled into the phone. “She left. Out of nowhere she left. I told her I would protect her, that we could run away together and leave everything and that wasn’t enough for her to stay with me.” Kylo paused. A scream ripping through his throat. “It’s over. What am i supposed to do now? Theres no moving on from this, from her. I don’t even know where she went just that she left the city. You have to come here; you have to help me get her back.” Kylo paused. “Please Ben. Get her back to me and I’ll never ask for anything. You can have my part of the trust, my percent of mom and dad’s business if you want just.....I need her.” The line disconnected.   
  
You stared at Ben’s phone, tears falling freely again. Before you could have another full breakdown, Ben grabbed your hand. “He loves you. Kylo wants and needs you more than anyone he’s ever needed in his life. Trust me, as soon this is done and we can tell him, he’ll be on the first flight to you.”  
  
“I just wish I could talk to him.” You whispered. After you’d left Ben blocked Kylo’s contact in your phone. Since then a few random numbers had popped up but you hadn’t answered, knowing it was most likely him.  
  
“I know.” Ben said. “But you know you can’t do that.”

"I think would help both of us."

Ben shook his head. "And what if he asks questions? You think Kylo Ren will just have a causual conversation with the woman he loves, who as far as he knows, is MIA?" 

"No." You sighed. 

"Do I need to find your phone?" Ben asked. 

"What am I a hostage now?" You half laughed. 

"No but you're unstable." Ben joked back.

“I know.” You nodded, laying back down on the pillows. "I promise I won't call him." 

Ben made a sound of acknowledgement before left, shutting the door softly behind him. Once again you were left lying in bed, staring at the ceiling until sunlight engulfed the room completely. When you finally decided to get out of bed you showered, pulled on leggings and a hoodie before heading down to the kitchen.  
  
“Morning.” Han greeted you when you came in.  
  
“Good morning.” You gave him a small smile.  
  
Han slowly drank his coffee as he watched you pour your own. “How are you holdin’ up, kid?”  
  
You shrugged, taking a sip from your mug. “As well as I can be.”  
  
Han nodded in understanding. “Well hopefully this will all be over quickly.”  
  
“Not quick enough.” You mumbled.  
  
“Look who it is!” Rey said, walking into the kitchen.  
  
“Hey Rey.”  
  
“Someone’s chipper this morning.” Han commented, causing you to smirk.  
  
“Why yes I am Han, because I am taking a certain someone shopping!” Rey told you both.  
  
You looked between her and Han, who looked as shocked as you felt. “Rey. I can’t say I’m really in the mood for shopping.”  
  
“Well, you’re never in the mood for anything, but I can’t let you just sitting here all day doing nothing.” Rey said, giving you a soft smile. “Ben will call us if there’s any update with the lawyers.”

“Will he though?” You asked bluntly.

“What do you mean?” Han questioned.

“I mean, it’s been two weeks and I haven’t been told a single thing.” You mumbled.

Han set down his cup, walking over to you. “Listen, I know it’s hard but you’re doing the right thing here.” He put his arm around your shoulder. “No just for Kylo but for all of us, and I hope you know how much we apricate it. As soon as they can get a clear on whatever information she’s holding we’ll have Kylo here.”

You kept your eyes down, staring holes into your coffee cup, you offered them a nod.

“Okay then, lets brush your hair and go!” Rey said with a forced smile.

You looked up to her then. “I’m already ready.”

She gave you a side glance. “Let’s just go brush your hair one more time.”

You looked at her, then to Han. “That bad?”

Han didn’t respond, he simply picked up his coffee cup and made his way to the living room. “Have fun girls!” He called over his shoulder.

Rey stood, waiting for you to finish your coffee. When you did you ran back to Kylo’s room and looked in the mirror, fully for the first time in two weeks. Rey was right, your hair was knotted, but more than that your skin was slightly paler and the dark circles under your eyes were deep. You even looked thinner in your face from the lack of meals you’ve had, running on sadness and coffee was not doing you well. “Shit. I do need out of the house.”  
  
The drive to the town was short, but the shops were cute. Rey made you buy several new outfits and by the time you sat down to eat lunch you were feeling somewhat better. The deep pit in your stomach had lightened slightly, but when the waitress came to take your order you declined.

“Can you give us some more time.” Rey smiled sweetly at the young waitress. Once she nodded and left Rey turned back. “You have to eat.”

“Rey I’m just not hungry.” You shrugged.

“Which would be fine except I’ve only seen you eat a hand full of times in the last two weeks.”

You sighed, sitting back in your chair. “I can’t.”

“You can’t?” Rey questioned, raising her eyebrow at you.

“I’m to stressed, it makes me feel sick to eat.” You explained.

Rey chewed the inside of her check for a second. “Well you have to try something, even if it’s soup or mash potatoes. You can’t just not eat.” Rey tried, but you said nothing. “If he saw you like this Kylo would flip and you know it.”

You’re not sure if it was something in your brain that was trigger by hearing that, but suddenly your stomach growled. “Fine.” You told her.

“Thank you.” Rey smiled, waving the waitress that you were ready when she was. Slowly you ate some soup and Rey waited when you took longer than she did with her burger and fries. But the thought of eating any faster started to turn your stomach.

“So.” Rey started slowly. “Have you thought about what you’ll do when all this was over?”

“What do you mean?” You asked her, slowly spooning the soup into your mouth.

“Well, when this is over do you really want to go back to New York? Do you think both of you would be happy somewhere else?” She shrugged.

“I haven’t thought about it, but no I don’t think I would go back to New York. I guess my job is technically gone.” You said, realizing the mess you left. “I would miss my friends, but I could visit them or vice versa. But Kylo just got that job.” Rey nodded, and looked down to her plate but you could tell there was something else on her mind. “Spit it out Rey.”

She looked up at you surprised for a second but shook her head. “No, it’s nothing.”

You sighed, setting down your spoon. “Just tell me.”

“Well, I would just wondering if maybe you thought about what were to happen if Kylo wasn’t around? If after all this you decided that wasn’t the life you want.” Rey said shyly.

You knew where she was coming from. She was concerned about you, but something in her question made your blood boil. You could feel the heat slowly taking over your face as you stared at her. “There is nothing without him.” You said flatly.

“Okay, okay.” Rey put her hands up. “Then I just think maybe you both would be happier outside of New York.”

“Let’s just get Kylo back into my life before we start thinking about anything after that.” You said.

Rey nodded. “You’re right, I apologize.”

You stared at Rey, wanting to stay mad at her but knowing it was misplaced anger, you nodded to her. “Let’s go.”

“What about the rest of your soup?” Rey asked, eyeing your half-eaten bowl.

“I’ll take it to go.”

The ride back was mostly silent, except for a few comments on the outfits either of you had bought. As soon as you returned to the house you slipped upstairs to throw on sweats and Kylo’s sweatshirt. Before heading back down to everyone in the living room. You heard them talking about him as you made your way down the stairs, so you slowed your steps to quiet them.

“We have to do this faster. He’s breaking down.” Ben told them.

“Can’t we just invite him here? Tell him to come and then explain everything once he’s here?” Han questioned.

“He’ll flip when he knows we’ve known where she’s been the whole time.” Ben explained.

“He calls me every night to ask if I’ve heard from her.” Rey said.

“Plus we don’t know if him leaving New York will startle Bazine.” Leia added.

You could hear Han pacing the floor now. “There has to be away. The two of them are falling apart.”

“She’s barley eating.” Rey told them.

“I saw Kylo three day’s ago on Facetime, he’s not much better. Poor guy looks homeless.” Ben commented.

“The superintendent called to ask if Kylo was okay, apparently he’d been out sick since the day she left.” Leia sighed.

Your stomach dropped. You had a feeling Kylo wasn’t doing well, but you figured he’d have at least kept himself busy with work. Now knowing he was doing just as bad put a new knot in your stomach, and your soup threatened to show itself again.

There was quiet from the living room before Han spoke again. “He’s going to send a search party out to find her soon enough.”

“I know.” Ben said.

“So we have to hurry this up.” Han added.

“What are the lawyers saying sweetheart?” Leia asked Ben.

“They can’t find a thing. Since you two can’t think of anything that’s a dead end.”

“So she has nothing then?” Rey questioned.

“She still could.” Ben answered, he sounded annoyed at the repeated conversation.

“Ben.” Leia started but he quickly cut her off.

“No. No. We’re not talking about this again.”

“Ben, look at your brother. Look at her.” Han spoke softly.

“You don’t think it’s hard for me to watch?” Ben asked them. “It kills me to see them this way but you two are almost retired. This won’t affect you very much. But Me? Rey? Our future children? What about them? What if she has something about Kylo? Those years he was gone we kept tabs on him, but we weren’t with him every day, who knows what he did.” Ben was standing now, walking towards the stairs but you couldn’t get your feet to move. “I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing this for the four of us. If it ruins our lives, I promise you we’ll have more than two adults acting like emo teens on our hands.” Ben finished.

As he did he came around the corner, seeing you standing there for the first time. You didn’t realize you were crying at first but the look on Ben’s face made you aware. “Hey no. I didn’t mean.” Ben tried. At the sound of him talking to you everyone was on their feet.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s just tired.” Rey tried.

“I think I should go.” You told them, turning to walk upstairs.

“No, kid don’t do that. Come on now.” Han said following after you.

“Please, Listening I was just-“ Ben tried but you spun on him on the top step.

“No.” You pointed your finger at him. “This emo teen doesn’t want to hear anything from you.” You told him, starting down the hallway to Kylo’s room. Ben softly called your name when you reached the hall to the door and you turned again. “No.” You spat. “Let’s cut of your communication to Rey for two weeks out of nowhere and see how you react.”

Ben grabbed your shoulders gently, keeping you from marching away. “I’m an ass.” He said. “You know I’m an ass, you have every right to be depressed he’s gone, and pissed at me for not having answers.” He paused, waiting for you to speak but you only blew air harshly though your nose. “It won’t be much longer I swear.” 

“How could you possibly know that?” You snapped at him.

Ben straighten himself, looking to Han who was next to the both of you, looking ready to jump in to break up a fight. “Because I just do.”

You looked at Ben, waiting for more but he said nothing else. Looking to Han you could tell he had nothing else either. Stepping back from both of them you shook your head. “Not good enough.”

Before either of them could say anything else you sprinted to Kylo’s room, throwing the door shut and locking it. Without hesitation you ripped your suitcase from the closet and threw it on the bed. You opened the drawers on the dresser to throw your clothes in unorganized. More tears stained your shirt as you worked. It wasn’t until you heard a buzzing that realized your cell phone was ringing. You stopped and looked down at the phone placed on your nightstand. It wasn’t a number you recognized. _Kylo_. Against your better judgement you grabbed the phone. Answering it you brought it to your ear but said nothing. There was no sound on the other side, not even his breathing. It was quiet, and you stayed on the phone for what felt like forever listening to the quiet. Right before you were about to hang up a voice came through. Deep, and groggy sounding.  
  
“You answered.”  
  
It was him. Of course, it was. You knew when you answered it would be but hearing his voice for the first time in two weeks sent shocks to your heart. You couldn’t speak. Your mouth was suddenly dry, and your throat was sand paper.

"How are you?" He asked, but still you couldn't speak. After a long silence he spoke again. “You don’t have to say anything.” He told you. “Just listen to me.” You nodded to nothing and waited for him to go on. “I know that it’s scary with Bazine. I know that it’s hard. But I will come to you. I will make this right. I’ll hide with you. I will keep you safe. I love you.”  
  
Kylo paused, but you still couldn’t speak. “You have to tell me if you still love me.”  
  
“Yes.” You breathed out before you even knew you spoke.  
  
“Then tell me where you are baby.” Kylo cooed, but it was more of a plea.  
  
“I can’t.” You told him, breaking both your hearts all over again.  
  
“No.” Kylo yelled, and slammed his fist on something. “Don’t do this.”  
  
“I’m so sorry. I don’t want this, but you have no idea how big this is.” You needed him to understand, begged him to understand.  
  
Kylo took several deep breaths before he spoke again. “I love you. Tell me where you are. I want to help you. I need to see you.”  
  
You paused. You knew you couldn’t do this. You couldn’t tell him right now where you were. No matter how mad you were at Ben you couldn’t risk everything. You couldn’t make the last two weeks been all for nothing. But regardless you decided right then you were done with Ben not telling you anything. You had no idea if you were closer or farther from getting back to Kylo and you needed to know.  
  
“Kylo.” You said, and you heard him shift. “I love you.” With that you ended the call, not giving him a chance to say anything else. Tossing the phone on the bed you listened to it ring as you marched into the hallways. In no time you were down the stairs, sprinting back into the living room. Rey looked at you shocked.  
  
“Where’s Ben?” You asked her.   
  
“He’s in the kitchen but listen to me-“ Rey tried, but you walked past her, ignoring whatever else she was saying as you walking through the kitchen door. Your vision was blurry, as you watched Ben pace.  
  
“Ben.” You said, loud enough to stop him in his tracks. “I have to tell him.”   
  
Ben’s eyes went wide, and he slowly turned towards you. Once he did you saw the phone pressed to his ear. You took a step back, knocking into Rey and she steadied you.  
  
Ben sighed, Dragging his hand over his face. “Yes.” He said into the phone. The was a paused before he pulled back his phone to look at it before looking to you. “Well. You told him.”  
  
“What just happened?” Rey asked.  
  
“She answered her phone.” Ben told her.  
  
“What?!” Rey asked you.  
  
“But I didn’t tell him!” You told them.  
  
“You didn’t have too. He called me freaking out that you’re in trouble and he just heard you.” Ben explained.  
  
“So now what?” Rey questioned.  
  
Ben shrugged his shoulders. “Now we wait.”  
  
“For what?” You asked.  
  
Ben looked at Rey then back to you. “For Kylo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELP! Kylo being gone? It never last long here ahhaha, Kylo's coming and everyone's in trouble. But not before something else but don't worry our man will be back next chapter. 
> 
> Look at me updating so soon? Who'd have thought lol.  
> I'll be updated How to solve a murder and fall in love without really trying on Friday so good over and read that if you haven't :) 
> 
> TELL ME OUR THOUGHTS! 
> 
> and as always thank you for the love and comments. They provide the serotonin my brain won't ;) lol  
> love you <3


	30. Finding you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo POV:
> 
> WARNINGS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Talks of Y/Ns attack from earlier in the story are brought up. I don’t want to give much away but also please read with caution.

The only thing Kylo Ren could remember was ringing. The ringing in his ears was so loud as you slammed the door and bolted down the street. His vision blurred and the chair in front of him where you had been sitting seconds ago was empty. He only half remembers picking up the chair and throwing it across the room. His sore throat the only reminder of the screams and growls that tore from him as he continued taking his anger out on everything around him.  
  
He didn’t stop when he had splinters in his hands from the broken wood, or when glass cracked under his feet. He didn’t even stop when Ben entered the house calling out to him, pleading him to stop. No, the only thing that stopped Kylo Ren from his blind rage was standing in front of his bookshelf, about to throw every last limited edition and first copy from it, when a yellow vase made him pause.  
  
Your yellow vase, or at least the one he’d given you to replace the yellow vase, that he had to replace from Bazine, that he replaced from the one he’d broken in your apartment the night you got together. In the blink of an eye almost a year flashed by Kylo. 10 months with you. months of fighting himself to let you in, months of fighting to keep other people out, months of fighting to keep you with him all leading to now... where you’re just gone.  
  
The realization of this hit Kylo like a brick wall. He stopped yelling and breaking things as he stared at your yellow vase. His chest felt like it was cracked in half and he wasn’t aware that he was falling on his knee’s until they hit the floor. A sob ripped through him as he came down on his hands.  
  
“She’s gone.” He breathed out.  
  
“I know.” Ben told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t we get a drink?”  
  
Kylo sat there, hunched over on his hands and knees steadying himself for only a second longer before nodding to Ben. Ben quickly made his way to the kitchen as Kylo struggled slightly to stand and sit on the couch. Looking around at his destruction Kylo groaned, placing his head in his hands.  
  
“I’d ask if you want to watch TV, but it seems it’s in two.” Ben commented, trying to lighten his brother’s mood.  
  
Kylo ignored his joke, shaking his head to himself. “I can’t believe she’s gone.”  
  
Ben swallowed hard, setting down Kylo’s glass in front of him. “She’ll come back.”  
  
“You don’t know that.”  
  
“Kylo, that girl loves you.”  
  
“Not anymore.” He whispered.  
  
“Okay. Cut that shit.” Ben told him bluntly, causing Kylo to finally look at him. “You’re Kylo Ren. More than that, you’re a Solo and in my whole life I’ve never seen you take anything lying down. Even when we were kids and things were bad you always had a way to handle it.”  
  
Kylo stared at Ben, feeling the pain in his chest lighten a little. “So, what is your suggestion.”  
  
“Use that big brain of yours and figure out what happened.” Ben told him, hoping deep down he could guide his brother to the truth without actually doing so.  
  
Kylo only turned back to stare at the wall, slowly sipping his bourbon. His mind raced over every interaction in the last week he’d had with you, searching for a answer.  
  
Ben watched as his brother spiraled more and more. He knew he had to stop it, but the how was lost on him. Even more he knew you and Rey were waiting for him at the airport, a fact that Kylo couldn’t find out.   
  
“Kylo.” Ben finally spoke. “You need to get this together and fight for what you want.”  
  
“I don’t even know where she is.” Kylo told him.  
  
Ben sighed. “You’ll figure it out.” Standing he handed Kylo the last of his own drink. “I have to catch a flight but call me if you need to talk.”  
  
Kylo gave his brother a nod. Watching him leave. But as Ben left, a new feeling started in Kylo chest. _Determination_.  
  
The next couple of days felt the same as the last. Kylo would get up, get dressed, go to work, make up an excuse to where you were (family emergency he told people) then he’d spend the rest of the day between starring at the wall until he went home and attempted to call you. Night after night until somehow a week had gone by. The best and worst thing about time is that it never stops.

  
Kylo was slowly going mad inside the empty house to the point where he found himself calling his father, hoping he had some kind of advice that could make this better.

“Hey kid.” Han answered.

“Hey Dad.”

Han adjusted his phone. “These damn video calls, I always look so old.”

Kylo chuckled. “That’s because you are.”

“Watch it.” Han warned him. “How ya holding up?”

Kylo laughed and groaned all at once. “Not well Dad.”

“I know.” Han nodded .

“I just want her back.” Kylo whispered.

“You will kid, that girl loves you. You know she’s not gone forever.”

Kylo shook his head. “We don’t know that.”

“I do.” Han corrected him. “Hey listen, I have to get back to work but I’ll call you later okay?”

“Okay. Thanks.” Kylo half smiled as he hung up.

Kylo tried his mom later in evening but she didn’t answer. That meant one last person to talk to too. Rey. Kylo had been avoiding Rey, knowing that you’d probably spoken to her or worse, you hadn’t. Either way he didn’t want to put Rey in the middle of it, you guys were friends. Still Kylo had to know if you were okay, or at least breathing.

“Rey.” Kylo said, his voice low as soon as she answered  
  
“How are you?” Rey asked, her voice sugar.  
  
Kylo knew better. “You’ve talk to her.”  
  
There was a pause, a pause long enough to answer for her. “Kylo i don’t want -“  
  
Kylo cut her off. “I’m not putting you in the middle. I’ll figure out where she is on my own. I just need to know she’s safe.”  
  
“Oh.” Rey said, shocked by his lack of prodding. “She’s safe.”  
  
Kylo sighed, leaning back in his chair. “Good. Good.”  
  
Rey paused, chewing the inside of her cheek nervously. “Kylo.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Ben said you weren’t handling this well.”  
  
Kylo laughed then, light at first but soon he was in full blown hysterics. “How am i supposed to handle it?”  
  
“That’s not how I meant it.” Rey quickly told him, panicking slightly at his manic laughing. “She’s not either i just-“  
  
“What?” Kylo questioned.  
  
“No, I just meant it’s hard for both of you all of this.” Rey tried to back petal.  
  
“All of what? Rey. If you know something i need you to tell me.” He demanded.  
  
“Kylo i-“  
  
“Rey. If she’s upset i need to talk to her, to help her.” Kylo tried to push.  
  
There was a pause and for a second hope lingered in the air. Hope that Rey might tell him what he wanted to know, what he needed to know. But it all came crashing down around him so quickly before he could even blink.  
  
“I’m sorry, I have to go.” Rey told him, ending the call.  
  
Kylo screamed, standing from his chair and pacing the room. Rey knew more then she let on, he knew that. But if Rey knew that meant Ben did too. What they knew was still in question, but it was a question Kylo was hopefully about to find out.  
  
Saturday as Kylo sat in his empty kitchen, drinking crap coffee, a terrible thought popped into his head. _Cassian_. Could it be possible for Cassian to have done something to you to make you leave? Or worse, could you have done something with Cassian. No, you wouldn’t do that. Kylo knew you wouldn’t but yet that little idea ate away at him, like a bug in his brain until it started suffocating him. It pulled him down further and further under the water that was his worry. So much so that Wednesday after work he found himself sitting back in the PI’s office, trying to figure out how to find Cassian, and you.

“Well Mr. Ren, if she’s used her credit card anywhere, applied for a loan or had her ID scanned over the last week it shouldn’t be to hard to find out where she’s gone.” The PI told him, sitting at her desk across from him.

Kylo nodded. “And Cassian?”

“We’ve still been trying to keeping tabs on him since your girlfriends-“

“Fiancé.” Kylo almost spat when he corrected her.

“Fiancé.” Cara agreed. “Since her case with Bazine was still open we thought it best to keep them both in our eye.”

“And?” he questioned.

“And we haven’t seen him more than once.” Cara confirmed. “He’s been evading police since the search started. But we can assure you he’s not with her.”

Kylo felt that bug in his brain die instantly, and he sucked in air like he just reached the surface. You weren’t with Cassian. “Okay.” He let out a breath. “Okay. So, I need to find Cassian.”

“I don’t know if that such a good idea, you should talk to your lawyers first. You still have a case against him.” Cara reminded him.

Of course. Kylo had forgotten about the pile of legal documents hidden in his work desk drawer. Tucked away from you so that you wouldn’t know the real amount of hurt he and both lawyers were giving Cassian. Not that he didn’t deserve it after what he had done to you, but you shouldn’t have to hear about him. Not while everything else was going on.

Kylo stood from the chair he was sitting in. “Okay. I will, and then I’ll call you.”

Cara nodded, watching as Kylo headed for the door. “Kylo.” She called, making him to turn back. “There’s one more thing before you leave.” Cara pursed her lips, pulling a folder from her desk drawer. “It’s Bazine, she’s been acting strange.”

“This is news?” Kylo quirked an eyebrow.

Cara gave him a half smile. “No, this is new. Remember how we used an app on your phone to block her number? Well she hasn’t called it in a week and a half. She hasn’t been seen around, she started a new job and seems to be acting…. almost normal.” Kylo hummed at her, taking the folder. “You said Y/N left Friday?” Cara asked.

“This Friday will be two weeks.” He told her.

“Weird timing, don’t you think?”

Kylo stared down at the folder as if he could see through it, before he looked back to Cara. “I’ll be in touch.”

With that Kylo raced out the door, quickly finding his phone and dialing for the lawyers. “Maul. It’s Ren. I need you to get Cassian to meet with me.”

  
“I don’t think that’s a great idea Ren.” Maul sounded almost annoyed, but Kylo couldn’t care less.

“We can clean it up later. I need to speak with him.”

Maul huffed lightly. “Well there’s no guarantee he’ll even talk to you.”

Kylo clicked his tongue, thinking hard about his next words. “Tell him I’ll consider dropping the charges if he meets with me and gives me the information that I want.”

“And what information would that be?” Maul asked.

“That’s between Cassian and myself. Just make the offer.” Kylo barked.

“And you’re sure about that offer?”

“No Maul, but I have a plan.” Kylo told him before hanging up.

Although deep down Kylo wasn’t so sure it was the best idea, it was all he had to go off of right now. It was as close to you as he had been in 12 days and he wasn’t letting it go. Much to his own surprise, Cassian agreed to meet with him Friday morning. The night before he called Ben, hoping he could fly in to come with him but Ben dodged it, saying that he had to much work to leave right now, but he’d be down next week.

So, Friday afternoon Kylo made his way to a coffee shop to meet with Cassian on his own. HE spotted him instantly inside the empty shop and beelined for him, sitting at the table before Cassian realized he was even there. Much to Kylo’s amusement Cassian jumped slightly when he looked up to Kylo sitting across from him.

  
“Do you always do that?” Cassian asked. Kylo cocked his head at him in question. “Sneak up on people.”

“Well, do you always threaten peoples loved ones to leave them?” Kylo asked lowly.

  
Cassian laughed, shaking his head. “I think, Mr. Ren, you have the right idea, just the wrong person.”

“Explain.” Kylo demanded.  
  
“You don’t find it a little strange, your girlfriend-“  
  
“Fiancé.” Kylo corrected.  
  
Cassian rolled his eyes. “She disappears and suddenly Bazine has left you alone?”  
  
Kylo sat back, staring through Cassian. “What do you know.”  
  
Cassian laughed. “I know nothing, honest. Just what I was aloud to know from your lawyer. I was curious as to why you wanted to meet with me though but it makes sense. I haven’t spoken to Bazine. But I do know her well, and your fiancé for that matter.”  
  
“Continue.”  
  
“Your fiancé would do anything to protect you or people around the two of you. That’s just how she is when she loves someone But Bazine, she’s more of a me or no one else kind of person.” Cassian shrugged. “So, Y/N either really left you or...”  
  
“Or Bazine has something that could hurt me.”  
  
“Now you’re catching on.” Cassian smiled a smug smile that enraged Kylo.  
  
Kylo looked down at the table, thinking for a moment. “And you don’t know where Bazine is?”  
  
“I might have an idea.”  
  
Kylo stared at him, waiting. Until he realized. “What do you want.”  
  
Cassian laughed. “Nothing gets past you, Mr. Ren.”

“So?”

“There was talks about dropping my charges?” Cassian asked.

“It was considered to get you to come.”

“So, I want those dropped.” Cassian told him, sipping his coffee.

Kylo stared at him, as a slow smile creeped onto his face. “No.”

Cassian nearly spat out his coffee, the look of shock on his face was unmatched. “What? But I was told-“

“You couldn’t actually think that was going to happen. You drugged and attacked a woman; the woman I love may I add.”

“Then I won’t tell you.” Cassian said.

Kylo shrugged. “You don’t have too. You can tell them.” Kylo pointed his thumb behind him at the shop doors to two police officers waiting outside for him.

“No.” Cassian shook his head, looking around for a second exit.

“Yes.” Kylo growled, standing and throwing the table over to grab Cassian by his shirt collar. “You can’t run anymore Cassian.”

At the scene unfolding in front of them the officers ran through the doors but Kylo was so focused on Cassian he barley noticed them. Cassian’s smile slowly came back to his face as he looked Kylo in the eyes.

“Feeling her lips against mine one last time was worth it.” Cassian told him.

Before anyone could stop him Kylo pulled his fist back, bringing it forward to hit Cassian square in the nose. Immediately as he connected Cassian yelled out in pain and the officers pried Kylo off of him, putting Cassian in hand cuffs and escorting him out as the blood dripped from his face.

Maul appeared behind Kylo, handing him a handkerchief to wipe the blood off his knuckles. “Did you get what you wanted?”

“I got enough.” Kylo told him.

Maul nodded. “I’ll see to it that you get a copy of his arrest report.”   
  
  
Kylo nodded, thanking him for the help and seeing himself out of the coffee shop. Walking past the cop car Cassian spit comments at him from the back seat as the officers chatted outside the car, thanking Kylo for his help. But he paid neither of them any mind. On a mission of his own to get home with the information that he had and form a plan. But as he sat at his desk, staring down at the wood trying to think of what comes next, he couldn’t help but only think of you.

He let his mind wonder to what you might be doing, if you were cooking or if you were out right now, smiling and laughing. But then Rey’s voice stopped him. “She isn’t either.” You couldn’t be out having fun right now, maybe you were in the same spot as Kylo. Sitting somewhere, staring into nothing and thinking of him. With these new thoughts Kylo found his phone and stared at your contact. Kylo held his breath for the 100th time that week as the phone dialed. Ringing in his ear, reminding him of the night you left. If Kylo concentrated hard enough he could see your face stand there. Hear your voice speaking to him. Only this time he could hear you.  
  
_Wait_. He could really hear you.

Kylo still held his breath as he listened to you breathe in and out, ever so quickly. To quickly as if you were scared or crying. His heart ached at the thought of your tears, but soon he realized he had been quiet for to long. “You answered.” He finally spoke, his own tears evident in his voice. “How are you.” He asked. You still didn’t speak, there was nothing but the sound of your breathing in his ear. His heart was breaking all over again. He needed to hear you, for you to tell him something, anything. Even it was just that he should stop calling. He waited as long as he could before he spoke again.

“You don’t have to say anything, just listen to me.” He begged you. He paused to let you answer but nothing came. Still Kylo had a feeling you wanted him to go on. “I know it’s scary with Bazine. I know that it’s hard. But I’ll come with you. I’ll make this right. I’ll hide with you. I will keep you safe. I love you.” Kylo emphasized every word, hoping it would change your mind. Still you didn’t speak, and Kylo could feel the tears coming back to his eyes. He needed to know where you stood and he needed to know now before you hung up. “You have to tell me if you still love me.”

What came next was something Kylo had only dreamed of every night for the last two weeks. The most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. Your voice, coming out in a single breath. “Yes.”

The weight in Kylo’s chest burst completely like a balloon as the tears fell from his eyes. “Then you have to tell me where you are baby.”

“I can’t.” You said.

Your voice sounded tight, telling Kylo he was right about the crying but with two little words Kylo’s anger flared again. Being so close and yet so far was getting old for him. “No!” He yelled, slamming his free hand down on his desk. “Don’t do this.” He begged.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want this, but you have no idea how big this is.” You were wanting him to understand something, Kylo could tell and he wanted to understand but he couldn’t.

He took several deep breaths before he spoke again. “I love you. Tell me where you are. I want to help you. I need to see you.”  
There was a long silence, and every one that passed Kylo could hear his heart in his ears.

“Kylo.” You said, and Kylo shifted in his chair, waiting for you to tell him. “I love you.” Was all you offered before the call ended.

“NO!” Kylo screamed. “Fucking hell.” He stood, wanting to break something, to break everything. But then he knew who he needed to call. Ben. He scrolled to his contact with lighting speed and waited for him to pick up.

“Hey man.” Ben answered. He sounded exhausted, and annoyed but Kylo barley noticed.

“Ben. She answered.”

Ben paused, and Kylo could hear him stand. “Wait what.”

“She answered her phone, and I heard her voice. She still won’t tell me where she is but I think she’s in danger. She sounds like she was still crying and I asked if she still loved me. She said she did but she wouldn’t let me come to her. She has to be in danger, why else would she do that? You have to help me.”

There was a pause on Ben’s end, and Kylo waited for Ben to answer but what came through the phone wasn’t Ben’s voice at all.

“Ben, I have to tell him.”  
  
That was it. That was all it took for Kylo to put every piece of the puzzle together. Why Ben wouldn’t come back to New York while Kylo was breaking down, what Rey had been hiding during their phone call, Why his dad had been so vague when they spoke and most importantly why his mother hadn’t been answering his calls, she couldn’t keep anything from him.

_You were with them all._

“Are you at mom and dads.” Kylo asked bluntly.

Ben sighed. “Yes.”

Kylo didn’t need to know anymore as he hung up. He stood, grabbing his keys and wallet and he started to the car, not bothering to pack a bag. He barley remembered his race to the airport but when he got there, he found the first flight to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WAS NERVOUS FOR THIS ONE. 
> 
> I know some people have said they liked how I wrote Kylo's last POV so I hope this is just as well, but let me know.  
> Next chapter is all angry boy.
> 
> Update for anyone who cares:  
> Thank you all for being so patient with updates as I have said I am currently working two jobs and also we are in the process of moving so that's stressful. We did get a new couch tho so.. fun? hahaha. Please let me know if you like where this is going we have about 10-15 more chapters left!
> 
> Update on the FBI AU FIC. I am writing today and tomorrow as is my only time to write so if it's not up tomorrow night it will be up next Sunday ! :)


	31. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW? I'm not sure if it needs one but talks of cheating.

Shortly after Kylo hung up on Ben, and everyone argued the best way to go about Kylo’s arrival, you had gone up to bed to lay down. The emotional exhaustion and two weeks of nightmares was weighing on you. It felt like you weren’t asleep more than 30 minutes when a crash stirred you from your sleep. There was silence following and you started to assume you dreamt it. But when yelling followed you knew you hadn’t. It took a moment for your sleep fogged brain to remember the events of your life earlier but when you heard Kylo yelling everything hit you at once. Kylo.

Hopping out of bed you grabbed his sweatshirt you’d been wearing earlier and pulled in on, knowing you’d fallen asleep in only a t-shirt and workout shorts. You raced through the hall to the top of the staircase and there he was, holding Ben up against the wall by his shirt. Your mind raced seeing him for the first time in two weeks, your mouth ran dry as you watched him. It was only then that you realized the scene playing out in front of you. Kylo was rabid, spit flying as he screamed in Ben’s face while he held him against the wall. Ben was trying to talk over Kylo while Han attempted to pry Kylo off of Ben. Rey screamed over all of them at Kylo, cursing at him.

“You knew how bad I was, and she was here the whole time.” Kylo growled.

“I couldn’t tell you Kylo!” Ben screamed back.

Rey smacked Kylo’s arms rapidly. “Kylo let him down!”

“Why couldn’t you tell me?” Kylo yelled back, ignoring Rey.

Han, still trying to pull Kylo’s hands off shook his head. “Kylo let us explain it to you.”

“No. I don’t want to hear from any of you.”

“Then go talk to her!” Ben pleaded.

“Don’t talk about her. Don’t say her fucking name. Don’t tell me what to do with her. You’ve done enough!” Kylo told him.

“He did this for her! And you!” Rey told Kylo.

Kylo scoffed. “Bullshit.”

The yelling continued. All four of them screaming at each other, mostly at Kylo, and you knew you needed to do something, anything to make him stop but your brain couldn’t function. When you spoke his name it was so soft you barley even heard it yourself, but the second time you spoke everyone froze in place. Ben was panting as he turned to look at you, followed by Rey who looked between you and Kylo frantically. Han however never took his eyes off Kylo. Kylo himself surprised you the most, he froze but he didn’t turn to look at you at first. He stayed staring hole into Ben’s skull, even when Ben was looking at you, Kylo didn’t move a muscle for what could have been a hundred years to you. Ever so slowly his head turned, looking up the steps to where you were. After that it was as if time sped up. Ben was dropped on the floor with a soft thud, and Kylo look two steps towards the bottom of stairs but stopped to stare at you longer. It was as if he was looking through you, as if he didn’t believe you were here.

When you spoke his name a second time, his eyes refocused on you and he took the stairs two at time on his way to you. You stepped back slightly, giving him room to come up and he stopped directly in front of you, chest to chest. His eyes were wild looking down at you. You searched those eyes, trying to find something that would indicate his next move.

“Did you mean it?” He asked quietly. Surprised and confused you cocked your head slightly to the side. “When you said you still loved me, did you mean it?”

“Yes.” You told him, nodding to him as fast as you could.

That was all it took for Kylo to break completely. He cupped the back of your head in his hand and before you could blink his lips were on you, Aggressive and needy. You could only respond by melting into him, finally feeling safe for the first time in weeks. Tears streamed down your face at the relief, and all you could hear, or feel was him. Consuming you, filling you up until you were pouring out just Kylo. It was as if his kiss was breathing life back into you. It was completely perfect until the sound of clapping came from the bottom of the stairs.

Pulling apart slowly Kylo huffed as he turned to look at his brother. “Do you have a death wish?”

Ben shook his head. “This is all very sweet, but you were about to murder me 5 seconds ago and I think we need to get back to that.”

“Your asking me to murder you?” Kylo smirked.

“I think he meant the part about why everyone had to lie to you.” Rey chimed in before Ben could retort.

Kylo’s smirked faded as his face hardened. “Yes. Let’s talk about that.” 

Kylo marched back down the stairs without giving you another look. Trailing behind you followed him into the living room. You looked around, unsure whether you should sit next to Kylo on the couch, if he’d even want you to, but it was short lived when he gave the seat next to him a light pat. As everyone else shuffled into the living room, Kylo pulled you tighter into his side.

“Where should we start?” Ben asked, looking around.

“Maybe tell me what started this mess.” Kylo told him. Everyone looked to you at the same time, causing Kylo to as well.

“Bazine.” Was all you could get out, looking at a spot on the wall to avoid everyone’s eyes.

“What did she do?” Kylo asked, he’s voice was soft as if you might fall apart on him or run away again.

Taking a deep breath, you looked over to him. “She came into my classroom. She told me she has information that could take your family and you down if I didn’t leave you. She said…” You trailed off, swallowing down air hard. “She said if I told you anything, she’d release it.”

Kylo was breathing harder now, but his hands found yours in your lap. “Okay.” He nodded.

“Okay?” You questioned.

“Okay. You were trying to protect me, I get that. I’m not saying I’m happy, but I understand.” He told you, giving your hands a squeeze. “So, what’s the information she had?”

You shook your head, willing your tears to stay in your eyes. “I don’t know she wouldn’t tell me.”

“I think I know.” Han said, turning every eye to him.

“You do?” Ben questioned.

“Han.” Leia said softly.

“No, honey it’s okay. I think it’s better if they knew.”

Rey looked around, as confused as you. “What’s happening.”

“I long time ago, before you boys were born, your mother and I were having trouble. We were working a lot, barley saw each other.” Han paused looking over to Leia. “There was another woman.”

“What?” Kylo asked flatly.

“Kylo.” Leia warned.

Han put his hands up. “No, it’s okay. It’s okay to be upset. You love your mother and what it did was unacceptable, and unforgiveable, but still your mother choose to forgive me.” 

You looked to Leia, expecting to see pain or anger at the mention of this time in their lives but instead you saw love. Love poured from her eyes as she watched Han speak.

“That still doesn’t explain why Bazine would know that.” Rey said.

“The woman that I was with, when I broke it off to stay with Leia, she was furious. But eventually I know she started dating a man we worked with, Delphia Kloda. It wasn’t long until they were married and right before they moved to switch jobs, they adopted a baby girl.” Han explained.

There was silence through the room, everyone waiting for him to continue but it was Kylo who spoke. “Bazine was adopted. She had mentioned it to me while was my assistant.”

“But Bazine’s last name isn’t the same as them.” Ben stated.

“No, she goes by her mothers last name.” Leia told him.

“That still doesn’t make any sense as to why she would do all of this. If it was money or something I could understand but just to make sure Kylo doesn’t continue his relationship with me, that doesn’t add up.” You told them.

“Bazine’s mother passed 7 years ago, she a teenager when it happened. That’s all the information I have.” Han told you.

“So, now what?” Kylo asked.

“I think there’s only one way to end this.” Leia said, looking to Kylo. “I think you’ll need to speak with this woman.”

“What? No. That’s an awful idea.” Ben interjected. “What she tells everyone what she knows.”

“Then let her.” Han said. “We’ve accepted it happened, we worked past it and we built an amazing life together kid. She can’t break us.”

“That still leaves the fact I have nothing to say to her.” Kylo told them.

“Fine. We’ll call the lawyers and get them to talk to her. But in the meantime you should stay here.” Leia told him.

“I planned on it.” Kylo confirmed.

Rey laughed. “Is that why you didn’t bring any clothes?”

“I can buy clothes Rey.” Kylo told her.

“Well, on that note I’m going to bed. I will see you all in the morning.” Leia smiled, making her way to the stairs. Han followed her, giving a quick goodnight to everyone as he left.

“Us too, maybe since your back we won’t have to wake up to screaming.” Ben said, grabbing Rey’s hand to lead her upstairs.

“Try to keep it down.” Rey winked to you.

Once they were gone, Kylo stood offering you his hand. “We need to talk, but I think it would be better if we went to our room first.”

You nodded, taking his hand and leading him up the steps to your hallway. Opening the door to the bedroom you let him inside first before following in and closing the door.

“Were you going somewhere?” Kylo asked, looking at your clothes thrown onto of the suitcase you’d thrown on the floor.

“Oh, um. Ben and I were fighting. I was going to leave.” You told him.

“Where were you going to go?” He asked, and you could only reply with a shrug. “What was the fight about?” He moved on.

“You. Me. Us. How we were acting like emo teens.” You told him. “He wouldn’t tell me if they were getting anywhere with the lawyers or how much longer I’d have to be away from you and I got upset.”

Kylo turned to you then. “Upset that he wouldn’t tell you?”

“Upset that I couldn’t just tell you how much I missed you.”

In a single heart beat Kylo was on you. Closing the gap between the two of you in one stride. He cupped your cheek and brought his face down to yours. Kylo’s lips molded your own. Your body buzzed against him. All at once it was as if a wall of emotion had been broken down inside you. You couldn’t stop the tears once they started. You did your best to ignore them, kissing Kylo even as the salty taste leaked into your mouths and laid on your tongues. Even then Kylo kissed you hard, as if he was trying to burn the lines of your lips onto his own. It was impossible to ignore when the sobs choked your throat and you pulled back to breathe. Kylo pulled you to his chest, running his hand up and down your back to sooth you.

“It’s almost over.” He told you. “I’m here, and it’s almost over.”

Catching your breath, you spoke into his chest. “Then why does it feel like it never will be.”

With that his lips were back on your, walking you backwards across the room towards the bed. When your feet weren’t moving fast enough, he grabbed you by your thighs and wrapped your around his waist. The warmth inside your lower belly spread through your body as he moved, clouding your mind from anything but him. Kylo dropped you to the bed with a soft thud, and you pushed yourself backwards towards the middle on the bed. Wasting no time Kylo undid his jean, kicking them to the side once they were down and in one motion Kylo pulled his shirt over his head and crawled onto the bed.

“Arms.” He told you, ripping your own shirt up over your head. Once that was done, he slowly pulled your pants down with one hand while the other laid behind your head. He tossed your pants next to his on the floor before turning all attention back to you. It was like seeing him again for the first time. His brown eyes searched every inch of your body and his hair which had grown out slightly was hanging around his face as he watched you. “I miss you.” He whispered, running a single finger down your body, starting between your breast until he reached your sex.

“I missed you more.” You told him, breath hitching as his fingers found your clit.

“It was the worst two weeks of my life.” He said, his fingers started to press circles into you. “I thought you were gone. That’d I’d never see you again, I’d never kiss you again.” He smirked as he trailed his fingers from your clit to your opening, already slick from just the thought of him. “I thought I’d never get to watch you cum again.” He slid two fingers into you. “Always so wet for me.” He told you. His fingers worked you open, hitting the spot inside you that gave you chills. Your eyes already felt heavy, but you couldn’t look away from him, burning this moment into your brain, breathing him into your soul. Kylo pulled his fingers out and brought them to his lips, cleaning your slick off of his fingers with his tongue. He hummed to himself, staring you down. “I’ve missed that.”

You were sure you stopped breathing as he shifted back on top of your body to line his cock up with your entrance. He didn’t look away from your face as he plunged himself inside, causing a loud moan to rip from your throat. Kylo didn’t give you anytime to adjust. He started strong his heavy stroke hit deep inside you. Cries poured from your mouth at the filling feelings and it was only moments before you felt yourself building. “Did you miss this cock?” He grunted.

“Yes.” You moaned to him.

“I missed those breathy little moans. I missed hearing those moans and cries as you say my name and beg for me.”

Tears resurfaced as he spoke, both from his words and the feeling inside you. “Kylo. I’m going to cum.”

“Not yet baby.” He said, pulling himself out of you. “Flip.”

Slowly you rolled over, bringing yourself on your hands and knee’s in front of him. Kylo grabbed your hips, pulling your ass closer to him so he could seat himself back inside slowly. Gripping the pillows you waited for him to move but he didn’t. You turned your head to look back to him, but before you could he shoved your head down onto the pillow, keeping you from seeing him. All you could hear was your own breathing for a while, before you felt was could only be described as rain drops hit your lower back. Crying. Kylo was crying.

“Kylo.” You whispered, trying to turn around again.

But the sound of your voice brought Kylo back to this moment. As you tried to turn again he gripped your arms and pinned them behind your back, leaving you lean on your shoulders and face. All at once his moments were harsh again, the only thing keeping your body from sliding up the bed was his grip on your arms. You moaned to him as felt the climax rebuilding.

“Cum.” He demanded, and you did. Releasing around him you yelled out his name before your world went black. You could only feel Kylo as he came with you. The world around you was still as Kylo pulled out and laid beside you, bringing you into his arms. “We’ll never have to be apart again.” He told you.

“Promise?” You asked as you settled next to him.

“I promise.”

The next morning you were woken up with fingers stringing softly through your hair. You smiled as you felt Kylo’s body still in bed with you.

“Morning.” You told him, willing your eyes to open.

“Good morning beautiful. Are you hungry?” He asked. You nodded to him, slowly sitting up. “Let go get some food, then we can come back here and do this all day.” He told you.

“We still need to talk.” You reminded him.

“Later.” He smirked, pulling you off the bed and into the hall.

Once down in the kitchen Kylo told you to sit at the counter- bar while he got two bowls, milk and ceral down from the cabinet.

“Something quick.” He winked.

You blushed and smiled to him as he made his way over to you, placing the bowl in front of you and filling both of your bowls up. It wasn’t until you were pouring your second bowl when Ben and Rey made their way into the kitchen too.

“Fun night?” Ben smirked, grabbing the ceral box from you.

“Watch it.” Kylo told him and Ben’s smirk faded.

Han walked into the kitchen, looking even more exhausted and stressed than he had the previous day. “Good you’re here.”

“What’s going on?” Ben asked.

Han leaned against the counter next to Kylo. “I’ve spoken to Maul.”

“And?” Kylo urged.

“And Bazine will talk, but only to you.” Han told Kylo.

“No fucking way.” Kylo huffed.

“Kylo-“ Ben tried

“No. she’s crazy. She tried to ruin my life no way I’m doing that.” Kylo shook his head to them.

“Kylo.” You said so quietly you weren’t sure anyone but Kylo could hear you. “You promised this would be over soon. What if this is the way to end it?”

Kylo watched your face, his eyes looking over you to look for some way to tell you no but eventually he sighed. “When will she meet?”

“3 days from now, in New York.” Han told him.

“I’ll go. But Ben comes too.” Kylo stated. “And you stay here.” He told you.

“What?” You shook your head. “No, I don’t want you to go back to New York without me, I don’t want to be here without you.”

“We’ll go and come back same day.” Ben told you.

“You promised.” You reminded Kylo, ignoring Ben completely.

Kylo pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled lightly. “Fine. But you can’t come when we talk to her.”

“Fine.” You agreed.

“We probably shouldn’t stay at your house.” Rey said.

“No we’ll get a hotel.” Kylo nodded.

“I’ll book them.” Ben said, moving towards the kitchen door with Rey following.

“Well.” Kylo said when you were alone. “Guess it’s time you and I talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we know the family secret, and next up to find out why Bazine is an INSANE human.  
> I hope everyone is still loving it and the smut was okay, it's been a minute. Let me know. Will try again if needed. 
> 
> Update on my life:  
> I've said we're in the process of moving for two weeks and NOW IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING! Friday is the day! YAY!  
> So again not sure about posting but I'm sure in two weeks i'll be good to post again! 
> 
> I'm going to try to post for How to solve a Murder Wednesday! then that will be on a break as well because that one is taking me a little more time to write! 
> 
> As always thanks so much for the love <3


	32. A long time coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Blood, fighting, A gun.

The soft click of the door to Kylo’s childhood bedroom shutting sounded from behind you as you made your way to sit on the bed. Turning to face him before you plopped yourself down. Kylo took in a deep breath before he turned too look at you.

“Where do we start?” You asked calmly, despite your heart beating out of your chest.

Kylo walked over, looking to the spot next to you on the bed but instead decided to stand. “Why didn’t you tell me.”

“Kylo you know that she told me-“

He cut you off. “But why didn’t you tell me. We could have worked this out, you could have warned me.”

“And what if she found out?” You questioned.

“How would she have known?”

“How does she know anything Kylo. I couldn’t tell you, but she would have. She threatened to release information about your family, it could have been about you for all knew. I wouldn’t risk that.” You told him, standing from the bed.

“I thought you were gone.” He told you. “You could have told me. But instead you and my whole family lied to me-“

You cut him off this time. “Kylo we already went over this part downstairs I don’t understand why we are talking about it again when you told me you understood-“

“I don’t understand!” He shouted. “I understand why you did it. I get that, but it doesn’t hurt any less. I doesn’t make the pain of thinking I’d lost you go away!” He shouted. “I don’t understand how you could leave me in the dark so long.”

You both sat in silence, the only sound in the room Kylo’s labored breathing. You stared at him, for the first time seeing how truly shattered he was.

“I love you Kylo. I only did what I thought was right at the time.” You finally spoke.

He looked at you, eyes wild. “And now?” He asked.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You told him.

He sighed, taking a seat on the bed. “And now? Do you think that was the right thing to do?”

You thought it over, sitting next to him. “I can’t say either way what I would have done differently.” You paused to watch him as he stared at the floor in front of him. “But I can tell you that I’m happy I don’t have to be away from you anymore. I can tell you that I’m happy to have you here. But I can also understand if you want me to leave and never see me again.”

You stopped, waiting for his response and to your surprise Kylo laughed. He laughed lightly as he turned to face you. “You really think I would have dropped everything and came here if I never wanted to see you again?” You looked back to the ground and shrugged slightly. “Look at me.” Kylo told you, grabbing your chin lightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled at him.

“Good.” Kylo smiled before his frown returned. “What did Ben mean about the screaming?”

You looked away from him, scooting backwards to lay on your pillow. “I was having nightmares while we were apart.”

Kylo joined you in laying down. “What about?”

“I don’t remember.” You rolled on your side to face him. “I would just be screaming in my sleep until someone woke me up, or I woke myself up from the screaming.”

Kylo was quiet as he thought about it. “I kept having the same nightmare. The night you left. Eventually it was better not to sleep at all until my body would make me.”

You nodded, finding Kylo’s hand to squeeze with your own. “I didn’t have them last night.” You told him, and he hummed in agreement. “Hopefully tonight we both sleep through the night.”

“I hope so, we’re going to need it.” Kylo sighed, turning to face you. “Something tells me the next few days are going to busy.”

That he was right about. As soon as you woke up and made your way downstairs the kitchen was already buzzing. A new face sat at the table next to Han, Leia, Ben and Rey. You’d assumed that Mr. Maul had arrived to help, why you weren’t sure quiet sure yet.

“There’s been a change in the plan.” Ben told you.

“A change?” Kylo questioned.

“Bazine has decided to decline seeing you.” Maul explained.

“What? Why?” You asked.

Maul looked between the two of you before continuing. “She’s suspicious I suspect.”

“So now what?” Kylo asked.

“We have to make her less suspicious.” Ben told him.

Kylo sighed, already exhausted by this. “And how do we do that?”

“I think if she hears it from you, she’s more likely to come.” Maul told him.

Kylo rolled his eyes softly. “Of course she would.”

“From there our plan is the same. You meet her, the chief of police and his officers will be there to arrest her, and from there we have a case against her.” Maul continued.

“Arrest her for what exactly?” You asked him.

“Extortion.” Han told you.

You sat back in your chair and Kylo placed a hand on your thigh. “Okay.” He agreed.

“Okay?” Ben questioned him.

“Okay. If it means this is over, then okay.” Kylo told him.

“It’s not a guarantee.” Han told him.

“But it’s the best chance we have at her.” Ben reminded him.

“I said I’ll do it.” Kylo said, growing annoyed with the back and forth.

“Okay then!” Maul said, standing. “I’ll send you the number and leave you too it.”

“I’ll show you to your room. You must have had a long flight.” Leia told him, standing to usher him out of the kitchen.

Once he was gone Han stood as well. “I don’t agree with this plan.”

“You did when we first talked about it.” Ben reminded him.

“Yes. Before she was suspicious.” Han explained. “Now I think to many things could go wrong.”

“Something can always go wrong.” Kylo told him.

Han huffed, mumbling under his breath as he left the room. Kylo’s phone dinged, signaling that Maul had sent over the number. All heads turned to watch him get up from the table to make his way over to where it sat on the kitchen counter. You could hear your own breath coming out heavier than usual as you waited for what Kylo would do next.

“Let get this over with.” Kylo said as he checked the phone and gave Ben a slight nod before touching the screen and bringing it to his ear. The room stood in still silence as Kylo’s eyes found yours. Whether to reassure you, or ground himself you weren’t sure. What you were sure of was the sound of the soft hello as the ringing stopped.

“It’s me.” Kylo said. He was met with complete silence. He waited, seeing if she would say anything but she didn’t. “Look. I think..” He trailed off, watching your face before he spoke again. “I think you were right, about everything. I want to meet and talk.”

It hurt hearing him say it. Even knowing the game that was being played your heart sank at his words. But his stare bore into you, keeping you connected to him. The soft voice finally came through the other line, but you couldn’t make out what she was saying.

“I can’t, I can tomorrow……. No. No. It’s…. Fine. Yes…….. Okay. I’ll be there.” She spoke more and Kylo hummed to her before he brought the phone back down. He looked down at it, checking to make sure she had hung up.

“So?” Ben asked, standing from his chair.

Kylo looked up to Ben then back to you. “Get dressed. I’m meeting her at 6pm for dinner.”

There it was. It was finally happening. Kylo was going to see Bazine alone. You didn’t have to much time to think it over as the four of you rushed to get ready. Ben going to tell Mr. Maul the new plan who in turn made several phone calls to set things up. Once you were ready you made your way to the front of the house where two cars waited outside the house for the five of you.

“Why two cars?” You asked Kylo.

He took your bag and walked towards the first one. “Rey and Ben are meeting us at the airport.”

“But why?” You pushed.

“I have something I want to show you.” He smiled, holding the car door open for you.

Once in the driver pulled out of the driveway, turning the opposite way of the airport. You looked to Kylo who gave you a simple smile. The drive was about 20 minutes from Han and Leia’s house. The driver turned down a road with some wooded area surrounded it. The car came to a stop about halfway down, but when you looked around you could see nothing around you but trees. Kylo watched you as you looked for any sign of what might be happening.

“Come on.” Kylo told you, pulling you out of the car and into a little path clearing. After some trees was field of grass. It was a large empty slot of land, still slightly moist from rain.

“Kylo where are we?” You asked, following him into the middle of the field. “Whose land is this?”

Kylo turned to you, bringing both of your hands into his. “It’s ours.”

“What?” You questioned, looking around.

“Well, technically it’s mine. But I’m hoping that it will be yours too.” He gave you a soft smile and reached into his back pocket. Slowly he releveled your engagement ring, the one you previously returned to him. “When you gave this back to me, it was the worst moment of my life. Now, knowing what I know and knowing you were protecting me I see it was actually the hardest for you. But now that all of this is about to be over I want to be looking forward. For me that means getting away from the place everything crumbled and rebuilding where it proved to be strongest.” Kylo paused, looking around the field. “I bought this for us. For us to build our home if that’s what you want too, and if it’s not then I’ll sell it and we can find something else, somewhere else.” He looked back to you, holding out the ring with his pointer finger and thumb. “The point is, I still want you next too me. I have never, and will never love anyone like I love you and if you’ll still have me after all of this crazy bullshit then I will give you everything you could ever want.”

You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you finally sucked in air. A small laugh came from you, causing Kylo to give you a questioning look. “Kylo.” You smiled at him. “You’re everything I ever wanted, and this.” You gestured around the land. “If this is what you want, then I am all in, with you.”

Kylo’s lips were on you not a second after you finished talking, he picked you up with one arm around your waist to bring you closer to him. After a minute you both pulled back for air and you giggled as he set you back on your feet.

“May I?” He asked, holding out the ring again.

You smile and nodded, holding out your hand for him to put your ring back on.

“I love you.” He told you, bringing you into his chest.

“I love you too.” You said into his chest.

After you both got back into the car, the ride to the airport seemed to fly by. You felt like you were in the haze. A loving, happy haze as Kylo’s hand stayed wrapped around yours. Despite where you were headed you couldn’t seem to find it in you to be upset. That feeling quickly died once you were on the plane, listening to Ben and Kylo talk over their plan with Kenobi and Maul. The chief of police was ready to help, and Maul made sure nothing was out of place legally. You listened intently, waiting to hear your part in all this when Kylo stopped your thoughts.

“Rey, you’ll stay with her all night.” He told her.

“Stay with me where?” You asked.

Kylo kept his eyes cast down at his hands, folded in his lap. “Far, far away from the restaurant.”

“What? No. Kylo. We agreed we’d do this together.” You told him.

Everyone else seemed to find anything else on the plane very interesting in that moment, and Kylo finally looked back to you. “I told you before you couldn’t come when I talked to her. I have to keep you safe.”

“I’ll be there with him.” Ben told you. “But Bazine has already tried to hurt you once. We don’t know what’d she do if she saw you again. We know she won’t hurt Kylo.”

You were about to ask how they knew that when you remembered, she loves him. Of course she wouldn’t hurt him. Kylo looked to you, waiting for your agreement but instead you sat back and crossed your arms, looking out the window and not at him. You heard him sigh, but he knew that was the most agreement from you he’d get right now. Nodding to Ben the men continued to go over the details but you choose now not to listen, instead pouting like a child who’d just been told no over a toy at the store. When the plane landed and everyone made their way to the cars waiting for them Kylo stopped you before getting in.

“Please try to understand.” He pleaded.

“I do understand Kylo. I’m just not happy about it.” You told him, attempting to open the door again.

He stopped you, place his hand in your way. “Then why are you acting like this?”

You paused, finally looking at him. “Because you get to know I’m safe, but I don’t get to know you are. Sure we think she loves you, so she won’t hurt you. But what if that love has turned to anger now?”

Kylo stared at you, processing your words, but said nothing. After a moment he moved his hand, opening the door for you to get in. You looked at him a second longer before climbing into the car. He followed behind, scooting in beside you. For the first 10 minutes you kept up your anger act, but as the car ride continued you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand, to show him you wanted to keep him safe too. So you did, to Kylo’s surprise, you grabbed his hand and pushed yourself against him. Kylo aloud it, pulling you even closer to him and resting his chin on your head.

Back at the hotel Ben got your room keys, getting you conjoining rooms. Ben got ready quickly while Rey went with Ben to their room to shower and change. Kylo and you said no words as he got his things out of his suitcase and went into the bathroom to get himself ready. When he came back out he was looking dashing as ever. He had on a fitted black suit, with his matching dress shoes. If the situation wasn’t what it was, you would have told Kylo how handsome he looked in his suit. Your eyes still danced over him, but your stomach turned as you thought about who else would get to see him like this. Ben on the other hand emerged from the door in jeans and a black hoodie.

“Ready to go?” He asked Kylo.

“Just about.” Kylo nodded to him before making his way over to where you sat back against the head board. “I’ll call you as soon as this is over.”

You nodded to him and leaned into his short kiss before he turned and followed Ben out the door.

“Looks like it’s just us.” Rey said, coming to join you on the bed.

“Aren’t you worried?” You asked her.

“Yes.” She sighed. “But the more I think about it the worse it will be so I’m choosing not to.”

“I can’t just shut my mind off like that.” You told her.

“Well, let’s do something instead.” She grabbed the remote off the nightstand. “Want to watch a movie?”

You stared at the wall in front of you. “Did you know about the land?”

“The land?” Rey questioned.

“That Kylo bought.”

Rey sat up more. “Kylo bought land?”

“For us, to build a house.”

That made her smile. “Kylo bought land for you to build a house!”

“Yes.” You nodded.

“And you have your ring back on.” She noted.

“I do.”

Rey’s smile slowly grew wider. “Does that mean I get to plan a wedding, and help you decorate a house?”

You look at her and gave her a half smile before looking down at your hands. “I feel sick.”

Rey groaned your name softly. “Come on.” She told you standing from the bed.

You looked up from your hands to watch her walk to her room. “Come where?”

“We can’t go to THAT restaurant, but there are plenty of other places in New York. I can’t stand the fact that all these nice things are happening for you and you’re over here being worried.”

A soft smile came over you as you too got up from the bed. “And I know exactly where I want to go.”

Quickly you dressed in jeans and t-shirt, throwing on a jacket over it. Rey came out looking the same. You made your way out of the hotel, walking in the direction of your favorite dinner arm and arm with Rey. The back of your mind wondered how it was going for Kylo, wishing you could be there. The other half of your brain was happy to be as far away from it as your could be. But still more than anything you worried.

The diner was quiet when you walked in. The two of you seemed to be the only people in the place tonight, which was fine with you. Rey made her way to a table in the middle of the room as a waiter came to greet you.

“Can I get you ladies anything to drink?” He asked, a kind smile on his face.

“Soda’s are fine.” Rey told him.

“Thank you.” You added for her.

“Now can we talk about how exciting your life is?” Rey asked.

“Fine.” You smiled.

“Also, that ring is just as pretty the second time around.” She joked.

The waiter came back with your soda’s, telling you that he’d be back for your orders and to bring you some fresh bread they’d just made. Rey told him to take him time. Once the waiter left you both busied yourselves looking over the menu. Rey started on telling you about all the best places she knows to start looking at material for the house and you nodded as she went on, still looking over the menu in front of you. Behind you could hear the bell of the door, but thought nothing until Rey stopped talking. You looked up to see Rey’s face had gone pale as she stared behind you. The next sound made your blood run cold, and your stomach drop.

Silence, met by _heals_.

The sound of heals on the floor coming closer to you. You knew exactly who it was before you turn around, if not by the way she walked then by Rey’s face. You took a breath in through your nose as you slowly turned to where you heard the heals stopped.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You swore under your breath.

“Funny.” Bazine said. “I thought I told you to leave New York.”

“Hello to you too.” You said to her calmly.

Shocked by your answer Bazine cocked her head to you, and although you couldn’t see her you knew Rey was watching you as well.

“I was just having dinner with my friend. Getting the rest of my things from here and going back to my new place.” You told her, turning around to your back was to her again. Rey watched you, her own expression not so calm.

Bazine was quiet for a beat behind you before she laughed. “You people really think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

You cursed internally, not that you really thought Bazine would take that answer and leave but you had hoped. “Why is that?”

“Because I know you’re here with Kylo.” She pushed.

“And what makes you think that.” You asked.

“You want me to think it’s a coincidence he wants to meet me the same night you’re back in town?”

“How would you even know I was back in New York?” You asked her, still not turning back to her.

Bazine hummed softly. “I told you I know everything.”

“Whatever.” You huffed out. “I’m not with Kylo, okay?”

“ENOUGH!” Bazine yelled. Rey’s eyes grew wide as you heard Bazine pull something from her purse.

Slowly you turned back to her, standing slowly. Bazine stood, shaking, and pointing a gun directly at your chest. “Stop lying.” She told you through gritted teeth.

Taking shakey breaths, you stepped towards her. Rey said your name softly behind you but you ignored her. “Bazine. You don’t want to do this.”

“Oh, but I do! I’ve been thinking about it for months and I think this is truly the only way I will ever get past any of this or get rid of you for good.” She told you.

The gun shook as she spoke, and the voice in your head told you she would do it. If you didn’t talk your way out of this Bazine would kill you right here, right now without blinking.

“Bazine. You need to listen too me.” You told her calmly. “I’m getting my things and I’m leaving New York. I’m having dinner with my friend because she was worried about me suddenly leaving. If Kylo asked to meet you, then you should go meet him. I have nothing to do with it.”

“It’s true.” Rey finally spoke behind you.

“LIARS!” Bazine screamed. “Both of you are LYING! I know who you are Rey. She and Kylo were in your wedding. I’m not stupid. You married Kylo’s twin. You were at the board meeting when i was let go.”

”I’m still her friend.” Rey told her. 

“Unlikely.” Bazine snapped. 

Your mind raced. This really might be it. You stared death in the face. Had you not been so terrified you may have found humor in the fact it was actually Bazine to take you out as you said she would. Although when you said it you had meant due to the mental and emotion damage, but no. Here she stood with a gun to your chest ready to end it all.

“Sit the fuck down.” Bazine said, bringing you from your thoughts. You were about to sit back down when you realized she wasn’t speaking to you.

“Bazine. You don’t actually want to kill her.” You heard Rey say, coming around the table.

“I assure you, I do.” Bazine laughed. “And I’ll kill you too if you get in my way.”

Rey shook her head. “This will ruin your life.”

Bazine smiled wider. “No. My family will cover it up, I’ll be fine.”

“Not this Bazine. This you can’t undo.” Rey pushed.

While Rey was talking, you felt your phone buzzing in your back pocket. Kylo. By now he’ll have realized Bazine wasn’t coming, and that you weren’t in your hotel room. Once your buzzing stopped, Reys phone started. This time the buzzing was louder as her phone sat on the table.

“Don’t even think about it.” Bazine warned her, pointing the gun towards Rey now.

“I’m not stupid.” Rey scoffed at her. “Just let us go Bazine. She was telling you the truth. Let us leave, so she can leave New York. Go meet Kylo and end this. Go be with him. You’ve won. Enjoy it, don’t ruin it.”

Bazine thought it over as she looked between you and Rey. You held your breath as you prayed she just leave.

“No.” Bazine shook her head. “If Kylo does want to be with me, he’ll be happy I tied up loose ends.” Bazine pointed the gun back to you. “But my guess is, he and Ben and about 50 cops are waiting for me at the restaurant he wanted me to go too, isn’t that right?” She paused. “That’s a nice ring you have.”

Before either of you could even answer Rey’s cell phone buzzed again, causing her to look at it.

“No one fucking moves!” Bazine yelled as her finger danced on the trigger, gun still pointed at your chest.

“They’ll know Bazine. As soon as you don’t show, they’ll know.” You warned her.

Bazine looked between you and Rey, who only nodded in agreement. Bazine shook her head. “I think it’s time we finish this. It's been a long time coming don't you think?” 

Just as you saw her grip tightening on the trigger you heard the waiter behind. The door softly swinging to the kitchen behind him.

  
“What’s going on here?!” He questioned. 

You turned around to warn him but suddenly everything went dead silent as all you could hear was ringing. You waited for the feeling to hit you, but it never did. Instead you saw the waiter drop plate of bread in his hand. The bread and plate dropped to the floor shattering around his feet before he dropped too, like a bag of bricks.

“Holy fuck.” You breathed out.

“Oh my god!” Bazine yelled behind you.

Without thinking you ran over to the waiter, looking for where he had been shot as you dropped onto your knees side him.

“I’m dead!” He cried, clutching his stomach.

“You’re not dead.” You told him, ripping off your jacket and putting it over his wound. “You’re fine. You’re going to be fine.”

“You actually shot him!” Rey yelled at Bazine.

“He scared me!” Bazine yelled at her.

The waiter popped his head off the ground to look at Bazine. “This is how you respond to people scaring you?!”

“This is your fault!” She yelled to you.

“My fault?!” You yelled at Bazine.

“If you would’ve just stayed out of New York like I said.” She yelled back.

You placed the waiter’s hands over your jacket, keeping the pressure on the wound before you stood up. Your blood boiled, the fact that Bazine had a gun pointed at your face was the furthest thing from your mind as you stormed towards her.

“Stay away from me!” She yelled. She tried to back up a few paces but tripped on her heals and fell backwards. The gun dropped from her hands, firing at the door and causing Rey to jump.

“Fucking hell!” Rey yelled as the glass from the door rained down.

You quickly kicked the gun away from Bazine as she reached for it before bringing your hand back and hitting her square in the nose, just like the last time you’d hit her.

“MY FAULT!?” You yelled in her face. Bringing your arm back you struck her again. “This is all you.” Two more punches to the face. “All of this was because of you.”

Bazine spat, spreading her blood across your face. “You should have stayed away from him.” She told you. “He loves me.”

You dropped down to stratal Bazine as you hit her again. “Loves you?! You dumb, fucking bitch. He can’t stand the thought of you!” You stuck her again. “You fucked up my life, you fucked up Kylo’s life and now you’ve shot an innocent person.” You watched the blood pour from her nose as you knelt over her. Bazine attempted to knee you in the back, missing twice before she hit you directly in the spine.

Screaming you arched your back, just enough for Bazine to push her hips up and flip you over. She pulled her arm back, bringing it forwards and knocking you in the jaw. The pain was almost blinding. You heard a crunch, but you weren’t sure if it was your jaw or her knuckles. “You never deserved him. He was way to good for you. You could never love him like I can. I can make him so much happier than you ever could. I belong with him.”

Rey attempted to pull her off of you, but Bazine turned and elbowed her in the nose sending Rey backwards and onto her ass. While she was distracted you used your weight to knock her back over, once again being on top of her. Blue and red lights flooded the room, loud sirens outside on the street, but in this moment it was just you and Bazine. Nothing else seemed to matter. Balling her shirt up in your fist you pulled Bazine off the ground in a blind range.

“You belong in an insane asylum.” You said as released her, causing her head to bounce off the floor under her with a loud thud.

Rey yelled your name as you hit Bazine again, but you blocked her out. Choosing instead to continue your hits on Bazine. The sound of glass cracking under shoes sounded around you and Rey voice followed by other voices flooded the background, but you didn’t stop. Not until two large hands lifted you off of Bazine and onto your feet. You kicked and punched at whoever it was until Kylo’s voice hit your ears while he held you against his chest.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” He told you, his grip on your strong. “I have you.”

You took deep breaths as you realized it was him. Your adrenaline and emotions to high. You could barely feel your hands, but you saw the blood on them from where you were gripping his shirt.Your head was pounding. It took everything in you to stay up right. But still you wanted to see him. You needed to see him to ground you again, to remind you that you hadn't gone completely insane. You tilted your head up, hoping to catch his eyes but as you did your vision went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a long time to get up.  
> Both Mentally and time wise. My heart and head wasn't sure if this was good enough but after reading it a few times and adding and subtracting some things I hope that this is the ass kicking you all wanted to give Bazine yourself. 
> 
> I love that this story slowly turned into all of us just hating Bazine. For me she lives in my head rent free so i'm glad Y/N could finally take her down. 
> 
> Don't worry, this isn't the end of things for Bazine, she will get all things that she deserves. 
> 
> If you've stuck around, thank you for waiting. The next chapter won't be out until after the new year, so happy new year and I hope 2021 is better for all <3


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